Freedom on the Road to Calling

07.10.2020 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome friends! We’re so glad you’re here! This month we’re talking about freedom and calling, two things Jesus is very concerned about for us and others. We hope you’ll check in each week to see what He’s placed on our hearts. We trust this message is His message, and He has freedom planned and purposed for each of us as we engage with Him. For those of us walking free, we pray a deeper level of freedom. For those of us still captive, we pray He sets us free through our calling.

Christ has paid the price of our admission to enter through freedom’s gates. Let’s walk through every gate He opens.

What is a calling? According to Merriam Webster, it is a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence.1

As God’s children guided by divine influence, we have a high calling on our lives. Each of us is placed where we are with whom we are for a reason. Our location and vocation are not accidental; they are providentional. If God establishes our steps (and He does), each paver we walk upon is there for purpose. Sometimes, the steps He has us take lead to freedom for ourselves. Other times, those steps are intended to liberate someone else. Captives are set free along the way in God’s efficient nature─a bit of me, you, we all at once.

Recently, I had a client unexpectedly pass away. It was like a spiritual slap in the face, a wake-up call. The volume of my tears was large, and I was in absolute shock. As I processed my feelings, I thought to myself, “I need to pray with more intention.” I always pray for my clients, but this kind man’s passing made me realize I need to pray more and more specifically for them in light of eternity. Maybe the person we encounter and pray for never comes to know Jesus. But maybe they do. What if God brought them to me for that specific purpose? What if He’s put someone in your path for that divine reason too? I don’t want to miss that high calling.

Faith is a personal choice. As believers we need to respect where others are on their faith journey. Force feeding someone Jesus is likely to have the reverse effect. Like a baby being coerced to eat smashed squash, they could spit Christ out because we didn’t let them taste and see His goodness for themselves. But that doesn’t mean we can’t pray for those God has placed in our path, nor does it mean we can’t try to walk out our own lives in such a way as to create curiosity in others. Side note: Jesus gave us free will because He wants us to choose Him. Let’s stay out of God’s way and give others the choice to choose Him. Pray and stay out of God’s way. He’ll let us know if and when we need to take action.

I meet a lot of people doing what I do. I’m a REALTOR®. To say buying and selling a home is an emotional process is a bit of an understatement. The stakes are high and even if the person’s home sale or purchase is for a happy reason, it can be a bit of a roller coaster ride. Often my job is helping level out the peaks and valleys. I love getting to celebrate with clients as I’m let into a very treasured life event. It’s sweet and special much of the time. Tears of joy, laughter, and happy dancing, they’re all part of the calling. (Who said calling had to be all work and no play?)

What I’d never given thought to before becoming a REALTOR® is the amount of ministry opportunities within this career path God has placed me on. Honestly, until something impacts us (or at least me) we can be oblivious. As I got into things, I realized people die and their estate needs to handle the selling of their loved one’s home. Hard! So hard! Those folks need a compassionate person to sit with them in their grief. They likely need someone to help them make decisions, because they’ve already had to make some pretty difficult ones that weigh heavy on the heart. They need someone who can help them navigate dark waters, with many people often involved who are all dealing with the loss of their loved one in different ways. Sometimes, we just have conversation human to human. We can leave the home sale talk for later if need be. Maybe what’s called for in that moment is a shoulder to cry on or ears that can hear their favorite memory of their loved one. It’s a sacred space.

What sacred space is God calling you to enter?

God gives me women who have had to navigate divorce and need help finding a home. I’ve made a personal choice I will not proactively market to women or men getting a divorce, because it feels contradictory to the calling God has placed on my life to help married couples work on their marriage and stay together. But before I was a believer I did get divorced, and so I can certainly understand many of the emotions my clients experience. It’s another very hard season that needs to be grieved, even if we don’t realize it. I try to point them to hope. Hope helps! I remember one time I was talking with a client in a vacant home for so long Sam got worried for my safety and came to check on me. I was okay, but the one God had placed before me wasn’t. She needed to be heard and God wanted me to listen. When He uses bits from our bio, His desire is for us to connect. Those “me too” moments can make all the difference in the world to someone going through something God already helped us through.

What “me too” moment is God calling you to share with someone in need of hope?

