Kim Findlay, Author at Facets of Faith

Finding Fun When Your Heart is Weary

06.23.2018 by Kim Findlay //

Welcome to Facets of Faith! Each week we release a new post on Tuesday exploring a specific question from three or four points of view. You can catch what Tracy and Jen shared by clicking on their names.

This month we’re exploring fun and, quite honestly, I almost skipped it. This question has dodged me for a couple of weeks now. All I have are some thoughts jotted down in my notebook .

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” Proverbs 17:22

Perhaps you’re wondering, like me, what’s so difficult about answering this month’s question: what do I do for fun? That’s exactly what I’ve been wrestling with — why is this proving to be so difficult? I’ve written a profile for a dating website before, so surely I have my “fun factor” figured out (true story, by the way).

I thought about making a simple list of the fun things I enjoy doing. Activities like bike riding and jewelry making, hiking and taking pictures . . . all to encourage you to think about what you enjoy doing, too.

Then I thought about sharing a story from my childhood and crafting the lesson in a way to highlight why fun is so important.

But nothing stuck. Nothing, that is, except the truth. So here it is . . .

I am weary, O God; I am weary and worn out, O God.” Proverbs 30:1b, NLT

How I really feel

I’m exhausted. I think change and a cross-country move and life have caught up to me and smacked me upside the head. Add on top of that the conflict our country has engaged in over uniting families and this tender heart, mercy-loving, empath is about done. The mere thought of fun right now? Ugh. I don’t even know how to finish that thought.

I thought about sharing why I’m so weary, but some of what’s happening isn’t ready to be shared and, honestly, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. For as tired as I feel, I still see God’s goodness all around. His provision. His sustaining grace. His love and mercy. His kindness.

I’m trying to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, yet here I am, ready to skip answering this month’s question because, well, life.

How about you

Can you relate? Do you read Scripture or hear a message and know, deep in your soul, what you’re supposed to do? But then when it comes to actually doing what you’ve learned, you just seem to fall short?

Okay. Good. Now we know we’re not alone.

Here’s the thing —even though we may think we’re unable to do what we’ve learned, the truth is we’re not alone. We have the Helper, the Holy Spirit who leads and guides and prompts and strengthens. He gives us courage to embrace the undoable, the difficult, the thing that we fear most.

For me, right now? It’s not only answering this month’s questions, it’s to realize the value in making space for laughter, for brevity . . . finding fun when my heart is weary.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10, NLT

Here we go

So here’s my answer —unfiltered and possibly a bit unspiritual, but completely authentic.

What do I do for fun? It honestly depends on the day. Some days fun is vegging out in front of the TV, binge-watching some adventure show the whisks me away. Shows like The Flash, Supergirl, or the Closer.

Sometimes fun looks like power-shopping for clothes for our ever-growing kids or sauntering through a second-hand shop or antique store where I hunt for treasure from years past.

There are days when I need space to rest my mind and soul and simply not think —to escape the troubles of this world by diving into a compelling story where good triumphs over evil or the underdog finally wins.

Other times fun looks like chatting with a dear friend, someone who knows and accepts me for all of my flaws and failures, who loves me no matter what.

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9, NLT

Finding fun when my heart is weary

I received a package from a dear friend a couple of days ago. As one of the kids handed me the package, my husband gave me that look. I assured him I hadn’t ordered another book (oh . . . books! Definitely one of my funs).

I opened the packed and tucked inside was a Narnia coloring book. Three of my favorites all in one plain brown package: a gift, the imagination stirred by Narnia, and coloring. (I can’t draw —so I color.)

Tears welled up as I chuckled. I had prayed for encouragement early that morning. My heart was heavy with the weight of the world and I desperately cried out to God for hope. I begged Him to show me that He saw me, not just the things that I do.

It’s fun to see God work. Humbling, too. I received this gift the same day I decided to scrap my post for Facets of Faith this month. Yet as I paged through the coloring book, my heart and imagination stirred with the roar of Aslan. I began to realize that maybe setting time aside for fun wasn’t frivolous but something that breathes life into my weariness.

So don’t mind me as I steal away for a few moments of fun and color.

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

What do you do for fun when your heart is weary? Join the conversation by posting below or over on our Facebook page.

Change, Faith, and Jelly Beans

05.15.2018 by Kim Findlay //

We sat at our table in Panera to discuss life, friendship, oh . . .and Facets of Faith. We share a meal, catch up on life, and then turn our attention to what needs to be discussed for this ministry we get to do together. This particular time we were brainstorming topics for the coming spring, settling in on the month of May.

