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What do you do for fun?

06.05.2018 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to Facets of Faith. This month we want you to dive deep with us into fun. Our prayer is you take time to explore what fun looks like to you. We hope you’re inspired to try one or two of the things we love. Look for Jennifer’s and Kim’s posts later this month to get a few more ideas to help you find your fun.

What Do You Do for Fun? (T. Stella)

Feel that? It’s sunshine warming after winter’s thaw. I (Tracy) turn my face toward the sky like a flower in search of photosynthesis-producing rays. I want to soak it all in, like life.  There’s much to see. There’s much to feel. There’s much to experience. If we are going to encounter difficulty, and we will, it’s imperative we are intentional about finding fun. We all need joy. We all need laughter. We all need those things which are good for our soul.

Toes touching sand cooled by the ocean’s waves and the smell of sea salt air to fill our lungs.  Stress strips away as frothy water laps on shore before it retreats into the ocean.  The beach has always been one of my happy places that fills my soul. At one point in life, I wanted to quit my job and operate a catamaran in the Caribbean, transporting tourists to interesting destinations. (It’s true.) I think the only thing that stopped me was knowing I needed to be responsible for my son’s sake. My previously impulsive nature harnessed, because I had someone who needed more stability and structure than that lifestyle would have allowed.

That desire does speak to a part of me which hasn’t changed even though decades have elapsed since then: it’s my spirit of adventure. Adventure is what intrigued me about the idea of running a catamaran tour in the turquoise waters with palm trees waving me toward the islands. Imagine the people I’d meet. Imagine the sights I’d see. Imagine the pace at which I’d live life – not go, go, go. Rather, go a little and enjoy life while you’re getting to where you’re going.

I do a lot more of that now. I’ll run fast and hard sometimes, but I’ll feel the need to slow down and have fun. When I feel the need, I give myself permission to have fun. Take a break.

In various seasons of life I’ve even scheduled fun into my calendar (which doesn’t sound all that fun when you like to be spontaneous like I do, BUT it’s better than the alternative of not getting in some good times while we’re going). Sometimes, we need to be intentional with our fun finding.

My idea of fun looks different that it used to in many ways. God continues to align my heart with His, purifying my desires. It’s true what Scripture says: God gives us the desires of our heart. (See Psalm 37:4) Not every wish and dream and fancy. More like, “Let me show you something I know you will love.” He puts a pure desire in our heart and then shows us how good it can be and how very much it will bless us. God is generous in His goodness. If you don’t know that already, I pray you get to know Him─really get to know Him─and His goodness.

Yes, we are to honor God. We are to worship Him. We are to do what is right and holy and good in His eyes. But what if we ARE honoring Him and worshipping Him by enjoying the good gifts He gives us. I suggest to you that is exactly the case. Having fun is a form of worship. The Lord loves to see us delight in the good gifts He gives. When we enjoy Him, His presence, and His gifts we are giving back to God.

Every time we say, “Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness”, we show Him that we don’t take Him or His gifts for granted.

What do we really have to give God that He hasn’t already given us first? Not money. It’s His in the first place. Not love. We only love because He first loved us. (See 1 John 4:19) I am not suggesting we don’t give God our money or that we don’t give God our love. Of course, we do! I’m just saying we only are ABLE to give them because He gave them to us first.

We can, however, express our heartfelt gratitude to Him for His goodness.  We can give Him that gift. When He’s generous with us, we should thank Him. And when we’re looking and paying attention, we’ll notice how lavish His generosity is in our lives. That certainly has been my experience.

On your feet now─applaud God!

   Bring a gift of laughter,

   sing yourselves into his presence.

 Know this: God is God, and God, God.

   He made us. We didn’t make him.

   We’re his people, his well-tended sheep.

 Enter with the password: “Thank you!”

   Make yourselves at home, talking praise.

   Thank him. Worship him.

 For God is sheer beauty,

   all-generous in love,

   loyal always and ever.

 ─Psalm 100 The Message

When I’m having fun, you’ll hear me laugh (perhaps from miles away … my laugh is pretty loud!).  Our laughter is a gift to God. We can wrap it up in all its splendor and give it to Him as a gift for all His glorious goodness. He is so generous toward us; we should be generous to Him in return. Laugh. Laugh a lot! You will be giving your Father great joy.

We enter His presence with the password “Thank you!” I love that! We have a not-so-secret password to usher us into God’s presence. Thank You! In God’s presence is where we will find fun. He shines His light on the path He wants to lead us along. He is not a slave-driving task master. He’s a lavish, love-giving God who delights in sharing His goodness with us. And since He made us, He knows what will bless us. He knows that far better than even we know it ourselves.

