Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

How Has God Brought Humor and Joy to your Life? (God’s Got Jokes!)

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This month we thought we’d lighten things up a bit. We tend to dive deep. Sometimes, it’s good to come up for air, breathe from the belly, and let out a few laughs.  Selfishly, I needed a break from all the sanctification that happens when we tackle the serious topics. This month we chew on some lighter fare.  After all this is FACETS and we have multiple facets to our personalities too. Right? Image bearers of Christ have lots of dimension. (No, I didn’t say dementia!)

I’ll be curious what chuckles Kim, Jennifer and our guest contributor bring this month. Oh goodie! A month full of funny. I can handle that!

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.─Proverbs 31:25 NIV

A friend spoke this verse over me several years back.  When she publicly proclaimed its truth over my head, it was fiction, not fact. I hadn’t laughed, really laughed, from a place of exuberant joy and peace in a long, long time. I’m not sure I’d ever felt strength other than the puffed up pretend kind, and dignity would never have been an adjective you’d have assigned to me.

But God’s got jokes! He is the ultimate Author of irony.

  • Little David, here’s a slingshot, and a few stones. Now take out that giant.
  • Here you go Joshua. Grab a trumpet and march around the city. Jericho falls.  I know it makes no sense. Trust me.
  • Rahab, tie this red ribbon in your window. You don’t realize it yet, but Christ will be in your lineage. Today this would be a reality show: From Prostitute to Princess.
  • Gideon, I am going to reduce your numbers. You’ll have less and less help. But what do numbers matter? Haven’t you ever heard less is more? Don’t worry. I’ll bring victory. Quit biting your nails.
  • Virgin birth (come on now!)
  • Skunks. They look cute and cuddly. But stumble upon one and you’ll be singing a different tune (as you head to the store for tomato juice, planning on a good scrub in the tub).
  • A girlie girl who will one day apparently love motorcycle riding. Even better, she’ll be a Bible-loving Biker. That’ll raise a few eyebrows, probably on both sides of the fence.

God’s got jokes! If you would have asked me, even one short year ago if I’d be a motorcycle mama (ha ha) I would have laughed and said, “Not a chance!” But what do I know?  Once again, this confirms I don’t know my left from my right (which isn’t such a good thing for a Bible-loving Biker who needs to lean into the curves).

You want to know at least one thing that’s awesome about God’s irony? I get to embrace it and learn a bit more about how He made me. Just when I thought I was figuring me out. Even in that God says, “I know you better!” Of course He does. He designed me. Apparently, He designed me to love awesome shoes, fashion, and the rumble of an engine as I glide along tree covered country roads on two wheels.

He was right! Go figure.

If you think I’m exaggerating about the irony, consider this:  Mint green jeans and matching scarf, of course. White riding jacket with coordinating helmet. (I may have started a Pinterest board on how to avoid helmet hair. Maybe. Shhh! Don’t tell anyone.)

Now consider all of the above riding up to a biker rally greeted by a sea of black on black attire. That takes some inner strength! I know who I am. Who cares if they’re judging me for my mint green pants? Okay, so maybe I was a little self-conscious. But then I thought, who cares? I’ll do me, grinning knowingly.  Before Christ I would have tried to conform. Now? Me and Jesus will make them curious!

Yesterday, I rode my motorcycle to work for the first time. It was glorious! God has given me a scenic route, literally an official Scenic Drive (thanks God!). I’m surrounded by nature on every side. Since this is one of the most powerful ways I connect with God, my whole ride to work is like worship.

Thank You, God, for this awesome gift I didn’t know I’d love. Thank You for the escape so I feel refreshed and restored, ready to take on each day with You. What a blessing to have such a beautiful ride – and no way for anyone to get ahold of me over the rumble of my engine. Woot Woot!  Peace inside my helmet. A voice echoing inside that same helmet a little off key.

How great is our God. Sing with me how great is our God. And all will see how great, how great is our God.

And then a little giggle escaped between me and my God. Isn’t He awesome?