There are joyous occasions, newlyweds in need of a home, excited about what the future holds. It’s so much fun to help them dream and envision building their life together. Sometimes, they need advice, occasionally it’s about real estate. (Wink, Wink) Helping people buy homes, in particular, creates a close connection. You get the opportunity to know someone exceptionally well through the process. Along the way in the course of natural conversation, people tell you things, personal things. I have had the best time getting to know people’s stories. Isn’t that something Jesus would want us to do? Whatever you do for a living, maybe God is leading you to ask someone to share their story (even if that feels far outside your comfort zone). You learn some pretty amazing things about people. Entering others’ story changes ours jobs from a career to a calling.

How is God nudging you to shift your mindset from career to calling?

God once placed it on my heart to do something kind for a person who had been a bit difficult. Okay. A lot difficult. I’m glad I listened to that still, small voice. He knew what that person had been through in life. I had no idea. Clueless with a capital C. So, I did this thing God asked me to and it caught the person off guard. Unexpected kindness created an opportunity for another human being to feel safe enough to open up. A lot. Hearing that person’s story softened my heart faster than melting ice cream on a 90 degree day. I’d say, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” But perhaps we should in that if there is difficulty dealing with so and so, there must be a reason. If the outside reads hard, the inside is probably hurt. Life’s tribulations can lead to prickly people, because they’re just about protecting themselves at this point. That’s what God showed me. This person was in deep pain. From that point on, I had a completely different thought process about this person. They hadn’t changed, but I had.

Who is God calling you to see from a different perspective? What act of kindness can you engage in on their behalf?

If you like to be in control of things, don’t become a REALTOR®. This job has sanctified me about 1000 times over! I have control over my actions (on a good day), but I have no control over anyone else’s. If you play poker but only have half the hand and have no idea what the other player’s cards are, that’s real estate. I know things to look out for. I know what SHOULD happen. But I only get to see my client’s piece of the transaction. I try to have order and process for the things within my control, but there are a lot of players in this real estate game: buyer, seller, 2 agents, 2 attorneys, home inspector, appraiser, sometimes extra family members, and occassionally interfering neighbors. (Oh, the stories I could tell.) All those other people and their actions, I can’t control one little bit.

God has brought me (and continues to bring me) freedom in this job. Freedom from letting my emotions boss me around. Most of the time I do a pretty good job of that now. Occasionally, I need God’s grace to rush back in and point me back on the path of freedom. This job has helped me to trust God on a whole new level. We do what we can and give the rest to God. The things that I know to do, I do them. The things I can’t “make happen” make me pray even more fervently. Sometimes, I get inspiration and direction on how to proceed. Sometimes, I’m called to sit a spell and let God do what only He can do. It is a gift (and a relief) to know and believe in my heart that God’s the One in charge of the outcome.

What’s something within your control God is asking you to take action on? What is at least one area of your calling God is asking you to relinquish control of and trust Him with the outcome?

Just this week I had a moment where I let fear creep into my calling. It wasn’t good. I was concerned that this or that wouldn’t happen. And then if that didn’t happen, then this, and this, and this might happen. My momentary setback was a good reminder that as much as I want to be like Jesus, sometimes I’m like the leper and need some healing along the way myself.

How does God desire to bring healing to you through your calling?

Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.” (Emphasis added)

Luke 17:11-19 NIV

My prayer is that more times than not you and I will look a little more like Jesus. As we travel along the way walking out the calling God has on our lives that we will never be too busy to pause and “take pity” on someone. We don’t want someone to have to stand from afar off shouting for attention. Like Jesus, He’d want us to be attentive to the ones He places before us.

What if others are “cleansed” because they encountered the love of Jesus through us? Maybe that means salvation. Maybe that means healing (or the beginning of that journey for them). Shouldn’t we stop? Jesus was busy, but not too busy to stop for lepers like you and me.

What will we do if we help a lot of people and we don’t always feel appreciated? Remember, the scripture above. Ten were cleansed, but only one came back to thank Jesus. I’ll speak for myself in this, but I wonder how many times Jesus has done things for me that I never bothered to say “thank you” for. I thank Him, but do I thank Him for everything? No.

So another person’s gratitude can’t be our motivator if we are Christ’s children. We need to stop because Jesus stops. He stopped for each of us (and He still stops for us when we need to catch up to Him).

What if in that process we are like the leper ourselves? As we go about our calling and connecting with people along the way, what if He leads us to someone intended to help bring healing to us? Wouldn’t we hope someone would stop?

As we are going, let’s not forget our high calling to STOP for others.

———————-

Consider spending time with God processing the questions in this piece. Grab a notebook, pray, write the question, and journal a response. I pray God will reveal His heart for you and others during that set aside time.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page. (INSERT LINK)

1 “Calling.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/calling.

