Life Archives – Page 11 of 31

When Our Tank Is Empty, What Do We Do?

07.24.2018 by Dawn Stewart //

This month our Facets of Faith team has the great pleasure to share with you the thoughts of one of our sisters in Christ, Dawn Stewart. She writes and speaks from a place of authenticity so lacking today. Her vulnerability shows others how to be real, open, and vulnerable so Jesus can be the soothing balm of our souls. Sit back, settle in, and prepare to let God use one of His precious daughters to shine light in the darkness of our hearts when we need them fueled with hope. (Haven’t we all been there before?) *smile *

I have a really bad habit when it comes to caring for my vehicle. I don’t do a great job paying attention to my fuel gauge. Over the years, I have put myself in some very stressful situations because of this bad habit. Like those crazy, hurried mornings when I have gotten the kids in the car just in time to make it to school only to realize I don’t know if I have enough gas to get them there.

I end up driving with my eyes constantly returning to the gas gauge, stomach in knots, and my thoughts beating me up for not being more responsible. The guilt that my kids might be late because of my lack of intentionality eats at me. I can’t even enjoy my time with them in the car because I am so hyper-focused on the guilt I’m feeling. It’s stressful. It’s emotionally and mentally chaotic. And, it’s absolutely unnecessary. I have everything I need at my disposal to ensure I don’t end up in this situation. I have the money for gas. I have gas stations at nearly every corner. I know how to put gas in my car. I don’t even mind putting gas in my car. I just don’t pay attention to the very thing that tells me when I need to take action.

My spiritual journey can get a lot like this as well. I absolutely have a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical gas tank. And when I start to run out of gas in any one of those areas, life gets really stressful, emotionally and mentally chaotic, and I end up spending a great deal of my energy focusing on the problems in my life instead of the good that is all around me. Guilt runs rampant in my heart and consumes my time and energy. It is just like the car ride, but on a much broader scale. If I am not aware that my tanks are getting empty, and don’t take the necessary action to fill up, I end up feeling and behaving in ways that are unhealthy for me, for my family, and for those around me.

Each tank requires its own unique fuel and reveals its emptiness in its own way. My physical gas tank begins to get empty when I am not caring for my physical being with proper fuel – food, exercise, and healthy amounts of sleep and rest. I become tired and weary, hyper-sensitive, and not very fun to be around.

My emotional tank becomes empty when I am not properly fueling my emotional being with times of fun mixed in with the responsibility of life. I become too serious, easily irritated, frustrated, emotionally clingy and difficult to be around.

My mental tank becomes low when I am not fueling myself with healthy thoughts, positive self-talk, and encouragement. I catch myself having negative thoughts towards myself and others, and those thoughts quickly manifest themselves in negative attitudes and behaviors.

Of all the tanks I need to be paying attention to, my spiritual tank is by far the most important. For 35 years of my life, I paid no attention to this area of my life. It was dry as a bone. I was so consumed with trying on my own strength to keep the other areas of my life fueled and so wrecked with stress because I could never seem to keep up with my own physical, emotional, and mental needs. Eventually I just gave up and over time became extremely unhealthy in every area of life. I felt hopeless. I became desperate for change, desperate for help – and it turns out that what I really needed was to begin filling the spiritual tank within me. I had no idea it was even there.

My first real prayer was one of total desperation. I couldn’t keep up with life anymore and recognized a need for God’s intervention. And so I asked Him for help. I could almost feel the water pour into the dry areas of my soul. It was like rain falling in an area that has been wrecked with drought. The more I sought the Lord’s intervention, the more I could feel my soul come to life. I didn’t even know I was so parched with thirst! Prayer was the fuel that brought hope into my life again!

I had such little understanding of prayer, but I knew that something in my life was changing. Over time, I discovered that prayer is the lifeblood of my spiritual journey. It is so much more than just words coming out of my mouth to a distant God. True prayer is the very means of communication with an ever-present, living God! It is a relationship building, soul drenching, heart healing interaction with the very One who created me! I don’t need to have specific words to form the right prayer, to sound holy enough, or to make sure every need is delivered correctly to Him. He doesn’t want my performance. He wants my heart.

Prayer is a way that I hand my heart to the Lord. It is a way that I come before God and spend time with Him. It’s a way to both talk to and hear from the Father. And it fuels my hope daily. Prayer is the fuel for my spiritual tank. And it is at my disposal 24-7. I don’t need to go to church to pray. I don’t need to go anywhere. I can talk to the Father right where I am, wherever I am. And as I do that, He fuels my life with hope. And from that hope – that confident expectation that God is and will always be present and working in my life – I am able to effectively fuel every other tank I have. In fact, I would go as far as to say that my emotional, mental, and physical tanks are filled with the overflow that comes from my spiritual tank. I make right choices for my physical self, my emotional self, and my mental self when I am in right relationship with the Father. When my heart and mind are focused on His Kingdom first (see Matthew 6) the rest of my life comes into proper order. It’s amazing to me.