There is one thing more I’m wondering─at least for now.  I know there are bikers who are Christian. The ones I know all were bikers first; Christianity came second.  Maybe God’s just showing me He made me a little weird (truth — but His word calls it unique), but I wonder what He’s going to do with a Bible-loving woman who became a biker second.  When God’s irony shows itself, you better believe we should prepare for more of the unexpected!

I have a feeling I will have some interesting encounters up ahead. It’s okay. We’re trained in motorcycle class to observe the road ahead. It’s more important what’s coming than what’s behind. Yeah, sure, you need to look for the tailgaters following too close for comfort. But the open, winding road ahead is where we need to focus.

Ahead is where adventure awaits.

How has God’s irony surprised you? What unexpected joy did you experience? What adventure awaits you?

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

How Has God Brought Life and Liberty to You?

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If you’re an American, you’ve probably heard the expression “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Surrender.”

What’s that? That’s NOT what the Declaration of Independence says?

“Oh,” she says sheepishly. “That’s right. Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Yeah, yeah, that’s it! Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Well, this month at Facets of Faith we explore “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Surrender”─no disrespect to our nation’s founding fathers. Settle into a cozy chair, put up your pedicured toes (after all it is summer), and sip on some iced tea as you read about life, liberty and the pursuit of surrender.

I (Tracy) kick us off. Jennifer and Kim follow in the weeks ahead, so don’t miss their contribution to the conversation. Feel free to chime in yourself.  We’d love to hear your life, liberty and pursuit of surrender stories too!

Have you ever lay dream-filled eyes on something and thought, “Now that’s what I want for myself”? Most of us want life. Most of us want liberty. And most of us want happiness. But surrender? Forget about it!

What might me miss if we decide not to embrace surrender with a welcoming hug? What if we bristle like a cactus and back away from God? “Don’t touch me! Quit poking! That hurts!”

Let’s face it. Sometimes surrender does hurt. Sometimes surrender keeps poking and prodding as we feel like an ember as the fire glows orange. Surrender’s heat sanctifies. Surrender’s heat says, I’ve got a better way. Surrender’s heat says, Follow me into the fiery furnace.

Who wants to join me?

Now don’t everyone raise their hands at once!

What’s the problem when we don’t surrender? (Every time God asks us to)

We’re not going to find liberty. We’re not going to live as God intended, and that’s no way to live at all. Christ died so we could have abundant life. In light of His sacrifice, why wouldn’t we want to live our lives to the fullest, even if it requires surrender that sometimes pokes and prods a bit more than we wish?

Our selfish, sinful nature says, I want what I want. Whatever makes me happy? I’ll grab at that!

We may or may not recognize our behavior, but we all have a sin nature. Awareness is what helps us surrender it to God bit by bit. Some things God shows me as sin now, I would never have recognized as such years ago.

Subtly, slowly (but then again not) He sets me a little freer. Each decision of surrender moves me closer to whom God intended me to be all along. Pure. Holy. Righteous.

I’m already Beloved. You too! Those other bits? They’re the work God is moving toward as He paints His masterpiece in each of us. We’re His workmanship and we’re made in His image. That’s why, if we love Him, we’ve got to cooperate with His plan.

Cooperation requires surrender to His authority.

I don’t always understand God’s plan. That’s good. It grows my faith. It grows me. Growing pains aren’t just for teenage boys.

Sometimes the growth, and the pain in that growth, helps me to have humility─not something that comes naturally to most. Certainly not to me.  I, Me, My … not so humble.

And this is from a woman who wants to be, who loves Jesus, loves herself, and loves others albeit very imperfectly! But my “want to” isn’t broken. I want to do what God wants me to do. I want to be who God wants me to be. But oh brother can I not be sometimes!

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

God walked me through a situation where I didn’t meet someone’s expectations. It was devastating to my spirit. I’ve spent a lifetime of trying to do my best, to be my best and always put my best foot forward — perfectly. Everything in order. Everything just so. Best, best, best — must always do the best. Root deep, God keeps ripping away at it. Like a weed, He’s going to pull it all the way out. Ouch!

