Archives for November 2016

What Do I Have To Offer?

11.29.2016 by Tracy Stella //

What do I have to offer? Have you ever thought that? I have. I’ve responded to the question in several different extremes over the course of my life.

I (Tracy) have been self-deprecating as I thought: not good enough, not qualified, not a good option for God and what He has in mind. Fear and its close cousin, insecurity inhibited my ability to proceed with God’s plan. Over time, I have learned to do things afraid. I’m grateful God has taught me to do so. I don’t need to play into the enemy’s hand and sit on the sidelines watching other people do God’s will. I want to be in the game-His game where He works all things together for the good of those who love Him.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.─Romans 8:28 NIV

I’ve learned He will use me in spite of my limitations. Perhaps, He uses me more because of them. I’m miserably flawed even as I am marvelously made in His image. Without Him I’d be a hot mess. With Him I am an heir to the throne capable of all He calls me to. When I waiver in that, He is faithful to remind me.

Remember who you are. You are My daughter. I delight in you. You please Me. You don’t have to be perfect. You are being perfected by Me. You can do whatever I ask, because you can do all things I ask of you in My name. I have not set you up for failure. I may ask you to walk through the fiery furnace as I refine you, but like blown glass you are made more and more beautiful each day you rest in Me. You are moldable, conforming to Me and My will.

I’ve also taken the question to the other extreme: I’ve got this all under control. I’ll just put on my cape and come to the rescue. That response was my standard operating procedure before I knew Jesus. But even after I was saved, I fell into the trap of Tracy as savior.

Both responses are a bad idea.

God forged a different response as I considered What do I have to offer? And in my response, I get to see the growth God has brought in my life for His glory. Transformation takes time. When transformation takes hold, all that hard work is worth it.

As recently as last night when I contemplated this piece inquiring of God where He wanted to take it, He impressed on my heart two things I have to offer.

My presence
My Jesus

Little-did-I-know He would ask me to do that in a big way only moments later. Never mind I had a writing deadline a few short hours away, I was being called into action.

As I sat on the couch with a woman in desperate need of the love and healing power that can only come from Jesus, I knew this is what Jesus referred to when He told me in advance what I have to offer:

My presence
My Jesus

Exhausted, I sat and listened to hard things. It’s never comfortable listening to someone else’s pain, not knowing how to make it better. That feels impossible anyhow─making it better. Some things are beyond a kiss-it-and-make-it-feel-better-I’ll-put-a-band-aid-on-it boo boo. Some things are just bad. Some things are unexplainable, beyond my comprehension. But in sitting listening, soothing where I could, extending compassion, asking questions when appropriate, I can offer my presence. Offering silence sometimes the very best thing.

I can sit there in spite of how tired I am. I can sit there in spite of not knowing what to say much of the time, waiting expectantly for the Lord to give me the words when I am without them. My presence was the gift I could give in that moment.

Giving our presence is costly, but I know God sees it when no one else does. I know He sees the person a sacrifice is being made for. I know He sees me in all of it, and He sustains me to be able to offer my presence. Without Him, I’d melt into a big blob of glass when the heat turns up.

But my Jesus won’t let that happen. My Jesus is making glass art in me and in the one I sat next to on the couch. And into you as well. Blown glass, poked, prodded, heated, and molded into something beautiful.

When people see the fragile glass image, color streaked, obviously stretched beyond comfort yet still holding form even as it is changing form, they get to see my Jesus.

My Jesus is what really matters. When I’ve got nothing left, HE IS WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER. Empty, He pours in so I can pour out. Impossible becomes possible. Hope and healing happen where once there was only rocky soil unable for good things to take root.

The very best thing I can offer someone is My Jesus. He is the very best thing that I must always point to. He makes all the difference in a person’s healing journey. All.

I realize I might be sounding a little like the disciple John in this piece, referring to Jesus as mine. But He is. And I need Him to be.

He’s yours too, able to step into your fiery furnace and create a beautiful blown glass piece of art if you let Him. So I offer to you the best thing I have to offer: My Jesus.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

When to Say No to the Power of Fear

11.15.2016 by Kim Findlay //

This month at Facets of Faith we’re answering the question: when do we say no. Tracy and Jen have already shared their thoughts. Be sure to click on their names and check them out!

When I (Kim) was a child, there was one thing I feared most: my parents’ death. One night I’d dream my mom died, another my dad. I’d often steal into their room just to make sure they were still there, still breathing, still alive.

I’m honestly not sure where this fear began to take root. Neither of my parents battled health issues. Neither had a brush with death, nor even an extended stay in the hospital, yet those feelings of fear were as real to me as the pillow that captured my tears as I slept.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.” 1 John 4:18, NLT

It’s easy to understand when a child expresses fear. We comfort. We listen. We might try to fix it. But we also quickly learn there’s no telling an 8-year old girl that the fear she feels about losing her parents isn’t real. A child is quick to show you that the truth-telling moment doesn’t bring her comfort.

So what happens when that 8 year-old girl grows up to become a 33 year-old woman and experiences those same feelings? What would you say to her? What if that woman is you? What do you say to yourself when fear dominates and controls?

Fear, itself, is a feeling, and depending on the situation, an expected one. I felt intense fear after my daughter died from a fire that destroyed our home. My worst nightmare became my vivid reality. Even so, I remember people telling me not feel fear, not to worry. She’s safe in heaven. The fire’s over. The problem? I did feel afraid. I did worry. Telling me not to feel a certain way added shame to the weight my heart carried and began to crowd out what I knew to be true about God.

The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name.’” Psalm 91:14, NLT

That’s when I knew it was time to say no. No to fear and shame dominating my life and heaping it on top of an already smothered heart. I said no to well-intentioned people controlling my healing. I said no to staying stuck in a place of bitterness and resentment. I said no to the divisive tactics of the evil one whose singular purpose is spelled out in John 10:10 – “The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy.” No to losing sight of God’s true character.

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1, NLT

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” Psalm 91:4, NLT

I don’t know how you’re not triggered all the time.

I sat in a staff meeting with three men of integrity, men who love Jesus with all their hearts. We discussed the election, its aftermath, and some situations that are weighing heavy on our hearts.

Through the course of the conversation, two of them shared something that touched a deep wound in my heart, a sorrow God has spent the past twelve years healing.

I could’ve allowed resentment to enter in because his daughter received healing when mine didn’t. I couldn’t turned bitter and spouted the other mom whose daughter is gravely ill shouldn’t get her hopes up because death takes who it wants. I could’ve allowed my feelings to barrel over the relationships I had with these three men because I felt the hurt and pain.

But I knew better. I knew it was time to say no again. No to fear of division. No to bitterness and resentment. No to damaging relationships because of the feelings that twisted and turned inside.

Instead, I cried. I hate when that happens, especially when I’m the only female in the room. But if I’m going to say no to fear and shame, I need to say yes to something that invites vulnerability and connection.

I cried and shared the fear that churned inside my heart. They had no idea, How could they? I shared how the struggle is constant, the fear and sorrow that sometimes lurks in the background, and sometimes smacks me square in the face. I shared that there are others like me, others who walk with deep unseen wounds and how we treat people really matters. I shared and we drew closer as together we said no to fear and shame.

I don’t know what lies ahead for you, for our nation, or our world, but I do know when I’m going to say no: when fear and shame dominate my thoughts. When the destruction and havoc from our enemy runs rampant through our world and in the lives of people we know and even those we don’t. When darkness looks like it may win or hatred might have the final say.

I’m grateful my little 8 year-old self faced her fear of loss, because this 45 year-old self has the courage to say no to fear’s power over my life. And when those feelings of fear and shame rise within, I will choose to say no to them again and again and again.

This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” Psalm 91:2, NLT

What are you saying no to these days? Share below or join the conversation on our Facebook page.

Saying No: a closer look at how and when we say, “No.”

11.08.2016 by Jennifer Howe //

We wrote about saying yes last month. This month we’re taking a look at when to say no. Take a look at Tracy’s post from last week here.

I (Jennifer) received a precious tutorial from a friend, and I’ll pass it on to you:

Place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth just behind your teeth. Take a deep breath and begin to “hum” the N consonant sound. Follow that with a sustained “long O” sound. Practice the lip shape in the transition from one letter to the other: relaxed and half open to a near-puckered kiss. Try it: “N-n-n-no!”

That’s my public service tutorial for the week. I hope it’s helpful. When my beautiful friend shared this with me, I laughed. The lesson was precious, and I review it often.