Who Needs the Royal Treatment?

05.05.2020 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith dear one! I pray you are well and that you are prepared to hear what God has placed on each one of our hearts as we discuss the need for the royal treatment. I’m excited to see how God uses our words to shape us into the women we are destined to become. I felt led to write about beauty treatments this month. In a time when I’m longing to see my stylist (roots anyone?), some are wishing they could have their nails done, and women want their beauty supplies, it’s kind of funny that God placed this message on my heart well in advance of needing my moisturizer but not being able to purchase any! Small problems in the big scheme of things, I know. I’m merely making an observation that will make sense as you read.

Have you ever desired the royal treatment ─ to be pampered and well taken care of? Does an afternoon at the spa sound invigorating? Perhaps a day when someone else takes care of all the household or workplace responsibilities feels in order. Who is going to take care of you (and me), after all? Have you ever wondered, “Why am I called to be the responsible one?” Have you ever felt that way? “What about me? What about me? What about me? Who is going to take care of me?”

What if there is more to the royal treatment than self-indulgence? What if there is great purpose when we appropriately use every royal treatment we are given? What if the royal treatment is about far more than how it benefits us?

Daughter of the King, how is God calling you to use the royal treatment He has given you to extend it to someone else?

One of my very favorite books in the bible is Esther. Before we get too far down the path, let’s remind ourselves Esther was a woman much like you and me. She’s not a fictional character; she was a woman with great godly character.

She wasn’t born a superhero, but she arose as one. (More about that later.)

Esther had fears and concerns much like you and me when we feel called into situations bigger than us. Daunting circumstances open doors of doubt. Stepping forward boldly in spite of fear demonstrates great courage. But how did she get there?

King Xerxes expelled his former queen. She would not honor his request to come to him and his subjects. He was drunk on wine (7 days drunk), and so were his advisors. King Xerxes’ pride and counsel from his inner circle abolished Queen Vashti from her position.

The king’s advisors were more concerned about how Queen Vashti’s perceived disrespect would impact the treatment they received from their wives. The advisors weren’t thinking of the king’s best interest. They were thinking of their own. A good side note: be careful whose counsel you listen to.

It was no secret throughout the kingdom what had happened to Queen Vashti. Unless you were living under a regal rock, you would have known she was removed from her royal position.

Think about any pop star fall from fame; that’s what we’re looking at. If People magazine were a thing back then, Queen Vashti’s face would have been plastered all over the cover. The headline may have read:

Disobedient Queen Dumped

Nothing secret about this demotion. Not. One. Thing. If you were in the kingdom, you knew about it.

Enter the young girl Esther.

The king grew lonely and his personal attendants advised him to gather all the virgins throughout all the provinces, place them under the care of the king’s eunuch Hegai, and give them royal beauty treatments.

Then the king’s personal attendants proposed, “Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king. …Let them be placed under the care of Hegai, the king’s eunuch, who is in charge of the women; and let beauty treatments be given to them. Then let the young woman who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti.” This advice appealed to the king, and he followed it.─Esther 2:3-4 NIV

Of course, it pleased the king, am I right ladies? As a woman in the modern era, this can be a bit maddening to read, especially if you are unfamiliar with the entirety of Esther’s story. But hang in there with me. It gets better. I promise!

Esther was rounded up with all the other beautiful women throughout the kingdom. She didn’t choose this fate, yet somehow, she found herself in a beauty contest to win the king’s attention. If she didn’t, she’d be a woman in a sea of the king’s harem.

I imagine Esther had dreams of her own that probably never involved the king. But if given the choice between holding a position of honor over that of just another face in the harem, wouldn’t it be better to be in a position to help shape the culture of the kingdom?

We women have great influence after all. Wasn’t that what the advisors were so concerned about with the former Queen Vashti?

When we have position in life, there is opportunity for influence. How we use it matters.

Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. ─ Esther 2:12 NIV

Esther didn’t have a choice in the matter. She had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments.

But what if those beauty treatments weren’t really about beauty treatments at all?

Think about how isolated and alone Esther must have felt over the course of those twelve months. You can be in a sea of people yet feel completely alone. She was outside of her comfortable home setting. She had lost her daily routine and her family advisors speaking into her life. She was in this dreadful competition. Imagine the jealousies and insecurities on display with the royal crown at stake. I envision some pretty bad behavior by some. Esther’s time isn’t so different than ours. Competition can create cruelty. (This is me imagining at least a little of what harem life might have been like.)

