Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

The Lion and the Lamb: the Beauty in Truth and Grace

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We’ve got quite the line up at FACETS! We have precious thoughts from Tracy, Kim (next week), and you’ll have a chance to read our friend, Kelli Worrall. If you don’t know her yet, you need to! Check back the fourth week for her guest post. I know you’ll love it!

“March—in like a lion and out like a lamb.” Do you remember that from elementary school, too? That was the springboard thought for this month’s topic. Then we thought about the character of Jesus. Have you noticed He is called “the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world” and “the Lion of Judah” in the Bible? These are two of my (Jennifer) favorite names. I notice something about the natures embedded in them. One reveals to me the deeply compassionate and huge nature of Jesus. The other makes me think of a confident, powerful nature. Ah, the multi-faceted nature of God! As the team settled into the topic, we wondered how each of us is multi-faceted, too.

Which of God’s character qualities can I see in my own life?

Grace and truth. That’s a tricky balance, isn’t it? I can get flustered when I think about these two character traits doing their intricate dance in my life. I’m uneasy about “grace” that I think might squeak and scamper into a corner. I’m personally more familiar with “truth” that dons a black robe and wields an over-sized gavel with a BANG!

But Jesus—

The Word became flesh and took up residence among us. We observed His glory, the glory as the One and Only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14 CSB

Jesus is grace and truth!

When I get muddled in the grace-truth balance, friends remind me of something super-important—our God doesn’t have a wimpy approach to offenses. He doesn’t wink at sin because it damages our hearts and our relationship to Him and others. I’ll limit this post to the category of sin including offenses. (My understanding of sin is richer than that.)

The truth of sin has to be acknowledged. That might make me happy if I had success in perfect living or I felt offended and hoped someone would receive their “just desserts.” But when I’m gut-level honest, I might be overwhelmed by the truth of every known and unknown offense I’ve dished to family, friends, and ultimately my Abba. Then I should be forever grateful for the goodness of truth and grace!

That said, this slice of my life includes a study of the book of Romans. Chapter one is an eye-opener when it comes to truth. I’m reminded that God’s truth will not be mocked.

For God’s wrath is revealed from heaven against all godlessness and unrighteousness of people who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth…They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served something created instead of the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. Romans 1:18, 25

There are consequences for knowing God, not acknowledging Him, and not being thankful: a darkened mind (1:21) and ugly heart. That’s something I don’t want for myself or anyone, but that’s where the path leads. I want to be sensitive to truth and respond well. And I sure don’t want to hide it from anyone who hasn’t been introduced to it yet or might ignore it. But how? I’m going to let that question sit for now—

I’ve received boundless grace from God, and it is the very thing He hopes I’ll extend to others. Actually, it’s more than hope; He commands it.

Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4

I’m tempted to breathe a sigh of relief when I see “rebuke him” because it feels like some kind of control after a tough exchange. But letting someone know they’ve done wrong is loving and gracious. After all, offenses should be acknowledged. Then I focus on “if he repents, forgive him.” When someone responds well, there’s a command: forgive. I must! The “seven times in a day” leaps off the page. Grace after an offense—forgiveness—is the gift I’ve been given, and it’s the gift I lavish time and again.

My story, like yours, is chock-full of difficult interactions. Some events may be more extreme or shocking than many women have experienced, but that’s not my point. Our offenses are not fewer or less significant than others’. What’s helpful but challenging to remember in ugly situations is this:

Indeed, we have all received grace after grace from His fullness, for although the law was given through Moses, grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. John 1:16-17

Moses’ law revealed the problem of sin. Through Jesus, the problem was solved completely and permanently. All the offenses—mine and yours, forgotten and remembered—were addressed truthfully (acknowledged) and graciously (the debt to Holy God was settled). Each of us is invited into confession, repentance, and belief (1 John 1:9).

I know this truth. In love, I share it. By grace I want to live out of it with others. Why? Because—

…whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing. Mark 11:25

My God is no vending machine. And prayer is more than the laundry list of requests, let’s be clear. But a clean heart makes all the difference in connecting heart-to-heart with Him. That’s the prayer conversation I want with my Father in heaven—hearing Him and thankful I’m heard.

And relationships with others? Nothing is better than knowing you are loved at your worst. Sure, we are liked and even loved at our best, but that’s easy. The rough moments mirror the Lion and the Lamb in everyday life, right?

Thanks for reading, friends. What you think about this month’s topic? Pop a comment in below or at the Facebook page. Are you choosing to know truth, reveal it, and be gracious in the process, too?

Signature, Jennifer Howe

Loving When Life is Hard—and Loving Well

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This month at FACETS we’ve got a great question. Tracy’s post last week was a gem. Take a peek if you haven’t! And remember to come back next week to read Kim’s post.

