Jennifer Howe, Author at Facets of Faith

Briefly: The Perspective Shift

06.01.2016 by Jennifer Howe //

By now you may have noticed a change in our posting schedule. As a surprise, we’re sharing a bit of a recap and additional thoughts on the topic this week. Let us know what you think.

The question is—how does God change our perspective on ourselves? This hasn’t been a difficult concept for me. The simplistic answer is: truth. When our perspective is poisoned by half-truths and lies, the antidote is careful, intentional infusion of a truer perspective than the one we hold. Where does that come from?

When I question my core beliefs about myself, it’s healthy to take a look through someone else’s eyes. This is the time to dig into the Bible to find out what God has to say about me. Or, it’s time to find a good friend who is willing to sit down and share truth over a cup of joe. Have you found the same solutions to your own needed perspective shift?

Here’s a biblical perspective, in case you need it as much as I do…

Invite God into your conversations:

For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there among them.” Matthew 18:20

Ask him what he has to say—then remember how loved you are:

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10

Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you about your identity.
His words will be consistent with the truth of the Bible, so check what you hear against that.

I hope this has been helpful. Have you begun the process of your own personal perspective shift yet? Let us know how it’s going!

If you need the link to my first post, it’s here.

How has God Changed Your Perspective on…Yourself?

05.10.2016 by Jennifer Howe //

May’s question at FACETS comes for me (Jennifer) at the perfect time: How has God changed your perspective about yourself? I’ve recently spent extended time in reflection and self-evaluation. I recommend we all take that kind of precious quiet time to answer this question. Are you up for it? (I hope you are! And I hope you share links to your own reflections in the comments if you put them out there for the world to see.)

It’s incredibly difficult to escape my own perspective. I know I’d answer this question differently in each age and stage of life, and the responses would be flavored with the season I was steeping in. Or—maybe I can see more clearly for just a pair of minutes. How is that possible? (I’m pretty sure we’ve all got to get out of our own heads in order for it to happen.)

My first thoughts swirl through my mind. My initial perspective was that I hadn’t changed much, at least not in the ways I’d hoped or thought. Not all the bad habits were broken. Not all the good ones stuck. In a bad moment, I might wonder what “new creation in Christ” really means. When my mind goes there, I’m halfway home. To see things clearly, I need to find truth in the Scriptures!

So then, if anyone is in Christ, that person is part of the new creation. The old things have gone away, and look, new things have arrived! 2 Corinthians 5:17 CJB

This translation helped clarify expectations. Somehow I thought I should be something of an Extreme Makeover (God edition). When my perspective required God to deliver on my perceived promises with a magic wand, there was bound to be trouble! Suddenly, there was a broken deal. There wasn’t some kind of “new Jen” from what I could see.

But look! I am “part of the new creation,” and I believe “the old things” and “new things” are laid out for me to discover in God’s truthful Word. That simply means the ultimate truth, the ultimate authority in life, is the truth from my Abba’s lips! (From his heart to the page to my mind and heart!) I begin with truth and add one thing more.

You may know I have written in my little corner of the Blogosphere at Fragrant Grace. There has always been irony in the name (I can’t smell scents very keenly, and I have always wrestled with black-white, not-so-gracious thoughts, words, and actions). When I took a deeper look at my perspective on myself, grace was the beautiful, bold-italic font the truth was written in. When I scrawled my own “truths” about me in my own handwriting, the problem was obvious: I vandalized God’s words with my own (minimizing or eliminating his truth and grace).

So, now you might be a little curious. What exactly did I hear during my time in the Word, from precious others, and from the Holy Spirit?

The whispers of my Father…

You are strong. Surviving everyday life sometimes requires endurance and a little muscle. The good, the bad, and the “Oh, my goodness!” moments in life change you. When you submit it all to Me, then I grant the strength you need. Remember “I lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD” (Psalm 121:1-2 NIV).

Your eyes are special. You see beauty where others don’t; you see beauty in the broken things. Beauty is actually woven into the “fabric” of Jen (creative graphics, drawings, and even your penmanship). You were created to see and unveil the beauty Abba has created. Isaiah 61:1-3 is real. Here or hereafter, there will be beauty!

You think. Continually. Sometimes you do that well, and when you do, that reflects the beautiful mind of God who knit you together before you had a single thought to think. When you taught Introductory Logic this year, you learned that “not all” means “some.” Some of the habits have changed. Some of the habits have stuck. That’s grace, baby!

Your yeses have often yielded amazing opportunities! When you see something I am doing (and participate in that), incredible things happen. You have learned to say YES! Years ago you gave more nos to protect yourself, your time, and your resources. You now look to see what the Spirit may be doing and what he may be saying. You’re learning to pause and try to find the yeses—the things I prepared for you.

And then the truth of the Bible speaks…

[Y]ou are precious and honored in my sight, and…I love you… Isaiah 43:4

Psalm 139 (Reminds me of how intimately he knows me, and how much he loves me!)

He wiped away the bill of charges against us. Because of the regulations, it stood as a testimony against us; but he removed it by nailing it to the execution-stake.
Colossians 2:14 CJB

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

It’s really true, and there is enough grace…

(There’s the perspective shift!)