Let’s vow not to act in a spirit of competition with our sisters in Christ. It’s one way we can let our light shine brilliantly. When we are cheerleaders in the kingdom for one another, we all rise a little higher. Let’s celebrate our sisters!

But you can bet that probably wasn’t the world Esther was living in, with the crown and all that came with it up for grabs.

What if the isolation Esther faced was more about preparation?

There have been plenty of times when God has pulled me away from the hustle and bustle of life. It can feel lonely and quiet, but I have learned over time to recognize those instances as His time for divine preparation, to equip me, for what He has next.

Even now in our quarantine, I am reminded of this for myself and for you. What is God preparing you for?

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

Even Jesus did this when He separated Himself from the disciples to pray and seek the Father’s will. (But I digress.)

When the king’s order and edict had been proclaimed, many young women were brought to the citadel of Susa and put under the care of Hegai. Esther also was taken to the king’s palace and entrusted to Hegai, who had charge of the harem. She pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food. He assigned to her seven female attendants selected from the king’s palace and moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem. ─ Esther 2:8-9 NIV

Yes, Esther was away from her family, but already she was walking in the favor of the Lord. She was assigned to the best place in the harem. She may not have been able to choose her fate, but she was experiencing God’s blessings in the midst of a difficult circumstance.

Again, I think of our current quarantine. It can feel hard, like a fate we’d rather not choose. None of us would have volunteered for these circumstances, yet here we find ourselves.

What has been beautiful to watch is how many have made the best of a difficult situation. You can see God’s favor in their lives, favor in the form of joy, hope, and gratitude. Personally, I have seen God’s provision and peace and He’s even brought laughter and joy. There was a moment of despair on my part, but then I heard God’s sweet, reassuring voice, and I somehow knew everything was going to be okay.

Lock down isn’t perfect, but it’s perfecting us.

I wonder what God whispered to Esther’s heart as she was quarantined for 12 months of beauty preparation.

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

Sometimes these times of separation show us how we’ve ALREADY been prepared. God’s in the business of preparing us, even when we don’t think we’re being prepared. (Can I get an amen?)

Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. This young woman, who was also known as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died. ─ Esther 2:7 NIV

Esther’s loss of her parents created in her someone different than she would have been had they still been alive. That kind of loss shapes someone. Yet, she had an amazing family member step into her life in a sacrificial, loving fashion. You can see that dynamic play out through the book of Esther. You realize how much Esther respects Mordecai when we see her act on his counsel (and thank goodness she did). As we see Mordecai’s actions and character play out, we understand why. (Read the book of Esther. You’ll see what I mean.)

So, while Esther’s circumstances were not ideal, the trials she faced helped her to stare down twelve months of royal beauty treatments in a contest to win the king’s choice award.

If you are anything like me, times of adversity have forged your character. Difficult times deliver us into our destiny if we allow the Lord to use them to do so.

I read something pretty amazing the other day about trauma.

We have come to recognize that our past can either define us or refine us. Those who are refined by their trauma, who truly end up being better off, are experiencing what scientific literature calls posttraumatic growth. Everyone’s heard of posttraumatic stress disorder, but posttraumatic growth is when people actually use their hardship as a springboard and a catalyst to improve their lives.1

Fascinating! Posttraumatic growth. Pause on that thought for a good, long while.

Posttraumatic growth is possible if we choose it. Do you want to know in what context the above quote came from? Assisting sex trafficking survivors! Those engaged with helping survivors with their healing have studied what most helps these women and men succeed after incredible trauma. The answer is simple and hard all at the same time.

Posttraumatic growth occurred because of each ones’ conscious choice to survive and thrive.

We can let our past define or refine us. We choose.

Esther could have played the victim. People would have understood. But that’s not what she chose to do. In grief’s separation, loneliness, and isolation, she allowed grief to prepare her for her divine purpose. She didn’t have to have awareness of that truth for it to BE true.

That’s a good word for us all!

Whatever life’s tragedies and triumphs, they are all preparation for our kingdom purpose. We don’t have to be aware of our preparation for it to do its work. Hindsight often shows us where that has taken place without us ever having a hint it was happening.

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

I imagine Esther wasn’t as demanding as other women in the king’s collection. She wasn’t high maintenance, expecting everyone to cater to her. No. I think her humility won her favor with Hegai, the king’s eunuch. And because she had favor with Hegai, she ultimately gained favor with the king himself.

