Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

How Does God Respond To You?

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The FACETS of Faith team is excited to introduce you to Ever Moore. She is a dynamic, joyful woman with an enthusiasm for life that is contagious!  We are so blessed to share her with you. Her story is a powerful one, like the tales you might read in an adventure book.  You’ll see right away that she has a gift for story telling. Here’s a bit of hers.

Hi ladies! I want to start by sharing one of my favorite verses.  When I consider God’s responses in my life, it feels relevant.

 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”─Romans 15:13

So how does God respond to me? This is a tough question but also one of my favorites. It allows me to share the goodness of God. I have seen God respond to me in so many ways. For example, I have experienced physical response through prayer where people or myself received healing on the spot.

I have also seen God respond with a big yes to my prayers and a very big no to a lot of stuff in my life. Have you ever prayed for something for awhile and God gives you the opposite of what you’re praying for? This happens to me all the time. Here is just one of the big no’s in my life that turned out to be the best no I ever received.

My mother and I are very close. I wanted to live by her for the rest of my life. My mama and I were like best friends. We enjoyed fetching water together. Even the 2-hour one-way walk to the farm, items perched on our heads and babies balanced on our backs, seemed like a short journey. Twelve years ago I remember praying for a husband who was going to take care of me and my boy Sam. Little did I know the answer to my prayer was going to be a handsome, blue-eyed, tall man all the way from Illinois who traveled to northwestern Zambia.

Without God this encounter would not have happened. With God I found my husband who came to the dusty, dry place no one wants to move to. Even the locals have this saying, “I feel like a mushroom. I was born here, grow here, and I will get rotten here.” Ha ha ha! It’s actually fun for the locals. When they say that, we usually laugh.

My husband Ryan was in the Peace Corps. He lived in my village for two years. The first time I saw him sitting on the tree stump I actually thought I saw Jesus! Ha ha ha!  It was definitely love at first sight for both of us. We dated for over a year before he asked me to marry him. I actually forgot the part that he was not from my village and not really from Zambia or Africa at all.  We never really talked about that, I think because I really didn’t know any other world apart from my world because it felt perfect.

The night of our wedding people celebrated with dancing and singing. When most people were celebrating, my mom cried all night long. I also grieved for the life I was leaving behind, but one thing I have always held onto through everything in life is that My God does not make mistakes. Everything He does works for good. That hope was the only thing that even made me step on those foreign moving stairs at the airport. I dropped my bags and stepped onto those crazy moving stairs until I heard, “Madam you left your bags!”

There is freedom that comes with knowing God is my pilot, and I just need to sit and enjoy the ride. There will be bumps on the flight, of course, but I have to trust my Captain. I never knew in a million years I would be raising my kids without my mother. It’s very tough some days, but my mother and I are even closer than before. We talk almost every day on the phone. I visit home nearly every year, and I am still working on her coming to visit me here. She keeps telling me she can’t, because she is so scared of flying. As much as I wanted to live by my mom, get married in Zambia, and stay where all was familiar, God had a whole different plan than the one I was praying for.

Today, my marriage to this awesome man who is the father of my 4 amazing children has blessed so many people in my village, including my first son whom I had before I met Ryan. My son had a cyst on his brain that would have killed him without medical treatment. God knew I had to marry someone from so far away so my son could get saved too, like the prayer was already answered before we even prayed it.

What I have come to realize is God will never stop fighting for what He has promised us. It started by our King dying on the cross so we can receive salvation.

So, if God was willing to die for you, what else do you think He wouldn’t do for you?

If you are waiting for God to respond to you, don’t lose hope. He is never late. He is always on time. Look back upon your life. Look at the highs and the lows, and you will see God has always been with you through it all. He will never leave nor forsake you. He is on your side.

Don’t forget what team we are playing on. We are on the offense team. You and I know we win in the end no matter what obstacles are in our way today. We have to choose joy and gratitude, because we know that the Lord our God has got us.

Now I would like you to repeat this after me, “No matter where I am, God is always with me.  He will respond to my prayers according to His will not mine.”

