Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

Can I Trust God with My Fear?

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This month, I (Tracy) get to share with our FACETS readers one of my favorite people. Meet my friend Megan. She is kind, humble, and attentive and attuned to God’s leading. One of the things I love most about her is her willingness to be brave, in spite of fear, obediently stepping into what God has for her. I have been blessed to know her, and I’d love to pass that blessing on to you, our readers.  Praying you will bravely step through any residual fear in your lives, as you read and are encouraged by Megan’s story.

Fear has been present in many different forms throughout my life. When I was 3 it was anyone (and I mean anyone) who would say “hi” to me. I would hide behind my mom and cry until they went away. My older brother was the opposite. He loved to yell “hi!” to all we passed and then loudly comment how rude they were when they didn’t respond. We were quite the pair.

As I grew up, though, the fears I faced slowly changed form to things like grades, the idea of perpetual singleness, “what if they knew”, back surgery and, sadly, leading worship. So, when I was asked to write in response to Can I trust God when I’m afraid?, it seemed rather appropriate given my long list. It also, though, led to many pages of scribbled words, songs, scriptures and generally incoherent thoughts as I tried to piece together where God was leading. My brain screamed “YES! Of course you can trust God!”, my heart right there behind it wanting so badly to agree, but my actions – they expose the truth.

The truth is, my fear is often much bigger than my trust.

I never thought of myself as a fearful person, even with all the previous listed items. The day someone asked me to help sing with the worship band and my prayers to God didn’t seem to be leading me away from it, was when I came to terms with my unreasonable and unexplainable fear. Standing with a microphone my heart races.   My voice quivers.  All I have practiced slips away. What remains is my doubt and an overwhelming fear. I hear every shaky note magnified by the microphone, hands trembling. Why can I worship freely, joyfully and confidently until someone hands me this silly microphone? It is as if every insecurity and fear I have ever felt chooses that moment to come up to the surface, leaving me incredibly vulnerable, blocking the praises of my heart.

There is something about being vulnerable –exposed, admitting you are imperfect, opening up to rejection.  It is terrifying. It leaves me wanting to be just vulnerable enough I appear real and relatable, while hiding just enough I don’t really have to fear rejection or judgement. “What if they actually knew the real me? All of me?” I want to control my vulnerability, and the response of others. In these moments, my fear is much bigger than my trust.

So, can I trust God in these moments of fear? If I let go of my control, my pride, and my expectations and trust God with all my fears, then what am I left with?

Him.

I am left with my Heavenly Father. My Father who knows me, knows every thought, every fear, and He walks right beside me through all of them – never leaving me. He sees where I am today and he sees me on the other side, already victorious.

This is illustrated well in the story from Matthew 14 where Jesus sent His disciples ahead of Him, across the lake and said He would meet them there. He went up the hills alone to pray, and as night fell, He started walking across the water to meet them. Meanwhile, the disciples were in the boat in the middle of the lake fighting through stormy waves. They were terrified! Then, along comes Jesus, walking by them on the water and His disciples cried out in fear. Jesus said, “Do not be afraid. Take courage. I am here.”

Did Jesus send them out alone into a storm to battle on their own and just show up when He no longer thought they could handle it themselves? I don’t think so. He was asking them to trust Him.

When the disciples saw Jesus walking on water, Peter called out to Him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” Peter was able to walk towards Jesus on the water until he let himself look back to the storm, was overcome with fear and began to sink.

When Peter called out for help, Jesus immediately reached out to grab him. He didn’t let him drown. Jesus climbed into the boat with them, and His presence stopped the storm.

When Peter’s eyes were focused on Jesus, trusting Jesus, his storm was calmed (and he walked on water!). It was only when he allowed himself to look away he began to fear. Trusting in Jesus overpowered his fear.

I can trust God with my fear, because He is more powerful than my fear. While my fear may come and go, when I cry out to the Lord “Help!” and I focus my eyes on Him, my fear has no power over me. He will not let me drown.

Take reassurance from God’s message to the Israelites, His chosen people, in Isaiah 41:10 (NLT):

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Trust the Lord with your fear, He sees your victory.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

 

Can I Trust God When I Want to Be a ‘Fraidy Cat?

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This month the FACETS team stares fear in the face as we explore how God meets us in the midst of our ‘Fraidy Cat moments. We explore what it means to trust God and choose faith over the fear that wants to keep each one of us from fulfilling all God has for us. Check back over the next few weeks to see what Jennifer, Kim, and our special guest have to say on the topic. We all have to face fear, so I pray you learn something new that proves helpful on your own faith journey as you check back in each week.