What about discussing the topic of change? Everyone faces it. The three of us nodded our heads, each thinking about the myriad of change we’ve experienced throughout our lives. One of us, probably Tracy, turned serious. You know if we write about it, we’re going to have to live it. We groaned. We knew if we said yes to this topic, chances were change was on the horizon. Little did we really know. You can check in with what Tracy and Jen shared earlier this month by clicking on their names. As for me? Well, as I often say . . .welcome to my world.

Change

As I reflect over my forty(cough) years, I can confidently say that the one constant has been change. As soon as life seemed to settle in somewhat of a predictable pattern, change would trip me up.

…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” Romans 12:2b, NLT

Most recently? A cross-country move with my still-newlywed husband and three stepkiddos. To many that may not seem like too big of a deal, but for those who know me? Yeah, it was exactly what I said I would never do.

So I thought I’d offer you a glimpse into how I processed this life-changing um, change.

Phase One: Stare

It started with a FB message asking if I knew anyone looking to for a job as a Children’s Director. The one asking? An old boss of mine. And he wasn’t just any boss, he was a favorite. The one I said I’d work for again in a heart beat.

Huh. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that because his request? It was for a job in Massachusetts a thousand miles away. I sat in my car (which may or may not have been moving) and read his message. . .over and over. I figured if I stared at it long enough, maybe it would change. The words might morph or simply disappear. But like watching those pimple-popping videos (don’t judge), I simply couldn’t look away. And before I knew it, I entered Phase Two.

Phase Two: Doubt

The funny thing was that he wasn’t asking me if I wanted the job. He was simply asking if I knew anyone looking for a job. The thing that he didn’t know that I knew that had just happened? I was leaving a retreat where I sensed God leading me to resign from my current position to get ready for whatever came next.

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9, NLT

Surely God wasn’t asking me to move to Massachusetts. Surely He knew I said I would never move away from my parents, my friends, and my youngest daughter’s grave (click here for more of that story). Surely He wasn’t asking me to do that. Not that kind of change. No, the kind of change God would ask about was comfortable and local and not requiring much risk. Right? (insert eye-roll emoji here times seven)

But then it happened . . .Phase Three.

Phase Three: Wonder

After about the ninth time reading that stinkin’ FB message, I began to wonder. Could this be? Was this it? Was this what God was preparing me for —this particular change? Only it wasn’t just a career change. It was a house change and school change and a job-for-my-husband change. It was a family change and friend change and who-the-heck-is-asking-anyway change.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

And yet I couldn’t stop the idea from rolling around. New England was pretty and it was close to my oldest daughter. The job was intriguing and so was working for this leader again. The challenge and expectations. The teamwork and iron-sharpening-iron-ing. I traveled to Massachusetts, was offered the job, and worked for a year all in a matter of minutes as I sat in my car until Phase Four knocked on the window.

Phase Four: Worry

How would moving actually work? What would happen? What about the kids? My husband? My parents? What about my friends? My time? How would we pay our bills?

Question tumbled over question in an effort to gain my attention. Every worse case scenario begged to be recognized as my heart gripped in fear.

Five more minutes passed and now I was fired and homeless because I wasn’t who I used to be. Tears blurred my vision. Was God really asking me what I think He was asking me?

Was I willing to take a risk, to not only change but to be open-handed with my future and embrace the change?

And we know that God causes everything to work together[m] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

I sat with that question for moment, suddenly longing for jelly beans and a Diet Coke —my go-to staples in stress. But then I tip-toed into Phase Five.

Phase Five: Faith

I thought about previous seasons of change where I saw evidence of God’s faithfulness. My heart began to yearn for more than a sugar buzz as I turn to the true source of hope, to the One who never changes.

I remember other seasons of change when God revealed Himself in ways that exceeded my expectations, that blew past my understanding, and ignited a holy imagination flamed only by the power of His Spirit. When I felt the breath of eternity brush against my cheek and remind me of His goodness and grace.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. “ Ephesians 3:20

I began to savor the delicacy Scripture offered. Its truth. Its hope. Story after story of God’s steadfastness and loving kindness.

As the worst-case-scenario reels began to play, I paused and gave thanks for the ways He has redeemed every broken piece of my heart and restored every broken dream of my soul.

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.” 1 Chronicles 16:8

I’ve become a stalwart of faith . . . no. Not really. There’s a reason I’m a connoisseur of jelly beans and it isn’t because my faith is strong. He is. He is my strength and my salvation, my rock to whom I cling. And every time I entered a season of change, which seems to happen all.the.time…I go in kicking and screaming but come out with a renewed picture of God’s character, a glimpse of His longing to help in times of trouble and change, and a sense that He is at work in my life through each and every season.

Fast forward a few months and here I sit in a home in Massachusetts. I said yes to the possibility of change that day in my car. Yes to trusting God with the details. Yes to following Him even when the pathway through change has been muddy and unclear. Yes to this life of adventure and obedience.