Why?

None of that matters! None of it! It doesn’t mean the people aren’t important. It doesn’t mean the project wasn’t important. It means I matter to God more than what He asked me to do.

What’s one thing I learned in my surrender moment?

I matter more to God than what He asks me to do. And He wanted to know if His approval mattered to me enough to outweigh others who didn’t see what I accomplished, didn’t see sacrifices made. Would His approval be enough? Would it be okay to my identity, my self-esteem if no one beside Him recognized one thing I did in that season?

I didn’t like it at first. I got mad.  I’m used to relying on my performance. It’s been an AWESOME coping mechanism.

coping mechanism

noun, Psychology.

1. an adaptation to environmental stress that is based on conscious or unconscious choice and that enhances control over behavior or gives psychological comfort.

Compare defense mechanism (def 2).1

The problem with coping mechanisms is it’s all about cover up. Cover Girl doesn’t have anything on this girl’s coping mechanisms God’s chipping away at.

Do you see the key word in the definition? Control! And a close runner up? Psychological comfort!

I had poured my heart and soul into this project, and no one noticed (or so it seemed). It’s as if God blinded their eyes from seeing what I know and those in my inner circle know. Beyond that? Blind as a bat. Would I be okay with that?

I opened the gift God intended.

Yes! Yes, I would be okay with that!

Others’ blindness to my performance gave me freedom. It stung at first, like when sweat drips down into your eyes from hard work. But then, God gave me new vision, He removed the salty tears that blurred and gave me perspective.

I surrendered to Him, audience of One whose eyes see all that I do, all that you do too. He doesn’t miss a thing.

He says, Good job! I see you. I love you! You are Mine. I know this was a hard lesson for you to learn, but isn’t it liberating? You’re not measured by what you do. I want more than that for you. You don’t have to try so hard. Rest in Me. Listen for My voice. Please Me. Don’t worry about the others. Perhaps when the time is right I will reveal to them. For now, you’ve learned a valuable lesson. I love you no matter what! And you will not always meet other people’s expectations no matter what you do, so stop trying so hard to do so. Just do what I ask you to do. No more. No less. No matter what, you are enough. Remember what I told you. You are good enough and sometimes good enough is good enough.

For a woman who has had a tight grip on performance as her security blanket, that sentiment feels foreign, yet liberating to my ears.

God set me a little more free. I stopped striving to earn other’s approval. And in turn I got me back, only a better version, a bit more sanctified. I got a little scorched by the flame. It hurt. But God made it all better in a way only He can. I do care what He thinks. And I’m growing to know I do make Him happy. It’s hard to imagine in my sinful, fallen state.

Coping mechanisms have a way of holding us hostage. God sets His captives free! I don’t have to be an overachiever to be appreciated. Praise Jesus!

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Surrender. Perhaps that’s the key to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. The more I surrender, the happier I become.

What about you? How has God brought life and liberty as you pursue surrender?

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

 

1”Dictionary.com.” Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com n.d. Web. 29 June 2017. <http://www.dictionary.com/>

How Is God Helping You to Bloom in Your Marriage?

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This month at Facets of Faith we touch upon an area near and dear to my heart─marriage. I (Tracy) know that word hits us all a bit differently. Some may wince from pain etched deep, too many hurts and not enough fingers to keep track of the sorrow from two broken people who don’t quite know how to love one another well.

Sadly, that’s the story of my first marriage. It halted. Like a sun-scorched river, love dried up. I dried up. Eyes of grace (now) see he did too.

No one sets sail for divorce. Sometimes a shipwreck occurs, and divorce’s devastation takes place. Crashed and battered against rock hard as granite, hearts closed off to hope, sinking in despair faster than an anchor tossed overboard. I’ve been there. Without Christ, there’s little hope for a marriage in jeopardy. I didn’t know that then. I appreciate it now. I hold tight to my Anchor, the One that is the Anchor for my soul. (Hebrews 6:19)

My God didn’t leave me shipwrecked, cast upon the shore like a fractured shell worth little value because of her imperfections. The rough edges, He’d soften. Over time. Like grains of sand, sometimes it felt abrasive, because smoothing out the rough edges often is painful. But with God there is purpose in the pain. God’s healing hands hold us close and restore us, making us new.

