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Freedom and the Red Sea

09.20.2016 by Kim Findlay //

This month at Facets of Faith, we’re answering the question what would you give up to maintain your freedom? Tracy and Jen have already shared. Be sure to check out their posts by clicking on their names.

3As for me (Kim), when I think about this question, an epic story comes to mind. A story of slavery and the quest for freedom. A display of power and great love.

The Israelites crossing the Red Sea.

I often wonder what life was like for them.

From the good life under Joseph’s provision to the growing tension between two nations to being enslaved by the Egyptians, the Israelites were beaten, controlled, put down, and placed in bondage. They grew weary and longed for freedom, yet freedom seemed so far away.

Have you ever felt that way? Caught by something where the weight wears you down, trips you up, and enslaves you?

Maybe it’s an addiction, or a broken relationship. Maybe it’s a pattern of unhealthy choices, or a marriage that’s tearing you apart. Whatever the pain may be, it has the power to control and keep us locked up in turmoil.

There’s been a lot of brokenness and sorrow in my own life. From the death of my daughter to years in a difficult marriage that ultimately ended in divorce, I often cried out to God in despair, wondered if my life would ever change.

I wanted relief. I wanted my circumstances to change. I longed for the freedom found on the pages of Scripture and felt it was beyond my grasp.

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:17, NLT

“I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” John 10:10b

I wanted that. Freedom for a full and abundant life. But truthfully, I didn’t really know what that looked like. I lived in bondage to brokenness for so long, freedom – true freedom – seemed elusive, almost like a cruel joke.

Kind of like the Israelites.

They prayed and cried out to God, wondering if their situations would ever change. But God did hear their cries, their sorrow and lament, and He planned to do something amazing about it.

I wonder if any the Israelites knew what was coming? Did they suspect they were about to be rescued and see the glory of God? Do you think anyone laid in the bed at night as a sense of expectation filled the air? Or were their chains all they saw?

Enter Moses. Moses, saved first by his mom in a little boat, and then by Pharaoh’s daughter from the river. Moses, the one who heard God in a burning bush, called to lead His people to freedom. Moses, the one who questioned, and the one whom God answered. From let my people go to the 12 plagues until Pharaoh finally said go. And go they did, all the way to the Red Sea.

The Red Sea.

That’s the moment I wonder about. That moment when the freedom seemed but a hair-breath’s away. That moment when the hope that soared high was threatened by the stretch of water before them.

I wonder what the Israelites were willing to give up in that moment in order to maintain their freedom?

They gave up their homes, and all that was familiar. As they stood on the banks of the sea, what else were they willing to release? Fear? Disbelief? Uncertainty? Doubt?

Perhaps those are some of the same we need to give up in order to maintain our own?

God, the One who led them in a cloud during the day and fire by night, commanded Moses to spread out his arms. Did the Israelites stare in disbelief as Moses raised them up? Did doubt crowd their minds and tumble from their lips?

Is he really doing that? Will it even make a difference? 

As the sea began to move, did their hearts skip a beat? Were their doubts and questions replaced with expectancy as the waters shifted?

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20, NLT

What about that moment when the sea parted and the ground was dry? What happened then? Did the nation move quickly, a spring in their step as faith propelled them forward? Or did they move with hesitancy, trapped by the doubt regardless of what happened before their very eyes?

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9, NLT

Scripture doesn’t tell us those specific but it does make know that never once during those moments at the sea, nor throughout their wanderings were the people of Israel alone. God was with them every step of the way, working out His perfect plan to draw the nation closer to Himself.

But they had a choice. They had to choose let go of what they knew in order to experience what they didn’t.

As God mends my heart, He is showing me that I have a choice as well. Yes, Jesus came to offer us freedom from sin, freedom from death and destruction, freedom to live an abundant life in Him, but unless I move, I’ll remain in chains.

Like the Israelites, I can choose to stay on one side of the sea, sure of what I think I see, or I can step out in faith, release my thoughts and expectations, and follow the One who sees it all.

I’m learning to let go of the very things that have hurt me most – the sorrow of death and the pain of failure. I’m learning that my freedom – peace and joy and abundant life – are worth the risk of choosing to heal, choosing to trust.

I’m letting go of my fear and my doubt, believing God is as faithful and true now as He was when He parted the Red Sea.

I’m learning there is freedom when I release the pain of my past to the One who holds my future as I fix my eyes on the living Author and Perfector of my faith.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2a, NLT

What hurt are you willing to give up in order to maintain your freedom?

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Kim Signature

Categories // Freedom Tags // child loss, divorce, Freedom, healing, hope, truth

When the Shadow of Fear Looms

07.19.2016 by Kim Findlay //

This month we’ve been answering the question “how has God changed my perspective about an issue”. Tracy and Jen shared their stories earlier this month. You do not want to miss them so click on their names and check out how God shifted their perspective on two very personal issues.

Perspective_Issue Kim

I have lived much of my life battling one thing: fear.

