Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

Do You See What I See?

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Welcome to FACETS of Faith. Merry Christmas! I (Tracy) pray you see Christ in meaningful fashion as you read each of our perspectives this month. It’s a sweet season. Slow down. Savor Him. Look for Him with intention. Lord, help Your precious children see You for all You are to them and others. Reveal Yourself in this season where hearts are open in a special, tender way. In Jesus’ name, amen.

When you consider Christ, what do you see?

I see what I need depending upon what season I am in. I’m not talking about Christmas, Easter, winter or spring. I’m referring to my state of mind. Where am I at in life? How am I feeling about that? What are my present needs? Hopes? Hurts? Aspirations?

Do you see what I see?

What I see is who I need Jesus to be in that very moment.

I’m a woman. My needs fluctuate. You too? I can be on top of a mountain and want to twirl with Jesus like Julie Andrews singing, The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music. The hills alive, because I feel alive. Fresh, green, vibrant as the landscape echoing songs of jubilation back to me. You’re alive! Doesn’t if feel fabulous to breathe deep and take it all in? The score dramatic as my life and music create a crescendo, a beautiful chorus where people want to join in. In these moments, I see my need for a Dance Partner to twirl with me.

Not every day is a Julie Andrews kind of day. Sometimes it’s more like Alanas Morissette. I hate the world today. Angsty. Angry. Grrr. You wake up scrubbing sleep from your eyes, realize you are out of coffee, stub your toe on the sharp edges of your coffee table, creating the need to hop out your pain. All the while you think, Maybe I should go back to bed and toss the covers over my head, darkness beneath the blankets matching bleakness of this day. In these moments, I see my need for an Encourager to move me from sulking to singing.

Perhaps the darkness is more serious than a minor toe-stubbing nuisance. A diagnosis that feels gloomy. A marriage in disrepair. A dream dead. Loved ones lost, not knowing a Savior. In times of lament, I see Him as my greatest Comfort, the One I cannot do without.

That’s life, right? Ups AND downs. How do we deal with all that? We don’t get to pluck the good out and leave behind the things we’d rather not have. That’s not how life works, unfortunately. God said, in this life we would have trouble (John 16:33). Sometimes, that’s what we have.

But we also have hope. And we have a Savior. We have salvation for our souls when we say “yes” to Jesus and surrender our lives to Him. We have salvation for each and every day. The hard days when we want to sit in a puddle and fling mud all over ourselves to match our mood. The good days when our hearts are bursting full of joy, and we get to celebrate with the Only One who really knows what it took to get to the top of life’s mountains.

Do you see what I see?

 I see a God who sees me and you.

We could try to explain to others every step that stretched us out of our comfort zone as we climbed that mountain. But we don’t need to explain to God. He gets it. Because He gets us. It is glorious that He gets us.

The fact that He gets me, gets me through.

He’s also the first One I want to run to when I’ve got good news. He is my Confidant. I can confide in Him about ANYTHING. He is trustworthy. If you don’t know that, I pray you come to know it. If you do, I pray He gives you fresh revelation of that truth today.

Do you see what I see?

I see a trustworthy God.

Then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.”  Luke 1:42 NKJV

Above are the words Elizabeth spoke to her pregnant cousin Mary─Mary, the one who needed to trust God with her reputation and her future.

I love that Elizabeth didn’t use her inside voice. She proclaimed in a loud voice words to the effect of, Mary, do you realize how blessed you are? You carry the Christ! Who get’s to do that? You are carrying THE Blessing! Can you believe how blessed you are?

Elizabeth saw the blessing before Christ was born. Her attentive eyes of faith saw the beauty Mary carried in her. She saw Christ, our blessing.

Do you see what I see?

I see Christ our blessing. Do you see it too? Do you see Him as a blessing? Do you see that sweet precious baby born to a virgin as a blessing? He is you know. Even if you know Him and you love Him, do you really understand the depth of His blessing as He came through the womb of an innocent, pure, normal-until-that-day young woman?

It makes me wonder what Jesus saw in Mary that He would give her that kind of trust.

Mary faced hard circumstances. Judgement, I’m sure, from people who didn’t understand her situation. It was rather unbelievable, like many things of faith. God isn’t logical, practical, or fully comprehensible. It’s what makes Him God and requires our faith.

Do you see what I see?

I see a God who sees beyond who we are to whom we will become.

God saw a young woman whom He knew with His help would be strong enough to carry Him and care for Him in spite of what others might think. He gave her a close confidant in Joseph. God knew she’d need him to help her fulfill her calling. Angels were sent to Joseph too. He knew what God asked of him as well. Sacrifice. They both sacrificed much so that one day their precious baby boy could become our Sacrifice, the Sacrifice that saved the world —including you and me.