(Esther) pleased (Hegai) and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food…. He moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem. ─ Esther 2:9 NIV (clarification added)

Esther, just being Esther, won favor. Humility and kindness make a woman more beautiful.

I do imagine Esther being kind, not acting in any kind of entitled way. We later see that.

When the turn came for Esther (the young woman Mordecai had adopted, the daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king’s eunuch who was in charge of the harem, suggested. And Esther won favor of everyone who saw her. ─ Esther 2:15 NIV

Esther didn’t have to fight for what she needed. She wisely listened to Hegai for his insight into what was best. Because she did, she walked in everyone’s favor. She WON favor of everyone who saw her. Wisdom and humility open doors we cannot. Such a great lesson for us all.

Who wouldn’t want to win favor versus having to fight for it at every turn? We can learn a lot from our sister Esther!

Esther had not revealed her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had forbidden her to do so. Every day he walked back and forth near the courtyard of the harem to find out how Esther was and what was happening to her. ─ Esther 2:10-11 NIV

What’s obvious here is Mordecai’s great concern and care for his cousin Esther. While she was separated and alone, he forbid Esther to talk about her heritage. Mordecai showed great regard for Esther’s well-being. He knew her status as a Jew could cause difficulty in her circumstances.

But do you want to know what’s even more awesome about this withholding of information?

The Lord was preparing a way to safety for Esther and every Jew throughout the kingdom. They didn’t know it yet, but the Lord was well aware that during Esther’s time of separation and isolation there was preparation …. So that an entire group of people could walk free in spite of the king’s decree to kill every Jew in every citadel.

How many times has the Lord prepared you for a future season you didn’t see coming? It’s only in reflecting back that we are able to make sense of it and see God’s hand at work in our life all along. Those are faith bolstering moments!

But Esther had kept secret her family background and nationality just as Mordecai had told her to do, for she continued to follow Mordecai’s instructions as she had done when he was bringing her up. ─ Esther 2:20 NIV

Esther had been prepared her whole life for her calling. She’d been given wise instruction from Mordecai as he raised her, and he continued to have great influence. He could speak into her life in a way that made impact on her actions and for a nation.

When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” ─ Esther 4:12-14 NIV

That’s speaking the truth in love right there! Being on the receiving end of both truth and love is absolutely part of our preparation.

You see, there was an edict (a law) that was issued by the king to kill and annihilate all the Jews. Esther was fearful to approach the king. Doing so without his calling her to him could have meant her death. Understandably, she was afraid. But Mordecai did not coddle her. He gave her a challenge instead.

And she accepted it.

Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” ─ Esther 4:15-16 NIV

She prepared through fasting and prayer, and asked others to join her in doing so.

She put together a plan to approach the king.

She was strategic.

She was patient and deliberate.

You can see a woman using great restraint as she carried out her divine purpose.

And because she did, the Jews were saved.

On this day the enemies of the Jews had hoped to overpower them, but now the tables were turned and the Jews got the upper hand over those who hated them. ─ Esther 9:1b NIV

While it had looked like defeat for the Jews was surely at hand, one woman’s courage changed many people’s fate. Esther was made for this moment! Her preparation saved a nation.

Not only that, her cousin Mordecai was promoted to a position of great influence as well.

Mordecai was prominent in the palace; his reputation spread throughout the provinces, and he became more and more powerful. ─ Esther 9:4 NIV

Because Esther allowed her times of separation and isolation to prepare her, it paved the way for those who’d previously helped her to receive promotion. Mordecai’s wisdom in Esther’s life was expanded to shape that of a nation.

Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Xerxes, preeminent among the Jews, and held in high esteem by his many fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke for the welfare of all the Jews. ─ Esther 10:3 NIV

Because a man like Mordecai raised Esther it paved the way for her to see him interact with others as he worked for their good. He prepared her by the way he raised her to work for the good of her people.

Leadership can sometimes feel lonely and a little separated, but Esther was prepared for it. It was her destiny.

Ultimately, she walked in FULL AUTHORITY as God’s daughter, destined to do great things. (Esther 10:29)

It’s your destiny too, friend.

What is God calling you to? Receive His “royal beauty treatments” in times of isolation and separation. It’s part of your preparation for you and all those whom you love.

It’s your destiny.

Remember, times of separation and isolation are for our preparation if we choose to let them.

Let them!

