Hello friends! Welcome back to our gathering space. This month, each of us have pondered on the question “Do they know they are loved?” and each of us ending with a different “facet” (haha)… Check back with Jen and Tracy to hear their thoughts, and get excited for next week’s guest, Judy! I am going to be really honest, this has by far been the hardest post I have ever written. There have been tears, second guessing, broken internet, interruptions, lost writing, emotional exhaustion, more tears, and the list goes on. I pray that God meets us both here, and our hearts find rest in a time of unrest.
Loneliness Epidemic
For years I have overheard the idea that loneliness is an epidemic in our society, but I don’t think I have ever truly experienced long-term loneliness. I have had moments of loneliness, glimpses, but never long-term. Moments when living alone left me feeling isolated, searching for a new community made me miss old friends, or even those times I was filling out an emergency contact at the doctor’s office and I remembered I’m single, and my family is 550 miles away.
Then this past week happened. Each day there were multiple updates. It was like every few hours the news changed, trips cancelled, gatherings over 1000, then over 250, then churches cancelled, and then schools cancelled. Honestly, by the time we got to the middle of the week, each time I read the news, or got another notification about something changing I started crying. I could foresee the moment when I would be told “you should stay home until further notice”. And now we’re there. I live alone. No other people. No community. No visitors to look forward to. No trips. Just me and my dog. And without a real end date. This is why I was crying all last week. The prospect of loneliness was ominous.
God Given Community
There is no denying that we were created to live in community. Start in Genesis with Adam and Eve in community with God. The census and lists of tribes throughout the Old Testament. The friendship between David and Jonathan. Jesus and His disciples. Think, even, just about the Trinity. God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. They exist in community as One. So there is no surprise that we, created in God’s image, would so desperately need community.
My command is this: love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:12-13 (NIV)
I often experience God’s love and grace towards me through my friends. They remind me of the truth when I can’t see it. They get me laughing and bring joy to my days. They give me hugs at just the right moments, when I am really needing to feel God’s presence.
So what happens when we are alone? Or we are starting over somewhere new? Or there is a global pandemic, and to best love our neighbors, we practice social distancing? How do “they” know they are loved when no one is around? The easy answer is “God promises to always be with you” (Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 28:20), but what about the moments when we need tangible community? When God feels too far away, and we need a hug to remind us that we aren’t in this alone (unless you are Jen and hugging isn’t your thing).
Seen From A Distance
A year or so ago, my friend Alaina gave a sermon at her church where the main message was: “The cure for loneliness is to help other people feel less lonely.” We have to be intentional to love people when we aren’t physically able to be in a room with them. If you are thinking of your friend, send them a text and let them know you are thinking of them, or that you miss them. Ask them how they are, and actually anticipate a response. Think about a time when you most felt seen and remembered by a loved one, and do that for someone else. Love people unconditionally like God loves you. While I acknowledge that the Spirit lives within me and often reminds me of God’s presence, God has done a pretty awesome job of leaving me feeling loved and remembered without physically being within the 6 foot buffer recommended by social distancing. Pray for the Holy Spirit to nudge you, and then listen when people are brought to your mind.
It is okay, and super healthy, to acknowledge if you are sad, if you are feeling disappointed, loss, anxiety, or even a little scared. I think a lot of us are. Which means we aren’t alone. If you are feeling lonely, reach out to a friend and start the conversation. If you have friends or loved ones that are living alone, check on them. Call them and remind them they are seen and remembered. Help others feel less lonely.
When life starts to return to normal for most of us, let’s remember that community still requires intentionality. Loneliness will still be an epidemic requiring our attention. Let us grow in compassion for one another, and ask God how we can use that compassion to better love our community now, and in the future.
Join us on Facebook, or in the comments, and let us know how you are loving your friends and community from afar!
