Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

Who Do You Love?

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Don’t instantly check out as you see our topic at FACETS this month. Yes, it’s about love. But perhaps God wants to speak something new to your heart through the words He has given Kim, Jennifer or myself. And you’ll definitely want to see what my friend Zolei shares on the topic of love in week four!

February. The month of love. But what if we aren’t in the mood? Sometimes that’s the case. Right? We know we should love, but we just don’t want to. We know we might be missing out, but we might avoid the muddy mess of it all too.

Who do you love?

Do you even want to? Or are you sick of trying? Maybe all you want to do is snuggle up with your dog. Show me an animal lover and you may see someone who’s been deeply hurt and finds it difficult to trust humans. (I may know a thing or two about that.)

Let’s face it. Love can be stickier than cotton candy. Love can melt our heart faster than chocolates left in the car on a hot summer day. Love can be messy! Love can leave a stain that makes us think to ourselves, “Perhaps it’s easier to just steer clear.”

Maybe your line sounds something more like this, “I’ll just deal with this empty, dry, loveless relationship until death do us part. I’ll endure it, but I won’t enjoy it.”

Friendships that sour and leave a bitter taste in our mouth. Loves lost, but not before first leaving us scarred. And scared. Familial love that didn’t look like it does in the bedtime stories of children safely nestled in their beds, mama and papa tucking them in before the child drifts off in dreamy slumber.

Love is not always easy. Love is more likely almost always hard. Love is work. Love isn’t the stuff of romantic comedies or fairy tales. Love is the stuff of in the trenches digging in and doing what’s right.  And getting up the next day and putting loving well on repeat, not missing a beat. When we get it wrong? Fess up! Ask for forgiveness. A – pol- o – gize

Love is leaning in with intention. Love isn’t leaving when the going gets tough. I didn’t always know that.

My hope and prayer for everyone who finds this blog is that you realize while love isn’t easy, it’s possible and even necessary. Please, please don’t close yourself off to the idea of love. It’s not too lofty for anyone.  It’s not too late.

Hope for authentic love is not lost. Whether that love you so desperately desire is for a partner, a friend, a child, a parent, or someone else, love is possible for you.  But it will take some work on your part. I’ve done some work in that area myself.

But lean in to hear this…

It was worth it!

The hard work was absolutely worth it! I’ve walked through some love land mines. I could have been blown to bits, but I’m here. Still breathing. And smiling. Most days, heart full. And when it’s not, I run to Jesus and let Him fill me with His love, so I can operate from a place of confident boldness. I am loved.

I am loved! Which makes me able to love!

You are loved! Which makes you able to love!

If you haven’t received Christ as your Lord and Savior, you are loved!

But!

But you don’t have access to His power and ability to love others well. It’s only when we accept Jesus into our hearts that we are given the Holy Spirit (God in us). We don’t have strength to love the difficult people in our own power, but in God’s we can.

And you aren’t in your pursuit of love alone. God is love. God desires love for all His children. We were made to love, because we were made in His image.

If you want to receive Jesus into your heart, pray a simple prayer of surrender. “Jesus, I want to know You and Your love. I want to know how to love others well. I want and need Your power to do so. I give You my heart. Please help me to receive Your love and guidance for my life. Help me always to remain in Your love, power, and soundness of mind. Help me to be bold in my faith and in my love for You, myself, and others. Give me confidence and the ability to overcome my fears. In Jesus’ name, amen!”

Most of us are probably very familiar with the greatest commandments to love God and love others as ourselves. (See Matthew 22:36-39)  Love coded into our DNA by design. When we go against love, we go against the grain of God’s plan for each of our lives. If we resist love, we resist God Himself.

By the way, one can be IN a relationship but not act in a loving way. I know we are all aware of this, but it’s worth mentioning. Just because we are partnered up with someone romantically or just because we are in a friendship with someone, doesn’t mean we are in a love relationship with them.

We can treat our friends less than loving. We can be unloving to our spouse. We can show our worst side to those closest to us as we show our sparkly, shiny selves to those further off in the distance.

I’ve been in ministry long enough to see, one never knows what goes on behind closed doors.  If that’s you, sitting behind a door that you’d be completely embarrassed if someone peered behind and saw what really goes on… love is not too late for you either. Promise! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Redemption ALWAYS is!