Have you ever had to wait on something for a long time? Fear sets in when hope gets hard from too much waiting. We wonder if that thing we’ve been waiting on will ever come to pass.

It’s hard to hang onto hope when we’ve been clinging to it for a protracted period. If we were an anchor, barnacles would cover the hope lingering in our hearts. Hardly recognizable, the hope we once clung to not easily seen. It’s there, but it takes effort as we scrape the barnacles off, borrow brave, and keep eyes fixed on God and His promises.

Isn’t the question we’re really asking: Can I trust God while He has me in the wait?

I used to be extremely impatient and impulsive. Getting to my goal ─fast─ used to be my motto. Waiting wasn’t in my vocabulary.

My desire to achieve deeply rooted in fear. I feared I wasn’t good enough, so I had to excel – at everything – in order to matter for anything.  I wrestled with who I was and wondered if that (then) young woman was genuinely good for anything. I feared not. So I faked it. Hard! I thought no one knew how afraid I was. My guess now is, many people probably were well aware.

Isn’t it obvious when someone’s trying too hard?

Funny how fearing becoming a big flop became a self-fulfilling prophesy. I encountered hard times in my life, that turned out to be the best thing that ever happened.

Failure helped me come to know my Father. And in failing, I learned to fear it less. Don’t get me wrong, failing wasn’t fun. It was painful. But in the pain, there was purpose. I learned to make peace with myself. I learned who I am and how God made me. Through failure I learned I could pick myself up and try again.

God was at the helm of my life, scraping off years of rust from sitting in salt water, crustaceans eating away at the purest parts of who God made me to be. It took time. If you’ve ever restored anything, you know that’s generally the case. In time God showed me purpose. He continues to do so.

God’s always working, refining and purifying. He’s not in a hurry. And I’ve learned to be in a hurry less. If we rush the Artist, we’re likely to muddle up the masterpiece He’s working out in us.

I’ve become much more patient with myself as I’ve grown in Christ. It’s another gift God has given as I’ve journeyed with Him in the faith.  I pray He grows that grace gift in you as well, to be kind and patient with yourself.

At first, it felt like I was learning a foreign language. Unfamiliar. I wasn’t sure how to be patient with myself. The fear factor would rear and I’d go back to familiar patterns of performance. I’m more aware. I can see it sooner now and return to center – with Christ at the helm – making me brave where I once was full of fear.

These words whisper to you too, “Be patient with yourself. It’s a process. Learning to wait well takes time.”

And in that time, we also get to cuddle up with Christ. Being patient, we grow to rely on God more. It’s less about what we can do, and more about what He does as we give up control to the One who knows what He’s doing! He’s not going to make a mistake, and He’ll certainly help us make far fewer ones, even as He allows us to make some so we can learn and grow.

Time gives us opportunity to know Jesus better than we would have had we rushed the process. Time also gives us opportunity to know ourselves better. We become more certain of who we are, how God made us, and confident He made us good (even if imperfect).

It takes a bit of courage to believe God is up to something good in our lives (even when we can’t see it).  We are braver for all His barnacle scraping, because He’s giving us strong glimpses of what He really has in store for you and me.

Wait patiently for the LORD.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

~ Psalm 27:14 NLT

In the patient quiet with the Lord as He continues to help me be still, I noticed something new in Psalm 27:14 which I hadn’t seen before. Sandwiched between wait patiently were the words brave and courageous.

Wait patiently for the LORD.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

~ Psalm 27:14 NLT (emphasis added)

As the words brave and courageous jumped off the page, the Lord impressed these words upon my heart:

“Patience, the antithesis of fear.”

When we are patient and wait for the Lord, we exhibit great bravery.

When we are patient and wait for the Lord, we demonstrate courage.

In our grab-and-go world, we could succumb to fear, wondering whether the one thing we’ve been waiting for will ever come to pass or just pass us by.  We could take control and take things into our own hands – out of fear we’re not enough, or worse, out of fear God is not enough. We could think we are the master craftsman of our lives, in control of where our ship is sailing and let the fraidy cat inside of each of us win.

Or we could choose to wait patiently. Trust God. Trust His character, and that He’s doing something in ours if there’s a divine delay. Or perhaps He’s teaching us a new thing as was the case with me.

Antithesis isn’t in my everyday language. I felt led to look it up in the dictionary.

In its simplest form, antithesis means opposite.

Patience is the opposite of fear.

There’s another interesting definition of antithesis, rhethoric. The placing of a sentence or one of its parts against another to which it is opposed to form a balanced contrast of ideas, as in “Give me liberty or give me death.”

