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Who Do You Love? Me, Myself, and Mine?

02.13.2018 by Jennifer Howe //

Hello, friends! Welcome back to FACETS this week. I (Jennifer) hope you enjoy following along with February’s topic: Who Do You Love? It’s been a bittersweet journey for me, as you’ll see, but don’t miss Tracy’s thoughts here or Kim’s next week. This promises to be a thought-provoking topic, but share your thoughts on that, and we’ll know for sure.

I have a confession. I asked myself, “Who do you love, Jen?” The answer wasn’t pretty. An honest response to that question required examination of my words, emotions, efforts, time, and talent. The soul-searching led me down a road I wasn’t sure I wanted to take, but it was worth every step. Take a peek. You might find your own brand of “brave” to take a few steps.

For people will be lovers of self… 2 Timothy 3:2a

Once upon a time I perceived my life and heart all wrong. I’m a wife, mom, teacher, friend, daughter, sister, and aunt. (Those are the roles I think of in a few seconds.) In a sense we’re defined by our relationships, aren’t we? Each relationship has its unique inner workings, expectations, and give and take. When I looked at my close relationships, I saw the “give and take” in each one, but zeroed in on the big, ol’ GIVE for some reason. I was ashamed when I realized why.

Sadly, I mistook something ugly for selflessness and sacrifice. Sacrificial love and giving in relationship has a grotesque caricature, and it looks like my own face, but green with envy, a pouty lip nearly hiding my chin, with a “martyr complex-ion.” Know what I mean? *Sigh* Who wants to own that truth? No one I know.

The first steps on this road were difficult. The truth can hurt.

How do I know I loved myself? Others weren’t excluded from my thoughts by any means. It was in those relationships that I saw the self-love playing out. My words could be focused on me, my life, and my needs. My emotions could be bigger than they should when I was on the wrong side of a conversation or situation. My efforts could be laser-focused on my interests, projects, or in my defense. My time could be used to serve my own needs, and self-care could be the thing I fought for daily. Sadly, my talents seemed to be working as a conduit for personal goals.

I notice that when I am hyper-focused on me and my life, I’m left to evaluate all of it by others’ lives. It’s ridiculously easy to fall in love with the best of what I see and hope to have. Beautiful inspiration starts as “Someday I’ll…” but translates to “I want it now-w-w-w-w-w!” Envy and selfishness distort everything, except motive and means.

I don’t think selfishness was in everything when I looked closely, but my face was at risk. I could take on the envy and selfishness, that ugly caricature, like Dorian Gray. My heart and mind could become more and more preoccupied with me. Or I could choose something else…

It didn’t take long to find what God says about the problem I might face everyday.

For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. James 3:16

I see two challenges for me there. The first is in placing myself at the top of my priorities list. The second is using others as a measuring stick for life. There’s a breeding ground for “every kind of evil.” If I love me first, I have to assume that I “hate” others in comparison. (That includes God and everybody, really.) Ouch! I can speak from experience. Envy and selfishness do nothing for relationships; they ruin everything faster than you can say, “Me, myself, and mine!”

Then I landed on something I couldn’t ignore. Galatians 5 contained a long list of “works of the flesh” which were “obvious” (vv. 19-21). You only get one guess. What do you think was included in that list? Yup, envy and selfishness.

Two things I want to remember about that passage:

• “Works of the flesh” are the things (efforts) dead set against God.
• People who indulge in the list “will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Does that mean if I know Jesus and His peace, I can be disqualified from the promise of love made at the cross? No, the covenant promise isn’t fragile or fickle. If I intend to continue to indulge life patterns described by that list, there is something insidious at work. Ultimately, I love me, my survival, and my preferences more than I love the One who died to free me from my life of sin.

And that’s when I heard my own voice in my head: Now, there’s you’re problem!

I dropped the next question on the doorstep of the One who could handle it: God, I can be so selfish! What am I gonna do?

If you read my post last month (on God’s promises), you know who we can count on: Jesus and Holy Spirit. The deepest part of my soul found comfort in the verses that followed the “list.”

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit. We must not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 5:22-26

Do you see what I see there? An antidote to envy and selfishness leaps off the page. I see love and various displays of love following. In my mind, there is love, and the rest follows. (Some translations punctuate that way.) Because Jesus sacrificed so much to be in relationship with me, I live lovingly toward others out of His love for me. And I do that because I can? No, I do it because the Holy Spirit is in me to make it possible. I say “Yes!” to Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and I say “No!” to envy and selfishness.

That’s the “intellectual ground” covered, but that is not how faith works. Faith knows God’s way, aware it’s impossible to do alone, and takes steps with Him. For me, that looks a like praying for new desires more like His and the strength to choose them. And it looks like seeing other people and loving them well. (I struggle in my busyness or obliviousness every day.) Sure, I’ll take care of my own self appropriately, but I hope to stop placing myself higher in the priority list than I ought.

It’s going to be a bit of a fight. As I said, I can be selfish.

Do you share this struggle? Where might you begin your journey toward selflessness? If you walk the road I’ve traveled—I won’t lie—it might be hard, but you may find beauty in the destination, too.

Signature, Jennifer Howe

 

 

 

 

 

Categories // Friendship, Jennifer Howe's Perspective, Who Do You Love? Tags // 2 Timothy 3:2, Facets of Faith, Friendship, Galatians 5:22, God's love, James 3:16, Love, Relationships, Selfishness, Selflessness

“God, You Promised!”

01.09.2018 by Jennifer Howe //

Welcome to Facets, friend. This is my (Jennifer) favorite virtual hidey hole for a steamy hot cuppa, a few thoughts, and engaging conversation, if you like. We’ve put away 2017, and now the ink falls to a fresh page in 2018. Last week Tracy shared her thoughts on God’s promises here (you won’t want to miss it!). Kim’s post next week will, as always, reveal her precious heart. Pop in Tuesdays for new posts, or better yet, be sure to sign up to receive the latest in your inbox each week!


When I turned this month’s question over in my mind, I realized I had other questions immediately trying to dog-pile the poor thing. Do I believe God’s promises? Yes! Wait. I think so. God, what are your promises? When did I last take a look at those? Which ones can I recall? And which ones are for me? Ideas I thought were biblical floated through my mind, but confusion settled in. Partial verses swirled around like frosty breath in sub-zero air in a winter wonderland. My own personal revised version of scripture mixed with actual verses, and that’s when I needed to pause.

I thought about creating a list of God’s promises, but that didn’t seem right. Would you—or anyone—take my word that the list was worth anything or true at all? Should you? Probably not.

A Promise…
I know a promise’s value and worth lies somewhere within the promise itself. Some are better than others. As Mary Poppins would say, “That’s a pie crust promise. Easily made, easily broken.”¹ When we look at the Bible, some are for specific people in time, some reveal the nature of God to us, and some are for us today. More importantly, I know a promise is nearly completely dependent upon the one making it! When someone speaks a promise but never makes good on it, we question their integrity or sanity (or both).

But these aren’t ordinary promises; they are God’s.

A Promise Maker…and Keeper!
For me to trust any of God’s promises, I needed to see His true character. If even one promise was broken, then placing trust in any of them would be foolish. If God is even a little wishy-washy, I don’t want to trust Him. Period. Who would? Maybe the whole list would be full of half-truths or bait-and-switch moves, right? So what does the Bible say?

Joshua, who experienced the leadership of Moses, up-close-and-personal, testifies to the promises of God:

Not one good thing that ADONAI had spoken of to the household of Isra’el failed to happen; it all took place. Joshua 21:45 CJB

“Not one good thing.” Every one of the promises was fulfilled. Joshua would know (Numbers 11:28).

God was truthful in in Moses’ time, but what about now? Are the promises for a group of people in a land far away who are long dead and gone?

I’m thankful Paul writes

20 For however many promises God has made, they all find their “Yes” in connection with him; that is why it is through him that we say the “Amen” when we give glory to God. 21 Moreover, it is God who sets both us and you in firm union with the Messiah; he has anointed us, 22 put his seal on us, and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee for the future. 2 Corinthians 1:20-22

God’s foundational promise to us was made on a hill outside Jerusalem on an execution stake. Jesus, the God-man, at the cross is our covenant with God fulfilled (Hebrews 2:17). Then He promised those who love Jesus a “seal…a guarantee for the future,” Holy Spirit in us. From Genesis to Revelation, the story is all about one promise: redemption. Ultimately, He promised to come for us, and He did. This world, as messed up and distorted as it is, is part of the deal, but it’s not the end. There’s more, and the Redeemer waits for us to choose Him, to ask Him to intervene. The promise of redemption is real and for everyone. Better yet, we can be sure it was made to us and kept!

B-b-b-but, God…

God makes and keeps promises. In faith on a good day, I can believe that. But I’m human and faith-challenged sometimes. Often I have a lot in common with “doubting Thomas” and the desperate father of the boy controlled by a spirit (John 20; Mark 9).

“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

How would I, or anyone watching, know I believe His promises? I answer that question differently today than in the past. I thought listening to and repeating truth equaled belief. Truth informs belief, but believing God’s promises is more than that. Trusting the words I read to be true begins to get at it. Living like it’s true—thinking, speaking, and acting according to the belief—that’s when believing the promises has legs!

When I look at the promises I want to remember:

* God’s promises are written down in the Bible.
* God’s character is revealed in the promises He makes and keeps.
* His promises to me show His love for me.

I’ve been on the hunt for some of God’s individual promises (in addition to the foundational two: the cross and the Spirit). Some are what I might call gifts, or “blanket promises.”

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a CSB

I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6 CSB

Grace and the good work are His to give and do.

Then there are promises I participate in. These are my favorites because they speak to the relationship with Him that I desperately need…and need to cultivate.

All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. Matthew 11:29 CSB

When I choose to learn God’s ways and do them, as Jesus teaches and the Spirit empowers, there is the promise of rest. As one who often strives for so many things, including perfection, this promise means more to me than so many others.

Friends, I wish I could sit across the table from you at my coffee shop hidey hole and listen to all your thoughts on God and His promises…the best and most difficult…your heart on all of it. Since we may not get the chance, I’d be thankful if you took time to share what you’re thinking in the comments below, at the Facebook Page, or privately. Your thoughts, experiences, and heart are precious, and I hope you know that.

Thanks for reading!

 

Signature, Jennifer Howe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

¹ Mary Poppins. Walt Disney Productions, 1964.

Categories // Do You Believe God?, Faith, Jennifer Howe's Perspective Tags // 2 Corinthians 12:9, 2 Corinthians 1:20-22, Believing God, Facets of Faith, Faith, God's Promises, Joshua 21:45, Mark 9:24, Matthew 11:29, Philippians 1:6, trusting God

Do You See What I See? God’s Love

12.12.2017 by Jennifer Howe //

Welcome, friend! We’re so glad you stopped in during the busy holiday season! Last week Tracy began our conversation topic HERE. You won’t want to miss the next two weeks, either. Kim will be sharing her thoughts next, and then we have our guest, Tammy Chapman, who we know you’ll love the following week! Don’t miss the new posts each Tuesday.

Beautiful, beautiful Christmas! I (Jennifer) love the beauty in December. I’m a white-lights-and-matching-ornaments kinda gal, and I love our artificial tree. (I’m either saving a tree or sparing myself the aftermath when gravity wins the pine needle battle.) As magical as the season seems to be with the hustle and bustle in chilly weather, frosty street scenes described in carols, decked out windows, and the anticipation of what’s beneath the pretty gift wrap. By now, many of those lovely things can be a distraction to my seasonally overwhelmed soul. So I fight for my peace when we usually celebrate the advent of the Prince of Peace. Ironic? Yeah, I think so.