No relationship. No disillusioned love is beyond hope. Hearts still beating? Hope’s still lingering!  If there are old wounds to clean up, do so. It might be more work than if you were a newlywed, but God will help you. HE IS BIG ENOUGH! Don’t give up! Don’t throw in the towel when God is fully capable of cleaning up any mess we make!

Bounty may be the quicker picker upper, but God is the master cleanser and restorer. He not only cleans up. He makes new. Somehow better than when we first began if only we’ll hand our mess over to Him, and follow His lead as He helps us love well.

How do I know?

He’s done it for me! And He does it for me! (Because it’s a daily thing.)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.─2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

Some of you may know my story, that I was married before – and lost everything. Everything. But in the losing of─well─my life, I gained everything.

The gain was instant and gradual all at once. I was flooded with God’s love. A love so genuine, sweet, and authentic that it felt foreign – false almost. You know. Too good to be true. Only thing is … it wasn’t. God was (and is) good for His word. That felt foreign. Someone I could trust. But I could. And I can.

In the beginning I was terrified to trust God, or anyone else. I’d always trusted myself – trust your gut – until you find out that’s not the most reliable source.

I was so afraid to love, I almost lost it!

FEAR LIMITS LOVE

My fear of getting hurt by another human almost left my heart walled off from receiving a sweet gift from God. I have been gifted a wonderful second chance in a godly marriage.

But it almost didn’t happen.

Almost seven years down the line, I’m glad it did! And I’m so glad God understood my fear (and its source) and in His mercy and goodness made His plan for my life abundantly clear.

The Scripture above says God didn’t give us a spirit of fear.

Fear is from the enemy who wants to keep us isolated and alone. Love is from God. He is the source of our love. He gives us the power to love, on the days when it’s easy. And on the days when love takes work.  Real life is made up of both.

Sometimes we can’t love in our own power. Those people that grate on our very last nerve. Like nails on a chalk board. The ones that aren’t easy to love are still lovable in God’s sight. Who do you love? You love them too!

That’s the kind of love we can’t do in our own power. That’s supernatural love.

Our scripture goes on to say God gives us a spirit of power. His power. We’re not in the business of loving the prickly ones in our own power, but His! I may have muttered quietly in my head a time or two, “Help me love this one well, Lord. Because if it’s up to me …. well, I’m pretty sure I’m going to blow it!”

An excerpt from the Message 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.”

“God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.”

When’s the last time you thought of love as being sensible? A gift? Perhaps. Bold? Sure. Sensible? Huh?

Sensible love is a gift.

Long after the adrenaline subsides and relationships settle into pleasant companionship, relationships of genuine concern, love roots in sensible plots of land. Flowers bloom from season to season. Soil fertilized well. Relationships fortified. Forged strong from some rough patches weathered well together. Fragrant blooms of fresh cut flowers still … because love and life aren’t assumed but invested in.

Who do I love?

I love God. I love others. I love myself, because not doing so is a form of insecurity and pride that is rooted so deep in fear that can strangle out love’s possibility for growth.

And I want love to grow.

So I’ll weed and water, preparing the soil of my heart to be ready to give and receive love.

In God’s power as we love others, we are not only giving gifts. We are receiving them too.  For almost certainly what we plant, we will harvest. The more love we plant and nurture, the more love will grow, and the more we will receive. Pressed down. Full to overflowing.

I pray bushel baskets of love filled to capacity for you, sweet friend! I pray you are able to access God’s power (because it’s there for the asking) to love others well. And I pray when you do the hard work of loving others well, you see a bountiful harvest. And if you’ve been deeply hurt and are afraid to love, really love, that you are given a boldness and discernment from God to know who to trust with your heart. I pray God gives you spiritual eyes to see who will love you well. (Because God showed me and He was oh-so-right!) In Jesus’ name, amen!

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Really Believing, Really Trusting

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Want to know why I love writing with Tracy and Jen here at Facets of Faith? These questions we take time to answer each month are typically birthed from a discussion we had as friends, sitting around a table at Panera as we ate dinner and encouraged each other. It’s with these two ladies I’m able to explore the struggles and triumphs of faith in real life. Be sure to click on their names to read their posts you might have missed. Or better yet . . . sign up to receive each week’s post straight in your inbox!

