Welcome to Facet’s and this month’s question: How do you go through change? We thought we’d infuse a little humor on the topic with our image selection. Sometimes, a little levity helps when change is on the horizon.
Change happens whether we want it or not. Ultimately, navigating change determines where we wind up.
If we map out our course and cooperate with God, we’ll get to where He intends much quicker. If we resist change, we get mired down in muck. Our resistance causes us to work much harder to get where we’re going. Perhaps we’ll never wind up where God meant for us to be.
Maybe we won’t completely miss our intended destination, but we’ll miss out on some of the good God desperately wants to give us.
It’s a powerful motivator─the thought of missing God’s best, because we can’t (or won’t) let go of what used to be. If He has to pry our fingers from the past, it’ll take a whole lot longer to fill our hands with the good things He desires to place in them. Each season is fresh and alive with possibility if we’ll embrace it.
Even some of the hard circumstances in life have possibility. Enduring. Getting through and crossing to the other side of that difficult time has the great reward of intimacy with the Lord if we are willing to “go there” and be real and raw and personal with Him.
On the other side we also see the strength of our spiritual muscle. What faith, perseverance, love, and hope formed in that dark time of desperate trial can do in one woman’s or man’s life. It’s part of our story. It’s part of what we share with others. It’s part of what will minister so very deeply to those who don’t yet know Jesus or have just gotten acquainted with Him. It can make people curious enough to be just the least bit receptive to the good news.
I’m speaking from personal experience. I’ve had dark times. But God’s love illuminated my life and continues to do so. We all have hard things we have to go through. None of us gets an immunization from difficulty.
How we deal with difficulty determines our destiny.
I’ve witnessed the tragedy of people not letting go of the former things, a lack of willingness to press into the new things God has for them.
A delay in receiving God’s goodness breaks my heart when I see it. I want nothing more than for the person to grab hold of God’s hand and walk with Him, stretching and growing, not screaming and kicking. I know His ways don’t always make sense to us. There have been times I’ve been completely confused myself.
That’s when I ask for Him to show me what He’s doing. Where are we going? What’s this about? I try not to ask “why”. Why doesn’t really matter much. The answer to that question isn’t going to bring me anywhere. Instead, I want to go through. So I pray. I ask for His help. I seek His comfort. I let Him minister to the broken places in my heart. I let Him renew my mind. Sometimes, my thoughts need changing, reshaping. The things I once thought so certain, God shows me otherwise. He softens my heart. He shows me things through His Word and every day people who He is and how much He loves me─always, but especially when circumstances make it appear and feel otherwise.
Those are some of the sweetest, more pure moments between me and God. Tears slip down my cheek, not in sadness but due to His sweetness as He comforts me in a way only He can.
When I see people unwilling to let go of what was and go through change with God’s help, I want to say, “Just cooperate. It’ll be okay! Let go of those old, false beliefs. Lean in. Listen. Let Him help you! He will! Stop fighting! Relax in His loving arms. There’s peace there. Comfort. Adventure and bliss. Yes, life is a battle. Sometimes it’s hard. When it is, let Him help. Let Him help. Let Him help. Let Him help.”
Victim mentality doesn’t bring victory. The blood of Jesus does.
The alternative to walking with God through change? People become jaded. Bitter. Scars jagged, rough to the touch. Maybe can’t be touched. Like a porcupine, prickly so people start avoiding you. It might make you feel safe, but it’s a prison really. A prison of personal pain that doesn’t have to be. We have choice. We can choose to embrace change. Like a little girl who can’t get pried from her daddy’s arms after a nightmare, cling to the process of change. One day you’ll be surprised to wake up and find the nightmare has ended. Sun streams in the bedroom window, light pure as the white sheers letting in the sun’s rays. Dreams good. Hopeful. And dare I say, happy.
In God’s love, mercy and grace, I wake up to those sun rays warming my face and wonder how did I get here to this good, hopeful, dare I say happy place? Change. Some big. Some gradual. All of it good, because God worked it to be that way.
It’s so over-used, but I don’t even care. It feels appropriate. When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade.
Before you think, you just don’t understand what I’ve been through. Maybe you are right. Maybe I don’t. But Jesus does! I do know I’ve had some lemons tossed my way, and with God’s help we’re making lemonade.
One of those lemons happened late last year. I was so confused as to what God was doing. I couldn’t see how losing a job I loved so much, that felt like I was fulfilling the very reason I was placed on this planet, could ever be good. It was a passion. I was helping women. And, in fact, it was the fulfillment of a vision He’d given me years before. I felt like He’d plunked me there for “such a time as this”. It was a rich season with Him. He was so very present, almost palpable.
Poof! It was gone!
It took a moment to catch my breath. I felt like I’d been pushed out a three-story building and landed hard on my back. Not dead, but the wind knocked out of me.
Whether it was God or satan who removed me from that place, I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter. What does matter is what lies ahead.
Even how we deal with change changes. The one constant if we are going to change well is to change with God. The other details don’t always stay the same. I say that because I’m about to share how God helped me through that time at a relatively fast pace (which is DEFINITELY one of the advantages of cooperating with God sooner rather than later). The more quickly I can get to a place to settle down and hear from God, the faster I can get through those difficult times. And since I don’t like pain, I have a high motivation to get a move on!
1. God comforted me in advance of the change.
If you are in a difficult season, look for how God was showing up in advance of it. Journals are a great source. Reflect on what God was saying or doing before the bottom fell out. What conversations did you have with others in the days and weeks preceding? Look for the clues where Christ was preparing your heart and mind ahead of time.