Do you see what I see?

Baby born to save the world through every day people.

Without the courage, trust, and belief of Mary and Joseph, we wouldn’t have our Christ. (Admittedly, God would have used someone else to deliver us. But because they were courageous, He didn’t have to.) What courage, trust, and belief is God calling you to? What won’t the world have if you don’t step into it?

“But why is this granted to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?”  Luke 1:43 NKJV

Do you see what I see?

I see our Lord.

Like Elizabeth, we were given a Lord. He’s ahead of us in this matter. Waiting in the wings for each of us to say yes to Him as Leader of our lives. He wants to be, if we’ll let Him. We get choice. We get to choose Him as Lord (or not).

He’ll meet us on our most difficult days, like He ended up doing for his precious mama the day she looked on and saw her son, the Son, hanging on a cross willing to die for you and me. Before He did so, Jesus made sure His mama would be well-cared for by His closest companion, John, the disciple whom He loved. My friend, John, the one I love. I need you to love my mama. I know you will. I trust you to care for her. You’ve learned from me. Now take care of her. She’s going to need you. And I know you won’t let me down. That is a dark, desperate mama day. Literally, at Jesus’ death the skies turned dark (Mark 15:33).  Mary’s Lord made sure she wasn’t left alone.

When Mary sat in Elizabeth’s kitchen (where I visualize her because that’s where good conversation often takes place) and heard these words, I don’t think she could have imagined that dark day.

“For indeed, as soon as the voice of your greeting sounded in my ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy. Blessed is she who believed, for these will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.”  Luke 1:44-45 NKJV

Do you see what I see?

I see blessing born from belief.

Mary was told she would have a child, and He would save the world. He did. And He does.  Jesus saves.

John the Baptist leaped in his mother’s womb for joy at the encounter with Christ. The stirring inside Elizabeth revealed to her Mary carried the Savior of the world.

Mary was given the immense privilege to care for the long-awaited Promise. Scripture fulfilled because she said “yes”.

Do you see what I see?

I see Jesus, our source of joy.

When we recognize Jesus, we see our source of all joy. Even a babe in a womb recognized it and leaped. Nothing else can bring joy like Jesus. The world will present all sorts of false narratives about what brings joy: buy me, try me, play me, let me play with you, idolatry.

Make no mistake. Joy to the world comes only through Christ.

When I look at Christ, I see joy. I see Him look upon us, me, with adoration in spite of my messy, muddled up attempts at living life for Him. I imagine His eyes twinkling as He looks upon me. She’s mine.  That one with the freckles. She makes me smile. Knowing He delights in me in spite of my sin (not because of it, in spite of it) brings me joy. He loves you in spite of your sin too; I hope you bask in great joy over that truth.

What struck me today as I wondered about what I see when I look at Christ is how He chose to introduce Himself to you and me. A baby. A baby born to a previously unknown, unpretentious, betrothed woman who the town probably thought of as tainted trash, because they couldn’t see the truth. A baby born to a virgin.

Jesus could have chosen any way to come. He chose this one. I believe He really wants us to notice how He came.

Do you see what I see?

I see a Savior who made Himself vulnerable and humble. That’s how He came.

Not a warrior. Not a knight. Not a king the way we’d expect THE King. When I look at Christ as a baby born to brave, young Mary I see Him as vulnerable and humble.

I don’t want to move on from that. I think that’s His main point to this piece.

He came in vulnerability and humility.

He is our model. He is our ultimate Mentor. He wants me and you to live vulnerable and humble too. It’s how people will see Him.

Vulnerability and humility are not in vogue. That’s okay. The things of Christ aren’t necessarily in vogue with society. The Pharisees couldn’t see Christ because He came in such a vulnerable, humble way. They expected some grand entrance, or at least a grand gesture. Can we have a little fan-fare please?

That wasn’t the way of Christ.

He chose a different fashion to reveal Himself to us. He expects us to do life different too.

When I look at Christ today, I see vulnerability and humility and the blueprint on how to live my life for Him. Christmas, Easter, and every seeming insignificant day. Maybe it’s in the seeming insignificant days we reflect Him most.

This Christmas, I pray we respond like Mary when He calls us to Him and His purposes. I pray we see Him and we help others see Him too.

And Mary said,

I’m bursting with God-news;

            I’m dancing the song of my Savior God.

God took one good look at me, and look what happened─

            I’m the most fortunate woman on earth!

What God has done for me will never be forgotten,

            the God whose very name is holy, set apart from all others.

His mercy flows in wave after wave

            on those who are in awe before him.

He bared his arm and showed his strength,

            scattered the bluffing braggarts.