I’m sitting here mulling over this month’s question —do I believe in God’s promises, really? I really want to offer a pithy response, a thought that drips with wit and insight. You know, a quotable quote.

Instead, all I have to humbly offer is this life I’ve lived so far. These 46 years filled with such heartache and loss that it could be described as a tragedy. You know, that kind of life that some peer into and compare to their own, only to realize maybe their struggles aren’t quite so bad after all.

Yeah, I’m that one. At least my life isn’t like . . . mine. (Truly, this has been said to me.)

The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.” Lamentations 3:19-20, NLT

And yet . . . as I look back over four decades of living, I see a different story. I see one unfolding and steeped in hope. I see a thread that links everything together —the sorrow, the grief, the despair, and hope. Perhaps in my younger years it was thin and hard to see, but that thread has grown thicker and more resilient with each passing year.

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord  never end! His mercies never cease.” Lamentations 3:21-22, NLT

I’m learning to see my life as a miracle. While I may not have experienced the kind of miracle as Jairus did when Jesus raised his daughter from the dead (Matthew 5:21-24, 35-43), or the healing of the woman who had been bleeding for over a decade (Matthew 5:25-34), or gained back my sight or my ability to walk . . . I’m a miracle all the same.

That thread? The miracle?

Faith: the gift of believing in something, in Someone, bigger. Bigger that my fears, bigger than my worries, bigger than life.

Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” Matthew 5:36, NIV

I’ve peered into the blackest of nights and touched the searing hot pain of loss, and survived. I’ve learned to breath in the ashes of despair and traverse my way through the valley of death. I was dead, and now I’m alive. I was lost, and now I’m found.

So as I think about God’s promises and whether or not I believe them, my answer is of course I do! Not perfectly and without worry at times, but I know Jesus loves me and has a big, big house with lots and lots of room. I know He’s called me to go and make disciples and sent His Spirit to lead and guide me. After all, the Bible tells me so and, Scripture, the inspired Word of God, does not lie.

. . . in the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time.” Titus 1:2, NIV

I believe in God’s promises because I believe in God. I believe He is real and not a distant grandfatherly-type hovering somewhere above us watching as we race about. I believe God is intimately involved with every detail of my life —the good, the bad, and the ugly, and He is squeezing good out of every.single.drop.

But what does happen when my circumstances appear contrary to His promises? How do I know what is true when pain or fear stares me straight in the eye? How do I believe in His promises when my heart aches? I always return to His character. What do I know to be true about Him?

He doesn’t lie.

He has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11).

He is sovereign and knows exactly what He is doing (Isaiah 55:9).

And He loves. He loves me. He loves you. Scripture says, in fact, that He is love; everything He does is motivated by His love. If I believe that truth about God’s character, then I can believe in every promise —the ones I know and those I don’t. The ones I see, and those I don’t. The ones I experience, and those yet to happen.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8, NIV

Do I believe in God’s promises? I declare a resounding yes! because I see the work He has done in me and all around me. I’ve experienced the healing touch of His Son, Jesus. I’ve tasted the goodness of His Word as it’s come alive through my life. I’ve felt the overwhelming depth of God’s love for me through the power of the Spirit and the presence of those who love Him, too. I hear whispers of hope through the stories of those who have gone before but walked in faith with their eyes firmly fixed on Him. People like Abraham and Joseph, Mary and Esther, Job and Paul . . . and me.

I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, though I am not skilled with words.” Psalm 71:15, NLT

What about you? Do you believe in God’s promises? Really? Jump over to our Facebook page and share your thoughts. We’d love to hear from you!

“God, You Promised!”

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Welcome to Facets, friend. This is my (Jennifer) favorite virtual hidey hole for a steamy hot cuppa, a few thoughts, and engaging conversation, if you like. We’ve put away 2017, and now the ink falls to a fresh page in 2018. Last week Tracy shared her thoughts on God’s promises here (you won’t want to miss it!). Kim’s post next week will, as always, reveal her precious heart. Pop in Tuesdays for new posts, or better yet, be sure to sign up to receive the latest in your inbox each week!


When I turned this month’s question over in my mind, I realized I had other questions immediately trying to dog-pile the poor thing. Do I believe God’s promises? Yes! Wait. I think so. God, what are your promises? When did I last take a look at those? Which ones can I recall? And which ones are for me? Ideas I thought were biblical floated through my mind, but confusion settled in. Partial verses swirled around like frosty breath in sub-zero air in a winter wonderland. My own personal revised version of scripture mixed with actual verses, and that’s when I needed to pause.