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ─ Ephesians 2:10 NIV (emphasis added)

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” ─ Esther 4:14b

…hardships are what cause us to learn what’s really in us. If we quit, we miss the chance to discover what we’re capable of.1

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1 Cooley, Ben. Relentless Pursuit, Fuel Your Passion and Fulfill Your Mission. David C Cook, 2019.

What Root Are You Tripping Over?

06.04.2019 by Tracy Stella //

The FACETS of Faith team is excited to share what God placed on our hearts for this month’s topic. Why? Because we believe God’s kids are going to get some freedom! That’s our prayer: freedom and fullness of life for all who read and engage with what God inspired us to write. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule. Snuggle up. Settle in. And let’s see what He has to say to us all. He’s given Kim, Jen, and our guest writer a voice in this as well. Can’t wait to see what God has to say through them too!

Life is full of moments, some of them defining. Choosing to forgive is one of them. I know forgiveness is complicated and getting to that place isn’t always easy. Forgiveness has its roots in love. Our lives are better for it. When we invest ourselves in the conscious choice to choose love, we win.

We can’t choose love if we don’t know who He is. Love is sacrificial like Jesus.

“If you have experienced the power of love and forgiveness in your life, you’ll probably give away a lot of both. …. We can reflect the angst we felt or the grace we’ve received.”1

At this point in my life, I’ve experienced God’s love in profound and deep ways. That wasn’t always the case. I didn’t always know His love for me. It was always there waiting. It just took me awhile to be ready to receive it. I pray you have encountered this love, a well so deep, a knowing so intimate and personal, and safe. Jesus, He’s safe. (I feel like someone needs to know that right here, right now.) If that’s you, you need to know Jesus is SAFE. I get that. And He is!

I’ve experienced deep violations in my life. Maybe you have too. The ones they write trauma recovery books about. If that’s you, I pray you open your heart to the safety who is Jesus. Let Him into your life. I promise, sweet one, He is safe, true, loving and kind. In fact, I just read this today. Perhaps, it’s for you.

The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.─Psalm 145:9

Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous─how well I know it.─Psalm 139:14

God made you. He thinks you’re marvelous! And He has compassion for you. He’s not looking at your situation through blind eyes. He knows you. He knows what hurts you. He knows what He has for you, and it’s so much greater than unforgiveness. He knows it will be hard, but He’s not asking you to do anything He wasn’t willing to do Himself.

Jesus forgave many who betrayed Him, belittled Him, and took advantage of Him when all He wanted to do was make this world and the people in it better, good.

Yes, He’s God. But He was also fully man. I’m grateful for that truth, because it helps me to know He understands. He understands, sweet one!

Forgiveness Frees Us from Tripping Over Pride’s Root

Unforgiveness has its roots in pride. How’s that, you ask?

If I choose not to forgive, it’s as if I’m saying my problem is bigger than my God. It’s as if I’m saying my thoughts are higher than His thoughts. It’s as if I’m saying I know more about what’s good for me than God does. The problem, the violation wasn’t good, but where God desires to bring us is good.

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.─Psalm 18:19 NIV

Forgiveness is the spacious place God desires to bring us to. It’s a peaceful place, one where we can breathe freely. Fully.

Does God have great grace for us on our journey toward forgiveness? You bet He does! And when we need to travel that path again, He’ll walk with us. Sometimes, it’s not as simple as merely saying, “I forgive you.” But it’s a good place to start.

Forgiveness is like a decadent wedding cake. There are many layers to it. God gets that, because He gets us. All He’s asking for us to do is bite into it. His promise is that we’ll taste His goodness when we do.

The thing that happened to us isn’t good, but God is. His desire is to set captives free. Forgiveness is a giant key that opens the door to our freedom.

Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.─Proverbs 16:18 NASB

Pride trips us up with a knotted root of unforgiveness.

On the other hand, forgiveness elevates us.

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.─Colossians 3:12-13 BSB

If you have accepted Christ into your heart, you ARE one of His elect, holy and beloved. Stop right there. You are holy. You are beloved.

From that position, clothe yourself with compassion and humility.

Forgive ANY complaint you have against one another.

Any.

(I know. I know. Sometimes, that’s hard. Don’t do it in your own strength. Do it in HIS.)