He knocked tyrants off their high horses,

            pulled victims out of the mud.

The starving poor sat down to a banquet;

            the callous rich were left out in the cold.

He embraced his chosen child, Israel;

            he remembered and piled on the mercies, piled them high.

It’s exactly what he promised,

            beginning with Abraham and right up to now.

─Luke 1:46-55 The Message

What do you see this Christmas as you look toward Christ?

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Can I Trust God with My Fear?

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This month, I (Tracy) get to share with our FACETS readers one of my favorite people. Meet my friend Megan. She is kind, humble, and attentive and attuned to God’s leading. One of the things I love most about her is her willingness to be brave, in spite of fear, obediently stepping into what God has for her. I have been blessed to know her, and I’d love to pass that blessing on to you, our readers.  Praying you will bravely step through any residual fear in your lives, as you read and are encouraged by Megan’s story.

Fear has been present in many different forms throughout my life. When I was 3 it was anyone (and I mean anyone) who would say “hi” to me. I would hide behind my mom and cry until they went away. My older brother was the opposite. He loved to yell “hi!” to all we passed and then loudly comment how rude they were when they didn’t respond. We were quite the pair.

As I grew up, though, the fears I faced slowly changed form to things like grades, the idea of perpetual singleness, “what if they knew”, back surgery and, sadly, leading worship. So, when I was asked to write in response to Can I trust God when I’m afraid?, it seemed rather appropriate given my long list. It also, though, led to many pages of scribbled words, songs, scriptures and generally incoherent thoughts as I tried to piece together where God was leading. My brain screamed “YES! Of course you can trust God!”, my heart right there behind it wanting so badly to agree, but my actions – they expose the truth.

The truth is, my fear is often much bigger than my trust.

I never thought of myself as a fearful person, even with all the previous listed items. The day someone asked me to help sing with the worship band and my prayers to God didn’t seem to be leading me away from it, was when I came to terms with my unreasonable and unexplainable fear. Standing with a microphone my heart races.   My voice quivers.  All I have practiced slips away. What remains is my doubt and an overwhelming fear. I hear every shaky note magnified by the microphone, hands trembling. Why can I worship freely, joyfully and confidently until someone hands me this silly microphone? It is as if every insecurity and fear I have ever felt chooses that moment to come up to the surface, leaving me incredibly vulnerable, blocking the praises of my heart.

There is something about being vulnerable –exposed, admitting you are imperfect, opening up to rejection.  It is terrifying. It leaves me wanting to be just vulnerable enough I appear real and relatable, while hiding just enough I don’t really have to fear rejection or judgement. “What if they actually knew the real me? All of me?” I want to control my vulnerability, and the response of others. In these moments, my fear is much bigger than my trust.

So, can I trust God in these moments of fear? If I let go of my control, my pride, and my expectations and trust God with all my fears, then what am I left with?

Him.

I am left with my Heavenly Father. My Father who knows me, knows every thought, every fear, and He walks right beside me through all of them – never leaving me. He sees where I am today and he sees me on the other side, already victorious.

This is illustrated well in the story from Matthew 14 where Jesus sent His disciples ahead of Him, across the lake and said He would meet them there. He went up the hills alone to pray, and as night fell, He started walking across the water to meet them. Meanwhile, the disciples were in the boat in the middle of the lake fighting through stormy waves. They were terrified! Then, along comes Jesus, walking by them on the water and His disciples cried out in fear. Jesus said, “Do not be afraid. Take courage. I am here.”

Did Jesus send them out alone into a storm to battle on their own and just show up when He no longer thought they could handle it themselves? I don’t think so. He was asking them to trust Him.

When the disciples saw Jesus walking on water, Peter called out to Him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” Peter was able to walk towards Jesus on the water until he let himself look back to the storm, was overcome with fear and began to sink.

When Peter called out for help, Jesus immediately reached out to grab him. He didn’t let him drown. Jesus climbed into the boat with them, and His presence stopped the storm.

When Peter’s eyes were focused on Jesus, trusting Jesus, his storm was calmed (and he walked on water!). It was only when he allowed himself to look away he began to fear. Trusting in Jesus overpowered his fear.

I can trust God with my fear, because He is more powerful than my fear. While my fear may come and go, when I cry out to the Lord “Help!” and I focus my eyes on Him, my fear has no power over me. He will not let me drown.

Take reassurance from God’s message to the Israelites, His chosen people, in Isaiah 41:10 (NLT):

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Trust the Lord with your fear, He sees your victory.