How do I love a friend when it’s hard? When life is hard?

As I (Jennifer) think about this question, I recognize that I’ve been that friend. In one really hard season I sat smack-dab in the middle of terribly difficult circumstances. Not one but several areas of my reasonably calm, settled life were hit hard. My apple cart wasn’t just upset, it was blown to smithereens. That was an emotional time. As I looked at the “apple sauce mess” that was my life, I wondered if somebody had been given permission to put a bullseye on me, my family and friends, and my apple cart. I was a mess. Over a fairly long period of time I navigated others’ pain and my own. Circumstances seemed out of control.

Those who know me best know that injustice upsets me deeply. Family and friends are precious to me, and I can’t bear to see unfair accusations or unkind treatment doled out. That was happening to several people close to me at the time. Then my husband went through a work transition that proceeded more slowly than I’d hoped. I began to crumble under the pressure. Then the emotions took over. (Have you or someone close to you experienced this?)

There I sat, for months, in a rancid puddle of emotions. I wanted my friends to be treated better. I wanted my circumstances to be better. I wanted my family to return to a better normal. I tried to manage everything on my own—tried to put on a pleasant face each day—but I was failing miserably. The sadness and anger was piling up.

Thankfully, friends were willing to come to my little puddle and sit with me in it.

That’s how you love a friend when it’s hard! Be with them.

Life is hard, and all of us will sit through a course or two at the School of Hard Knocks. The best way to love someone through that is to be with them when you can, but that’s not always possible. I felt loved when someone gently pressed in. One intentionally walked across a room to talk. My phone rang regularly. Encouraging voicemails were left if I didn’t pick up. E-mails made me smile. Text messages reminded me that friends and family were thinking of me. Many days my friends took a minute out of their busy schedule to check in—and I was so grateful!

There are lots of ways to love a friend when it’s hard.

If you have a friend struggling like me in my season, you know the angry, resentful, or super-sad emotional place anyone can land in during tough times. You might also know how hard it is to keep your own equilibrium when someone close to you is having a hard time. Can I tell you something? Your listening ear or the ear of a skilled professional can make all the difference. It takes time to listen well. It can be difficult to maintain quiet attentiveness and stifle the urge to find solutions, so I recommend praying silently for wisdom while your friend shares. Ask about their personal thoughts and feelings. You’ll know the conversation is on the right track when “I” and “me” statements are steady.

Remember—when someone is emotional the words may not be filtered and may not line up with truth. I can look back on my difficult season and more accurately assess the vulnerable moments (everything from ugly cry sessions to angry rants). The weakness I felt led to my meltdown, and the response was natural. From the other side of it I can see how most things were either a necessary part of a larger plan or something that was eventually used for good. Still, it wasn’t “good” at the time—and it was ridiculously hard! Now I can honestly say I wish I’d made some different decisions. There are specific moments I wish I’d chosen trust over fear, love over anger, and repentance over defensiveness. In the best moments, with a gentle reminder and beautiful encouragement, I chose well. I’m thankful that happened.

Friend, if you’re in the position to sit with someone in their hard season, do this: pray for their strength and resolve to choose well. In the right time and tone, the gentle reminder that every story has a beginning, middle, and end can be precious. We don’t know exactly where we are in our own storyline, but we can be sure that none of it is unknown or unimportant to the Lover of our souls. Jesus is there in every moment, whether we are aware or not, and He will always be with us every step. He will help the one going through hard times and grant wisdom and grace to the one wanting to help.

I thought I’d place some thoughts here for you. I hope they are helpful.

He hemmed me in, ganged up on me, poured on the trouble and hard times. Lamentations 3:5 MSG
The book of Lamentations is an example of an emotional outcry.

Then they sat on the ground with him seven days and nights, but no one spoke a word to him because they saw that his suffering was very intense. Job 2:13 CSB
The book of Job is an example of extreme hardship but maybe not the best example of counsel in the end.

Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? Romans 8:35 CSB

I love that our Father has been careful to speak to the hard stuff in life. There are hundreds of verses the Bible, too many to include, because it’s the story of life in a broken world. And life in a broken world can be excruciating. I’m thankful Jesus came. I’m thankful I have friends who know how to be like Jesus when they sit with me in hard times. Then I’m thankful to have the opportunity to sit with someone else in their hard season the way someone sat with me.

Thanks for reading along! I hope these thoughts inspire you. Maybe you need to let someone in to help you in your difficult season. Maybe you need to be with someone in theirs. Love well!

 

Signature, Jennifer Howe

“I Need a Do Over! Please!”