I’m forever taking the pressure off myself. There’s just too much in the world. A lot could weigh us down. We can’t get to where God is taking us if we let that happen. Choose to seek Him as you take a bite out of unforgiveness. Here’s a prayer to start:

Lord, You know my heart and You know every act committed against me. You also know the things I have done to hurt others. Thank You for Your gift of forgiveness to me, so that I don’t need to wear the weight of that burden. Help me, instead, Lord to put on your righteousness and holiness. Clothe me in Your love, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I can forgive if you help me to get there, Lord. Please bring me to that spacious place. Help me to bask in Your love and peace as I do so, Lord. In Jesus’ precious name, amen!

Forgiveness Frees Us to Receive God’s Abundance

When God knows He can trust us to forgive, He can trust us with more.

To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.─Matthew 13:12 NLT

Joseph comes to mind. He was deeply betrayed by his brothers. He was put in a well and left for dead, all because they were jealous and annoyed with their baby brother who had a God-given dream and needed some growing up to do as to how he shared it. He suffered and was estranged from his family, even his brother Ben (because I like to imagine Joseph called him that versus Benjamin). I drop syllables on people’s names whom I’m close to. Jennifer becomes Jen. Samuel becomes Sam. So in my mind, Benjamin is Ben to Joseph.

Joseph also lost time with his father who deeply loved him. He didn’t get to make the memories with his father that his other siblings did.

We’d understand if Joseph let a bitter root of unforgiveness take over like vines that cling to a brick façade. The vines eventually tear down the structure by weakening it.

Have you ever seen a home unattended to? After awhile things deteriorate. Go back decades later and its almost unrecognizable. Overgrown and in disrepair, its former beauty and purpose hidden.

That’s what can happen to people once happy, who get wounded by other broken people when we choose not to live in the freedom of forgiveness.

Talk about clothing himself in kindness, Joseph did that!

He could have turned his brothers away when they needed food. Instead he used wisdom to test their heart. And he blessed them greatly.

Notice what I wrote above. Joseph tested their motives. Sometimes, people still aren’t safe for us. Forgive them and move on.

But sometimes it’s safe to let people stay (or to let them back in). Pray on this. Ask for God’s wisdom and discernment. And if you’ve never read the story of Joseph, I encourage you to do so. If you have, maybe God is calling you to read it again. This time through the lens of forgiveness.

Joseph rose above circumstances and was given a position of honor and authority. Nothing could thwart God’s plan for Joseph’s life. To fulfill His plan for Joseph, it did require his obedience.

Remember, when God knows He can trust us with a little, He’ll give us more. I’m not saying it will be easy, but start with small acts toward forgiveness.

Practically, what does that look like?

First, ask God to fill you with His love. It’s only out of His overflow that we can sacrificially love. Not out of a place of lack, but of much love.

Second, you could go back up and pray the prayer if you didn’t earlier.

Third, you could ask God for His wisdom and discernment as to whom is safe for you and who is not.

Fourth, pray for the person, especially if he or she is still living. No one is beyond God’s reach. No one.

Fifth, remember, just because we’re supposed to forgive those who trespass against us doesn’t mean we give them full access to tramp upon our hearts. God will show you who and how much access to give.

Lastly, ask God if there is a tangible way you can demonstrate forgiveness.

Maybe there is an act of “releasing” that you can do, ceremonially, that releases that person or circumstance to God. Like planting a flower (a bulb) that symbolizes forgiveness coming up from the darkness. In the future, whenever you see the flower come up each spring, you’ll be reminded of the fresh renewal forgiveness brings.

Maybe it’s placing lights along your sidewalk as a reminder that God’s path is well lit and He’s leading you on a journey toward forgiveness. Every time you see the light, be reminded of Christ’s light and love for you as He leads you on the narrow path. But the path of forgiveness leads to goodness, peace, and truth. The one that leads you to Him.

For me I have another bite of wedding cake God is calling me to take. It’s an easier bite than those I took earlier. The lump in my throat from the pain of the situation made the first bites of forgiveness hard to swallow. That’s how it often is, but if we choose to chew the pain and let Christ help us, we’ll live vibrantly again. Fully. Wholly. Completely.

I don’t want to live a half-eaten life. I don’t only want the leftovers. I want a full plate of God’s goodness. So I’ll chew, even when it’s hard.

The person I’m feeling called to bless didn’t directly hurt me, but a shared circumstance did (kind of – it’s complicated – it’s life, after all). I’ve felt led to pray for this person, so I have. And now I am feeling led to bless the person, which I will do. I’ve been praying about how God would want me to bless this person. He’s given me a few ideas, and we’re still working out the details.

