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“I Need a Do Over! Please!”

01.10.2017 by Jennifer Howe //

Last week Tracy kicked off January’s topic with her post on the do over. I have the honor of carrying the baton this week. Look for Kim’s thoughts next week and our “secret guest” wrapping it up the fourth week. I hope this series is an encouragement to you.

Do You Need a Do Over?

Kids in the neighborhood gathered in the empty lot across the street on hot summer evenings after dinner. An idea for a game slowly formed with eight or ten of us milling around. Teams were picked, and we played until the indigo evening sky chased away the red-gold sunset—or until moms started calling kids in for the night. Football, softball, frisbee, tag—any game we played—all had one thing in common. At some point someone made a mistake, and no one could agree on what to do about it, so the always-awesome “do over” was given. Another play, one more swing, another throw—alive just a little longer.

The do over. You’ve got to love it!

My whole life now is based on my desperate need for a do over at one point. (Can you relate?) If you know my story, you know difficult relationships, pain, and heartache wore on me. Irreversible choices were made. Long term consequences from snap decisions were agonizing for awhile. Eventually something like a heavy judgment gavel landed hard in delicate, emotional circumstances. The reality of my mistakes became overwhelming. And the more I talked to people, it seemed no one agreed on what to do about it. In the end I had no idea what to do, and I hoped for a reprieve. But what I desperately wanted was a do over.

I knew one thing even then: there are things that are just wrong. The average, sane person guides their behavior by the Rule of Law in the region they live. The law of the United States where I live maintains a few threads of an immutable law. Some of us know the Ten Commandments from the book of Exodus in the Bible, but in any case, portions of that text are still recognized as reasonable laws for all people at all times in all places. Murder, adultery, stealing, and lying are still acknowledged and enforced in our legal system, for example. The God lover and Jesus follower should be aware of the whole passage (Exodus 20:1-17).

This is the very thing that overwhelmed me in a fresh way more than 20 years ago. Suddenly, I saw where I had broken that law because my infraction was so glaringly obvious. A simple little sentence kick started the whole thing: “For whoever keeps the entire law, yet fails in one point, is guilty of [breaking it] all” (James 2:10 CSB).

Ouch! I’d never read the whole of the Old Testament, but I knew “The Big Ten.”

The “five finger discount” at the store? The not-so-little-or-white lie? I couldn’t write these off anymore. Suddenly, it didn’t fit so comfortably in the “everybody does it” category. Guilty? Just one time was enough? Yes.

If only it had been nothing more than the little infractions! (Honestly, I think that’s why I never worried about it.) Compared to the worst in history…or my friends…or the mugshots in the Post Offices…. No one else’s choices mattered in that nanosecond. Just mine. My heart broke when I realized I was in way over my head. My choices broke the law I hadn’t understood and thought about.

Have you had moments like that? Suddenly you realize you’ve wronged someone, and you feel terrible. The consequences of our actions are sometimes only seen when we understand the impact it has on others. For me, it was the cost another paid for my preference for convenience and comfort. One of the few times the ugly cry left a nearly indelible mark on my heart. Actually, I hope I will always remember that one for the bittersweet tears.

But God. (Two of my favorite words in the Bible anywhere it shows up!)

God, the Holy One who gave that law for our good (to reveal our sin against Him and our need for forgiveness), speaks sweet words to us when we are desperate.

“Come, let us discuss this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they will be like wool. Isaiah 1:18 CSB

I’m not sure there are sweeter words that can be whispered to our souls. How precious that we can see a light at the end of our dark tunnel! The Lord never ignores reality: we’ve really offended Him with our sin. When I’m in that hamster wheel of regret, or when I am reminded of a past I wish I’d never walked, this verse is a reminder of the truth, love, and power of my God. It’s easy to see painful choices as something like a scarlet letter sewn to our clothing, but there is a love that transcends those decisions and actually replaces that red stain with a brilliant-white righteousness from Jesus.

Ah, that’s the beautiful offer of a do over, friend. The difference is that the neighborhood kids don’t judge the situation and agree to grant it. You don’t get to award it to yourself either. It is, however, free for the asking. If you need a do over, it’s as simple as going to the One who wants to lavish one on anyone who wants it.

Do you need a do over? Do you want one?

Sometimes we ask for the first time ever. Sometimes we need to ask for the hundredth time in a day. I’ve been in both places, and I’d love to tell you I’ve reached the point of asking less often for the do over, but I find my sensibilities and sensitivities mature. I know I will hurt others and Jesus with my decisions. There are times I’m not aware even still, but I hope God will continue to sharpen my perception and strengthen my resolve to choose differently.

