Facets of Faith

What Would I Give Up To Maintain My Freedom?

09.06.2016 by Tracy Stella //

For me (Tracy), I think it’s something I have to give up daily. Daily, I need to relinquish control, to surrender to God and all He has for me.

On the surface that sounds simple. God is good. He’s carried me through many a storm. Yet, still I sometimes take control back into my own hands. Fortunately, I don’t carry it as long as I used to. I can more readily recognize the tale-tale signs of carrying too much.

Crankiness, holding my breath, feeling overwhelmed, resentment, and a whole host of behaviors I don’t like seeing manifest are all symptoms of the sickness of taking on more than I am supposed to.

When you’ve crashed and burned like a plane making an emergency landing, you know what it feels like to go down in flames. When I try to take control of the steering instead of allowing God to guide me safely to my destination, it’s never good. Oh, He’ll work it for my good, but I’m bound to hit some turbulence.

Bumpy rides are part of the package when we do things our way rather than God’s. Thankfully, these days it’s not a ten year detour that takes me far off course. When we follow God and seek Him daily, He reroutes us. It’s like when we miss a turn and our GPS says, in 500 feet make a U-Turn. We get a chance to try again before we’re half way around the world flying in the wrong direction.

Giving up control, surrendering to God has to be a daily discipline. I must be intentional in my letting go, so I can let God. Otherwise, all I’m doing is interfering with His plan.

Recently, I heard a radio interview discussing cars without steering wheels becoming commonplace. We’ve all heard of the technology, but are we ready for that reality? Would you give up control of your car to let a computer drive you from point A to point B? What if there’s a virus? Giving up full control of my car to a computer without any override option doesn’t feel safe or wise. Have you ever had to push ctrl, alt, delete to restart your computer?

But God is not a computer with a potential virus that could corrupt the whole plan. God is God and he has a great plan for you and for me. In order for that to be fulfilled we need to follow Him.

In order to maintain my freedom I need to give control to the One who created me in the first place. He created me to be free, to live life to the full. He created me to walk as an expression of Him and His love. I can’t do that if I take back control.

I wish I could say I never did that anymore, that my faith was so rock-solid that I handed over control to God fully and completed for everything each and every day. Not so. I’m better than I was, but I still have a long way to go. These days when I see it I think, Oops that’s not mine to carry. Give it back to God … AGAIN.

I’ve given up control on some big things–very big things. I can be walking in freedom for a long time, and then that not-so-little control freak inside of me waiting to jump out and take charge pops up out of nowhere. Jack get back in your box! I thought I was rid of you. Grrrrr! Who wound you up anyway?

I think now where God has me is this place of giving Him control when I feel very responsible for others. Releasing control doesn’t mean acting on impulse or in irresponsible ways. He’s teaching me it is okay to let go of control; it doesn’t mean mass chaos will ensue. I’m giving control to God who is far more effective than I will ever be, but that He wants me to walk in His image. Lead by His example and definitely give control where it belongs—to God.

He’ll show me the way. He did yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. He’ll do it again.

When I don’t give God control, quite frankly it’s not good. I’m locking myself in a prison of performance, perfectionism, worry, fear, and a host of ill side effects. Clinging to control is tainted, ugly, and an illusion I like to call a lie. We don’t have control. None! Not even an ounce of it. So why do we kid ourselves into thinking we have any? Ridiculous! Can I get an amen?

What happens when we give up control to God in order to maintain our freedom? We get a gift from Him, one He gives every captive set free from the illusion of control that wants to squeeze the very life out of us.

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.—Isaiah 26:3 ESV

Perfect peace is part of our walking in freedom. Not partial peace. Perfect peace. When we trust in God, we keep focused on Him. As long as our minds are focused on God, we won’t focus on self and all the things we could, should, would do. Instead, we lean back against Jesus in the boat while the storms are raging outside. We won’t worry about sinking, unless it’s into the arms of our Savior.

That’s an image the Lord gave me ahead of an assignment He called me to. He’s asked me to help women who have been sexually exploited or human trafficked. That can feel daunting and overwhelming, and did for a blip on the radar screen. Until I kept hearing the Lord say, Be still and know that I am the Lord (Psalm 46:10).

I want to do well by these women. They’ve been through terrors unimaginable. I want to execute well. I want to do my best and be an excellent ambassador for Christ. I want all those things and more. I feel God is reassuring me I will, if I surrender my will to His. DAILY. Isn’t that true for us all? With everything?

In order to do the big things of God, we need to say good-bye to the illusion of control. It’s not real. It’s not even reliable. Give God control. He knows where He wants to take you, what you should pack, and who will join you on the journey. Hope you’re ready for an exciting trip!

What is God asking you to do to maintain (or move toward) freedom?

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

How Has Forgiveness Transformed My Relationships?

08.23.2016 by Laura Forman //

This month we are honored to share the words and wisdom of our guest contributor and friend, Laura Forman. We think you’ll be blessed by her perspective on the power of forgiveness.

The question I was asked to reflect upon is, “How has forgiveness transformed my relationships?” What I love more than being asked is the presumption I actually practice forgiveness.

My younger brother picked the measly lock and read my diary when I was 12 and gushing on about my love for the neighbor boy. Prying into my deep, innermost secrets wasn’t enough; he couldn’t help but blab all the details to you know who. I was enraged. Mom made him apologize, and I was to forgive. Obviously, I’m not completely over it and have more work to do.

I’m sure you have even bigger hurts than stolen diaries, and I’m no different. All of my important relationships have brought some level of pain. Some relationships didn’t last, most have, and forgiveness has helped both.