He just kind of dropped the idea in my brain yesterday while I was out on a motorcycle ride. (Because that’s one of the spacious places He brings me to where I find peace. The open road, the more winding the better.)

I cried a little underneath my helmet, not because I’m mad or upset anymore. I cried at God’s goodness. I knew I would never have been able to easily accept His idea to bless a person involved with a circumstance that had wounded me deeply if it hadn’t been for Him. They were kind of celebratory tears of sorts. The deep pain had turned to a “small scar”.

What happened didn’t go away, but the excruciating pain had. In its place was God’s love and peace and the ability to bless.

If that’s not a spacious place, I don’t know what is.

Forgiveness Frees Us to Take Up Great Causes

There’s a song by Francesca Battistelli that keeps going through my brain. The lyric is this:

“It’s your life–what you gonna do? The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who your heart beats for
It’s an open door”2

I want to win. Don’t you?

One of the ways we win is when we take our deepest tragedies and turn them into triumphs.

I think of the mom who lost her son in a terrible tragedy. MADD was started because a mom chose to do something worthy and worthwhile with her pain. She chose to invest in forgiveness and used that horrific event as a platform to make the world a better place.

I want that for us. I want each of us to have the courage to take some of the darkest moments of our lives and turn them into something beautiful with Christ’s help. That is my prayer for all who are reading this.

How that looks for you will be dramatically different than how it looks for me. We don’t need any copycats. We are all originals, made in God’s image, but with a specific plan and purpose. I pray God shows you what that is and how to take the dark moments of your life and turn them into something beautiful. Only He has the power to do that, to transform our thinking (and our theology). Forgive. Love. Live. Go on vacation from the enemy’s tricks and choose God’s way.

If you’ve ever been to Hawaii, you know how breathtaking it is. I’ve visited the island of Kawaii a few times. It’s nothing short of paradise. (And it always reminds me of Fantasy Island since the opening scene was shot there.) You may already know this, but for those of you who don’t, the islands were formed from volcanic eruptions. From something cataclysmic, beauty emerged. When the lava cooled, it left something to build upon.

“Somewhere along the way, a lot of us misplaced our childlike imaginations and stopped believing we could either get around the lava or build something beautiful on top of it when it cooled. We began to question what was possible and what we’re actually capable of. We ran and fell, or tried and failed, or risked and lost. … Don’t let what’s happened in your past stop you from moving forward with your future. Give it some time. We can find our way around the lava where it flowed and build something beautiful on it when it cools. … We don’t need to run from the lava anymore, but instead imagine what it might become in time.”1

Isn’t that beautiful? I’ve been very touched by the book Love Lives Here. If you’re looking for your next book, this is a good one!

There was a dream I had. It got scorched. I could relate to the lava metaphor. It was like I had something – a dream God had given me – and it was burned to the ground. All that was left were ashes and a broken heart. The lava flowed and consumed it. It oozed and clung, ember red, everything up in flames. Then fear that hadn’t been there before set in. Fear interfered like an intruder. The scars limited my mobility. My imagination wasn’t able to stretch as far as it once had.

But rather than letting the lava scare me, I feel God calling me to rebuild upon the ashes. To let any little embers remaining spark something good and beautiful, something purposeful.

God is calling me to imagine again.

I wrote in my journal, “Lord, if I imagined, what? What then?”

As I did so, tears quickly slipped down my face. They poured. Not anything like lava. Like a rush.

“What then? I do not know. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. I don’t know even if I can. What, Lord? What then? What do You have to say about this? What does the still, small voice say?”

And do you know what? He “spoke”. He cast vision afresh. He knows I’m afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again. I wasn’t afraid the first time, but sometimes the second time around makes our knees knock a bit. (At least mine.)

It takes more courage to do something twice.

We know more. We know the cost. We’re definitely counting it.

Without forgiveness, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. God helped me to forgive. He helped me to heal. And He’s helping me to rise up out of the ashes. There’s still some ash, but I see hibiscus rising up out of the ground. The colors are bright and their smell is sweet.

We’re back to where we started.

Let’s pick up our feet and step over the tangled root of unforgiveness. God’s got places He wants to take us to.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1 Goff, Maria. Love Lives Here: Finding What You Need In A World Telling You What You Want. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2017.

2 Battistelli, Francesca. “It’s Your Life,” track #4 on My Paper Heart. Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group, CAPITOL CHRISTIAN MUSIC GROUP, 2008.