Do you have questions about the first-time-ever do over? Let any one of the Facets know. We would love to talk about that!

Signature, Jennifer Howe

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for joining us at Facets of Faith. Comment below or check out our Facebook Page to start conversation threads there. Share the posts you love with your friends and family because that’s an excellent way to begin conversations in your personal circle!

Categories // Jennifer Howe's Perspective, Life, The Do Over Tags // Facets of Faith, Faith, Isaiah 1:18, Jennifer J Howe, Righteousness, sin

Do You Need a Do Over?

01.03.2017 by Tracy Stella //

Let me (Tracy) be one of the first to wish you a Happy New Year! In the season of resolutions we may keep ─or not─ we wondered if any of you might be looking for a do over. Will 2017 be the year that helps you live differently than you did before? Will THIS be the year that thing you’ve always done becomes something you never do again?

At the core of things, isn’t that what a New Year’s resolution is?  I desire to do something better, perhaps to BE better in some way.  The whole idea of a do over, or even a New Year’s resolution, seems to be rooted in regret. If only.

If only I could lose that last ten pounds.

If only I could carry out my calling without wanting to check out when it gets too hard.

If only I could hold my tongue when it wants to wag faster than a dog’s tail.

If only I could forget the hurtful words said to me, expunge them from my brain forever.

If only they’d never been said in the first place.

Maybe if only I’d never said them to someone else.

If only that goal I’ve longed to achieve was finally met.

If only the goal didn’t matter so much.

If only I’d never stumble again in the stinky, miry mess of my sin.

If only.

Right about now you may be wondering, what’s so happy about this post ushering in the new year. Hang in there. We’ll circle around like the second hand of a clock clicking around close to midnight. Time will usher in the HAPPY of this message about needing a do over.

Here’s the thing. We all make mistakes. The key is not to live in them, or let them limit the way we live. Each of us has a high calling. We’re called to glorify God, and we can’t do that if we are plunked down in a sea of regret longing for a do over.

When we don’t get it right (and we won’t always), we repent. We turn from sin and turn to our Daddy who loves us in spite of our sinful nature.

We accept God’s forgiveness and we move forward. Because that’s what He wants us to do.  He’s a God who gives us chances. Lots and lots of chances, because He knows He’s in the process of changing us at His pace and through His grace.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and STRAINING toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.─Philippians 3:13-15 NIV  (capitalization emphasis mine)

The Greek word for straining is epekteinō which means to extend, to stretch forward, reaching forward.₁

We’re not called to reach back and take hold. We’re called to forget about those regrets, to forget about the sin (ours and others) that wants to entangle us. Instead, we’re commanded to stretch forward as if we’re a third basemen trying to get the game winning out. Reach for it. Because it matters.

We’re called to reach forward, because that’s where the prize is located. Our view as mature believers in Christ should be that facing forward gaze that looks to where our Heavenly Father is guiding us. Where we are going. Not where we have gone.

At some point, we need to think differently than the world. The promise in Scripture: God will make it clear to us. He’ll show us the view, the vantage point, He wants us to gaze at a thing from.

What if God is using our lack to show us things about ourselves? What if God is using our lack to show us things about Himself? On both accounts, He is.

What if our desire for a do over is really pointing to something God wants to help us deal with?

I’ll let you sit with that question for a minute.

What if our desire for a do over is really pointing to something God wants to help us deal with?

The song “Blessings” is playing right now in my earphones. What if the trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

What if.

Sometimes, if you’re anything like me, it takes a bit to understand a reaction. Why did that bother me so? Why is that thing (or that person) hitting a nerve? What is it about that proverbial last straw that says, I can’t take another thing? It’s not the last straw that set you on edge. It’s everything that has led up to that, layer by layer, until there’s a signal God allows through that says enough is enough.

Sometimes, He’s showing us a need not being met in our desire for a do over.

Certainly, our need for Him in all things. Like King David, we cry out to the Lord.

Hear me, LORD, and answer me,

for I am poor and needy.

Guard my life for I am faithful to you;

save your servant who trusts in you.

You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord,

for I call to you all day long.

─Psalm 86:1-3 NIV

Every day would be a day I’d regret if I didn’t have God and didn’t know I could call out to Him in my need. I have great need for His mercy, grateful His mercies are new every day (Lamentations 3:22-23)─and that I don’t have to wait for a new year to roll around for them to come again.

I love King David and his example. He gives me hope. Even in his sin, he called himself a faithful servant of the Lord. A servant who trusted God. Even in my sin, I can call myself a faithful servant of the Lord. A servant who trusted God. So can you. More of God’s mercy dispensed to His kids who want to do well, but don’t always.

