This month at Facets of Faith we’re taking a look at where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going. You know, lessons life has taught us. Tracy and Jen have already shared. Be sure to check theirs out by clicking on their names! Now it’s my (Kim) turn.
Where’s Here?
Have you ever asked yourself, how did I get here? Maybe not so much the physical location as much as the season of life. The details.
Maybe you were one of the kids who dreamed someday you’d grow up to ______ (fill in the blank). As you look at your life today, you wonder what happened before. Now that life isn’t good, perhaps it isn’t what you expected or what you planned.
I’m writing these words at home seated at my desk, a treasured gift from a lifetime ago. My mom bought this beautiful piece for me after fire destroyed my home over thirteen years ago.
I dreamed about writing words of hope and encouragement sitting at this desk, of obeying the call of Scripture to be one of the redeemed telling her story (Psalm 107:2). Of penning stories to let the world know what He had done.
Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.” Psalm 105:1
What I never expected was for my desk to reside anywhere other than in Illinois. Yet here we sit, my desk and I, nestled together in a town just outside of Boston, Massachusetts, a thousand miles from familiar.
Looking Back
Two years ago I visited my daughter and her husband in Connecticut. On a whim we decided to drive up to Concord, Massachusetts and visit Orchard House, the home of Louisa May Alcott. We strolled the grounds and absorbed its history. We meandered down a bit and stumbled upon The Old Manse where the first shots of the Revolutionary War were fired and less than a century later Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nathanial Hawthorne, and Henry David Thoreau spawned a revolution in American philosophy.
A thought snuck in as we walked . . .how neat it would be to live near such history. Inwardly, I gasped. What was I thinking? I had just remarried and we lived in a great house at a great location. Life was settling after years of sorrow and struggles. Not only that, but my youngest daughter’s grave was in Illinois. Surely God wouldn’t ask me to move away, not after all that happened when fire not only destroyed my home, but ended my girl’s sweet life on earth. Surely there was a limit to what He would ask of me.
We think that sometimes though, don’t we? Holding the broken pieces of our hearts and dreams up to God we ask, isn’t this enough? Is there a limit to our pain or some kind of suffering cap we’ll finally reach. Looking around, we wonder why we seemed to have drawn the short straw and they reap such goodness.
The Good News
He knows that —how we feel, what we think. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.” Psalm 103:13-14
I forget that sometimes. Too often. I forget that He made me (Psalm 139:13) and formed me. I forget that He has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) and work for me to do .
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10
A Fellow Sojourner
Usually as I try to remind myself of God’s sovereignty, I turn to the pages of Scripture and seek out one of my heroes —Joseph. Joseph, the favored son of Jacob, despised by his brothers yet chosen by God. After being tossed in a well for sharing a dream that he might one day rule over his brothers, Joseph was sold into slavery, accused of rape, thrown in prison, and forgotten. You can read the rest of his story in Genesis 37, 39-46. It’s a pretty amazing to read.
As I read about Joseph’s life, I relate to the unceasing pressure of suffering and trials, feeling forgotten and overlooked.
It would be easy to drown in self-pity. Some might say I have every reason . . .and perhaps you might as well. We look at the details of our lives and see pain after pain with little time to catch our breath.
But if there’s anything I’ve learned through my forty*cough*cough years of walking the earth, it’s that God doesn’t waste a single tear nor does He toss out our broken hearts and dreams. He uses them to accomplish His purpose and redeems every moment.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28
He takes our experiences, our hearts, the work He created for us and somehow fashions them together to create something beautiful . . . a masterpiece.
Hope Ahead
He did that with Joseph. God needed someone to care for His people —Joseph was that answer. The way was rocky, but God was with Joseph every step of the way.
He called for a famine on the land of Canaan, cutting off its food supply. Then he sent someone to Egypt ahead of them— Joseph, who was sold as a slave. They bruised his feet with fetters and placed his neck in an iron collar. Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph’s character. Then Pharaoh sent for him and set him free; the ruler of the nation opened his prison door. Joseph was put in charge of all the king’s household; he became ruler over all the king’s possessions. He could instruct the king’s aides as he pleased and teach the king’s advisers.” Psalm 105:16-22
And He does that with us. He did that with me. He breathed life and hope and healing into a life-in-middle woman with a broken heart and birthed a love for people that compelled her to move a thousand miles from familiar. It hasn’t been an easy journey. I’ve lost more than I ever imagined and felt the depth of pain I didn’t think I could survive. As I sit here at my desk, penning words of hope and encouragement, I realize it’s worth it, this life of faith and sorrow and hope. And I will continue to declare His goodness and sovereignty until my final breath.
Where do you think God is leading you? Join the conversation by commenting below or jump over to our Facebook page to share.
