Welcome to FACETS, friend. This month we’re thinking about a life infused with play, or in my case, living life unedited. You can check out Tracy’s post here. Come back the next two weeks to read posts from Megan and our guest writer, Lauren.
I (Jennifer) spend a lot of my time editing others’ work on stacks of pages and through a screen. Bible studies, books, dissertations, web content—I work on a variety of projects with people. I examine the work, scrutinizing spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I want to help each writer put the best work forward. It’s my job to be sure the words are polished and presentable.
I’ve got a red pen, and I’m not afraid to use it!
I’m an editor professionally, but it’s not lost on me—the “red pen mindset” has crept into other areas of life. I’ve been living a carefully edited life most of my 51 years. A tightly-run ship in my childhood home transitioned to self-protection after traumatic events and settled into controlling patterns wherever I had a chance. For years I heard Star Trek’s Captain Piccard say, “Make it so!” in my head. Then I did what I could to orchestrate the things (and people) according to plan. I’m sad that’s been my reality for so long.
What you don’t know…
I’m returning from one of the most emotional trips I can remember. I’m leaving Nevada after visiting my dad and his lovely wife, soaring high above a western state and winging toward Seattle to connect, hang a right, and land in Chicago.
It’s a little like the time I left Oklahoma City as a kid. I didn’t know I was closer to the last time I’d see my grandfather; I still bawled when I left. My mom’s dad was an amazing man (take a peek at this childhood memory, and you’ll know why). My grandfather and my dad were cut from different cloth, a stark contrast. I don’t recall the same intensely sweet memories with my dad.
Fast-forward to today, and my father isn’t the same man. The gaze is different—softer, maybe. A bit more distant, too. His mannerisms are the same and completely different. The jokes are the same; I know them word-for-word. The polite apologies, thankfulness for my presence, and generosity; that’s all new. I’m meeting the same man and one I’ve never known. It’s gain and loss I don’t have words for at the moment.
Makin’ memories!
I’m traveling with a sister who lives a much less edited life. Two flights out to Nevada. A “Thelma and Louise” road trip from one part of the state to the other through the desert in a 2020 black Mustang convertible, top down. Laughs, photos, and GPS in the middle of nowhere and no signal. An Area 51 trinket shop where (clearly!) trinkets had to be bought. The tiniest state capital. Several days with my dad who definitely lives an unedited life. Losing every card game. A touristy town up the mountain. A late birthday lunch at Red Lobster. Riding mountain roads my dad has driven for thirty years (and still does with skill). A crazy drive back through the desert where GPS took us into California and through the Sierras. (The driver was ‘not disappointed’ with the video game-like driving in the right car!) A drive through Red Rock Canyon. Dinner with my writer friend in Vegas. Sleeping to the airline’s on hold phone system all night. 4:30 AM. Sadness parking the ‘Stang the last time. Two flights with a 4-minute connection window when the door opened (that we made with a sprint and one minute to spare!). And on to Chicago.
Stress? Yes. Fun? Absolutely an adrenaline rush!
Thelma, Louise, and life lessons…
Beyond all we shoe-horned into a few days and travel glitches; my usual, careful patterns were challenged. A muscle car, a road trip with someone who doesn’t edit the same parts of life, and meeting a man who doesn’t edit life much at all will push comfortable boundaries. Something in me wants—or desperately needs?—order in life.
When I consider a playful, unedited life, I know there’s room to grow. There’s a huge difference between my red pen mindset and letting the Lord order my days.
Order, please!
The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way… Psalm 37:23 ESV
Trusting Jesus in every situation infuses His order to life and transitions the stress of my need for order to His care. I trust the One who loves me and cares for me!
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. I Peter 5:7 NLT
He knows the road, and He’s on it!
When the road in front of me feels like switchbacks, dips, and bumps in the Sierras, everything in me wants to “Make it so!” But I trade trust for exhaustion and a measure of failure when I take charge. I never intend to walk off the narrow road. My heart wants to be with the One who knows the options, outcomes, and the beauty in divine appointments with anyone He puts in my path. My head, though! Control is about me and my comfort, and it has nothing to do with why He has me here.
A follower of Jesus loves Him with all her heart, mind, and strength; she looks for opportunity to love and serve others, and ultimately introduce them to Jesus in casual conversation and day-to-day activity. That kind of unedited life is infused with and fueled by the Holy Spirit’s truth, love, and power. I can’t muster it; it’s not a “fake it till you make it” thing. And it can be fun and joy-filled!
Trusting and following—that’s where the rubber squeals on the mountain road.
The Right Edits
There are choices (edits) to make in line with who I am in Jesus, and there is so much out there that allows for God-gifted joy and significance, and both sad and happy tears in good company. I lean a little more serious than playful, but I’m eyeing the fun road with Him and others! (Probably not in a shiny 2020 Mustang, sadly.)
Ordering my world exhausts me! I wonder how I’m going to do this fun, unedited life thing. Fear isn’t needed, so I’ll do the work to set it aside. The Bible tells me my steps are ordered, no matter how it looks. I’m reminded control is a myth, fun lies in opportunities I can say yes to, and smiling in uncomfortable moments is a choice.
If you live a carefully edited life, how’s it going for you? Can we both lean into the unedited life? We can certainly pray for each other to find joy in His ordered plans for us.
If you live the God-honoring, play-filled life, share with the rest of us. How’d you do that? Inquiring minds want to know!
If you’ve read this far, thank you for blessing and honoring me. Let’s connect at the Facebook page or the comments below!
As always, sharing is caring. Who else might consider the unedited, playful life?
I loved this. This was a great read and a great lesson! Thank you for sharing your heart, Jen!
Thanks for reading, friend!