I am made (“fearfully and wonderfully,” as Psalm 139:14 says) to love and be loved, to see and unveil beauty, and to find the yeses that will respond to what God is doing and saying in the everyday moments in life.

Stepping back, getting quiet, and reading the truth was the beginning of changing my perspective. Pausing and listening to others and the voice of the Spirit was the beginning of the grace infusion I desperately needed. The process has been an amazing experience. And the words have the significant weight of truth and the beauty of grace.

TRUTH and Grace.

And I can see me with fresh perspective.

Thanks for reading along, friends!

Why not answer the question, too—How has God changed your perspective on yourself? Share in the comments below or at our Facebook Page.

Scripture sourced from www.biblestudytools.com.

Friendship: The Road to Deep Connection

04.12.2016 by Jennifer Howe //

One of my growth areas has been friendship. I (Jennifer) have fond memories including my friends, and I remember my first friend, the next-door neighbor.

I experienced warm feelings associated with friend relationships first. Friendship meant waiting at the bus stop, making summer “dandelion butter,” and riding bikes on quiet streets. I eventually used “best friend” and “friends forever” in conversation and yearbooks. (The next gen shortened those to “BFF.”)

Then there were conflicts. I remember a pair of black-and-white saddle shoes bruising my shins a time or two. Sometimes there were harsh words, “Go home! I don’t want to play with you anymore,” or “I’ll never talk to you again!” The silent treatment could last hours, days, or longer. Honestly, that was the most painful—the break in friend relationship without resolution.

Friendships aren’t simple. In our transient culture they feel seasonal. The best ones are established and freely pick up where they left off at any time. A few are constant, face-to-face, and weather all kinds of storms. Some relationships are fun, and some are functional. Misunderstandings and meltdowns are givens.

Friends are often my relational teachers. My perspective on friendship has been shaped by people who have been willing to hang with me through all sorts of situations—and there have been plenty of situations!

May I share some relational gems I’ve gathered and then let you in on a little secret about a couple of my favorite friends?

Connecting
People connect in various ways: events, preferences, shared knowledge or experiences. An initial connection might look like—

“I like music.”
“So do I! I really like U2—”
“I love U2! Did you catch Bono’s 30-second drumming video? Hilarious!”

I’ve begun friendships over interests, and you have, too. It’s fun when favorite things are shared, but the diversity of my hobbies would land me in a room full of people with little connection. Some of that is expected; it can feel oddly disjointed. I’ve found deeper, beyond-acquaintance friendships have something more significant than a hobby at the center.

Sharing
A friend taught me something like “pairing the sharing” (though I lean toward adding “paring the sharing”). In the beginning, sharing might look like this—

“I’m the oldest of three. I have two brothers.”
“I don’t have any brothers, but I do have three sisters.”

Sharing is paired over the topic, siblings, and no one dominates. Compare that to—

“I have three sisters.”
“I have two brothers, and they were horrible little beasts! They tortured me every chance they got. Let me tell you about the wiffle bat incident and the blood involved…”

Awkward.

I like to try matching the conversation topic and depth (pairing) and keeping remarks brief at first (paring down details). That’s a great way to test relational waters!

Caring
Good friendship maintains “other focus.” A temptation in conversation is to fill uncomfortable silence. Have you listened with the sole intent of responding? That’s not genuine listening; it’s hearing with the goal of injecting yourself into the conversation. (This is my growth area.) A caring attitude values others (Philippians 2:3).

Care by offering your full attention. Listen well. Electronic interruptions can wait. Your “I know! That happened to me, too, when—” stories can wait. Even your best ideas and solutions can wait. Listening with your whole self can be hard, but your friend is worth it!

Daring to be Different
As many connections as we might make, remember: we are separate, distinct individuals. Common interests, preferences, or experiences should not suggest we relate in unhealthy ways. (This can be tricky!)

Any relationship has the potential to encourage in different ways, but no one gets to live rent-free in anyone’s head or pull the puppet strings in our lives. Not only is separation expected, it’s necessary!

It’s good to discover areas of difference. If we press into the differences, perspectives can be challenged, shaped, and grown. We can learn from those who are different from us, and that can be beautiful in healthy relationships.

Hanging in There
Miscommunication, mistakes, and offenses happen. When it gets tough, try not to abandon the friendship. Instead—

Pause communication (Gently indicate need for a pause.)

Breathe (Insert prayer here.)

Look for your responsibility (It’s better this way!)

Reconcile, if possible (Reconciliation is important to God!)

So what does this look like in real life? It looks like the FACETS Team. We connected in writing and faith. We began to care about each other when life stories were shared, but we committed to caring for the long haul. We recognize differences, and we’re learning to love—and leverage—them for our collective growth.

When we gather for dinner or to work together, we practice listening with our whole selves. We look and listen for clues to others’ needs (sometimes an awkward dance between personal relationship and productivity). It’s possible to inadvertently tap dance on someone’s toes, and then we lean in, rather than back away.

I love these ladies! We are committed to one another first, and we’d sacrifice a little productivity for one of our hearts. In a heartbeat! The friendships are more precious than the project, even though the project deepened the relationships.

Friendship means we are for one another and we get to write together.

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I’d love to hear your thoughts on friendship! Share them in the comments below, on the Facebook page, or on Twitter. Don’t forget to share us with a friend!