I’ve been thinking about this month’s question for weeks now. The inspiration for my response has ebbed and flowed (and even flowed right off my hard drive when my laptop crashed one night).

How do I see God? And do you see what I see?

God is love. 1 John 4:8b

Close friends and many readers know some of my personal story. Like all of us, there’s a highlight reel and low lights thrown in for “color” or something, right? When we’re honest, each of us lives life with some desire just outside our grasp; it’s only natural in this world. I always wanted the strong, friendly, perfect daddy my friend showed in every scene of her highlight reel. That was before I knew human daddies were most definitely human.

“But God…”

Almighty God, the Creator of the universe, the Daddy-God who deeply loves us is completely other, isn’t He? His love is free of all limits—not bound by time, culture, or gender. God the Father sent His Son, Jesus, for all of us, and He is who we celebrate this time of year (regardless of the actual birth date). And I love that! The God of the universe loved us so much the Son chose to set aside His heavenly existence and deity for just a while. For me and for you!

But what does that mean?

It means that in a quiet, little town called Bethlehem everything in two realms changed in an instant. The perfect heavenly realm moved and opened the door to the harsh, broken, earthly one. The Almighty, our heavenly Father, answered the deepest need humanity had: reconciliation with Holy God. In Jesus—every desperate need, every faint hope, every terrible fear—answered.

My greatest fears are some tangle of knowing and being known, loving and being loved. And my heavenly Father answers every need and hope and fear perfectly. This Christmas I am finding my peace in Daddy-God’s gift of Jesus—

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” ― Timothy J. Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

And that introduces my very favorite Christmas carol this year: O Little Town of Bethlehem.

O little town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting Light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight (O Little Town of Bethlehem, v. 1. Brooks and Redner, 1868)

The Son who would introduce Himself as the Bread of Life was born in the little town named House of Bread (John 6:33-35). Why? To bring life to the world! The hope for something better than this world? Met in Jesus. The fear of sadness, weakness, loneliness, and even death? Met. The fear of being left out of a life with God somehow? Met.

I suppose that reminds me of a twist on an old Latin phrase: He came. He saw. He conquered. But not in the traditional way…

How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of His heaven.
No ear may hear His coming,
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him still,
The dear Christ enters in. (O Little Town of Bethlehem, v. 3.)

How does He conquer? Jesus comes to that quiet, little town when no one expects Him. His life opens the door to a beautiful, precious, intimate relationship with the Father. Heaven opened with this advent. Relationship was yet to be fully restored and the enemy’s plans completely dashed at the cross, but the new covenant was established and real and happening for the whole earth! That’s me, and that’s you! And “where meek souls will receive him…Christ enters in.” I am thankful our humble ask receives the beautiful, permanent “Yes, I’ll be with you now and forever” response from the humble King.

O holy Child of Bethlehem
Descend to us, we pray
Cast out our sin and enter in
Be born to us today
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell
O come to us, abide with us
Our Lord Emmanuel (O Little Town of Bethlehem, v. 4.)

Friend, the God of heaven really is love!

“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. Anyone who believes in Him is not condemned, but anyone who does not believe is already condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the One and Only Son of God. John 3:16-18

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

Do you see what I see? I’d love to hear more about your personal perspective. If you’re brave enough to share, I’d love to listen.

Thank you for reading, friend! I am grateful for you. I wish you and those close to you peace in the holiday season. Mostly, I wish you to feel the amazing love of Almighty God, your Daddy-God.

Signature, Jennifer Howe

Categories // Do You See What I See, Faith, Jennifer Howe's Perspective Tags // Christmas, Facets of Faith, Faith, God's love, Jennifer J Howe, Jesus, Love

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