As I read that definition, another word jumped into my head. Juxtapose. Again, I had a vague knowledge of what the word meant, but felt like I was on a bit of a treasure hunt at this point.

According to dictionary.com, juxtapose means to place close together or side by side, especially for comparison or contrast.

Why the vocabulary lesson? Through language I don’t use in my everyday conversation, I realized God was speaking to me. He taught me a new way to hear His voice. Because I wasn’t in a hurry. Because I slowed down enough to be curious as a cat and let Him speak to me, I heard what was on His heart.

Brave and courageous juxtaposed on the pages of Scripture with great intention. Perhaps we are being the bravest version of ourselves when we wait patiently and cling to the hope we have in Christ and claim every promise He has given us in His Word.

Wait patiently for the LORD.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

~ Psalm 27:14 NLT

When the wait is hard and fear wants to grab ‘hold of your heart, remember sweet child of God that you are brave. Brave women of God wait patiently. Brave women of God realize they have nothing to prove. Christ did that on a cross for you and me, so cuddle up with Him and let Him show you how brave you are while you wait patiently.

Fear says, “It’s never going to happen.”

God says, “Time will tell.”

I pray God silences the voice that taunts with fear and that God meets you in the wait as He shows you the peace, power, and preparation of abiding in His presence.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

What Are You Going Back To?

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This month FACETS of Faith explores the question, what are you going back to? The topic stumped me (Tracy).  I’ve been praying. And praying. And praying.

My fingers pecked across the keyboard. “I’m not even sure what You want me to write about this month, Lord…” Prattle to hopefully jump start my creative engine. It didn’t work.  Battery dead. No Power. (And without His Power, my words WOULD be just mindless prattle.)

So I stopped, closed up shop, and did something else. No sense typing a bunch of nonsense, even if I was getting a little angsty with a deadline looming.  You see, it’s really important to me I don’t just write what I want.  I want to write what God is calling me to write, relevant and in season.

Finally, fresh revelation. The rescue made me as happy as seeing roadside assistance when you’re broken down on a dead-end street.  A trinity AAA rescue!

What are you going back to?  First and foremost, I’m going back to seeking the Lord. When I don’t know what to do, in situations big and small, I must continue to seek the Lord.  I feel this is my first response most of the time (these days).  But this is a good reminder to us all ─ God cares about it all. He cares about injustice across the globe, poverty and provision for people’s needs, how and whom we serve, what we do in our free time, and even what I write about.

Don’t think you aren’t important to Him. Don’t think your cares and concerns aren’t significant enough to put before God. They are, because you are!  God wants us all to know how deep and wide His love is for us.  It’s often through His response in small circumstances where He shows us how BIG we are loved.

Rejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.─1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 AMP

Prayer without ceasing is only possible if we include God in everything. So let’s involve Him in every little detail. When He shows us the way and what’s needed, lift up a shout of praise and rejoice!

What are you going back to? I’m also reminded to wait on Him and His timing.  There’s no sense trying to birth something before He’s darn good and ready to do so!  It’s futile, so why not just give in to His holy calendar? Sometimes the closer we are to our due date, the less patient we are to abide in God’s timing. But that’s where peace presides. Imagine pushing and pushing in month 6 of your pregnancy. You have 3 more months, so what’s your hurry? Sure. You want your body back. Sure. You’re anxious to see your new little one. Sure. You’re ready to wear a belt again and perhaps sleep without having to get up and go potty every 30 minutes. But you’ve got 3 more months. No amount of your wishing, and wanting, and even push, push, pushing is going to produce what isn’t ready to be birthed.

Be still, and know that I am God.─Psalm 46:10a ESV

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen this verse over the last year or so I might have the beginnings of a really good vacation fund.

But as irritating (and laughable) as it sometimes is when I get a fresh dose of this scripture, it’s also liberating. It’s not up to me. I don’t have to do anything until God says, “do it”. Once He gives the green light, it’s full speed ahead.  The road is well paved, because He’s prepared the way and I’m just following all His signs.

This Way.

Now That.

U-Turn.

Revisit That.

Go A Different Way.

Say “Hi” To Her.

Buy That One Dinner.

Say No.

Say Yes.

Construction Ahead, But Keep Going.

As we listen to His voice, He keeps us on the path. His path. The one that keeps us in peace even as He stretches and grows us.

And that thought leads me to God’s answer for me (and perhaps for some of you too). What are you going back to?

His very personal answer for me… my life. He wants me to go back to my life.  He’s saying. This is the way. Walk in it. Don’t put limits on your life. If you do, you’re putting limits on Me.

