Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

A Desperate Heart

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Welcome to Facets of Faith! We’re so glad you’re taking a few moments from your day to join us. This month we’re sharing what we’re most desperate for God to do. Tracy and Jen have shared their hearts and words earlier this month –you can check them out by clicking on their names. Next week we have a special guest, my dear friend Abby, and you won’t want to miss it. But for today, it’s my (Kim’s) turn.

I sit staring at the screen. The cursor blinks at me. Mocking me. Taunting me.

You won’t get it done. You’re in over your head.

The whispered words poke the anxiety floating just below the surface, tightening my stomach as it squeezes my soul. The day’s to do list grows long as I think about yet another task to be done and another that might tumble to the side.

I can’t do this.

I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear.” Psalm 143:4, NLT

The realization crushes my heart. I feel like every cartoon character that has ever run smack into the wall. S p l a t !

Lord, I need you. The words begin to bubble from the deepest parts of my soul. I can’t do this.

I think about all of the responsibilities I carry. Wife. Mom. Stepmom. Daughter. Friend. Ministry leader. Counselor. Encourager. Problem solver. Cook. Maid. While it might look impressive on a resume, the weight of responsibilities weigh me down like an anchor trying to steady a ship.

Breath in me, Holy Spirit. Breathe new life into these dry bones. (Ezekiel 37:4-6)

My heart aches. I need you, Lord. I think about the people who depend on me, the ones who look to me for direction, for encouragement, for love. The ones that live under my roof. The ones that carry a piece of my heart. They deserve my very best and yet . . . how often do I look at them as an interruption? A distraction? A frustration?

How often do I look to those around me as a means to an end, that if I can simply get them to do what I want them to do, life will settle. Life will be calm. (insert wide-eyes emoji here) What a lie.

I’m desperate, Lord. For grace. Forgive me for not loving well, for trying to control what is beyond my reach. For not being present for the very ones you’ve entrusted to me. I’m desperate for your forgiveness and grace.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:16, NLT

I sit in the quiet as truth begins to shine through the lies. Truth that He hears me, that He forgives, that He knows all I am facing and not only has enough strength for me to endure, He himself is enough.

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” Psalm 23:1

Realization begins to dawn like a gentle and glorious sunrise. I am alway desperate for God, for Him to reveal Himself in my life. Some days I feel the desperation more than others but the desperation is there.

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain i me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5, NLT

I am desperate for God to move. To redeem the broken places and restore the wounded spaces. I am desperate for Him to speak to me —to reveal His will and His purpose, to replace my heart of stone with one that loves tenderly and completely, expecting nothing in return.

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Ezekiel 36:26, NLT

I am desperate for God to remind me that He is always with me and will never leave me; that He is victorious.

I am desperate for God to remind me that each task on my list has value, that each one brings Him glory when my heart and motive is set on Him and not myself. I am desperate for Him to remind me that each task leads to something bigger than I can see. That the laundry that piles up and the meals that need to be cooked can bring Him glory.

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31, NLT

I am desperate to hear God’s voice and the whispered words that encourage and nourish my soul. Words of love and affirmation. Words that challenge me to see beyond my current circumstances, past the entanglement of my emotions. Words that breathe life and hope and joy.

Long ago the Lord said to Israel, ‘I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” Jeremiah 31:3, NLT

I’m desperate to know truth. Truth that declares that I matter, that my wounds matter. That the pain I’ve suffered and the struggles I’ve endured have a place in the story of redemption He is writing through my life.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8, NLT

I am as desperate for His presence as I am for the air that courses through my lungs, as I sit in the quiet and allow His love to wash over me, for HIs hope to nourish me, for His peace to strengthen me.

Yes, I am desperate. And there is no place I’d rather be.

As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God.” Psalm 42:1, NLT

What are you desperate for God to do? Can you relate to any of the things I listed? Write a comment below or head over to our Facebook page and join the conversation. We’d love to hear from you!

Signature: Kim Findlay

Really Believing, Really Trusting

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Want to know why I love writing with Tracy and Jen here at Facets of Faith? These questions we take time to answer each month are typically birthed from a discussion we had as friends, sitting around a table at Panera as we ate dinner and encouraged each other. It’s with these two ladies I’m able to explore the struggles and triumphs of faith in real life. Be sure to click on their names to read their posts you might have missed. Or better yet . . . sign up to receive each week’s post straight in your inbox!

I’m sitting here mulling over this month’s question —do I believe in God’s promises, really? I really want to offer a pithy response, a thought that drips with wit and insight. You know, a quotable quote.

Instead, all I have to humbly offer is this life I’ve lived so far. These 46 years filled with such heartache and loss that it could be described as a tragedy. You know, that kind of life that some peer into and compare to their own, only to realize maybe their struggles aren’t quite so bad after all.

Yeah, I’m that one. At least my life isn’t like . . . mine. (Truly, this has been said to me.)

The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.” Lamentations 3:19-20, NLT

And yet . . . as I look back over four decades of living, I see a different story. I see one unfolding and steeped in hope. I see a thread that links everything together —the sorrow, the grief, the despair, and hope. Perhaps in my younger years it was thin and hard to see, but that thread has grown thicker and more resilient with each passing year.

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord  never end! His mercies never cease.” Lamentations 3:21-22, NLT

I’m learning to see my life as a miracle. While I may not have experienced the kind of miracle as Jairus did when Jesus raised his daughter from the dead (Matthew 5:21-24, 35-43), or the healing of the woman who had been bleeding for over a decade (Matthew 5:25-34), or gained back my sight or my ability to walk . . . I’m a miracle all the same.

That thread? The miracle?

Faith: the gift of believing in something, in Someone, bigger. Bigger that my fears, bigger than my worries, bigger than life.

Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” Matthew 5:36, NIV

I’ve peered into the blackest of nights and touched the searing hot pain of loss, and survived. I’ve learned to breath in the ashes of despair and traverse my way through the valley of death. I was dead, and now I’m alive. I was lost, and now I’m found.

So as I think about God’s promises and whether or not I believe them, my answer is of course I do! Not perfectly and without worry at times, but I know Jesus loves me and has a big, big house with lots and lots of room. I know He’s called me to go and make disciples and sent His Spirit to lead and guide me. After all, the Bible tells me so and, Scripture, the inspired Word of God, does not lie.

. . . in the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time.” Titus 1:2, NIV

I believe in God’s promises because I believe in God. I believe He is real and not a distant grandfatherly-type hovering somewhere above us watching as we race about. I believe God is intimately involved with every detail of my life —the good, the bad, and the ugly, and He is squeezing good out of every.single.drop.

But what does happen when my circumstances appear contrary to His promises? How do I know what is true when pain or fear stares me straight in the eye? How do I believe in His promises when my heart aches? I always return to His character. What do I know to be true about Him?

He doesn’t lie.

He has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11).

He is sovereign and knows exactly what He is doing (Isaiah 55:9).

And He loves. He loves me. He loves you. Scripture says, in fact, that He is love; everything He does is motivated by His love. If I believe that truth about God’s character, then I can believe in every promise —the ones I know and those I don’t. The ones I see, and those I don’t. The ones I experience, and those yet to happen.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8, NIV

Do I believe in God’s promises? I declare a resounding yes! because I see the work He has done in me and all around me. I’ve experienced the healing touch of His Son, Jesus. I’ve tasted the goodness of His Word as it’s come alive through my life. I’ve felt the overwhelming depth of God’s love for me through the power of the Spirit and the presence of those who love Him, too. I hear whispers of hope through the stories of those who have gone before but walked in faith with their eyes firmly fixed on Him. People like Abraham and Joseph, Mary and Esther, Job and Paul . . . and me.

I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, though I am not skilled with words.” Psalm 71:15, NLT

What about you? Do you believe in God’s promises? Really? Jump over to our Facebook page and share your thoughts. We’d love to hear from you!

Holiday Help for Taming Turkeys

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We’re talking turkeys this month at Facets of Faith, and we don’t mean sharing recipes. The holidays are here and we decided to talk about how we interact with those who might get our goat as we gather. Tracy and Jen shared earlier this month. Click on their names to catch up, or sign up to receive our email so you don’t miss a post! Stay tuned next week as we open this space with a special guest. As for me (Kim)? Well, here’s my recipe for taming those turkeys.

She stood in the doorway, drying her hands on the towel. Pressured by the weight of to-do’s, she looked around for her sister. Surely she knew the importance of this meal. Surely her sister knew that she couldn’t do all of the work all on her own?

Her mind checked off the task she just completed as her eyes skimmed the crowd. One down and sixteen to go, she thought wryly. Now where is that sister of hers?

The familiar frustration began to bubble inside. A slight breeze blew in a whiff of the food cooking in the pot. Almost done, she thought. But the places hadn’t been set and there was more food to be made.

Frustration turned to irritation. How could her sister leave her in a lurch like this? Today of all days? She was just as excited to have such special guests at her house; she wanted everything to be perfect.

She caught a glimpse of her sister’s hair. There she was! Ruffled and flustered, she headed over, determined to give her sister a piece of her mind. How dare she . . .

Oh, she was with him. How could her sister just sit there? Entranced. Enthralled. She caught another whiff of the food. Any longer and it’d be ruined.

She stepped closer and cleared her throat. Surely that would signal her need for help. Nothing —not even twitch. She coughed. She might as well be invisible. She was about to say her sister’s name when he looked up at her, their most treasure guest. Didn’t he know what a turkey her sister was being? Didn’t he realize how much help she needed?

Before she knew what was happening her words tumbled out in complaint. “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” (Luke 10:40b)

Special occasions and family dinners bring out the best in us, don’t they? (insert eye roll emoji here) And when the turkey we’re dealing with isn’t the one we’re sticking in the oven, those special times can sometimes turn into emotional war zones. So how do we handle those people who just seem to push our button at just the wrong time?

I love this story of Martha and her sister, Mary. They real. They’re siblings. And they don’t always get along. Martha wants everything perfect while Mary? Well, she must be the extrovert of the two because she’s always found around people.

Seriously though. Isn’t it great that we can look at Scripture and catch a glimpse of . . . ourselves?

Gulp.

I know. Most of us would like to admit we’re Martha and Martha is doing what is right. She’s scurrying about getting the house and food ready for the party. She’s serving and working and going about her business until . . . she can’t find her sister, Mary. Enter the whining. Can you imagine standing before Jesus and saying, “L o r d . . .”. I liken it to the times my kids would call out my name: “M o m . . .” Each letter drawn out for maximum impact.

Is that what Martha sounded like? Exasperated? Frustrated? Weary?

But the truth of the matter is this —she did the right thing. Think about that for a moment: she called out to Jesus. She didn’t turn to her turkey of a sister and begin to chew. No, she turned toward the One whom she believed could help.

“Lord, help.”

She wanted to get the job done, the dinner finished, and people fed so she fixed her eyes on the One who loves her, and who loves her sister.

And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1b-2a, NLT

We, too, can do that when we’re faced with those challenging people sitting at the table across from us. We can shift our gaze from their turkey-behavior (insert what you’re imagining here), fix our eyes firmly on Jesus, and remember there are days when the turkey is us. We can pray for peace to fill the room, for strength to zip our lips, or a supernatural connection that only Jesus can create.

Every person has a story that has made them to be the person they are today. My mom taught me that, and she’s right. Think of the most challenging person you’ve encountered within the last few days. Now take a moment and call to mind what you know about their story. Is there sorrow? Loss? Brokenness of sorts? Has the pain been healed or the challenges resolved?

Would you be willing to step into their mess? (insert blank stare emoji here)

I know. Maybe not. But what if? What if that’s the very thing God is calling you to do this holiday season? What if that conversation at that particular dinner or brunch or party is where God will shine His light of mercy and grace not only on you, but through you?

Yes, Jesus said that Mary chose the most important thing —Himself. But I think Martha learned that truth, too. People are worth stepping into their mess so we can offer the grace and comfort that Jesus has offered to us. Even with those turkeys that might get our goat now and then.

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT

How do you deal with the turkeys in your life? Feel free to comment below or jump over to our Facebook page. We’d love to hear from you!