I thought about creating a list of God’s promises, but that didn’t seem right. Would you—or anyone—take my word that the list was worth anything or true at all? Should you? Probably not.

A Promise…
I know a promise’s value and worth lies somewhere within the promise itself. Some are better than others. As Mary Poppins would say, “That’s a pie crust promise. Easily made, easily broken.”¹ When we look at the Bible, some are for specific people in time, some reveal the nature of God to us, and some are for us today. More importantly, I know a promise is nearly completely dependent upon the one making it! When someone speaks a promise but never makes good on it, we question their integrity or sanity (or both).

But these aren’t ordinary promises; they are God’s.

A Promise Maker…and Keeper!
For me to trust any of God’s promises, I needed to see His true character. If even one promise was broken, then placing trust in any of them would be foolish. If God is even a little wishy-washy, I don’t want to trust Him. Period. Who would? Maybe the whole list would be full of half-truths or bait-and-switch moves, right? So what does the Bible say?

Joshua, who experienced the leadership of Moses, up-close-and-personal, testifies to the promises of God:

Not one good thing that ADONAI had spoken of to the household of Isra’el failed to happen; it all took place. Joshua 21:45 CJB

“Not one good thing.” Every one of the promises was fulfilled. Joshua would know (Numbers 11:28).

God was truthful in in Moses’ time, but what about now? Are the promises for a group of people in a land far away who are long dead and gone?

I’m thankful Paul writes

20 For however many promises God has made, they all find their “Yes” in connection with him; that is why it is through him that we say the “Amen” when we give glory to God. 21 Moreover, it is God who sets both us and you in firm union with the Messiah; he has anointed us, 22 put his seal on us, and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee for the future. 2 Corinthians 1:20-22

God’s foundational promise to us was made on a hill outside Jerusalem on an execution stake. Jesus, the God-man, at the cross is our covenant with God fulfilled (Hebrews 2:17). Then He promised those who love Jesus a “seal…a guarantee for the future,” Holy Spirit in us. From Genesis to Revelation, the story is all about one promise: redemption. Ultimately, He promised to come for us, and He did. This world, as messed up and distorted as it is, is part of the deal, but it’s not the end. There’s more, and the Redeemer waits for us to choose Him, to ask Him to intervene. The promise of redemption is real and for everyone. Better yet, we can be sure it was made to us and kept!

B-b-b-but, God…

God makes and keeps promises. In faith on a good day, I can believe that. But I’m human and faith-challenged sometimes. Often I have a lot in common with “doubting Thomas” and the desperate father of the boy controlled by a spirit (John 20; Mark 9).

“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

How would I, or anyone watching, know I believe His promises? I answer that question differently today than in the past. I thought listening to and repeating truth equaled belief. Truth informs belief, but believing God’s promises is more than that. Trusting the words I read to be true begins to get at it. Living like it’s true—thinking, speaking, and acting according to the belief—that’s when believing the promises has legs!

When I look at the promises I want to remember:

* God’s promises are written down in the Bible.
* God’s character is revealed in the promises He makes and keeps.
* His promises to me show His love for me.

I’ve been on the hunt for some of God’s individual promises (in addition to the foundational two: the cross and the Spirit). Some are what I might call gifts, or “blanket promises.”

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a CSB

I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6 CSB

Grace and the good work are His to give and do.

Then there are promises I participate in. These are my favorites because they speak to the relationship with Him that I desperately need…and need to cultivate.

All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. Matthew 11:29 CSB

When I choose to learn God’s ways and do them, as Jesus teaches and the Spirit empowers, there is the promise of rest. As one who often strives for so many things, including perfection, this promise means more to me than so many others.

Friends, I wish I could sit across the table from you at my coffee shop hidey hole and listen to all your thoughts on God and His promises…the best and most difficult…your heart on all of it. Since we may not get the chance, I’d be thankful if you took time to share what you’re thinking in the comments below, at the Facebook Page, or privately. Your thoughts, experiences, and heart are precious, and I hope you know that.

Thanks for reading!

 

Signature, Jennifer Howe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

¹ Mary Poppins. Walt Disney Productions, 1964.