What Helps you Sing in April’s Showers?

04.04.2019 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to Facets of Faith! We invite you to linger and let God’s love and leading speak to your heart. This month we talk about, What Helps you Sing in April’s Showers? What would God have us do in the midst of a storm? Stay awhile and read what He put on my (Tracy’s) heart and check back over the coming weeks to see what Jennifer & Kim have to say on this topic.

Let’s be singers in the rain as we explore God’s heart for us.

I’m sitting in a coffee shop on a rainy day listening to a conversation I’m trying not to hear. Damp. Grey. Language as angry as the clouds outside threatening storms.

Have you ever been there?

You intend to do your thing, but as you sit, minding your own business, the words, vocabulary, circumstances connect to your story. No longer just white noise to create atmosphere, you can’t help but tune in. The words too close to your story. Maybe one you wouldn’t write, but we don’t always get to choose the words written and the way our life will go.

Some things we have control of. Others we do not. Mostly we do not.

The conversation consists of things you are curious to learn more about. You silently listen, absorb, and process from a safe distance. They are not close to you, even as you are connected as human beings. But they are not your people, so you can listen from life’s sidelines. Listen and learn. (And weep a little inside.)

Your heart breaks for them and their struggle even as it breaks for yourself and those you love, who are in the midst of a similar storm of struggle and emotion.

This person’s story connects to mine. Indirectly. But still. I hear when I want to write. I guess that’s God’s plan. To write about this. I’ve never visited this coffee shop. Felt led to come this way, rather than that, so I know God’s intention was for me to hear it. Even when sometimes I just want to stop up my ears, to not hear.

When it hurts, and we know it, don’t we all want to turn the channel and listen to something else? A little more up tempo please. Change the channel from the angry metal or the melancholy blues. Something more like, Don’t Worry Be Happy. (Sorry if you whistle the tune for the rest of the day.)

I can’t unhear. I can’t disconnect. I can process my emotions. I can seek to understand. I can always love. Always. Because that’s what Jesus would do, and I want to be like Him, to love as He does.

The hardest times for me to love others well is when loving them seats itself right next to my own woundedness. A nerve touched, still at the surface. Maybe it should be gone. But it’s not. Some things take time. In my opinion too much, but God says, “Take the time you need.” Because He is good like that. So good to give us the time we need.

Some things fade but may never disappear. Fully.

Do you have those things too? Those subterranean wounds you’d rather leave well enough alone. You’ve dealt with them, mostly.

Honestly, I’m not sure my inner struggle will ever disappear. It’s there. Like Paul’s thorn that wounds, but also serves as a reminder he needs God’s grace and strength to see him through. I need those too. Strength and grace. Because sometimes when you bump into the thorn it penetrates. It reminds you the wound is still there, in need of God’s strength and grace. His mercy. His love. Desperate for it. We all are, whether we know it or not.

Avoiding pain is something we all do at times. Me? Sometimes, it’s my defense. I am not deaf to pain or fear or the noise our broken nature makes inside each of us. It makes a ruckus sometimes, reminding us we are alive, reminding us we need Jesus. Every day.

I just don’t always want to stare it down. I can’t even always bring myself to pray about and through it. Sometimes, I grow weary in the rainy season. It can get muddy and messy (and ruin all my favorite shoes)! I need to remember to grab my galoshes and splash through life’s seasons.

What helps me sing in April’s showers?

What, indeed?

What helps me sing in April’s showers?

Sometimes, I need to remind myself. Life can be hard sometimes. There can be seasons that feel harsh and dry, like a desert. Parched. Cracked. Almost dead. I’ve experienced those where it felt like I was on the brink and God brought me back. To Him. To Life. To the possibility of love and hope and joy.

Jubilant! The stuff that cause you to sing in the rain. Splash in the puddles. Have joy in spite of circumstances.

Christ’s death on the cross helps us to do just that.

I really think we have a choice. We get to make a conscious choice to sing even during April’s showers.

One effective strategy to help us sing in April’s showers is to choose joy.

When thunderous clouds threaten to overtake our world, we can let them. Or we can choose otherwise. We can choose to lament, or we can choose joy. We can break open fresh gifts of grace that give us access to God’s joy.

Joy is a weapon that helps me sing.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la….

Joy sitting in the midst of a storm? We all can do it, in Christ’s power. In our own strength joy is sometimes downright impossible. Let’s face it. Life can be overwhelming.

We can choose to sit in the overwhelm or we can choose joy.