The fractured places where His hand fuses us back together become stronger, even as they have the potential to make us more beautiful.

Scars healed help us see our Savior as Healer, Lover of our soul (for He is).

Scars healed help us see others through eyes softer. Less judgment, more compassion.

Scars healed help us see ourselves differently, flawed yet somehow more real and relatable, because we’re not the only ones tired of pretending. Many crave authenticity.

My life is good, but it is not perfect. There is not always a cherry on top. I’m grateful it doesn’t always have to be cherry on top perfection to feel real and good.

I used to think that cherry had to be placed just so and, if not, my world might crumble. The problem with that “theology” is it often does.

I got divorced, and I almost nearly died. I thought I’d shrivel and not ever see past the hurt and pain of that loss, even as I pretended I didn’t need to grieve. Grieve? Why? I’m okay, my common refrain back then. Only I wasn’t. I melted faster than ice cream on a warm July day. I contemplated taking my life, because I didn’t see hope for a new one. I’m so grateful God reached in and gave me a reason to live. Him!

Christ Jesus sets a heart held captive free, and brings more and more freedom each day as we walk with Him. Little by little, or sometimes big by big, He makes us new.

As God does that in my life through the heart and hands of my second husband, Sam, He shows me I don’t have to be perfect to be loved. I’m grateful for that gift. God uses Sam to help me be vulnerable and most myself (other than the times spent with Christ).

There’s something very powerful being loved for who you really are, kind and loving sometimes, but not always. Brave and courageous or weak and trembling, either way whichever wife he has that day, Sam has loved me well. He’s not perfect, nor am I. But somehow God uses two broken people to strengthen one another, to hear each other’s hearts holding them gently. Hearts are tender and can easily be broken. I appreciate Sam’s soft touch to the softer parts of me that feel emotionally naked as I seek his council when I need a wise second opinion.

I think of where we started. Me, too afraid to even utter the word marriage. The “M” word all I could muster. Now, I think of marriage and I smile, grateful to God for the gift He gave me in Sam. If you know him, you know how sweet and kind he is. Had I been stubborn or too afraid to step out, I would have missed a gift from God.

He seeks to understand me, Sam does. He said he studies me. I’m glad for that, because he sometimes helps me gently see things in me or about me that I don’t have enough perspective on. I know me too well. I’m too familiar with me. I need a trusted outside perspective. How do you see this situation, Sam? What insight do you have? Trust. Something I didn’t think I’d ever do again.

If that’s where you are sitting, I want you to know it IS possible to trust again. I started by learning to trust Jesus.  He showed me how to begin to trust others. He showed me how to trust myself again. Slowly.

“Our bravest moments come from trusting, from falling into the plans of God. When we do, bravery becomes less about courage and more about faith.”₁

If you are in a marriage that’s being tossed against the rocks, don’t give up. Divorce is NOT the easy option. As grateful as I am for God’s second chances, it would be very remiss of me to not give this council. I wish someone would have said it to me. Seek God and let Him be the Savior of your marriage. Nothing and no one is beyond His healing hand. Pray for yourself. Pray for your husband. And pray for unity in your marriage. Saving your marriage won’t be easy, but it is possible.

It all starts with the Love of Jesus, for without that, life is futile and full of the illusion of love. Only the Author of Love can properly lead us down love’s river without leading us astray. Jesus helps us avoid unnecessary white waters that would like to pull us under.

Fortunately, God rescued me. And He rescues me time and time again. Often, through the hands of a husband who learned how to love me well, because He allowed God to show him how. Sam would admit to you he didn’t know how to love. At 40 years of age, he’d never been married. What I love about my husband’s heart is he asked God to show him how to love me well. Lucky for me, God answers a prayer like that!

