Archives for May 2018

Change, Faith, and Jelly Beans

05.15.2018 by Kim Findlay //

We sat at our table in Panera to discuss life, friendship, oh . . .and Facets of Faith. We share a meal, catch up on life, and then turn our attention to what needs to be discussed for this ministry we get to do together. This particular time we were brainstorming topics for the coming spring, settling in on the month of May.

What about discussing the topic of change? Everyone faces it. The three of us nodded our heads, each thinking about the myriad of change we’ve experienced throughout our lives. One of us, probably Tracy, turned serious. You know if we write about it, we’re going to have to live it. We groaned. We knew if we said yes to this topic, chances were change was on the horizon. Little did we really know. You can check in with what Tracy and Jen shared earlier this month by clicking on their names. As for me? Well, as I often say . . .welcome to my world.

Change

As I reflect over my forty(cough) years, I can confidently say that the one constant has been change. As soon as life seemed to settle in somewhat of a predictable pattern, change would trip me up.

…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” Romans 12:2b, NLT

Most recently? A cross-country move with my still-newlywed husband and three stepkiddos. To many that may not seem like too big of a deal, but for those who know me? Yeah, it was exactly what I said I would never do.

So I thought I’d offer you a glimpse into how I processed this life-changing um, change.

Phase One: Stare

It started with a FB message asking if I knew anyone looking to for a job as a Children’s Director. The one asking? An old boss of mine. And he wasn’t just any boss, he was a favorite. The one I said I’d work for again in a heart beat.

Huh. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that because his request? It was for a job in Massachusetts a thousand miles away. I sat in my car (which may or may not have been moving) and read his message. . .over and over. I figured if I stared at it long enough, maybe it would change. The words might morph or simply disappear. But like watching those pimple-popping videos (don’t judge), I simply couldn’t look away. And before I knew it, I entered Phase Two.

Phase Two: Doubt

The funny thing was that he wasn’t asking me if I wanted the job. He was simply asking if I knew anyone looking for a job. The thing that he didn’t know that I knew that had just happened? I was leaving a retreat where I sensed God leading me to resign from my current position to get ready for whatever came next.

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9, NLT

Surely God wasn’t asking me to move to Massachusetts. Surely He knew I said I would never move away from my parents, my friends, and my youngest daughter’s grave (click here for more of that story). Surely He wasn’t asking me to do that. Not that kind of change. No, the kind of change God would ask about was comfortable and local and not requiring much risk. Right? (insert eye-roll emoji here times seven)

But then it happened . . .Phase Three.

Phase Three: Wonder

After about the ninth time reading that stinkin’ FB message, I began to wonder. Could this be? Was this it? Was this what God was preparing me for —this particular change? Only it wasn’t just a career change. It was a house change and school change and a job-for-my-husband change. It was a family change and friend change and who-the-heck-is-asking-anyway change.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

And yet I couldn’t stop the idea from rolling around. New England was pretty and it was close to my oldest daughter. The job was intriguing and so was working for this leader again. The challenge and expectations. The teamwork and iron-sharpening-iron-ing. I traveled to Massachusetts, was offered the job, and worked for a year all in a matter of minutes as I sat in my car until Phase Four knocked on the window.

Phase Four: Worry

How would moving actually work? What would happen? What about the kids? My husband? My parents? What about my friends? My time? How would we pay our bills?

Question tumbled over question in an effort to gain my attention. Every worse case scenario begged to be recognized as my heart gripped in fear.

Five more minutes passed and now I was fired and homeless because I wasn’t who I used to be. Tears blurred my vision. Was God really asking me what I think He was asking me?

Was I willing to take a risk, to not only change but to be open-handed with my future and embrace the change?

And we know that God causes everything to work together[m] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

I sat with that question for moment, suddenly longing for jelly beans and a Diet Coke —my go-to staples in stress. But then I tip-toed into Phase Five.

Phase Five: Faith

I thought about previous seasons of change where I saw evidence of God’s faithfulness. My heart began to yearn for more than a sugar buzz as I turn to the true source of hope, to the One who never changes.