My husband and I just returned from vacation. I like exploring, taking in fresh sights and experiencing new adventures. And if you even try to take me to a chain restaurant, especially on vacation, just ask my husband how much I’ll stubbornly stomp my feet in revolt! He now knows better than to suggest such an outlandish idea … if he wants to have an enjoyable vacation.  He’s learned a thing or two about his wife over the years.  (giggle) No chain restaurants will keep her happy. And happy is a good head start to having fun!

This year we did something new for vacation. We drove down to Branson, MO. Our primary objective was to take our motorcycles and go exploring down winding roads that would definitely qualify for “the road less travelled”.

Often, we were the only two on the road. For miles and miles.  At times, the road conditions were technical in nature.  That’ll get your adrenaline going! I can’t lie. At first, I was a little nervous rounding all the curves and navigating all the ups and downs of the terrain. Not knowing what’s ahead can be scary. True in life as well. But we keep going. We stretch. We grow. We go slow … until we can accelerate and our muscles ease as we relax into the unknown, open road.  It’s far easier to navigate the turns when we’re not tense. Every once in awhile there’s gravel to look out for, but as long as we see it and can make adjustments we’re still in for a fun-filled day without risking a crash.

My eyes absorbed nature’s hues as my engine hummed. I wished I could blink my eyes and take a snapshot of all the beautiful scenery as we went. Some of the views were absolutely spectacular and I was wishing for a way to help me remember them all. If I looked long and hard enough perhaps they’d permanently etch upon my mind.

God knows I love nature. And God knows I love new things. He knew I’d love this trip! But He needed to start preparation a year ahead. You see, I only learned how to ride a motorcycle last year. While we were on vacation, a Facebook timeline memory came up from the previous year of me learning to ride a small cycle in a church yard. I had just learned how to shift the bike into second gear. It felt exhilarating and a little terrifying, because I didn’t want to crash into anything. When I managed to successfully shift into 2nd gear, I shouted “I did it! I did it!” laughing all the while.

Because God had prepared me for our trip to Branson a year in advance with over 4,000 miles underneath my belt, I was able to settle into a new experience with Him and have a lot of fun while doing so.

Maybe your fun will require some advance preparation too.  Any future marathon runners out there?

While we traversed the Missouri roads together, I couldn’t quit thanking God for His goodness and for the beauty of His creation. There were a few times when I was so thrilled that I visualized myself doing a pirouette for God, twirling for Him in my imagination, a special thank You dance in my mind. I giggled at my silliness, but then I thought to myself, I bet you God rather likes that I am having so much fun with Him out on the open road.

I know it. I felt peace. I felt pleasure. I felt the desires of my heart being met out on the open road. And it felt good. It felt like a fun I didn’t know I needed until I got to experience it first-hand!

How has God shown you how to have fun with Him? What new desire is He growing in your heart? Commit to having fun with God. You have a summer assignment from me if you are up to the challenge. Go on at least one new adventure with God to explore a new way You can experience Him and encounter something fun You haven’t yet done.  I’d love to hear what you try and what you thought of the experience. Stretch out of your comfort zone.  And don’t forget to get to your feet and applaud God for His goodness at the new gifts He gives you. Thank Him as a form of worship -for His all-generous love and goodness!

Be blessed. Have fun. Life is short here on earth. Let’s enjoy it!

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Signature Image: Tracy Stella

Categories // Faith, Joy/Humor, Tracy Stella's Perspective Tags // 1 John 4:19, Adventure, Beach, Branson, Fun, Generous God, Gifts, Gratitude, laughter, Motorcycle, Psalm 100, Psalm 37:4, Thank You, Worship

When I’m Afraid: 3 Steps to Beating Fear in Relationships

10.10.2017 by Jennifer Howe //

Thanks for visiting, friend. This month’s topic has been a wonderful introspective opportunity. Tracy shared her thoughts last week HERE, Kim is up next week, and our guest, Megan, will wrap up the following week. We’ve been thinking about trusting God with our fears, and we’re pretty sure this topic relates.

Can I really trust God? On days that go smooth-as-silk, it can be easy—or I may not even ask that question at all. When my heart and mind are weakened by fear; admittedly, it’s tough.

People, personal space, and sharing my fragile self with others—it looks like very mild social anxiety, I suppose. The truth is, entering into relationships can be hard. If I’m honest, I admit to having a smidge of fear when people are different than me. Initially it was noticeable with men: they tend to be bigger, broader, imposing. I’ve suffered intense pain at the hands of a few men. That’s one reason I’m thankful for the gentler man God has given me.

“One bad apple spoils the whole bushel.”

What’s true in the fruit bowl doesn’t translate to relationships. Sometimes it’s hard to separate moments in time, the people involved, and the things that happened. I know I’ve gotten confused and lumped some people, places, and things together unconsciously.

