Welcome to FACETS, friend. I (Jennifer) am so glad you stopped to read on this month’s topic, Who do You (God) say that I am? We’re thinking about our identity through the eyes of God, and the thoughts promise to be rich, personal, and encouraging. You can read Tracy’s thoughts here. We’re holding space for you. The Facets have thoughts to share, but your heart-shares are important to the conversation. Join us?

Who am I?

In elementary school I thought the meaning of my name was everything. Later, I believed what I said, thought, and did defined me. As an adult I introduce myself to others and share sound bites to communicate who I am.

We live in a culture that tries to group, categorize, and “type” everything out there. We describe people with those labels, and we often seek them out.

Female. Survivor. Control freak. Tony’s wife. Two adult sons’ mom. Animal lover. Singer. Writer-editor. Enneagram 5 with balanced wings (looking like a 1 in a tight spot). The rare INTJ combination. Facebook quiz-taker for more specialized personality-type information. (Who doesn’t want to know which character comes up in the Lord of the Rings Meyers-Briggs quiz?) Something down deep says, “Tell me who I am!”

All the wrong places…

We look in strange places for affirmation and clarity, don’t we? I don’t put much weight in the online quizzes but probably give them more time and energy than they deserve. I’m more likely to look to my relationships.

Husband, tell me—am I good enough? Do you still love me after all these years?
Son, I spent so much energy “not being your friend.” Do you still want to spend time with me?
Friend, do you value our time together? Do you value me?
Supervisor, is my work good enough? Am I useful?

These aren’t the exact words, but in quiet moments when I examine my relationships, I feel emotions from thoughts like these surfacing.

The company we keep…

Relationship. We might define ourselves by the company we keep. I always reminded my boys, “You might become who you hang with—” (Proverbs 13:20 ). When I married I worked through an identity shift every time I signed my name (I wrote some goofy hybrid of a letter for weeks every time I got to my last name). Now I was part of the new family my husband and I became. I joined communities of people, too: a church, a neighborhood, a workplace. Because I identified with these people in some kind of personal or professional relationship, my identity had slivers of connection that seemingly belonged to them.

The primary relationship…

Reasons and seasons can shape our friendships and connections. Once upon a time I had long, beautiful conversations with a friend nearly every day, and then life stages and availability changed things. Once upon a time feels very far away some days. Do you have a relationship like that? A little faded but precious nonetheless? The reason or season we connect can shift, and it can be painful in the “letting go,” right? (So you know, I am *not* a fan of the “for a time” thing when it’s an excuse to relieve brokenness in a relationship!)

Know what I know? There is only one (1!) relationship that transcends all reasons and seasons: the completely loving, sacrificial, adoption into to our heavenly Father’s family through Jesus’ death and resurrection and the moment-by-moment counsel and partnership with His Spirit. If this is permanence both here and in eternity, I’m in! By this adoption, I know my identity changes significantly forever.

I am…

When I humbly come to the throne of the King of the universe as a daughter, the relationship to the all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present, merciful, and gracious God—Whew! Think about THAT!—I’m identified with and by Him!

He says I am—

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it—the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus  Romans 2:21-24

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God  John 1:12

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth…For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.  John 1:14, 16

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser…I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.  John 15:1, 5

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.  John 15:15

“But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me.  John 15:26

I don’t know if you see a “John 15” theme here, but I do. That’s one place in Scripture where we can find golden nuggets that call out the goodness of God in relationship to Him. There are so many places, though! The Word of God specifically expresses the heart, mind, and will of God. Drink it in, friend! Regularly.

Fill the Void

We should fill that identity void with the richness of our relationship to our Father, the Creator and King of the universe, the God with us and within us. (Mmm—that beautiful Trinity that our God is! That’s how He gives all of Himself to us!) We are refined and defined by our relationship to Him.

What do you think about that? I might cry when I begin to get a small glimpse or grasp of it all. You, too? Share below or at our Facebook page.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ponder this:
Where do you look to define your identity?
Who or what tells you who you are—really?
Which relationship speaks the loudest to your mind and heart about your identity?
How do you know who’s telling you who you are?
Do you know (and believe!) who you are in God’s eyes?