What’s the point of beginning with the speech therapy part of the “No” process? If you’re like me, you might forget the word is even an option. Those who love to make others happy may forget. Those seeking to discover who they are and where their specific talents, abilities, and giftedness lie can forget. And sometimes the significance of the ask can cause us to take leave of our senses long enough that Yes completely obscures No. Have you been there?

We know how to say no, but do we know when to say it?

Competing event invitations, multiple employment opportunities (or even just one), and other commitments require a response. An unfamiliar person in the crowd obviously needs encouragement. A desperate person in financial crisis begs for help. When do we say no? I’m not sure there’s a single, easy answer.

I know I’m tempted to give a quick no when three things come into play: my comfort, my courage, or my ego-centric leanings. You, too?

The reality is my comfort zone “footprint” can be a bit small. I’m rarely the early adopter of new ideas, places, or processes. (I’ve lagged in nearly everything from social media to Thai food.) If it’s not broken, I don’t feel the need to fix it, either. My courage quotient rarely lands in the “boldly go where no man has gone before” quadrant (StarTrek, 1966).

Simply put, my reasons for offering a quick no may be knee-jerk and ego-centric in nature. I notice one thing about all of the above—it’s all about me—and I’m not proud of that. It’s easy to refuse any ask (from my Father God or a friend) when I’m all wrapped up in me, my skill set, or my comfort. It might be a confidence-competency-fear thing for some of us, and it can be for me. That’s not new. The Bible highlights the hesitations some of God’s key men and women had when He made big asks.

But Moses replied to the Lord, “Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent—either in the past or recently or since You have been speaking to Your servant—because I am slow and hesitant in speech.” Exodus 4:10 CSB

Moses presented his case for dismissal from the God-given assignment to return to Egypt and lead the nation of Israel out of slavery into their own land. I think he believed he had good reason to be replaced. But God…

The Lord said to him, “Who made the human mouth? Who makes him mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say.” Exodus 4:11-12

The Lord reminded Moses who he was and whose he was. When Moses nearly balked, He provided a companion for him: his Levite brother, Aaron, who had lived in Egyptian captivity for his whole life (vv. 14, 15). Moses accepted the assignment, but tentatively. God had a unique purpose set aside just for him.

In light of Moses’ story, I want to set new goals. I’d like to listen to requests more carefully first. An ask might come in the form of a beautiful invitation, employment opportunity, casual text, desperate cry, or a gentle nudge in my spirit. My schedule may be jam-packed or held open for any number of reasons. Still, the request deserves consideration, and I don’t want a knee-jerk no to be offered because I’m uncomfortable or afraid.

So, when can or should we say no? It seems like we should never refuse God, and then we have no idea when to say no. After all, He could want to use us in any scenario with anyone, right? Here are some thoughts as I’ve prayed about the “good no” response.

Could there be a lesson in listening? What if the leading in decisions should come from cultivated relationship? What if a bit of humility paired with lordship could infuse a no response with peace, trust, and courage?

Whatever my response, if I pause to listen, I’m making a conscious decision to hear what God has to say. Listening might look like stopping to pray, checking the boundaries expressed in Scripture, or asking a wise, trusted friend to speak into the decision. Do you know what happens when I want to know what the Lord has to say? He answers!

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

God loves to reveal Himself and tell us what He’s got in mind. We can rest in the truth of that. He will sort out His perfectly tailored asks from the ones that don’t fall in line with His good plans. That means listening often yields the right leading. Direction comes from pausing to listen, and intimate relationship is forged in that!

The third thing, humble response to His lordship, is powerful. When we are willing to follow through with the God-directed, “good no” we need to give, it’s infused with peace, trust, and courage. Over time, with practice in hearing and responding, we learn to trust the voice of God and become more confident in knowing His will. Sure, times of silence may still happen. Sometimes we may be given our own freedom to choose. But if we have taken time to listen and check for a leading, we’ve taken two great steps toward His guidance in any situation.

While there’s no guarantee we’ll never regret saying no, this process holds a lot of promise for the best chance to say no with peace. Then we learn to say no firmly in a loving tone. For me, that takes practice and a little finesse.

Thanks for reading along. I’d love to read your thoughts in the Comments below or at the Facebook page! Feel free to share your thoughts on your own blog, too, and let us know you’ve joined and continued the conversation.