I often have referred to Sam as my Boaz, I his Ruth.  I met him when I was incredibly vulnerable. Many men would have taken advantage of that. Some did. Not so Sam. He showed me something different. A man of character who treated me like a woman should be treated, with dignity and respect. I remember being nervous, not knowing how to act in this foreign field of Christian relationship. How does this work anyhow?

God showed us how.

Through my marriage God has brought me from being a wildflower to a lillie, growing more and more pure each passing year. Mind you, there’s much more purity to be had by yours truly. But God has brought Sam and I quite a distance from where we first started.

My Boaz who didn’t take advantage when so many others had, helped me to regain my self-esteem. Through Sam’s love, I saw the Father’s Love. Still do. The idea of intimacy restored, restored back to God’s intention. Holy. Beautiful. Possible even when it doesn’t make sense based on a person’s track record.

Sam and I recently celebrated our six year wedding anniversary. I can’t quite believe it. Feels just like yesterday. No, it’s not 25 or 30, but it’s something significant from a gal who wasn’t willing to consider walking down the aisle again.

Perhaps even more astounding is what God has done in a relatively short amount of time. He has helped me to bloom because of Sam. I would not be the woman I am (and the woman I am becoming) without him.

A man, in fact, should not cover his head because he is God’s image and glory, but woman is man’s glory.─1 Corinthians 11:7 HCSB

As my husband, Sam partakes in any good God brings forth. I am a reflection of him and his love for me. I’ve experienced God’s love through Sam, and because of that expression of love, God’s glory is revealed. Love is always a reflection of Christ. Not the stuff of Hollywood, but the stuff of life, real life, the hard stuff as well as the good stuff. The stuff of tears when I need comfort and I find a safe shoulder to rest my head upon. The safe harbor helps me to bloom.

I hold my head higher, because I’ve experienced honorable love. Dignity restored, because that was the Father’s design all along.

The best anniversary gift I’ve received so far was fruit of Sam’s love standing right by my side at church: three young women rescued from sex trafficking whom I now get to help. Had my husband not loved me well, I wouldn’t have bloomed. Unimaginably, God wouldn’t be able to use me to help three other tender hearts learn how to receive love, and sometime in each of their futures, to love others well. To trust again. Someday. That is my prayer for each precious one.

I can talk with them about how hard it is to trust. I get it. It’s hard; it can feel impossible. I can also talk with these precious women about hope of love, intimacy, and restoration beyond their wildest dreams. Three beautiful buds waiting to bloom, but starting to open up, stood to my left, my husband to my right. Me sandwiched between trying hard to hold back tears on Mother’s Day as I thought, Lord, how on earth did I get here? Thank you! Not in a million years would I have guessed this one!

Later, in the car, I got to tell my husband how much I appreciate him. God put it on my heart to give him an anniversary present of honor. You see, Sam is not only my Boaz, he is also a man of mighty valor. He’s brave. After all, he took on me (and oh did that take courage back in the day!).

None of the ministry God has given me would have been possible without you, Sam. None of it. Because you loved me so well, I am now able to love others well. Thank you! Because of our story, I can give them hope that they will have genuine intimacy, the love we’re all after. Every woman helped, you have helped. This is your ministry too!

And it is.

Epilogue:  Thank you for helping me to bloom, Sam! One day you will receive many rewards for the things you’ve done in secret to honor and love me well. Until then, I pray you receive rich rewards here on earth as well. I know when you get to heaven one day (hopefully far, far into our future) Jesus is going to hold you in His arms and tell you “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You did good. Very, very good, My son. I am proud of you. You were a good steward of your wife and an excellent model for other men to follow. Well done, My son. Well done.”

If you are married, how can you allow your husband to help you bloom? How can you honor him?

If you’ve never read the book of Ruth in the Bible, I encourage you to do so. It’s a beautiful love story that points to Christ’s love for us, His bride.

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₁Lyons, Rebekah. You are Free. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017.