I remember other seasons of change when God revealed Himself in ways that exceeded my expectations, that blew past my understanding, and ignited a holy imagination flamed only by the power of His Spirit. When I felt the breath of eternity brush against my cheek and remind me of His goodness and grace.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. “ Ephesians 3:20

I began to savor the delicacy Scripture offered. Its truth. Its hope. Story after story of God’s steadfastness and loving kindness.

As the worst-case-scenario reels began to play, I paused and gave thanks for the ways He has redeemed every broken piece of my heart and restored every broken dream of my soul.

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.” 1 Chronicles 16:8

I’ve become a stalwart of faith . . . no. Not really. There’s a reason I’m a connoisseur of jelly beans and it isn’t because my faith is strong. He is. He is my strength and my salvation, my rock to whom I cling. And every time I entered a season of change, which seems to happen all.the.time…I go in kicking and screaming but come out with a renewed picture of God’s character, a glimpse of His longing to help in times of trouble and change, and a sense that He is at work in my life through each and every season.

Fast forward a few months and here I sit in a home in Massachusetts. I said yes to the possibility of change that day in my car. Yes to trusting God with the details. Yes to following Him even when the pathway through change has been muddy and unclear. Yes to this life of adventure and obedience.

And while I may have jelly beans and a Diet Coke next to me at this moment, I realize the way I go through change is by fixing my eyes on Jesus, the true Author and finisher of my faith. Because the only way through change is, well, through. But with Him, all things are possible. Even navigating change.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” Hebrews 12:1-2a

How do you navigate change? Join the conversation by posting below or jumping over to our Facebook page. Either way, I’d love to hear from you!

Certainty in the Change

05.08.2018 by Jennifer Howe //

Hi friends, 2018 is moving fast! Soon we’ll land in summer, and spring will be the overlooked middle child in the seasons family. The change from winter to summer is muddled in Illinois. And that brings me to change, the thing my distracted brain was supposed to focus on! Don’t miss Tracy’s thoughts on going through change here. Kim shares next week. Check in Tuesdays or sign up to receive every post so you don’t miss a thang…

Body and Mind Games
I’m about that age. The math gets easy next year when my birth year and the current year end in nines. Night sweats—any-time-of-day sweats, actually—have come and gone. No one would ever guess, they say. The “metallic roots” were obvious (to me). When I stripped the boxed brown out and tinted the bleached blonde underneath to “natural grey,” I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. I got strange looks from my friends, too. I still lift heavy things in the gym. I tried Brazilian Jiu Jitsu this year, and I was reminded my brain writes checks the body won’t cash. Some changes wrack the body and mind. I’m adjusting (not so willingly).

Who Am I?
As hard as physical changes are, some changes ambush me differently. When my identity or my heart is in the change’s crosshairs, it’s a whole other kind of hard. My life was recently upended kind of like that.

I officially donned the teacher-mom hat in 2005; but really, I’ve been a teacher-mom from the beginning. Once upon a time, it was me and two active little boys in a very organized school room. The older was a learning “sponge” and a lover of books, including the dictionary. The younger was a carpe diem kind of kid, an experiential learner who kept me on my toes. The three of us pursued learning together every weekday.

I poured energy and time into lesson plans, courses, and grading. Life had a rhythm: summer’s dreams crescendoed to the fall kick-off; winter’s cabin fever gave way to spring’s finish line. The promise of exciting summer dreams fueled the late nights before the fall kick-off. Every year.

After nearly 2,100 school days, I’ve taken off the teacher-mom hat. Now that’s a big change!

My little boys grew into young men. Memories of our favorite read-alouds make me cry. (Thanks, Love You Forever and Giving Tree. *sigh*)

Lather, Rinse, Repeat
If you do a thing often enough, the repetition has an effect. As a home schooling mom, I taught. I taught often enough that I believed I was a teacher.

I teach, so I must be a teacher.

Bear with me. I think we can generalize. Try filling in the blank. I _____, so I must be a ______. The problem is, we mistakenly assume an identity in connection with whatever fills the first blank, good or bad. What happens when something changes?

Some changes are wonderful and wanted:

At one time I lied, so I was a liar.

The change was welcome:

I told the truth, so I became a truth-teller.

It gets complicated when the change is surprising, confusing, or incomplete.

I was a teacher, but now—.

Self-examination can be helpful during a big change. If I get it right, it encourages me to put words on the page and keeps me from wasting time hoping for a big break and a recording contract. It may put my unique, God-given strengths and my weaknesses to work. But I’m not the sum of what I do. I need a healthy source of identity; we all do. We need a “sane, stable, and spiritual” identity. A rational, balanced, solid, spiritual identity comes from one source, frankly: God.

It’s in relationship to God, the One who never changes, that we find an unshakable identity.

Who Are You?
When we’re at a loss for words, when we’ve forgotten who we really are, we can run to the source of truth for a solid description of our identity. Can I share some thoughts, “Word weapons” if you will, for when amnesia sets in?

So God created humankind in his own image; in the image of God he created him: male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 CJB

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, John 1:12 ESV

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:1-2 ESV

Do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV

But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you— 1 Peter 2:9 MSG

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3 CSB

I love checking myself in the scripture “mirror” rather than the one on my bathroom wall because that image looks like my Jesus. That image represents the welcome change and the help I need in the middle of change. That image isn’t tied to a day of the week, an age, or the people around me.

The verses up there are a smidge of the truth between the covers of a Bible. When I’m going through change, I’m desperate for truths like these. My hope is that we’ll choose to arm ourselves for the mental and emotional battle before we’re in the middle of it.

Let’s ask, “Who am I?” and “Whose am I?” Then answer solidly and sanely from the Source of our identity.

Thanks for reading along. Have you taken time to seek truth from the scripture “mirror” lately? Tell me about your experience. I’m curious!

How Do You Go Through Change?

05.01.2018 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to Facet’s and this month’s question: How do you go through change? We thought we’d infuse a little humor on the topic with our image selection. Sometimes, a little levity helps when change is on the horizon.

Change happens whether we want it or not. Ultimately, navigating change determines where we wind up.

If we map out our course and cooperate with God, we’ll get to where He intends much quicker. If we resist change, we get mired down in muck. Our resistance causes us to work much harder to get where we’re going. Perhaps we’ll never wind up where God meant for us to be.

Maybe we won’t completely miss our intended destination, but we’ll miss out on some of the good God desperately wants to give us.

It’s a powerful motivator─the thought of missing God’s best, because we can’t (or won’t) let go of what used to be. If He has to pry our fingers from the past, it’ll take a whole lot longer to fill our hands with the good things He desires to place in them. Each season is fresh and alive with possibility if we’ll embrace it.

Even some of the hard circumstances in life have possibility. Enduring. Getting through and crossing to the other side of that difficult time has the great reward of intimacy with the Lord if we are willing to “go there” and be real and raw and personal with Him.

On the other side we also see the strength of our spiritual muscle. What faith, perseverance, love, and hope formed in that dark time of desperate trial can do in one woman’s or man’s life. It’s part of our story. It’s part of what we share with others. It’s part of what will minister so very deeply to those who don’t yet know Jesus or have just gotten acquainted with Him. It can make people curious enough to be just the least bit receptive to the good news.

I’m speaking from personal experience. I’ve had dark times. But God’s love illuminated my life and continues to do so. We all have hard things we have to go through. None of us gets an immunization from difficulty.

How we deal with difficulty determines our destiny.

I’ve witnessed the tragedy of people not letting go of the former things, a lack of willingness to press into the new things God has for them.

A delay in receiving God’s goodness breaks my heart when I see it. I want nothing more than for the person to grab hold of God’s hand and walk with Him, stretching and growing, not screaming and kicking. I know His ways don’t always make sense to us. There have been times I’ve been completely confused myself.

That’s when I ask for Him to show me what He’s doing. Where are we going? What’s this about? I try not to ask “why”. Why doesn’t really matter much. The answer to that question isn’t going to bring me anywhere. Instead, I want to go through. So I pray. I ask for His help. I seek His comfort. I let Him minister to the broken places in my heart. I let Him renew my mind. Sometimes, my thoughts need changing, reshaping. The things I once thought so certain, God shows me otherwise. He softens my heart. He shows me things through His Word and every day people who He is and how much He loves me─always, but especially when circumstances make it appear and feel otherwise.

Those are some of the sweetest, more pure moments between me and God. Tears slip down my cheek, not in sadness but due to His sweetness as He comforts me in a way only He can.

When I see people unwilling to let go of what was and go through change with God’s help, I want to say, “Just cooperate. It’ll be okay! Let go of those old, false beliefs. Lean in. Listen. Let Him help you! He will! Stop fighting! Relax in His loving arms. There’s peace there. Comfort. Adventure and bliss. Yes, life is a battle. Sometimes it’s hard. When it is, let Him help. Let Him help. Let Him help. Let Him help.”

Victim mentality doesn’t bring victory. The blood of Jesus does.

The alternative to walking with God through change? People become jaded. Bitter. Scars jagged, rough to the touch. Maybe can’t be touched. Like a porcupine, prickly so people start avoiding you. It might make you feel safe, but it’s a prison really. A prison of personal pain that doesn’t have to be. We have choice. We can choose to embrace change. Like a little girl who can’t get pried from her daddy’s arms after a nightmare, cling to the process of change. One day you’ll be surprised to wake up and find the nightmare has ended. Sun streams in the bedroom window, light pure as the white sheers letting in the sun’s rays. Dreams good. Hopeful. And dare I say, happy.

In God’s love, mercy and grace, I wake up to those sun rays warming my face and wonder how did I get here to this good, hopeful, dare I say happy place? Change. Some big. Some gradual. All of it good, because God worked it to be that way.

It’s so over-used, but I don’t even care. It feels appropriate. When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade.

Before you think, you just don’t understand what I’ve been through. Maybe you are right. Maybe I don’t. But Jesus does! I do know I’ve had some lemons tossed my way, and with God’s help we’re making lemonade.

One of those lemons happened late last year. I was so confused as to what God was doing. I couldn’t see how losing a job I loved so much, that felt like I was fulfilling the very reason I was placed on this planet, could ever be good. It was a passion. I was helping women. And, in fact, it was the fulfillment of a vision He’d given me years before. I felt like He’d plunked me there for “such a time as this”. It was a rich season with Him. He was so very present, almost palpable.

Poof! It was gone!

It took a moment to catch my breath. I felt like I’d been pushed out a three-story building and landed hard on my back. Not dead, but the wind knocked out of me.

Whether it was God or satan who removed me from that place, I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter. What does matter is what lies ahead.

Even how we deal with change changes. The one constant if we are going to change well is to change with God. The other details don’t always stay the same. I say that because I’m about to share how God helped me through that time at a relatively fast pace (which is DEFINITELY one of the advantages of cooperating with God sooner rather than later). The more quickly I can get to a place to settle down and hear from God, the faster I can get through those difficult times. And since I don’t like pain, I have a high motivation to get a move on!

1. God comforted me in advance of the change.

If you are in a difficult season, look for how God was showing up in advance of it. Journals are a great source. Reflect on what God was saying or doing before the bottom fell out. What conversations did you have with others in the days and weeks preceding? Look for the clues where Christ was preparing your heart and mind ahead of time.

I was told I was going to receive a gift that would not feel like a gift. (More later about how this loss became─and is becoming─a gift.)

2. God told me to grieve and to reveal His glory through it even as I did.

You see, it’s okay to be sad sometimes. I WAS sad. I had poured my heart and soul into launching the ministry. I knew God was using me to bring deeply traumatized women into places of healing, helping them meet and experience God each day. I knew He’d used me to set up processes, hire and train employees, and just when things were about to be a little easier because all those things were in place, I wouldn’t get to experience the fruits from all that labor. And I wondered how it could happen when God had given me the vision.

I cried a gallon of tears. But I never gave up hope.

Honestly, in the past, it was NOT GRIEVING that used to get me in a whole heap of trouble. Before I was a believer, I’d sweep things under the rug. The only problem with that is sometimes the rug moves and the pain and problems not dealt with are revealed no matter how much we want to hide from them. Better to deal with problems in season.

3. Pray and worship.

Along with my grieving, I prayed. A lot. I listened to worship music incessantly. I couldn’t get enough. As I journaled and processed my pain, God ministered to my soul. If I felt like I was submitting to depression, I’d sing. And sing. And sing. My singing submission to God, knowing He’d see my worship as a sacrifice bringing forth a fragrant aroma. He knows it’s hard to worship when we don’t understand. It’s what makes our worship even sweeter to Him. It’s also what saved me from a spiral of defeat while I was waiting for Him to reveal what was next.