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Last week Tracy kicked off January’s topic with her post on the do over. I have the honor of carrying the baton this week. Look for Kim’s thoughts next week and our “secret guest” wrapping it up the fourth week. I hope this series is an encouragement to you.

Do You Need a Do Over?

Kids in the neighborhood gathered in the empty lot across the street on hot summer evenings after dinner. An idea for a game slowly formed with eight or ten of us milling around. Teams were picked, and we played until the indigo evening sky chased away the red-gold sunset—or until moms started calling kids in for the night. Football, softball, frisbee, tag—any game we played—all had one thing in common. At some point someone made a mistake, and no one could agree on what to do about it, so the always-awesome “do over” was given. Another play, one more swing, another throw—alive just a little longer.

The do over. You’ve got to love it!

My whole life now is based on my desperate need for a do over at one point. (Can you relate?) If you know my story, you know difficult relationships, pain, and heartache wore on me. Irreversible choices were made. Long term consequences from snap decisions were agonizing for awhile. Eventually something like a heavy judgment gavel landed hard in delicate, emotional circumstances. The reality of my mistakes became overwhelming. And the more I talked to people, it seemed no one agreed on what to do about it. In the end I had no idea what to do, and I hoped for a reprieve. But what I desperately wanted was a do over.

I knew one thing even then: there are things that are just wrong. The average, sane person guides their behavior by the Rule of Law in the region they live. The law of the United States where I live maintains a few threads of an immutable law. Some of us know the Ten Commandments from the book of Exodus in the Bible, but in any case, portions of that text are still recognized as reasonable laws for all people at all times in all places. Murder, adultery, stealing, and lying are still acknowledged and enforced in our legal system, for example. The God lover and Jesus follower should be aware of the whole passage (Exodus 20:1-17).

This is the very thing that overwhelmed me in a fresh way more than 20 years ago. Suddenly, I saw where I had broken that law because my infraction was so glaringly obvious. A simple little sentence kick started the whole thing: “For whoever keeps the entire law, yet fails in one point, is guilty of [breaking it] all” (James 2:10 CSB).

Ouch! I’d never read the whole of the Old Testament, but I knew “The Big Ten.”

The “five finger discount” at the store? The not-so-little-or-white lie? I couldn’t write these off anymore. Suddenly, it didn’t fit so comfortably in the “everybody does it” category. Guilty? Just one time was enough? Yes.

If only it had been nothing more than the little infractions! (Honestly, I think that’s why I never worried about it.) Compared to the worst in history…or my friends…or the mugshots in the Post Offices…. No one else’s choices mattered in that nanosecond. Just mine. My heart broke when I realized I was in way over my head. My choices broke the law I hadn’t understood and thought about.

Have you had moments like that? Suddenly you realize you’ve wronged someone, and you feel terrible. The consequences of our actions are sometimes only seen when we understand the impact it has on others. For me, it was the cost another paid for my preference for convenience and comfort. One of the few times the ugly cry left a nearly indelible mark on my heart. Actually, I hope I will always remember that one for the bittersweet tears.

But God. (Two of my favorite words in the Bible anywhere it shows up!)

God, the Holy One who gave that law for our good (to reveal our sin against Him and our need for forgiveness), speaks sweet words to us when we are desperate.

“Come, let us discuss this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they will be like wool. Isaiah 1:18 CSB

I’m not sure there are sweeter words that can be whispered to our souls. How precious that we can see a light at the end of our dark tunnel! The Lord never ignores reality: we’ve really offended Him with our sin. When I’m in that hamster wheel of regret, or when I am reminded of a past I wish I’d never walked, this verse is a reminder of the truth, love, and power of my God. It’s easy to see painful choices as something like a scarlet letter sewn to our clothing, but there is a love that transcends those decisions and actually replaces that red stain with a brilliant-white righteousness from Jesus.

Ah, that’s the beautiful offer of a do over, friend. The difference is that the neighborhood kids don’t judge the situation and agree to grant it. You don’t get to award it to yourself either. It is, however, free for the asking. If you need a do over, it’s as simple as going to the One who wants to lavish one on anyone who wants it.

Do you need a do over? Do you want one?

Sometimes we ask for the first time ever. Sometimes we need to ask for the hundredth time in a day. I’ve been in both places, and I’d love to tell you I’ve reached the point of asking less often for the do over, but I find my sensibilities and sensitivities mature. I know I will hurt others and Jesus with my decisions. There are times I’m not aware even still, but I hope God will continue to sharpen my perception and strengthen my resolve to choose differently.

Do you have questions about the first-time-ever do over? Let any one of the Facets know. We would love to talk about that!

Signature, Jennifer Howe

 

 

 

 

 

 

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