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Trusting God When Fear Strikes Out

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We’re talking about fear and trust this month here at Facets of Faith. Tracy and Jen have shared. Click on their names if you missed their posts. Next week we have a wonderful guest so be sure to come back! Today, it’s my (Kim’s) turn. I figure we can jump right in with a confession. That’s always a great way to start (she says, dripping with sarcasm).

I know, nothing like opening an article with baring my heart and soul with a confession, but here it goes.

Sometimes I’m afraid to embrace life. I’m not afraid to live – I honestly don’t have any control over how my heart beats or the rhythm of my breathing. I used to wonder about that during the early days of grief, those days following my daughter’s death.

I remember those earliest moments when all I could do was focus on my breathing – the almost annoying pressure I felt to take air in and breath it out. I didn’t consciously think about breathing, but I remember those moments when the physical act took all of my attention.

Grief is ugly and heavy and yet somehow beautiful. It exposes the deepest parts of our souls, the most tender, the most vulnerable, the most precious. The tears that flow, that trickle down my cheeks were evidence of the love I have for my sweet Emma, for the years we had together and all of the memories that would never take place.

Fear became my bedfellow in many ways and for many years but I learned that God is bigger, He is stronger, He is more powerful than my greatest nightmare, than the moment I buried my daughter.

I thought as years passed and God healed my heart that the fear would subside. That the weight of grief would lesson and somehow I would return to normal.

Normal is actually overrated and illusive, isn’t it? Because as the years marched on, the fear that gripped my heart began to morph into something I didn’t know, something I didn’t expect. As the fear that surrounded me after Emma died began to subside, its cousin took its place. A darker, more insidious bedfellow that poked and prodded and tried to steal away the peace that God had given to me.

The fear made its presence known when life seemed to be rolling along at a reasonable pace. When I thought I had this living-with-grief thing figured out. That’s when it would start to whisper.

You know it could happen again. You could lose Kelsey, your other daughter. What if something happen to her?

Anxiety would follow, reminding me of all I lost and the emotions I felt as the fire destroyed my home.

Did you turn the stove off? Are you sure the fire alarms work?

Anxiety then became action as I walked around and checked the alarms regardless of the fact that I knew full well they worked.

The whispers grew louder and a little more frequent as I started to try new things.

Are you really laughing right now? Don’t you remember what happened to your house? To your pets? To your daughter? To your marriage?

Fear tapped it’s neighbor, shame, on its shoulder and the two of them unleashed their power.

If you enjoy life, you’re going to forget her. It’ll be as if she never lived. Is that what you want?

The worry and anxiety tried to suffocate my faith. It felt stronger. It seemed stronger. But was it? Really?

As my feelings grew and my heart healed, I realized the emotions that had been numb suddenly felt as if the faucet turned full force and my soul didn’t know how to absorb it all. Fear’s fingers squeezed the tender shoot of life that had begun to grow.

Fear gripped me. It paralyzed me. And there were days I let fear win. I hid and remained silent. I went through the motions of life without really living. On the outside I looked normal, functioning, engaging with the world. But on the inside? Where life mattered? I felt shriveled, destined to live in the dark.

This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust Him.” Psalm 91:2

Then one day I began to hear a different whisper, one that I knew, that I recognized.

Come near, I am here.

I never left you.

I see you. I see your tears. I weep with you. 

I am stronger.

I will protect you. I do protect you.

I love you. I delight in you.

I began to read my journals from those early days after Emma died and saw, through my own handwriting, the miraculous things that God had done. The peace that settled my heart. The joy when I sensed Him near. The truth that anchored my soul as it was tossed about by grief and loss.

 I will never leave you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

I am near. (Psalm 145:18)

I see you, your tears, your broken heart. (Psalm 56:8)

I am stronger. (Proverbs 18:10)

I am your protector. (Psalm 121)

I delight in you. (Zephaniah 3:17)

Those familiar words began to seep into my soul and snuff out the darkness. The light of His love shone into the hidden places and walled off spaces as I let His healing grace in. I learned God isn’t a bully, He won’t force His way in. But if we choose to trust Him, if we make the conscious decision to open our hearts and let Him in, He will fill us with a peace that truly passes all understanding and set an anchor for our soul through the craziest of storms.

So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” Hebrews 6:18-19

I had to decide, once and for all, whether or not to believe God’s truth. I had to decide either He lied about everything, or His truth reigned over it all. Even over death. Even over loss. Even over fear.

I chose to believe.

I chose to believe that His Word is real and can guide me through my fear.

I chose to believe that He loves me, even when I fail.

I chose to believe that He delights in me simply because I’m His.

I chose to believe, once and for all, that He truly is bigger than my fear, and I don’t need to live as a ‘fraidy cat.

So now I’m beginning to embrace life in all of its messy gloriousness, and it is good.

How do you trust God in the face of fear?

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