I was told I was going to receive a gift that would not feel like a gift. (More later about how this loss became─and is becoming─a gift.)
2. God told me to grieve and to reveal His glory through it even as I did.
You see, it’s okay to be sad sometimes. I WAS sad. I had poured my heart and soul into launching the ministry. I knew God was using me to bring deeply traumatized women into places of healing, helping them meet and experience God each day. I knew He’d used me to set up processes, hire and train employees, and just when things were about to be a little easier because all those things were in place, I wouldn’t get to experience the fruits from all that labor. And I wondered how it could happen when God had given me the vision.
I cried a gallon of tears. But I never gave up hope.
Honestly, in the past, it was NOT GRIEVING that used to get me in a whole heap of trouble. Before I was a believer, I’d sweep things under the rug. The only problem with that is sometimes the rug moves and the pain and problems not dealt with are revealed no matter how much we want to hide from them. Better to deal with problems in season.
3. Pray and worship.
Along with my grieving, I prayed. A lot. I listened to worship music incessantly. I couldn’t get enough. As I journaled and processed my pain, God ministered to my soul. If I felt like I was submitting to depression, I’d sing. And sing. And sing. My singing submission to God, knowing He’d see my worship as a sacrifice bringing forth a fragrant aroma. He knows it’s hard to worship when we don’t understand. It’s what makes our worship even sweeter to Him. It’s also what saved me from a spiral of defeat while I was waiting for Him to reveal what was next.
4. Slap shame in the face.
I know that sounds harsh, but so is shame. Don’t take it. Permission to fight back with the truth! Pull out promises and smack the enemy with the truth about who you are and whose you are!
Sometimes, the things we are changing from and through require us to deal with shame. You see, the enemy wanted to bury me with shame and embarrassment. (Even in the writing of this post, he didn’t want me to be real and share, to be vulnerable about what could have been very shameful.)
Again, in God’s goodness, He kept playing a song for me — especially before a couple of significant meetings. I couldn’t escape the song Lions by Skillet. Every time I heard it, it was as if God was saying to me, “Hold your head up. You did nothing wrong. I have something new for you. Be brave little lion.”
Part of what He was doing was redeeming a situation from the past. He was showing me how much I’d grown by walking with Him. While the situation made me sad, it didn’t devastate me. Even something as significant as “losing” what I felt was my calling, couldn’t destroy me or my spirit. That was different from the past. He was showing me I knew and know who I am. His. I am His.
5. Change takes stamina. Sometimes we need to rest before we can run a new race.
God wouldn’t let me move forward until I got some rest. I didn’t realize how exhausted I truly was until I was given the chance to rest. If you know me, you know rest isn’t an easy word for me to embrace. I like to do. To move. To accomplish awesome things with and for God. But if my tank is empty, I’ll go nowhere fast. That’s for all of us. We all need refueling.
I had just left an intense time of ministry that had left me emotionally drained. Working with trauma survivors is no easy task (and without God’s grace – impossible!)
Not only was I emotionally drained, I had spiritual scars. I knew to expect spiritual attack stepping into a ministry that pierced the darkness of human trafficking. Even expecting it, I underestimated it. The battles were intense. Most mornings I was up at 4 or 4:30 praying, spiritually girding myself for the day ahead. It was necessary for my spiritual survival.
Being on guard at that level of intensity, engaging in emotional trauma work which is far more tiring than a vigorous workout, left me limp and exhausted.
Every time I’d ask God, “What do you want me to do?” (Martha, anyone?)
God would say, “Rest.”
Me, always wanting to get going. “What do you want me to do?”
“Rest.”
So, eventually I did. I embraced the idea of rest. I grabbed my blanket and Bible and wrapped myself in rest.
6. Get ready. Change requires us to get ready.
Really, all the above was part of that. On your mark, get set, GO!
7. God is doing a new thing. After all, that’s what change is about.
God started to reveal a new vision. It felt very much like the beginnings of the vision He’d once given me to start a home to help 4 to 6 women in a family setting. You’ll need lots of help, things beyond you. You’ll coordinate many people to help these women. It is beyond you and your individual capacity.
It didn’t make sense back then any more than this new vision God is giving me makes sense. But honestly, it gives me comfort that it doesn’t make sense. Most ideas from God seem that way at first. If it felt easy, I’d think it was my idea. Because it’s ridiculous (in the best of ways), there’s a pretty high likelihood it’s from God.
I may not have all the details exactly right, but He’s casting a vision that brings old and new together. Again, I don’t know all the particulars. I don’t know His timeline. I do know He tends to give me long-range visions, so this could be a ten year plan (or longer).
I don’t know, but I don’t need to know. He’s unfolding the details, enough to get me really excited about the future.
Remember how I’d shared earlier I was told I was going to receive a gift that would not feel like a gift?
I received the gift of rest, grieving, and intimacy with God.
Then, I received the gift of hope and a new dream. God has reassured me He didn’t take from me, but He wants to expand the vision He’d once given me. He has me doing seemingly unrelated things that will come together for more of His glory.
I opened my hands and asked Him to place all of His goodness in them because I love Him. I know He is good. I know He has good things for me, and for the people He places in my circle of influence. He will minister to my heart and He will help me minister to others. If all I ever had in life were good things, I’d never grow.
Last winter when I was planted in the soil of confusion, grief, and rest, God grew me. He’s doing a new thing. And now I’m ready to go.
How is God calling you to change?
Are you ready? On your mark, get set, go!
Oh, and don’t forget to hold your head up. You need to see where you’re going!
Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.