Are you putting limits on God and what He can do in and through you? Read the above paragraph again. Listen to what God is saying.

What does that seemingly grandiose statement mean? I am to go back to my life.

For any of you that have been in a birthing season, you understand it is extremely busy. A new baby to care for, a new business venture, a new job, planting a church, launching a ministry, it’s all a lot of work.

For well over a year I have been involved in starting up a human trafficking residential aftercare ministry. It has been an all-consuming, sometimes exhausting, tear inducing experience even as it has been full of joy and rich rewards to see God move.  I expected spiritual resistance, and even attack, but not to the level in which I encountered it. Let’s just say I have a few battle scars. But man, I wouldn’t have missed that battle for anything! Like a lot of things in life, it has also been so full of unexpected blessing and life altering encounters. I have been given gifts I will take with me long after God calls me away from this ministry.

It has been a hard year or so. It has been humbling. It has been a year of hibernating (in a sense). I didn’t do much else besides eat, breathe, and sleep the ministry. It’s what was needed in the intense start up period.

I had to say “no” to many things I would have been interested in doing; I knew I couldn’t.

But now, it’s a new season.

While I’m still super passionate about human trafficking and doing my part to participate in God’s mission against it, He says He has more.

None spiritual speak here … that kind of freaks me out!  More? Than this? This has been pretty monumental!

But this fight against human trafficking is not all that I am. I am much more. I am who God made me to be. I’m who He is making me to be.

The ministry is up and running and not all-consuming.  It’s busy, but not birthing kind of busy.   Now, He’s saying I can step into some new things and revisit some old endeavors I enjoyed.  Perhaps, my role will look different. Perhaps the gifts God has entrusted me to steward He’ll use in a slightly different capacity.

This morning as I was getting ready, God solidified this new season for me. I listened to Christine Caine’s teaching about stretching and growth. I knew it was for me. Here’s a woman, on fire for the Lord, doing great things for Him, not putting limits on what He can do in and through her. (Talk about a woman with some passion and zeal!)

She shared how she has been stretched by God to do more than she ever thought she could. She had her doubts. She hashed it out with God. And then she said, “Okay, let’s do this!” (so to speak)

Hearing her talk, I knew it was for me.  Perhaps it’s for you too. Do you have a lot on your plate and think to yourself, “I can’t add one thing more?” Maybe you can. But not in your own strength!  Let God do the “pushing” for you and maybe, just maybe you can.

Trust His voice because sometimes that’s not what He’s asking at all. But sometimes. Sometimes, it is!

God is releasing me to more fully explore a leadership role in a writing group I’ve been a part of for a number of years. I’m excited about what He can do in and through all the amazing women He has gathered. These ladies are awesome! All love Jesus and want to do what He wants them to. I think about the leadership development opportunities there might be (something I’m passionate about), and all that any little investment I am allowed to make might be magnified and multiplied. They have big dreams in the name of Jesus, so who wouldn’t want to surround themselves with friendships like that?

I feel released to explore some ministry opportunities at my church ─ at least released enough to have some preliminary discussions of what things could look like. Dream a little. Explore. Noodle. Create in a slightly different fashion.

And I might be able to get back to some of the life coaching I was doing, which I absolutely love.  It requires a full emotional tank, and now that I am not running on emotional empty from ministry launch, I feel more released to engage.

What are you going back to?  If you don’t know, seek God through prayer. If His answer is “delayed”, don’t push. Don’t get ahead, but don’t lag behind.  Wait on His timing to reveal His purposes for your life. Pay attention to seasons, circumstances, and what those might be saying to you about what God has for you. Abide in His presence and let His peace (even in the midst of crazy, crazy) guide your decisions.

I was asked earlier today how I felt about getting older. My honest answer, “Okay”. I feel very alive, because God is always doing something new in my life. He’s interested in my growth (and He’s faithful to grow me).  But here’s the thing …. He knows I’m “all in”. I’m not going to give up even when the going gets really hard. Believe you me, it has from time to time.  In spite of the tough seasons, I’ve got to say “yes” to God.

If we decline what God has for us, that’s when our lives spiral into decline.  If we say “no” when He wants us to say “yes”, we’re not doing what we were made for. It’s not old age or even death that steals life from us. When we stop living, that’s when life leaves us.

How can you most fully engage in the life God is calling you to live? Follow His whispers, His signs to what will make your life great, because you’re becoming more and more the very woman (or man) God designed you to be.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Don’t forget to check back in later this month to read Kim’s and Jennifer’s perspective, as well as our first male guest contributor who will close out the month’s topic: What are you going back to?