I have so much more to share with you ladies, I hope soon. I didn’t even get to the good stuff yet.

Join the conversation on our Facebook page.  We’d especially love it if you’d encourage our guest contributor this month!

Connection Can Lead to Correction

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Hello, friend! Welcome back! If you haven’t seen the preceding posts on this month’s topic, you can catch Tracy’s here Jennifer’s here. We hope you love the topic of connection. Has it been encouraging to you, too? It’s our honor to introduce you to our friend, Lisa Kohut, this week at FACETS. She is a professional in her field, and we think you might like the wisdom nuggets she’s got for you.

Connection Before Correction (Guest)

L.A. Law, Law & Order, The Practice, Boston Legal, and Ally McBeal are just a few of the many TV shows about justice. Our culture’s fascination with this type of shows reveals the heart’s desire and passion for justice, which is a form of correction.

Before answering this topic’s question, I think it’s important to define the most important terms we’re talking about (correction and connection).

In Hebrew, the word musar means Fatherly correction, and correction is intended to be a form of discipline, which is very important in developing character and self-control. It’s to fix an error.

According to the Webster’s Dictionary, connection is “to become joined; it’s a link, relationship, an association, or an attachment.” Clearly, connection is about relationship in the sense of being joined to someone. We were definitely created in the image of a very relational Being—Our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit—who invites us to join with Him through love.

1 John 4:18 (NIV) states “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” I believe this scripture answers the question for us. If we begin to prioritize and emphasize correction before connection or rules and punishment before relationship and connection, we will be in the business of creating fear instead of love.

God is in the business of destroying or eradicating fear because it causes more sin instead of less. Holy Spirit is clearly in the business of creating bonds with us and between us, which is why we even have a bonding hormone called oxytocin. The more bonded or connected we are to God and others, the less intimidating correction and rules are.

Connection is what helps us know we don’t have to go through the correction alone. For example, I used to work in a therapeutic school with high school students who were struggling emotionally, behaviorally, or academically; and when they were rebelling or acting outside of their true identity in some way, those of us who already had relationships with them were the ones the other staff and these students would call on while they were in crisis. Relationship or love was the only thing that could reach them.

Jesus was our perfect model, and He always connected before correcting. As a matter of fact, often His connection or love was so strong the person corrected themselves and correction wasn’t needed from the outside, which is the best model.

In Luke 19, Jesus saw Zaccheus in the tree and knew he was a chief tax collector who had stolen from people and cheated them. Jesus noticed Zaccheus and told him to come down from the tree because He was going to be a guest in his home that day. Jesus didn’t correct Zaccheus; instead, He connected first by expressing His desire to spend time eating dinner with Zaccheus at his home. Jesus’ love and connection provoked Zaccheus to confess and repent, offering to give half of his wealth to the poor and to give back four times to anyone he had cheated.

Many of us have a knee jerk reaction to the mistakes of others with some form of punishment or judgment for fear that, if we don’t, they won’t learn. The true key to changing behavior is to first respond in and from love and connection in partnership with Holy Spirit. Then we watch the person’s heart change.

Whether it’s your children, co-worker, spouse, parents or friends the answer is connection before correction. It does matter! Let’s make the decision to connect first and correct last, but also trust that sometimes the connection is the correction when the connection alone causes one to avoid doing things that would cause disappointment to someone you’re in relationship with.

Finally, both connection and correction are important, but for relationship sake, let’s implement them in their right order. Let’s focus on connecting and building relationships before we move over to correction.

Our team would love to hear your thoughts. Please share below or at the Facebook Page.

Guest: Dr. Lisa Kohut

Intimacy: Turn the Lights On

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Hey, friend! Our topic this month has been intimacy, and many of us know the challenges that can swirl around it. Tracy and I (Jennifer) shared thoughts (click on the names to read the posts). Today I am so very honored to introduce you to my very precious friend, Eliza LaBelle. She has spoken truth into my life and the lives of many women. She is brave and bold and gentle and offers truth and wisdom when she’s invited. The Facets team invited her here because we believe her thoughts on intimacy in marriage will bless you. Please welcome her to this beautiful place.