Embarrassing as it is, until about six years ago, I gave only lip service to forgiveness. How does one forgive? I thought it was something I just had to think about. I assumed it was a head thing; I tried to will myself to forgive. However, I got no results. I was imprisoned in misery until I absolutely had to learn to forgive.

Even now, I’m not perfect (though I’m still holding hope). I have been known to: take things personally, etch all harms into my long term memory, craft detailed arguments to shift blame away from me, put up emotional walls, re-hash conflict and let resentment permeate my mind even when that person is no longer a part of my life. None of this is forgiveness.

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not and you will not be condemned; forgive and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you used it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:37-38

Forgiveness hasn’t merely transformed my relationships, it has transformed me. Here’s what I’ve learned about it so far:

It takes introspection.

Relationships are great mirrors. When frustrated with someone’s behavior, it’s usually because I’m guilty of the exact same thing. And, if there is someone to forgive, chances are I’ve contributed to the issue in some big or small way.

I look at myself with honesty, admit my part and make amends without hesitation.

“How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye…” Luke 6:42

It takes repetition.

I may think I’ve moved on, but if the thought of the wrong brings with it all the hurt feelings, then I’m not done. If the thought of the person or action doesn’t bring empathy to my heart, I have not forgiven. Forgiveness takes practice, patience and extended grace.

There is no limit to forgiveness. I will always forgive.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seven times seventy times.” Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV/KJV)

It’s the key to happiness.

My faith story shows a clear before and after. Worry, fear, shame and despair each turned to their opposite, in an instant. I was touched by Spirit and transformed. I was forgiven by God for the complete mess I had made of my life. The forgiveness I receive gives me the power and obligation to in turn forgive others.

Forgiveness lightens my burdens and creates freedom in my life.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

It’s not up to me.

Ultimately what allows me to forgive is the belief that God is in charge and I am not. He is the only one qualified to change hearts and dole justice, in ways much more effective than my own. I believe the promise that He is working out all circumstances for my good if I follow His commands, especially to love no matter what.

Each challenge is a reminder to rely on God to fight my battles. My focus is on following Jesus.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… Romans 12:19-20

It was a forgone conclusion that forgiveness is a big part of my life because of my faith, because I take it seriously. If you’ve not felt the transformative power of forgiveness, give it a chance. Learn from the best teacher, He’s given us a road map in His word. You have nothing to lose but your prison.

What Role Does Forgiveness Play in Transforming Relationships?

08.16.2016 by Tracy Stella //

Forgiveness. That’s the topic this month. If you haven’t had a chance to read what Kim and Jennifer have to say about it, take a look at their perspectives. My guess is most of us can use several different angles to embrace the significant role it plays in our relationships.

There’s a reason we hear so many sermons on forgiveness: because it’s hard to forgive. We can want to because we know we should. Even then, our flesh may argue and say “I don’t want to” or “I can’t”. Certainly, I’ve participated in those internal wrestling matches.

What do you do when the person you need to forgive most (or first) is yourself? What do you do when you were the one in the wrong?

Forgiving ourselves may be the very place many of us need to start the grace-filled process. How we treat ourselves reflects how we will treat others. Every relationship we have is first sourced in the relationship we have with me, myself, and I.

If we judge ourselves harshly, we will judge others in that fashion as well.

We’re all more fragile than perhaps we’re willing to admit. We need to be gentle and tender with ourselves, because God calls us to be kind and gentle—to ourselves too. Repent, yes. Absolutely. Beat ones’ self up? No. Absolutely not.

Some people feel they don’t deserve forgiveness. I’ve felt that way before. I’ve been my very best punisher, at least some of the time. Maybe you have done that to yourself too.

Early in my walk with the Lord, I disassociated from my sinful self. I was ashamed of “her” – who I was before the Lord set this former captive free. My finger pointed disapprovingly at me. I was harsh with who I once was, running fast and far from my former actions. Perhaps this is where the saying “shame on you” comes from. When we don’t forgive ourselves, we’re participating in the enemy’s plan to place shame on us and inhibit our effectiveness for Christ.

When we don’t feel worthy, who else will think we are? That’s exactly where the enemy wants to keep us. Inhibited. Ineffective. In shame. And shame leads to sin. Think about it. It stands to reason if we think we’re not worthy of forgiveness, we could think “might as well just go ahead and sin anyhow”. I’ve seen this in my own life. I’ve seen it in ministry. It’s an awful sight.

It’s an avoidable sight.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control; against such things there is no law.—Galatians 5:22-23 ESV

Against such things there is no law. There is no law against being kind and gentle with ones’ self. We need to be. Our destiny depends on it. As we grow in our ability to be kind and gentle toward ourselves, the Spirit will produce even more good fruit in and through us. We’ll be gentle with others as well.

So if you are in a place where you find it difficult to forgive yourself, consider the impact on God’s kingdom. Do it for the sake of all the good fruit you will produce for God. Don’t let shame and unforgiveness interfere with your destiny. What God has planned for you is far too important for that!

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.—Ephesians 2:10 ESV

Forgiveness is one of those good works God desires us to walk in. He prepared forgiveness before we were born. He packaged it, expecting one day we’d open the box in anticipation of all it offered. He shed His blood on the cross so we could walk, head held high knowing we are forgiven and free and blessed beyond measure. We know we don’t deserve forgiveness, yet we accept it. Fully. God wants us to.

Don’t return the gift He has given.

It’s yours. He wants you to have it. Receive it even if it’s extravagant. It is and that’s by God’s design. Forgiveness packs the power to transform your relationship with God, yourself, and everyone else you encounter.

What is God asking you to forgive yourself for today? How will forgiveness affect the relationship with yourself? How will forgiving yourself affect the relationships you have with others?

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