Joy is the best choice. It’s the choice that lets us live life instead of succumbing to what the enemy would want for us─languishing. The enemy would rather we lay like the person in need of healing for 38 years, when all we need to do is crawl to the healing pond of Christ’s love and joy.

Choosing joy takes energy. We have to move toward it.

You want to know what’s pretty amazing?

Even if we only have enough energy to lean a little toward it, God’s grace pulls us closer into His joy. Just lean, sweet ones. Lean in.

Another effective strategy to help us sing in April’s showers is to choose prayer in the middle of an anxious, angry storm.

It’s not about Don’t Worry Be Happy, it’s about be anxious about nothing and through prayer and petition let God’s peace consume us. God’s peace as a guard for our hearts and minds.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.─Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV

Let your requests be made known to God.

Even as I sit here (still listening) I seek God. I could let the circumstances of this scene overwhelm me with anxiety or I can pray. I can pray some more. And pray some more.

Any “normal” person would feel anxiety at an overwhelming circumstance that hits a little too close to home. I wonder, “Why am I here? What does God have for me in this? What does God have for the ones He has me in the midst of hearing right now?”

This isn’t just about me. It never is just about us. We’re included, for sure. But especially if we are His children, this is always about others as well. The light within us He wants to reach out to others, even if it makes us a little anxious.

I felt the anxiety as I got up to go to the bathroom. Quietly, in my head, “God, how do You want me to respond in this?”

In effect, what do you want me to do with this? There IS a reason I am here. Right now. Listening. Lamenting. Choosing joy. Trying to focus on the written word as I hash this out.

I can feel my adrenaline kick in. What to do? What to do?

Choosing love. But what does that look like in this situation?

I have NO IDEA!

Guess what? I pray some more to let my adrenaline slow so I can hear God. Anxiety clouds our thinking more than just about anything else. And we definitely need clear heads to make wise decisions, especially in an emotional storm.

Another effective strategy to help us sing in April’s showers is to choose courage in the middle of a tsunami.

I reflect on Pastor Scott’s sermon about adventure as a believer and whom Jesus dined with. He didn’t sit with all the prim and proper. He sat with those who needed Him most and were most receptive to Him and His love, because the depths of their need for Him was great.

Let’s face it. None of us is really all that prim and proper. We are works in progress each and every one of us. We all need His love. None of us has it fully together. Aren’t we all just figuring it out as we go?

I know I am!

So I mustered up the courage to approach their table, the wounded broken ones who were courageous enough to speak of these things aloud. (Tears now, because once you push through the anxiety and pray, relief floods.)

I walked up to these two who need Jesus’ love just like I do. I briefly shared how I connect with their story, handed my business card (the only thing I had handy), with handwritten scribbles “The Chapel, Grayslake”. An invitation to come and see.

Someone gave me that once, an invitation. And look at how my life has changed for the good. So grateful! So blessed! Even as my life isn’t perfect, I recognize it as good.

Sometimes we have to face down our own personal fear and anxiety so someone else can know God’s goodness. Today, I’m feeling brave. And my prayer is that someone else will grow to know God’s goodness because God drew me here.

As Pastor Scott reminded us in his sermon, we ARE God’s plan. I’m grateful for his reminder. It gave me the gumption to step into my own personal scary place, to push past my personal fear, and to invite them into God’s peace and love.

And now I can exhale.

THEY are why I came here. He sent me. He had me search my reservoir of emotions. He knew I would be sensitive to their story because it bumped up against mine. It was hard, a spiritual hurdle, because their brokenness brushes up against mine.

The enemy would want shame and fear, but Christ’s plan for us is courage and life. Every ounce of good we give to the world helps evil shrink. Darkness recedes because it cannot coexist with light and love.

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.─Philippians 1:20-21 NIV

I eagerly expect. Isn’t that great?

We can eagerly expect Christ to show up with courage and bring life to us and others. I was dying a bit inside with the angst of this situation, of what I was hearing. Of what their story was stirring up in mine. But God. But God gave me an eager expectation and hope that He has a plan. For me. For those precious two He sent me to hear, for them to feel seen and heard (literally), and receive an invitation and hug from God through my arms.

This was for me too. I know that full well. Another level of freedom. No shame. Only love. And waves of grace.

Maybe not fully free, but a little freer today for having faced down fear. Courage sufficient for this day to help me sing in the rain.

Another effective strategy to help us sing in April’s showers is to remember facing our storms with strength and joy reveal God’s glory.