I wish I did everything perfectly, but alas – I do not. There are still some days that I don’t fuel my spiritual tank, and I feel the dryness start to creep back in. I feel the irritation start to form in my mind again, and I watch my attitudes and behaviors become less than fun to be around. I am grateful God always makes a way for me to see the gauge on my spiritual tank is getting empty and provides me with time and opportunity to fill it.

Recently, I started noticing my attitude toward my husband and our marriage slowly becoming more and more negative. I was having a difficult time seeing him as the man God was forming and was paying attention (almost compulsively) to his character flaws. The joy in my heart was starting to wane and bitterness was creeping in.

At first, as is typical, I started thinking the problem was in our marriage and that my husband was becoming less and less interested in connecting with me and our marriage. The more I focused on thoughts like this, the more anxious and worried I began to become. At one point things were starting to feel so bleak inside I found myself wondering if my husband even liked me anymore.

One morning, I was discussing this with a friend and we decided to turn to the Lord in prayer. What ended up happening was that God started showing me I had stopped praying for my husband and our marriage. And the reason that was impacting me so negatively was I had begun to place my hope in my husband instead of in my God.

As wonderful of a man as my husband is, he was never designed to be the source of my hope. He is many things, but my hope is to be in the Lord! I am so grateful to have connected with God’s Word in community with a Sister in Christ. As a result of that time, I was able to confess and repent of my error in focus. God put me back on the right train of thinking. Nothing else had changed. Now my thought life around my husband and our marriage is once again fueled with gratitude, love, appreciation, hope, and excitement for the future. My husband was never lacking in desire for me; I had started lacking in my desire for the Lord. And He allowed me to feel the discomfort of my spiritual tank becoming empty, and provided me an opportunity to get it filled back up!

I see now how my entire life really is fueled by the One who created me in the first place. My most important job is to connect to Him daily. To sit with Him, give Him my heart, and spend time in His presence. When I do that with consistency, I can rest assured that the other areas of my life will be cared for as well.

And, who knows, I might even get better at watching the fuel gauge on my car!

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Finding Fun When Your Heart is Weary

06.23.2018 by Kim Findlay //

Welcome to Facets of Faith! Each week we release a new post on Tuesday exploring a specific question from three or four points of view. You can catch what Tracy and Jen shared by clicking on their names.

This month we’re exploring fun and, quite honestly, I almost skipped it. This question has dodged me for a couple of weeks now. All I have are some thoughts jotted down in my notebook .

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” Proverbs 17:22

Perhaps you’re wondering, like me, what’s so difficult about answering this month’s question: what do I do for fun? That’s exactly what I’ve been wrestling with — why is this proving to be so difficult? I’ve written a profile for a dating website before, so surely I have my “fun factor” figured out (true story, by the way).

I thought about making a simple list of the fun things I enjoy doing. Activities like bike riding and jewelry making, hiking and taking pictures . . . all to encourage you to think about what you enjoy doing, too.

Then I thought about sharing a story from my childhood and crafting the lesson in a way to highlight why fun is so important.

But nothing stuck. Nothing, that is, except the truth. So here it is . . .

I am weary, O God; I am weary and worn out, O God.” Proverbs 30:1b, NLT

How I really feel

I’m exhausted. I think change and a cross-country move and life have caught up to me and smacked me upside the head. Add on top of that the conflict our country has engaged in over uniting families and this tender heart, mercy-loving, empath is about done. The mere thought of fun right now? Ugh. I don’t even know how to finish that thought.

I thought about sharing why I’m so weary, but some of what’s happening isn’t ready to be shared and, honestly, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. For as tired as I feel, I still see God’s goodness all around. His provision. His sustaining grace. His love and mercy. His kindness.

I’m trying to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, yet here I am, ready to skip answering this month’s question because, well, life.

How about you

Can you relate? Do you read Scripture or hear a message and know, deep in your soul, what you’re supposed to do? But then when it comes to actually doing what you’ve learned, you just seem to fall short?

Okay. Good. Now we know we’re not alone.

Here’s the thing —even though we may think we’re unable to do what we’ve learned, the truth is we’re not alone. We have the Helper, the Holy Spirit who leads and guides and prompts and strengthens. He gives us courage to embrace the undoable, the difficult, the thing that we fear most.

For me, right now? It’s not only answering this month’s questions, it’s to realize the value in making space for laughter, for brevity . . . finding fun when my heart is weary.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10, NLT

Here we go

So here’s my answer —unfiltered and possibly a bit unspiritual, but completely authentic.

What do I do for fun? It honestly depends on the day. Some days fun is vegging out in front of the TV, binge-watching some adventure show the whisks me away. Shows like The Flash, Supergirl, or the Closer.

Sometimes fun looks like power-shopping for clothes for our ever-growing kids or sauntering through a second-hand shop or antique store where I hunt for treasure from years past.

There are days when I need space to rest my mind and soul and simply not think —to escape the troubles of this world by diving into a compelling story where good triumphs over evil or the underdog finally wins.

Other times fun looks like chatting with a dear friend, someone who knows and accepts me for all of my flaws and failures, who loves me no matter what.

