Happy February friends! This month we have been really digging into words that are a part of our identity in Christ, and I (Megan) have really been loving the “Did You Know You Are…?” series. We prayed together and selected words that are beautiful and sometimes challenging to accept. In the past couple weeks, Tracy shared about being “Cherished” and Jen “Honored“. This week,as you read the words below, I pray you hear God reminding you that you are His beloved.
Whew… so this topic, huh? Here I am, an unmarried woman in her 30s, that has struggled with feeling lovable the majority of her adult life, in the month of Valentine’s Day, writing about love. Did you know you are beloved? I guess before I ask you that question, I have to think about my answer. In the past, it has been a challenge for me to claim this truth — God calls us beloved.
Face to Face with My Thoughts
So I have this book, a journal really, that is filled with only God’s truth. It came out of a season where I struggled to even look in the mirror. I felt unlovable. Honestly, that is even a bit of an understatement. I was challenged by a friend to just keep speaking the truths out loud to myself in front of a mirror until I could actually say them with confidence. The first time I stood in my room looking in the mirror, I opened my mouth to speak the words, and just cried. The second day, something similar. Eventually there were days I could speak truth over myself, and other days that I might even believe what I was saying. It feels silly in hindsight to think I couldn’t speak simple words into a mirror. But the reality of the power and strength of truth, while looking myself in the eyes knowing I didn’t believe it, it was halting. I was face to face with the reality that I didn’t believe God made me without mistake. That He made me lovable. That if He had made me lovable, I hadn’t somehow destroyed that in the previous 25+ years.
The “Truth” in My Heart
Have you ever been there? Face to face with the reality of what your heart believes? I did not believe I was beloved. I would speak truth over any of my friends, strangers even, knowing the value God knit into their being, but never could have said the same words about me. My truth had departed from the real truth. I’m not sure why. Lack of confidence? A conditioning from past experiences? Who knows. I knew it needed to change, though.
Fast forward several years. I found myself in a spot again where experiences led my heart back to “you are not lovable”. This time, I felt convicted by the Spirit to write a letter to myself from God’s perspective. I knew it was needed, but simultaneously thought it was silly. I mean, can God really have me write a letter to me, and it not just be my words? After some wise counseling, I sat down with a stack of note cards and prayed through scripture, writing thoughts and scriptures out on cards and lining them up until I saw where God was leading. I wrote a letter that brought a little healing to my heart. Calling out pains that I didn’t completely know were there, and the loving, gentle, healing truth that God gave us in scripture.
Beloved,
I am your heavenly Father. I created your entire being thoughtfully, uniquely, and without mistake.1
I do not see you as you do — your flaws, your failures, and days of unfaithfulness. No, I see my priceless, redeemed, and beloved daughter. While you were in that pit of self-hatred and rejection, I CHOSE YOU. I have picked you up from the pit and crowned you with my grace and compassion.
Beloved, I love you exactly where you are today, and I will continue to love you each day no matter where you are. No more, no less.2
I will walk hand in hand with you as your heart is softened and your stubbornness is replaced with my love and compassion.3 When your heart is overwhelmed, I will be there patiently and gently calling you back to my freedom 4. The walk will have painful stretches, but I see you on the other side, victorious5.
-Your Loving Father
What Does It Take To Believe The Truth?
I think God could write a letter like this to each of us. One that reminds us how precious we are. That we are chosen. That he created us with care, with intention, and with purpose. We are HIS beloved.
I don’t remember at this point where I heard it, but I remember hearing a message where beloved was intentionally pronounced be-loved. Be loved. Live as though you believe you are loved. When you don’t feel lovable, or loved, look back at scripture and read the truth to yourself over and over again until you believe you are the beloved daughter of the mighty God. There is nothing we can do (or not do) to change the reality of this truth.
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- Psalm 139:13-14
- Romans 8:38-39, Ephesians 2:4-5
- Ezekial 36:26 (NLT)
- Psalm 61
- 1 Corinthians 10:13, Ephesians 6:13