And while I may have jelly beans and a Diet Coke next to me at this moment, I realize the way I go through change is by fixing my eyes on Jesus, the true Author and finisher of my faith. Because the only way through change is, well, through. But with Him, all things are possible. Even navigating change.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” Hebrews 12:1-2a

How do you navigate change? Join the conversation by posting below or jumping over to our Facebook page. Either way, I’d love to hear from you!

Rescued from Shame

04.17.2018 by Kim Findlay //

This month at Facets of Faith we’ve been answering the question “what has God rescued you from?”. Tracy and Jen each shared already —be sure to check out their posts by clicking on their names! If you don’t want to miss out, subscribe by sharing your email in the box to the right. Now, it’s my (Kim) turn!

The image slowly took shape in my mind’s eye. A little girl huddled in the corner. Alone. Scared. Dressed in rags she looked with longing at the banquet table spread out before her. Food filled every inch as the place settings were gilded in gold. She longed to join the feast but shame kept her hidden, and hopelessness kept her silent.

Pulling at her clothes, she wondered how to ease the ache in her stomach. The hunger for more. The longing to be loved and accepted.

Shame hissed in her ear again —you’ll never be loved. Look at what you’ve done. All that’s happened to you. You’re too damaged, too broken, too much. Her head hung lower, touching her knees. For a moment she wished the floor would simply swallow her whole if nothing else but to put an end to the despair.

Have you heard the whisper of shame before? The embarrassment over past decisions, whether yours or those who belonged to someone else? Maybe you’ve not only heard the whisper, you’ve been told that you’re too broken, too damaged, too much to deal with. Like the little girl in my dream, you hunkered down in the corner feeling unwanted, unnoticed, unloved and watched as the party unfolded.

I lived that way for quite a while —it looked like I was at the party but in reality I sat in rags like the little girl, tucked away in the corner listening to the lies that my brokenness was beyond healing as life drained from my bones. Death. Loss. Hopelessness.

I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Sin has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within.” Psalm 31:10

The good news is that I didn’t stay there. Jesus rescued me not only from my sin, but from the shame that hushed my voice and caused me to believe I wasn’t good enough to sit at the table.

Because while I am not good enough (“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” Romans 3:23), He is. There’s nothing I can do to “save” myself. There aren’t enough good deeds to perform or right living to live or pretending life is something it’s not. Only Jesus can save me.

He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.” 2 Samuel 22:17

Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit.” 1 Peter 3:18

He rescued me from death and hopelessness. He rescued me from a life half-lived, from believing my broken heart makes me somehow “less than”, from trudging through the sludge of lies thinking that was all I deserved.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” Psalm 40:1-2

He not only rescued me from the despair that tried to trip me, He filled me with hope that sees beyond my circumstances —beyond my past and my present so I have strength to peer into the future and a life spent with God in eternity. He heals every broken piece and makes something new, something beautiful, something uniquely His that brings Him glory and restores my soul.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Psalm 34:5

I think about that little girl huddled in the corner. I imagine the moment Jesus noticed her. Or perhaps, the moment she noticed Him. Eyes cast down a pair of feet suddenly before her. Maybe she felt Him before she saw Him, that wave of something she couldn’t quite explain. A glimmer of hope? A rush of peace?

Slowly she lifted her eyes, hesitantly, fearfully. She wondered if maybe she’d finally been found out and was about to be caste aside, thrown out like with the garbage.

Instead, she notices a hand reaching out to her. A dark hand worn from work, scarred and gentle. Waiting. Her own little hand reaches up, touching the rough skin as His fingers wrap protectively around hers. Before she knows it, she’s on her feet, wrapped in his warm embrace. Love fills her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Grace washes the tears that stream down her cheeks.

But He doesn’t stop there. He steps back and removes his robe, a robe that glimmers like diamonds. White. Pristine. She thought he was wise to do that, she didn’t want to dirty it with her rags. In a split second she realized he’s not removing it to be kept clean, he’s wrapping it around her shoulders. His righteousness becomes hers as the shame is replaced with hope.

I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness.” Isaiah 61:10a

She begins to realize He’s still not done. She would be satisfied with His robe lovingly wrapped around her shivering body. But there’s more. So much more. He tenderly leads her toward the place she longed for —the banquet table. Pulling out a chair He guides her to sit and enjoy the goodness He has for her.

And she weeps with joy that can’t be contained as she joins the feast. Her heart and soul satisfied and filled with gratitude.

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called —his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.” Ephesians 1:18

We love to hear from you! If God has rescued you, can you tell us how? You can comment below or jump over to our Facets of Faith Facebook page and join the conversation.