A little knowledge is dangerous, and I’ve studied the human mind a little bit—enough to know that how we experience an event in time (especially with others) matters. When emotion floods a moment, it’s not uncommon for the mind to trap details in a way that changes future responses to similar events or people who appear similar. We can, consciously or unconsciously, generalize unkindness from a single person to a larger group: all men (or women) pay for the actions of one. Worse, all people whose skin looks a certain way or who align with a certain broadly-painted worldview face the phantoms of the past, stereotypes, or cultural caricatures portrayed in a hundred media outlets.

So, what do we do? Ultimately, we need to forget the stereotypes and caricatures, and put away the phantoms. But maybe we begin with baby steps.

I wondered what would happen if I tried to—

See, I mean really see, the person in front of me. Is this person the original source of my hurt? If not, I plan to let each individual stand or fall by his or her own choices and real actions. I don’t want others to pay for the actions of phantoms or the possible actions of cultural caricatures and old stereotypes I picked up in another time and place. I’ve been asking God to give me the insight to see which of the three views I’m holding in the moment. This is one area I’ve worked hard! I’m a work in progress, and it’s never easy, but I’ve begun to catch when generalization or transference is in play.

Be in the moment. I find it helpful to look around and ask Where am I right now? Who am I with? If this is a safe place with safe people, I want to embrace that and let down the guard and attitude I’ve maintained for too long. I can choose to be open, honest, receptive, even teachable in the moment. This step has grown in tandem with seeing, I think. When I consciously choose to see, it’s easier to be. The conversation and actions in the moment can be so important to the relationship. I’ll choose selfless authenticity in safety. The person in front of me might just do the same. Win-win!

Love. I’ll ask How can I love this person best in this moment? Loving those who are easy to love is low-hanging fruit in relationships. My challenge is stepping up to love the ones who are hard (and hard can look 100 different ways!). (Is that a challenge for you?) This is the uphill battle for me. The softer side of relationship (love) doesn’t come as naturally to me. Love is open and selfless and vulnerable a lot of the time. It’s not always received or returned. It’s not about return on investment. And love isn’t about all about me—or it’s not authentic love to begin with.

25 Just then an expert in the law stood up to test Him [Jesus], saying, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 “What is written in the law?” He asked him. “How do you read it?” 27 He answered: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself. 28 “You’ve answered correctly,” He told him. “Do this and you will live.” 29 But wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Luke 10 CSB

When we look at God’s love given to us, it’s wholly different than the way we like others or offer kindness hoping to get something out of it. Jesus’ love was an all-in, holding-nothing-back kind of love!

19 We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Do the right thing! This is where faith has legs. I ask What’s the next right thing? But better yet—will I decide to lean in rather than out, listening attentively to the person I see and to the Spirit? Rather than fill the void with my own internal or external voice, will I wait for words and be still? If I don’t get to speak, will I choose that kind of stillness? Will I invest my time, energy, or resources in the way He leads? Even if it’s costly to me? Painfully so?

There is a right kind of fear…

11 Come, children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Psalm 34:11

Catch that! Fear of the Lord, friend, is what we are hoping for—not fear of anyone or anything else. I want that to be real in my life, don’t you? Being quiet and listening is the start of that beautiful life trait. Listening isn’t related to a person’s looks or worldview. It’s a choice we make because someone is human and made in the image of God.

If you’ve hung in here, thanks for walking this slice of thought life with me. I wish I could hear the thoughts whirring in your mind right now! Do you struggle with this process in a “similar but different” way? I think we all do.

While I want to be fearless, I know parts of my character are being refined every day. This is just one area of my heart I desperately want to see grow and change into beautiful, peaceful strength. I’ve learned to lean into moments of mild awkwardness and discomfort with people different than me, and with practice, I’ve seen a lot of success. I respect some of the emotional boundaries (for now), giving myself grace for each day that reveals fear or crude relational skills. I understand I got to this place by experiences with people, and I know my Jesus loves all people and has a mind to help me love like He does. I won’t settle for where I am now. (What would happen if none of us settled?)

Think about this—Who are you afraid of? Where does the fear come from? If you didn’t settle, what would you do about it?

I hope you know how much the Facets team appreciate each of you. We hope you’ll bring your thoughts and ideas into the mix each week—that’s when the conversation gets rolling.

Signature, Jennifer Howe

Categories // Jennifer Howe's Perspective, Trusting God When Afraid Tags // 1 John 4:19, Facets of Faith, God's love, Jennifer J Howe, Loving others, Luke 10:25-29, overcoming fear, Psalm 34:11, Racism, Social anxiety

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