4. Slap shame in the face.

I know that sounds harsh, but so is shame. Don’t take it. Permission to fight back with the truth! Pull out promises and smack the enemy with the truth about who you are and whose you are!

Sometimes, the things we are changing from and through require us to deal with shame. You see, the enemy wanted to bury me with shame and embarrassment. (Even in the writing of this post, he didn’t want me to be real and share, to be vulnerable about what could have been very shameful.)

Again, in God’s goodness, He kept playing a song for me — especially before a couple of significant meetings. I couldn’t escape the song Lions by Skillet. Every time I heard it, it was as if God was saying to me, “Hold your head up. You did nothing wrong. I have something new for you. Be brave little lion.”

Part of what He was doing was redeeming a situation from the past. He was showing me how much I’d grown by walking with Him. While the situation made me sad, it didn’t devastate me. Even something as significant as “losing” what I felt was my calling, couldn’t destroy me or my spirit. That was different from the past. He was showing me I knew and know who I am. His. I am His.

5. Change takes stamina. Sometimes we need to rest before we can run a new race.

God wouldn’t let me move forward until I got some rest. I didn’t realize how exhausted I truly was until I was given the chance to rest. If you know me, you know rest isn’t an easy word for me to embrace. I like to do. To move. To accomplish awesome things with and for God. But if my tank is empty, I’ll go nowhere fast. That’s for all of us. We all need refueling.

I had just left an intense time of ministry that had left me emotionally drained. Working with trauma survivors is no easy task (and without God’s grace – impossible!)

Not only was I emotionally drained, I had spiritual scars. I knew to expect spiritual attack stepping into a ministry that pierced the darkness of human trafficking. Even expecting it, I underestimated it. The battles were intense. Most mornings I was up at 4 or 4:30 praying, spiritually girding myself for the day ahead. It was necessary for my spiritual survival.

Being on guard at that level of intensity, engaging in emotional trauma work which is far more tiring than a vigorous workout, left me limp and exhausted.

Every time I’d ask God, “What do you want me to do?” (Martha, anyone?)

God would say, “Rest.”

Me, always wanting to get going. “What do you want me to do?”

“Rest.”

So, eventually I did. I embraced the idea of rest. I grabbed my blanket and Bible and wrapped myself in rest.

6. Get ready. Change requires us to get ready.

Really, all the above was part of that. On your mark, get set, GO!

7. God is doing a new thing. After all, that’s what change is about.

God started to reveal a new vision. It felt very much like the beginnings of the vision He’d once given me to start a home to help 4 to 6 women in a family setting. You’ll need lots of help, things beyond you. You’ll coordinate many people to help these women. It is beyond you and your individual capacity.

It didn’t make sense back then any more than this new vision God is giving me makes sense. But honestly, it gives me comfort that it doesn’t make sense. Most ideas from God seem that way at first. If it felt easy, I’d think it was my idea. Because it’s ridiculous (in the best of ways), there’s a pretty high likelihood it’s from God.

I may not have all the details exactly right, but He’s casting a vision that brings old and new together. Again, I don’t know all the particulars. I don’t know His timeline. I do know He tends to give me long-range visions, so this could be a ten year plan (or longer).

I don’t know, but I don’t need to know. He’s unfolding the details, enough to get me really excited about the future.

Remember how I’d shared earlier I was told I was going to receive a gift that would not feel like a gift?

I received the gift of rest, grieving, and intimacy with God.

Then, I received the gift of hope and a new dream. God has reassured me He didn’t take from me, but He wants to expand the vision He’d once given me. He has me doing seemingly unrelated things that will come together for more of His glory.

I opened my hands and asked Him to place all of His goodness in them because I love Him. I know He is good. I know He has good things for me, and for the people He places in my circle of influence. He will minister to my heart and He will help me minister to others. If all I ever had in life were good things, I’d never grow.

Last winter when I was planted in the soil of confusion, grief, and rest, God grew me. He’s doing a new thing. And now I’m ready to go.

How is God calling you to change?

Are you ready? On your mark, get set, go!

Oh, and don’t forget to hold your head up. You need to see where you’re going!

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