Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

Loving a Friend Enough to Stand in the Gap

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How do you love a friend when it’s hard? That’s the question we’re answering here at Facets of Faith this month. Tracy and Jen started the conversation — be sure to check out their posts by clicking on their names.

For me (Kim)? Well, now it’s my turn.

I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my friends, especially those who loved me enough to stand in the gap when life got hard.

Sounds dramatic, but it’s true.

When my five-year-old daughter died from smoke inhalation in a fire that destroyed our home, and her dad lie in an ICU bed with injuries suffered from that fire, my world became the definition of a life turned hard.

Literally.

But my friends didn’t turn away from the destruction, they drew near and stood in the gap for me.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17, NIV

They loved me in practical ways like bringing diet pepsi and pretzels to a hospital 30 miles from home, simply because they knew I needed to eat and those were my favorite. They loved me as they spent the night in the waiting room of the hospital so I wouldn’t be alone if word came that my sweet Emma had died. They loved me as they told me it was okay to buy my favorite perfume to replace the one I lost in the fire, and then stood up for me after I chewed out a lady for not selling a particular perfume set that I wanted.

They loved me as they shopped with me for clothes my girls and I would wear to Emma’s funeral. Then, they loved me as they stood next to me as I stood next to her little casket.

My friends did more than those practical things . . . so much more. They comforted me with hugs and smiles and offered tender words of encouragement. They reminded me that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t forgotten.

My friends shared their strength as they sat and listened while I processed all that happened. They didn’t try to fix anything; life was simply too broken to fix. But they helped make it bearable, endurable, even if for a moment. They validated my tears and sorrow as they wept with me. When my life turned upside, they reminded me of all that was right-side up.

My friends prayed for me. They interceded and pleaded on my behalf, asking the Holy Spirit to minister to me in those deepest, darkest spaces where no one else could go, places no one else could see. Their prayers changed everything. They impacted my life in ways I won’t understand this side of heaven. I borrowed their faith when I had none.

I know this journey wasn’t easy on them. My friends were tired, downright exhausted. My life was messy, and that mess clung to them. There were days I wondered if they would give up on me, on the entire situation, days when they needed a break from the heaviness. I wondered because there were days when I wanted the exact. same. thing. A moment to breathe with the fullness of my lungs, without the weight of sorrow pressing me down.

There were days I longed for my weariness to end so my friends didn’t have to experience it with me. When I could pretend that life is okay and laugh away the minutes, all to give them a reprieve, to lighten their load.

But honestly, those days were few and far in between. Many days I didn’t feel like a very good friend. I felt, more often than not, I was that friend, the one who was difficult to love. Not because I was particularly difficult, but my circumstances sure were. And because they were, I didn’t have much to give back to my friends. I received so much more than I gave.

But these friends, these war buddies of mine, they didn’t give up even when it was hard. They stood in the gap and showered me with love — the life-giving, grace-filled love typically found in the pages of Scripture, but rarely in every day life quite like this. My friends? Oh, they loved me well. And for that, I am forever grateful.

Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV

How do you love a friend when it’s hard? Have you ever been on the receiving end? Jump in and join the conversation below or over on our Facebook page.

The Ultimate Do Over – A Transformed Heart

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We’ve been chatting about the need for a do over here at Facets of Faith this month. Tracy and Jen started the conversation. Be sure to check out their thoughts! Now it’s my (Kim) turn but be sure to come back next week for a special guest!

I love singing and dancing movies. When my oldest daughter was little, we enjoyed many a rainy afternoon snuggled next to each other watching Sound of Music and Newsies, Meet Me in St. Louis and State Fair. Well, I sat as she sang and danced along.

So when news of Debbie Reynold’s death hit the internet a couple of weeks ago, my heart broke.

The unsinkable Molly Brown wasn’t so unsinkable after all.

The Unsinkable Molly Brown is, perhaps, one of my favorite musicals. It has all the makings of my favorite type of story: an underdog who gets a chance, an unlikely romantic match, and a huge obstacle that is ultimately overcome.

In this case, the obstacle was Molly Brown herself.

Molly needed a do over. She longed to fit in with Denver society but her past spoke louder than her manners and furthered the divide between herself and those with whom she longed for acceptance. So off she and her husband went to gain an education in Europe. She returned with new skills, new speech, new clothes, and even new friends.

The problem — you can take the girl out of the woods, but you can’t fully take the woods out of the girl. Her do-over ended up being skin deep, a behavioral change. When faced with choosing her old friends over some from Denver society . . . well, let’s just say the food fight was one of my favorite scenes. Afterwards, she became the talk of the town and was rejected . . . again. What she needed wasn’t a behavioral change, it was a heart change.

Have you ever done that? Known you need a do over, a second chance, only to find all you did was try to manage your actions?

You want to lose that last 25 pounds but work is so stressful, you cope with chocolate.

Your kids are in that season of constant need and attention and your frustration reveals its ugly head —loudly—more often than you care to admit.

That issue your friend last month, the one you thought was resolved? You heard she was talking about it with a mutual friend. Resentment crept in and you realized maybe you hadn’t forgiven like you thought. You had just kept quiet.

You know you need to make different choices. You try. You pray. You strive. You know you’re in need a do over but the idea of work is just. plain. exhausting.

There’s another story about a lady in desperate need of a do over, where her life, too, was the talk of the town. Rejected and avoided, she often traveled to the well outside of town at the hottest time of day just to avoid the whispers and looks.

But then she encountered someone who did more than try to manage her behavior, He changed her heart. The giver of the ultimate do over sat in front of her, asking for a drink of water, and she didn’t even see it coming.

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19, NLT

But Jesus knew. He knew, He saw her, and He loved her enough to transform her.

For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.” Luke 19:10, NLT

How did He create the ultimate do over in her life?

He spent time with her.

Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’” John 4:7, NLT

He, a Jewish man, spoke to her, a Samaritan woman.

The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans.” John 4:9, NLT

He invited her to experience him.

But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” John 4:14, NLT

He revealed her deepest secrets.

‘I don’t have a husband,’ the woman replied. Jesus said, ‘You’re right! You don’t have a husband – for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth.” John 4:17, NLT

He offered no condemnation but revealed Himself to her.

Then Jesus told her, ‘I AM the Messiah.’” John 4:26, NLT

Those words changed her life forever. She experienced the ultimate do-over. Jesus changed her heart that day by a simple encounter. No longer was she an outcast whom others avoided. “The woman left her water jar beside the well and ran back to the village, telling everyone, ‘Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possible be the Messiah?’ So the people came streaming from the village to see him.” John 4:28-29, NLT

Sure, some were curious. Maybe others went because they didn’t believe her and needed to see for themselves. Regardless of their motives, she experienced a do over because Jesus transformed her heart.

Many Samaritans from the village believed in Jesus because the woman had said, ‘He told me everything I ever did.’” John 4:39, NLT

He offers this same encounter with us. All of it. Because a true do over in life is more than a behavior change, it’s about the transforming work that we cannot do on our own, in our strength. Only Jesus can.

Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9, NLT

Are you ready to allow Him to transform your heart?

Thanks for joining us this month at Facets of Faith. Comment below or check out our Facebook Page to start conversation threads there. Share the posts you love with your friends and family because that’s an excellent way to begin conversations in your personal circle!

 

 

When All I Have to Offer is Broken

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This month at Facets of Faith we’re answering the question, “what do I have to offer?”. Tracy and Jen have shared their heart-felt responses, ones you don’t want to miss. Take a moment and jump over to their pages to see how they responded.


I (Kim) was terrified. The divorce was final and I had started the slow rebuild of all that was damaged. I felt unsure, unsteady, and unworthy. But there I sat at the computer, rereading the email for the eighth time.

We’d love to have you back to share the story of the death of your daughter and how you trusted God.

It took a few moments for the invitation to sink in. I spoke at this church a few years prior and shared my story of trusting God after the death of a child. I offered practical tips on how I learned to trust Him. But that was before the divorce.

I started to feel like a fraud as I read. What did I have to offer? My marriage fell apart and I almost did, too. I still cried. A lot. I questioned and wondered and struggled. I talked with God about my pain and loss all the time but didn’t seem to have many answers. I felt broken, damaged, and unusable.

All I wanted to do was to offer God my best. But during that season of my life, my best didn’t feel all that great. I looked around and saw other people doing great things for Him: impacting countries, writing transformational books, and making real differences in peoples’ lives.

And then there was me.

Broken. Grief-filled. Wrestling and struggling with life. Not all the time, of course. But it seemed every time I took a step or two forward, I got knocked back three or four.

I sat in front of my computer, hoping the answer would jump out from between the lines. I wanted to be honest — with Him and myself. Yes, I wanted to offer my best, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized what I really wanted to offer was perfection.

I wanted to show God the pristine pictures and put-together poses. I didn’t want to show the frustrations and painful places that still plagued me. I didn’t want him or anyone else to see all those broken pieces I kept trying to sweep up and hide.

Perhaps you can relate?

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b, NLT

My heart was broken, but it was still beating, even begun to heal. During those dark days I started to hear a quiet voice whisper soothing sounds to my soul. I experienced God in ways I’d only tasted before.

I love you.

But if you only knew . . .

I do know, and I love you. Nothing will ever change that or take you away from me.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39, NLT

But what about the time I . . .

Not even that.

But I ‘m scared. What will people say?

It’s okay. I’m with you. I will never leave you.

I have nothing to offer you, nothing good. My life is full of broken pieces.

That’s enough. Trust me with them. Watch what I can create.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20

Broken pieces. A shattered heart and failed marriage. A life filled with sorrow and years of disappointment. Oh, and tears — gallons of tears cried in the shadows. To the world, my life looked like a mess, but to God? Well, to Him, there was value. There is value.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8, NLT

Like a child offering a precious gift to a loving parent, I held out all my broken pieces and offered them all to Him. I named each piece and placed them at His feet. When I was done, I felt empty, yet somehow at peace. I trusted He would remind me of His love and grace on days I tried to take my offering back and on the days I felt strong.

I chose to trust He will do what He said and create something beautiful out of the ugly mess. So I hit reply to the email and said yes. After all, I had much to offer.

And so do you.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3, NLT

Jump in and join the conversation here or over on our Facebook page. We love to hear from you!