How do we grow in intimacy? (Guest)
Intimacy. Yikes. What does the thought of intimacy spark in you? Does it draw your memory back to a profoundly beautiful moment with your spouse or does it make you cringe a little? Marital intimacy is a window into the soul. This window, however, is often shrouded by shame, fear and pain. What was meant to be beautiful often lends itself to heartache and disappointment.

“For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…” Ephesians 2:14

The dividing wall of hostility, constructed from a broken past, creates a barrier between you and your husband. Each brick a hurt, hang-up, abuse, grief or disappointment that separates you from being seen, known, and loved in the way that you long for. They inhibit you from fully giving yourself to your spouse and rob you of peace.

What if together you deconstruct the wall? Can you imagine, instead, a beautiful winding road to intimacy paved with bricks of your story? What if healing happened while wrapped in the arms of your beloved?

That’s my story.

“They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated…” Isaiah 61:4

“Do you trust me? Do you trust our marriage?” This gentle question asked in the dark of night exposed a truth that my husband and I needed to talk though. Just as our relationship with God is a covenant, so is our marriage.  We agreed that night to trust the covenant, which meant trusting each other with our stories, our sin, our successes and failures. While easy early on in our marriage, lack of intentionality eroded trust. There was not a big event, just time taking its toll on a tired couple. That conversation was a turning point in our marriage. There was a wall between us that needed to be dismantled with tenderness and care.  We were 10 years into a lifetime, loved each other and loved being married but knew that there was more.

When God invites us to revisit the ancient ruins it is not for the purpose of preservation it is about rebuilding.

“I am making all things new.” Revelation 21:5

That promise gives me so much hope. I am making your heart new. I am making his heart new. I am making your marriage new. I am making intimacy new. Thank you, Jesus.

Sex is both exciting and scary. It is a beautiful mystery. God created sex and even said do it often. Yet the thought of it sends many women reeling. It often evokes feelings of inadequacy and shame and conjures up memories that come to bed with us, stealing peace and the joy of the moment, and adds a brick in the wall that divides your heart from his. This is certainly not God’s design. There has to be more.

I am made in the image and likeness of God, and my husband is made in the image and likeness of God—each created to be an extension of God’s love, grace, kindness, mercy and healing to the other through our marriage. We are a cord of three strands with God at the center. We believe that he takes great delight in us and desires for us to delight in each other. He created sex for us, so sex must reveal something about God and what he wants for us. Just a quick glance through Song of Solomon gives a glimpse of God’s intention. Intimacy, including sex, should satisfy a longing for connection, it should make you feel cherished, beautiful, and strong among other things. Through the touch of her husband, a woman should experience the heart of God for her. When the storm is raging around you, sex is source of comfort. When your day is joy-filled, sex is a celebration.

The difference between the two scenarios is what you do with the bricks that make up your story. At our core, I think every person longs to be seen, known, and fully loved. Can you, together with your husband, take a brick out of the wall, examine it, grieve it, and place it in the walkway that leads to the throne room of Christ? One by one, as your bricks are removed, the window to your soul is opened allowing the glory of God to shine in, around, and through you. This is the path to healing. This is where intimacy is built. In to me see. Look into my soul and love me. Know my story, complete with faults and failures, and love me. See me, naked and unashamed; and take delight, and I will delight in you.

If I could encourage you in one way, it would be to pray in earnest for your marriage and for your sex life. Turn the lights on, keep your eyes open, and pray with your husband. Link your hands and, forehead to forehead, reclaim your marital bed. Ask Holy Spirit to come and fill your space. Take back what Satan has stolen from you, Beloved. Lay your bricks down, weep, mourn, run to the cross together, and rebuild. Stand firm in your identity as a daughter of the King, chosen, sealed, redeemed and loved. Do this naked and unashamed in the arms of your lover between the sheets…God is not ashamed of you.

Have thoughts? Share below or at the Facebook Page.

Signature: Eliza