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9, NLT

Finding fun when my heart is weary

I received a package from a dear friend a couple of days ago. As one of the kids handed me the package, my husband gave me that look. I assured him I hadn’t ordered another book (oh . . . books! Definitely one of my funs).

I opened the packed and tucked inside was a Narnia coloring book. Three of my favorites all in one plain brown package: a gift, the imagination stirred by Narnia, and coloring. (I can’t draw —so I color.)

Tears welled up as I chuckled. I had prayed for encouragement early that morning. My heart was heavy with the weight of the world and I desperately cried out to God for hope. I begged Him to show me that He saw me, not just the things that I do.

It’s fun to see God work. Humbling, too. I received this gift the same day I decided to scrap my post for Facets of Faith this month. Yet as I paged through the coloring book, my heart and imagination stirred with the roar of Aslan. I began to realize that maybe setting time aside for fun wasn’t frivolous but something that breathes life into my weariness.

So don’t mind me as I steal away for a few moments of fun and color.

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

What do you do for fun when your heart is weary? Join the conversation by posting below or over on our Facebook page.

Fun in All the Things: an INTJ, Facts, and Faith

06.12.2018 by Jennifer Howe //

Hi friends, this month’s topic is all about the fun things in life. We’re asking “What do you do for fun?” and we want to know what you think makes the perfect opportunity for joy, laughter, entertainment—your definition of fun—or what fuels a refreshing passion in you. Take a peek at Tracy’s thoughts, and keep an eye out for Kim’s next week.

Many of us carve out time for fun in the summer when we can. The weather can be perfect for a variety of outdoor activities (if you don’t melt above 83 degrees like I do). Summertime vacations and staycations are common. I love a getaway, but I need regular refreshing. And I have to be intentional about it.

There are four letters that influence my idea of fun: I-N-T-J. If you know an INTJ, you wonder what they do for fun, right? I read somewhere that these people are the “packrats of wisdom.” The ability to focus and be in “the zone” for long periods makes them hard workers. Even with a touch of distraction in the mix, an INTJ can be driven. The collaborative academic groups I participated in were thankful for my creativity and drive; I think they prayed I wouldn’t expect that same work focus of them. About two percent of the population fits within the group. (We’re special! *Grin*)

A little about my ideas, plural, of fun…
First, there are so many things I love to do! I joke about wanting to do “all the things,” but there’s a good measure of truth in that. Each experience I choose is the variety and spice in my life, the fresh learning material, or the new challenge to conquer. So this is how things look from my perspective. I love to read, write, edit others’ writing, sing, draw, decorate my home, work out at the gym, play with and train dogs, target-shoot—all with one little thing that seems to overarch it all. When I spend time at my favorite hidey hole with a cuppa, I’m learning about all of those things and more specific areas of many topics.

Learning, Knowledge, and Wisdom…
Once upon a time, I heard that the fuels of the human soul are to know and be known; to love and be loved. Truth? I think so. I resonate with both parts of the statement, but the knowing and being known is strong. Knowledge is a beautiful thing, friends, but it’s not the end. I’ve taken a look at the VFOGI (vast fund of general information) in my head, and I’m challenged.

First Corinthians 13 reminds me that I can know all kinds of things. In my current culture, I might be a key player in a game of Trivial Pursuit (in some categories) or Bible Trivia. But what I know, what I take into my mind, needs guidelines.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7 CSB

In Him all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden. Colossians 2:3

The kind of knowledge I need is rooted in God. Thankfully, this is my Father’s world, so learning about its workings reveals something about the One who made it if I look carefully. The masterpiece reveals the heart of the artist. I love that! But notice something up there? There is knowledge, and there is wisdom and instruction.

If you ask li’l, old INTJ me what I love, what fuels refreshing in me, it’s learning and being teachable. To me, those two things say all I need to know about knowledge and wisdom.

Wisdom is supreme-so get wisdom. And whatever else you get, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7

The Geek in Me…
When I geek out in “all the things,” I want to think about how my study opens up some understanding of Daddy-God, the people He’s made, or the creation He sustains. From the topic of astronomy to zoology (and everything between), everything references the Creator. The interest I have in psychology makes more sense in light of the One who created the human mind. When I write, I hope to reveal the heart and mind of God. When I train a dog, I see the creativity of the One who fashions companion animals with complex senses and instincts. On a trail ride, I celebrate the beauty of nature and the horse beneath me. When I learn a little bit about how the world works, it shows more of the incredible mind of God!

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! Romans 11:33a

I’m hard-wired for geekiness. My friends are gracious when my VFOGI leaks in conversation. They know I had a learning moment sometime prior, and the material sat in storage for years just waiting for its nanosecond of usefulness. What they may not know is the connection between the facts and my faith.

I love knowing, and now you know that. I guess I feel settled in the knowing and being known at the moment. *Grin* Thankfully, I have friends and family with differing definitions of fun, so I’m a little more well-rounded than just scratching my brain from the inside.

What does your fun look like? I’ve got to know. Jot a quick comment to share your experiences of fun below or at our Facebook page. And, as always, sharing is caring—or at least inviting others into the conversation.

Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing!