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Finding Hope in Life’s Storms

02.16.2016 by Kim Findlay //

Hi! Welcome to FACETS of Faith! We’re in the final week of sharing a brief glimpse into our life stories. It’s our hope that as you read through ours, God will reveal a thread of truth through your own.

Life Story

I love stories. Moving a lot as a child, my books and stories were constant companions regardless of where I lived. I could plunge into a mystery with Nancy Drew or go on an adventure through the wardrobe with Lucy and her siblings. I even remember my very first favorite book. I was three and loved to read Hamilton Duck’s Springtime Story with my mom. It was a gripping tale of a duck who fell asleep under a magnolia tree only to wake and think he was stuck in a snowstorm right in the middle of spring. Hamilton eventually realized he wasn’t stuck in a storm, but (spoiler alert!) magnolia petals as they fluttered down from the tree.

I remember being pulled into the story, wondering alongside Hamilton how in the world it could snow in spring. My mom read the story to me so many times I eventually knew which words went with which pictures and could “read” it back to her. But even though I knew the story, I still felt joy with Hamilton when he figured out it wasn’t snowing after all.

I love when stories do that: when we’re pulled in by the details of the story and feel what the characters feel and see what the characters see. I’m surprised when they’re surprised and feel fearful when they’re afraid. It’s a thrill and yet dangerous all at the same time. I zero in on what’s happening, and often lose sight of the bigger picture.

Kind of like Hamilton.

Truth be told, that happens to me in life, too. I get so wrapped up in the details of my life that I almost miss the bigger story God is writing.

I look at my life and see very clear chapters . . . maybe volumes: my childhood, teen years, early mamahood, a blended family, until . . . tragedy struck through the death of my youngest daughter followed years later by a heart-wrenching divorce.

It would’ve been easy to stay stuck there, mired in those details. To gaze at that part of my story and only see the snow, just like Hamilton the duck. I could’ve remained in the sorrow and grief, allowing it to consume me, define me.

And yet . . .

Through those devastating years I learned there was an Author who had been writing my story all along, allowing the good and the bad as He worked to accomplish a greater plan.

“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.” Hebrews 11b-12a, NIV

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

I learned that God is good, regardless of my circumstances. In fact the heartbreak, the sorrow, and the sadness all seemed to highlight His goodness, not as the world defines good, but as Scripture defines it.

“Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13, NLT

And oh, how I have seen His goodness! No, my precious daughter no longer walks this earth, and my heart yearns to hold her once more. But until that day, the sweetness of God’s comfort through those moments of sorrow gives me the strength to wait.

He has provided deep friendships and loving relationships. He shifted my perspective from the details of my circumstances to see the bigger plan He is creating and how my story fits that plan.

He has gifted me with a heart of hope—not in circumstances but hope in believing God is who He says He is and will do all He says He will do. He allowed me to experience the darkest moments a human can: staring death through the eyes of my daughter, as He revealed His love to me even in that—the stuff of nightmares. His deep, abiding, lavish love that knows no bounds or limits.

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

And now? Now He is redeeming those years of broken hearts and shattered dreams. He’s revealing the work He’s done in me in order to pour out His grace through me so I can encourage others to find hope and healing through seasons of loss. I’m able to create safe space for people to hear that facing our worst nightmares may be our reality but He is bigger, He is stronger, He is with us, and He is victorious!

Then one day, when the time on earth has come to an end, God promises that everything we hoped for, everything we longed for, all of our brokenness will be fully healed.

“I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, ‘Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.’” Revelation 21:3-4 NLT

And then we’ll see that the snowstorm in our lives just might become fluttering magnolia petals, just like Hamilton.

Kim Signature

Categories // Kim Findlay's Perspective, Life Tags // grief, healing, hope, life story, loss, stories, truth

The Road I’ve Walked

02.09.2016 by Jennifer Howe //

Life Stories: JenniferHello, welcome to FACETS of Faith! Before we begin to get to know each other through a variety of conversations, the team is taking the opportunity to share our stories. We hope you’ll find points of connection as we share; and if you do, will you take the time to let us know? Something special grows out of the little “Me, too!” moments when we share our stories.

Hello

I’m Jennifer. I’m affectionately known as “the middle child” on the team, and I have the opportunity to share between two beautiful friends. Tracy’s story last week was precious, and you’ll meet Kim next time.

As I consider my story I scramble to sift through a disorganized pile of snapshot memories and events, hoping to get to “the essence of Jen” somehow. It’s a challenge to choose the milestones on the road I’ve walked. I might be tempted to share my “highlight reel” of carefully selected mountaintop moments, or I could choose to line up my lowest moments to establish a completely different connection. The truth is, life is somewhere between the two all the time—there are highs, lows, and the overlooked, mundane middle. All the stories shape me, and I hold a box of mixed memories to share as honestly as I remember them.

A quiet neighborhood was most of my world until high school. My older sisters spent time with the same core group while I tried to tag along. Sometimes I was too little to keep up, but I felt too old to be paired with my younger sister. My mom tried to contain me, but there were pick-up games of whiffle ball, football, frisbee, and every kind of tag in the empty lot across the street. Homemade go-carts raced on the hills we all knew as “Death I” and “Death II,” and my dad, who could engineer nearly anything, may have given us a leg up on those races. When I think about the core group in the neighborhood, its’ no surprise I was a tomboy and participated in competitive sports.

The Middle Child

See? I’ve always been a middle child, and that’s how some of my basic life skills were learned (aside from waiting right where I was when I was left or forgotten). I’m convinced some “middles” may develop their fascinating combination of laidback and competitive natures because the effort-versus-reward decision comes lightning-fast. Heaven help the poor soul between this middle and her goal. At least, that was the case once upon a time.

Hard Things

Idyllic life in the neighborhood gave way to harsh reality. Children can be cruel. Adults can make wrong choices out of their own hurts or hang-ups (as a parent, I know this too well). The road became marked with hard things: teasing, shaming, anger, and abuses. I built thick, protective walls around me. The big milestones in life can be hurts that leave marks and make us fearful and angry. Not surprisingly, fear and anger drove my increasingly bad choices, and I hit the guardrail hard!

When I was 24, resentment toward anything “Christian” in name set in. By then, I’d become a toughened, feminist personality full of fire. I never saw it coming, and I’m sure no one else who knew me did either. God sent an intelligent, logical (oblivious) personality to talk about Jesus and trust. One day, I’ll share that sweet story in detail.

Self-protection to Something Else

I was living a life focused on protecting myself and my interests. I had perfected the art of hurting others before I got hurt. When I was introduced to the genuine, loving, and truthful heart and mind of God, something had to change. These verses were pivotal in June of 1994:

Do not remember the past events, pay no attention to things of old. Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19 CSB

For those who identify with their old nature set their minds on the things of the old nature, but those who identify with the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. Romans 8:5 CJB

For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father!” Romans 8:15 CSB

Healing

The truth? Healing began when I discovered what the pages of the big, old Book I’d been reading my whole life contained. Inside the Bible were stories of God’s men and women, the heroes of the faith, and they were as human and broken as me. Their stories connected to one another, and they connected to my life thousands of years later.

The ultimate hero appeared when I read the book of John. I met the God who was, is, and is to come. I met the genuine “God with us” Jesus on those pages in a surprising way. When I dumped my preconceived notions and read the Bible with an unguarded heart, everything changed. I was free to see the whole book in a fresh light.

That was the antidote. The hurts and emotional hang-ups wouldn’t last forever. My wounds could be healed—maybe not in five minutes or even five years for some—but healing and change were possible. My ugly offenses against God and everybody could be resolved and forgiven. Then I could begin healing from what others had inflicted. Progress, not perfection.

When I encountered the truth of the Bible and Jesus, as He really is, it was a fresh beginning on the road with a new milestone. This one was larger and differently shaped. In the middle of my road stood an imposing, rough-hewn, wooden cross stained with Jesus’ blood, and it was precious.

Thanks for reading! We hope you’ll join the conversation in the comments below or at our Facebook page.

Signature, Jennifer Howe

Categories // Jennifer Howe's Perspective, Life Tags // Isaiah 43:18-19, life story, Romans 8:15, Romans 8:5

If I had to sum up my life story, it would be this…

02.02.2016 by Tracy Stella //

In an attempt to begin our conversation, we here at FACETS of Faith want to start by sharing a bit of who we are and how we got to this point. However, when we‘re not ten any longer, how do we sum up our life’s story?

Life Story Tracy Color Image March 2016 PostIt feels impossible. A handful of words are like a drop of rain in a vast ocean, barely able to make a ripple. How can I share who I am with any depth? Yet still I try, because it’s how every good conversation starts … with an attempt to connect often through a sharing of story.

Here are a few droplets of mine. Their culmination helped carry me to where I am today.

Children begin with open and trusting hearts. I was sensitive. I could get lost nose first in a book for hours. At times, my shy side would come out, right shoulder lifted high, chin tucked down to meet it as my eyes averted whatever made me feel timid. Maddeningly, my body language still betrays me.

The problem with being sensitive without being grounded in a strong sense of who you are—you get hurt. Little by little, layer by layer, life cut deep. You lose your way. That’s what I did. I tripped and fell flat on my tear-stained face. Salt water shed as a result of life’s vast ocean, choppy at times. The downward spiral didn’t happen overnight.

We don’t have time to make every stop along memory lane, but one comes to mind. It’s small and might seem inconsequential. Like so many other drops, Satan used it to build a case of deception against me.  Drops of life distorted.

It’s third grade. The teacher asks the class to line up single file. One by one we stood. Each person on display like those prized possessions we’d bring for Show and Tell.

The class sat legs tucked beneath our wooden desks, carved initials scratched into the surface and the occasional clump of chewing gum beneath. We surveyed the room as the teacher asked us to line up one by one.

Who would like to stand next to Janice?

Hands flew up. Pick me they implored with their impatient waving.

Who would like to stand next to so and so? And so and so?

On and on it went. The class responded with exuberance to each child on display — or so it seemed as I explore the soft tissue of truth from my little girl self. It may not be exactly so, but it’s how I remember it. Excited and animated hand waving.

Who would like to stand next to Tracy?

No movement. Hands stayed still. Eyes averted.

Vulnerable and exposed it was hard to feel the not being chosen.  It seemed like I stood there for an eternity. My 3rd grade self-esteem smashed as tears tumbled. No one wanted to line up next to me, which I equated to not measuring up.

Not pretty enough.

Not good enough.

Not nice enough.

Not enough.

Not.

All those knots in my little girl stomach meant I was not.

Over years and years of knots and nots, I looked for other ways to untangle those emotions—to feel more than a not. I didn’t know who I was, nor did I feel worthy.

When a girl grows into a woman and doesn’t know her worth, waves bound to crash upon her. Scratchy sand of life abrades the skin. Ouch!

But then I met Love. Not the kind in romance novels. Real Love. The type of Love I had been searching for my entire life.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. — 1 John 4:7-8 ESV (emphasis mine)

God is Love. Authentic. Genuine. Real Love. No matter what. He waves His hand and says, I want to stand by you, Tracy. I choose you. And He does. And He does. And He does. Wave after wave of lavish love that overwhelms my heart. So good. What I was searching for my whole life.

If I had to sum up my life story, it would be this…

God chose me and He loved me back to life. His love has removed many of the “nots”. He’s worked and still works to change them into “knows”. He builds my confidence as He shows how much He cares.

I am grateful for the awareness of God’s love and how that helps me to know who I really am . His truth changed my life forever. And it continues to bolster my faith and encourage me as He shows His love in big and small ways. Every way a drop to fill my life’s ocean with His love.

Why?

Certainly, He loves me.

Why else?

He has loved me well.  Now He wants His love to splash upon others who need to know it too.

Splish. Splash. Love’s mad dash to reach His daughters.

That doesn’t mean love is always easy. It wasn’t easy to receive love and it’s not always easy to give it either.

Love takes courage.

Love changes our countenance.

Love changes lives.

The risk of love is worth it. That’s what I’ve learned. I’m so glad I took the leap and dove deep into God’s love head first. When the waves of life get too choppy, I dive beneath the surface and submerse myself in God’s love again. And again.

Signature Block - Tracy

 

 

Categories // Life, Tracy Stella's Perspective Tags // 1 John 4:7-8, God's love, life story

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