This life is not our own. We are God’s children left here for a reason. People see and know God, in part, when they see and know God through us, through our story, through the way we receive them, through the way we love. We are so flawed and imperfect, yet God dwells within us as believers. He guides our steps. He uses us to impact others.

He shows Himself real, manifesting ever-so-powerfully when we walk through a storm well. Never alone. Like Peter when He calls us out of the boat, God helps us walk on water. We may freak out and start to sink, but all we need to do is look up and let Him lift us as He speaks to the storm and calms it.

When you find yourself holding your breath, as I often do when I feel stressed, breathe Christ in. Breathe deeply. Slowly. Let Him calm your nerves and guide your steps.

He tells us the way to go. And we are never alone in the going.

For all the gods of the nations are idols,

but the LORD made the heavens.

Splendor and majesty are before him;

strength and joy are in his dwelling place.

Ascribe to the LORD, all you families of nations,

ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.

─1 Chronicles 16:26-28 NIV

When we do the brave thing and take courage? God’s glory is revealed.

And in that a rainbow of promise, because color emerges bright and vibrant after a grey storm recedes.

How is God speaking to you in this? What song does He wish for you to sing?

Sing to the LORD a new song;

sing to the LORD, all the earth.

Sing to the LORD, praise his name;

proclaim his salvation day after day.

Declare his glory among the nations,

his marvelous deeds among the peoples.

─Psalm 96:1-3 NIV

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How Is God Helping You to Bloom in Your Marriage?

06.06.2017 by Tracy Stella //

This month at Facets of Faith we touch upon an area near and dear to my heart─marriage. I (Tracy) know that word hits us all a bit differently. Some may wince from pain etched deep, too many hurts and not enough fingers to keep track of the sorrow from two broken people who don’t quite know how to love one another well.

Sadly, that’s the story of my first marriage. It halted. Like a sun-scorched river, love dried up. I dried up. Eyes of grace (now) see he did too.

No one sets sail for divorce. Sometimes a shipwreck occurs, and divorce’s devastation takes place. Crashed and battered against rock hard as granite, hearts closed off to hope, sinking in despair faster than an anchor tossed overboard. I’ve been there. Without Christ, there’s little hope for a marriage in jeopardy. I didn’t know that then. I appreciate it now. I hold tight to my Anchor, the One that is the Anchor for my soul. (Hebrews 6:19)

My God didn’t leave me shipwrecked, cast upon the shore like a fractured shell worth little value because of her imperfections. The rough edges, He’d soften. Over time. Like grains of sand, sometimes it felt abrasive, because smoothing out the rough edges often is painful. But with God there is purpose in the pain. God’s healing hands hold us close and restore us, making us new.

The fractured places where His hand fuses us back together become stronger, even as they have the potential to make us more beautiful.

Scars healed help us see our Savior as Healer, Lover of our soul (for He is).

Scars healed help us see others through eyes softer. Less judgment, more compassion.

Scars healed help us see ourselves differently, flawed yet somehow more real and relatable, because we’re not the only ones tired of pretending. Many crave authenticity.

My life is good, but it is not perfect. There is not always a cherry on top. I’m grateful it doesn’t always have to be cherry on top perfection to feel real and good.

I used to think that cherry had to be placed just so and, if not, my world might crumble. The problem with that “theology” is it often does.

I got divorced, and I almost nearly died. I thought I’d shrivel and not ever see past the hurt and pain of that loss, even as I pretended I didn’t need to grieve. Grieve? Why? I’m okay, my common refrain back then. Only I wasn’t. I melted faster than ice cream on a warm July day. I contemplated taking my life, because I didn’t see hope for a new one. I’m so grateful God reached in and gave me a reason to live. Him!

Christ Jesus sets a heart held captive free, and brings more and more freedom each day as we walk with Him. Little by little, or sometimes big by big, He makes us new.

As God does that in my life through the heart and hands of my second husband, Sam, He shows me I don’t have to be perfect to be loved. I’m grateful for that gift. God uses Sam to help me be vulnerable and most myself (other than the times spent with Christ).

There’s something very powerful being loved for who you really are, kind and loving sometimes, but not always. Brave and courageous or weak and trembling, either way whichever wife he has that day, Sam has loved me well. He’s not perfect, nor am I. But somehow God uses two broken people to strengthen one another, to hear each other’s hearts holding them gently. Hearts are tender and can easily be broken. I appreciate Sam’s soft touch to the softer parts of me that feel emotionally naked as I seek his council when I need a wise second opinion.

I think of where we started. Me, too afraid to even utter the word marriage. The “M” word all I could muster. Now, I think of marriage and I smile, grateful to God for the gift He gave me in Sam. If you know him, you know how sweet and kind he is. Had I been stubborn or too afraid to step out, I would have missed a gift from God.

He seeks to understand me, Sam does. He said he studies me. I’m glad for that, because he sometimes helps me gently see things in me or about me that I don’t have enough perspective on. I know me too well. I’m too familiar with me. I need a trusted outside perspective. How do you see this situation, Sam? What insight do you have? Trust. Something I didn’t think I’d ever do again.

If that’s where you are sitting, I want you to know it IS possible to trust again. I started by learning to trust Jesus. He showed me how to begin to trust others. He showed me how to trust myself again. Slowly.

“Our bravest moments come from trusting, from falling into the plans of God. When we do, bravery becomes less about courage and more about faith.”₁

If you are in a marriage that’s being tossed against the rocks, don’t give up. Divorce is NOT the easy option. As grateful as I am for God’s second chances, it would be very remiss of me to not give this council. I wish someone would have said it to me. Seek God and let Him be the Savior of your marriage. Nothing and no one is beyond His healing hand. Pray for yourself. Pray for your husband. And pray for unity in your marriage. Saving your marriage won’t be easy, but it is possible.

It all starts with the Love of Jesus, for without that, life is futile and full of the illusion of love. Only the Author of Love can properly lead us down love’s river without leading us astray. Jesus helps us avoid unnecessary white waters that would like to pull us under.

Fortunately, God rescued me. And He rescues me time and time again. Often, through the hands of a husband who learned how to love me well, because He allowed God to show him how. Sam would admit to you he didn’t know how to love. At 40 years of age, he’d never been married. What I love about my husband’s heart is he asked God to show him how to love me well. Lucky for me, God answers a prayer like that!

I often have referred to Sam as my Boaz, I his Ruth. I met him when I was incredibly vulnerable. Many men would have taken advantage of that. Some did. Not so Sam. He showed me something different. A man of character who treated me like a woman should be treated, with dignity and respect. I remember being nervous, not knowing how to act in this foreign field of Christian relationship. How does this work anyhow?

God showed us how.

Through my marriage God has brought me from being a wildflower to a lillie, growing more and more pure each passing year. Mind you, there’s much more purity to be had by yours truly. But God has brought Sam and I quite a distance from where we first started.

My Boaz who didn’t take advantage when so many others had, helped me to regain my self-esteem. Through Sam’s love, I saw the Father’s Love. Still do. The idea of intimacy restored, restored back to God’s intention. Holy. Beautiful. Possible even when it doesn’t make sense based on a person’s track record.

Sam and I recently celebrated our six year wedding anniversary. I can’t quite believe it. Feels just like yesterday. No, it’s not 25 or 30, but it’s something significant from a gal who wasn’t willing to consider walking down the aisle again.

Perhaps even more astounding is what God has done in a relatively short amount of time. He has helped me to bloom because of Sam. I would not be the woman I am (and the woman I am becoming) without him.

A man, in fact, should not cover his head because he is God’s image and glory, but woman is man’s glory.─1 Corinthians 11:7 HCSB

As my husband, Sam partakes in any good God brings forth. I am a reflection of him and his love for me. I’ve experienced God’s love through Sam, and because of that expression of love, God’s glory is revealed. Love is always a reflection of Christ. Not the stuff of Hollywood, but the stuff of life, real life, the hard stuff as well as the good stuff. The stuff of tears when I need comfort and I find a safe shoulder to rest my head upon. The safe harbor helps me to bloom.

I hold my head higher, because I’ve experienced honorable love. Dignity restored, because that was the Father’s design all along.

The best anniversary gift I’ve received so far was fruit of Sam’s love standing right by my side at church: three young women rescued from sex trafficking whom I now get to help. Had my husband not loved me well, I wouldn’t have bloomed. Unimaginably, God wouldn’t be able to use me to help three other tender hearts learn how to receive love, and sometime in each of their futures, to love others well. To trust again. Someday. That is my prayer for each precious one.

I can talk with them about how hard it is to trust. I get it. It’s hard; it can feel impossible. I can also talk with these precious women about hope of love, intimacy, and restoration beyond their wildest dreams. Three beautiful buds waiting to bloom, but starting to open up, stood to my left, my husband to my right. Me sandwiched between trying hard to hold back tears on Mother’s Day as I thought, Lord, how on earth did I get here? Thank you! Not in a million years would I have guessed this one!

Later, in the car, I got to tell my husband how much I appreciate him. God put it on my heart to give him an anniversary present of honor. You see, Sam is not only my Boaz, he is also a man of mighty valor. He’s brave. After all, he took on me (and oh did that take courage back in the day!).

None of the ministry God has given me would have been possible without you, Sam. None of it. Because you loved me so well, I am now able to love others well. Thank you! Because of our story, I can give them hope that they will have genuine intimacy, the love we’re all after. Every woman helped, you have helped. This is your ministry too!

And it is.

Epilogue: Thank you for helping me to bloom, Sam! One day you will receive many rewards for the things you’ve done in secret to honor and love me well. Until then, I pray you receive rich rewards here on earth as well. I know when you get to heaven one day (hopefully far, far into our future) Jesus is going to hold you in His arms and tell you “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You did good. Very, very good, My son. I am proud of you. You were a good steward of your wife and an excellent model for other men to follow. Well done, My son. Well done.”

If you are married, how can you allow your husband to help you bloom? How can you honor him?

If you’ve never read the book of Ruth in the Bible, I encourage you to do so. It’s a beautiful love story that points to Christ’s love for us, His bride.

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₁Lyons, Rebekah. You are Free. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017.

When All I Have to Offer is Broken

12.20.2016 by Kim Findlay //

This month at Facets of Faith we’re answering the question, “what do I have to offer?”. Tracy and Jen have shared their heart-felt responses, ones you don’t want to miss. Take a moment and jump over to their pages to see how they responded.

I (Kim) was terrified. The divorce was final and I had started the slow rebuild of all that was damaged. I felt unsure, unsteady, and unworthy. But there I sat at the computer, rereading the email for the eighth time.

We’d love to have you back to share the story of the death of your daughter and how you trusted God.

It took a few moments for the invitation to sink in. I spoke at this church a few years prior and shared my story of trusting God after the death of a child. I offered practical tips on how I learned to trust Him. But that was before the divorce.

I started to feel like a fraud as I read. What did I have to offer? My marriage fell apart and I almost did, too. I still cried. A lot. I questioned and wondered and struggled. I talked with God about my pain and loss all the time but didn’t seem to have many answers. I felt broken, damaged, and unusable.

All I wanted to do was to offer God my best. But during that season of my life, my best didn’t feel all that great. I looked around and saw other people doing great things for Him: impacting countries, writing transformational books, and making real differences in peoples’ lives.

And then there was me.

Broken. Grief-filled. Wrestling and struggling with life. Not all the time, of course. But it seemed every time I took a step or two forward, I got knocked back three or four.

I sat in front of my computer, hoping the answer would jump out from between the lines. I wanted to be honest — with Him and myself. Yes, I wanted to offer my best, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized what I really wanted to offer was perfection.

I wanted to show God the pristine pictures and put-together poses. I didn’t want to show the frustrations and painful places that still plagued me. I didn’t want him or anyone else to see all those broken pieces I kept trying to sweep up and hide.

Perhaps you can relate?

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b, NLT

My heart was broken, but it was still beating, even begun to heal. During those dark days I started to hear a quiet voice whisper soothing sounds to my soul. I experienced God in ways I’d only tasted before.

I love you.

But if you only knew . . .

I do know, and I love you. Nothing will ever change that or take you away from me.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39, NLT

But what about the time I . . .

Not even that.

But I ‘m scared. What will people say?

It’s okay. I’m with you. I will never leave you.

I have nothing to offer you, nothing good. My life is full of broken pieces.

That’s enough. Trust me with them. Watch what I can create.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20

Broken pieces. A shattered heart and failed marriage. A life filled with sorrow and years of disappointment. Oh, and tears — gallons of tears cried in the shadows. To the world, my life looked like a mess, but to God? Well, to Him, there was value. There is value.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8, NLT

Like a child offering a precious gift to a loving parent, I held out all my broken pieces and offered them all to Him. I named each piece and placed them at His feet. When I was done, I felt empty, yet somehow at peace. I trusted He would remind me of His love and grace on days I tried to take my offering back and on the days I felt strong.

I chose to trust He will do what He said and create something beautiful out of the ugly mess. So I hit reply to the email and said yes. After all, I had much to offer.

And so do you.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3, NLT

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