Even while we are meeting the needs of others (perhaps more so) God wants to make sure our needs are being met. If we ignore the signals, He’ll allow them to get louder. It’s part of His merciful plan to turn up the volume.

That’s not My best for you.

That’s NOT My best for you!

THAT’S NOT MY BEST FOR YOU!

My best for you looks like boundaries and margin. Not doing more, but less.

The boundaries and the margin are for me, needs God wants to meet in my life. Maybe that’s not your issue, the thing God is trying to give you His best in.

But what is His best for you this new merciful day early in 2017? What is He revealing He wants you to possess, so you can be your best? Remember our high calling as believers? We are to reveal His glory. Embracing His goodness, letting Him fill us with His love when we are empty, allowing Him to lead and guide our life─really, fully, all the way … even when it’s hard.

What is God showing you in your need for a do over? What good does He want to bring forth like the rising of the sun on a fresh, new day as He helps you elevate higher?

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

 

₁Thomas, R. L. (1998). New American Standard Hebrew-Aramaic and Greek dictionaries : updated edition. Anaheim: Foundation Publications, Inc.

Categories // Faith, The Do Over, Tracy Stella's Perspective Tags // Blessings, do-over, Faithful Servant, forgiveness, God's Best, Lack, Mercy, Mistakes, New Year's resolution, Philippians 3:13-15, Regret, sin, Straining toward the goal, Trials

When All I Have to Offer is Broken

12.20.2016 by Kim Findlay //

This month at Facets of Faith we’re answering the question, “what do I have to offer?”. Tracy and Jen have shared their heart-felt responses, ones you don’t want to miss. Take a moment and jump over to their pages to see how they responded.


I (Kim) was terrified. The divorce was final and I had started the slow rebuild of all that was damaged. I felt unsure, unsteady, and unworthy. But there I sat at the computer, rereading the email for the eighth time.

We’d love to have you back to share the story of the death of your daughter and how you trusted God.

It took a few moments for the invitation to sink in. I spoke at this church a few years prior and shared my story of trusting God after the death of a child. I offered practical tips on how I learned to trust Him. But that was before the divorce.

I started to feel like a fraud as I read. What did I have to offer? My marriage fell apart and I almost did, too. I still cried. A lot. I questioned and wondered and struggled. I talked with God about my pain and loss all the time but didn’t seem to have many answers. I felt broken, damaged, and unusable.

All I wanted to do was to offer God my best. But during that season of my life, my best didn’t feel all that great. I looked around and saw other people doing great things for Him: impacting countries, writing transformational books, and making real differences in peoples’ lives.

And then there was me.

Broken. Grief-filled. Wrestling and struggling with life. Not all the time, of course. But it seemed every time I took a step or two forward, I got knocked back three or four.

I sat in front of my computer, hoping the answer would jump out from between the lines. I wanted to be honest — with Him and myself. Yes, I wanted to offer my best, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized what I really wanted to offer was perfection.

I wanted to show God the pristine pictures and put-together poses. I didn’t want to show the frustrations and painful places that still plagued me. I didn’t want him or anyone else to see all those broken pieces I kept trying to sweep up and hide.

Perhaps you can relate?

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b, NLT

My heart was broken, but it was still beating, even begun to heal. During those dark days I started to hear a quiet voice whisper soothing sounds to my soul. I experienced God in ways I’d only tasted before.

I love you.

But if you only knew . . .

I do know, and I love you. Nothing will ever change that or take you away from me.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39, NLT

But what about the time I . . .

Not even that.

But I ‘m scared. What will people say?

It’s okay. I’m with you. I will never leave you.

I have nothing to offer you, nothing good. My life is full of broken pieces.

That’s enough. Trust me with them. Watch what I can create.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20

Broken pieces. A shattered heart and failed marriage. A life filled with sorrow and years of disappointment. Oh, and tears — gallons of tears cried in the shadows. To the world, my life looked like a mess, but to God? Well, to Him, there was value. There is value.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8, NLT

Like a child offering a precious gift to a loving parent, I held out all my broken pieces and offered them all to Him. I named each piece and placed them at His feet. When I was done, I felt empty, yet somehow at peace. I trusted He would remind me of His love and grace on days I tried to take my offering back and on the days I felt strong.

I chose to trust He will do what He said and create something beautiful out of the ugly mess. So I hit reply to the email and said yes. After all, I had much to offer.

And so do you.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3, NLT

Jump in and join the conversation here or over on our Facebook page. We love to hear from you!

Categories // Kim Findlay's Perspective, Life, What Do I Have to Offer Tags // brokenness, divorce, grief, healing, hope, Kim Findlay

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