When I was little, fear took the shape of typical childhood distress. Fear of the dark. Fear of being lost. Fear of losing my mom or dad.

As I grew, some of those fears remained in my childhood while others shifted into the shadows, lurking close enough to incite anxiety but far enough to remain elusive, unidentifiable.

I didn’t always know I struggled with fear. Early on it wore different faces: moving cross-country; making new friends; starting new schools; the darkness of our basement; moving out of my parents’ home with a newborn baby; uncertainty and distress after the Oklahoma City bombings; blending a family of five after a debilitating stroke struck my first husband; adding a sixth member to our floundering family.

During those years I rationalized my feelings and disregarded their strength. Fear lurked in every corner of my heart, threatened any sense of peace and security yet I was convinced if I just tried harder, served God more, and did all the right things, those feelings would dissipate in absolute trust. After all, doesn’t the Bible tell us not to be afraid, supposedly offering one verse for every day of the year? So if I felt afraid, if I allowed fear to dig its roots into my soul, did I not trust God? Had I lost my faith?

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious righthand.” Isaiah 41:10, NLT

I believe Scripture is true. All of it. I believe when God tells us not to be afraid, we’re not to be afraid. But what I struggled to understand, what I’m still wrestling through: what happens when I do feel afraid? When fear steps creeps out of the shadows and looms large? Because it happens. A lot.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7, NLT

March 2, 2005. My greatest nightmare, my biggest fear, became my most devastating reality as fire destroyed our home and death snatch away the life one of my children. Fear no longer lurked in the shadows but became as real as the air I breathed.

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before the. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6, NLT

I could no longer pretend fear had not been a constant companion. I could no longer deny its existence. I watched its shadow creep over the precious face of my little girl as I stood on the brink of allowing fear to consume me, erasing any existence of God, any truth I thought I believed.

Yet as I stared at my greatest fear, as I look it square in its eye and grabbed it by its shoulders, a greater truth began to take shape. A truth I had heard but was only beginning to understand.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12, NLT

Fear is a feeling, a very real and legitimate feeling given to us as a means of protection. As I stood on my driveway as my house burned, the fear I felt was real and appropriate.

But sometimes it seems bigger and feels even stronger because the unseen world twists and corrupts. That’s the goal, after all: to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10a). The battle is real and fear can be an effective weapon.

Fears are distorted into the what-if’s and what-might-be’s. What if fire strikes again? What if my spouse chooses to leave me? What if something happens to my child? What if I can’t make the bills this month? Scripture calls those fears “worry” and challenges us to determine their usefulness (Matthew 6:27-30). All they do is snatch away our joy, our peace, and sometimes even our relationships.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7, NLT

What do we do when fear creeps in? How can we respond?

I’m learning to bring my fear to Him. Every. Single. One. I’m learning that He doesn’t taunt me or ridicule me. He won’t condemn or make fun of me. As those feelings creep up my spine and grip my heart, I’m learning to cry out and invite Him in, to call on His name and be reminded of His power, power that is stronger than any fear.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.” 1 John 4:18a, NLT

He’s changing my perceptive. He’s opening my eyes to see His true character, who He is and how He cares for me, the truth that He loves me and knows everything about me (Psalm 139), including each fear I face.

The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:14, NLT

I’m learning that while fear lurks in the shadows of this broken and fallen world, I don’t have to face it on my own. Nor do you. We can safely and confidently press in to the One who loves us so much that He fought death on our behalf . . . and won.

Wait patiently for the Lord. Be strong and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14, NLT

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

What issue do you believe God is wanting to shift for you? Join the conversation and share in the comments or over on our Facebook page.

Categories // Life, Perspective Tags // child loss, Death, Faith, fear, grief, healing, hope, loss, Love, Trust

A Perspective Shift on Death, Life, and a Little Girl

06.21.2016 by Kim Findlay //

Here we are at week three and it’s my turn (Kim) to answer the question: how has God changed your perspective about someone else? If you missed Tracy and Jen’s answers, be sure to click on their name and check them out.

Perspective_Someone Kim

I dreamed about her last night. I don’t often dream of her. I can count on one hand the number of times she’s entered my dreams since she’s been gone.

Yet there she was . . .

Living.

Dancing.

Breathing.

My heart grasped to understand. I felt the warmth of her little body next to me yet somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain, reality slowly dissolved my dream. I had buried that precious body more than eleven years ago.

When Emma died.

Some people say time heals all wounds but honestly? If I left the healing of my tender heart to the impersonal care of time, my wounds would still be gaping wide in the open air, festering and gross. Others say the time we have here on earth is all we’ve got. When we breath our last, we simply disappear and cease to exist.

So does Emma no longer exist? Has any other child, or parent, or spouse, or loved one who died simply . . . disappeared?

Or is there something more? Something that comes after death? If you had asked me that question twelve years ago, I would’ve shared how death scared me. How the darkness of the unknown reality after a final breath terrified me to the core of my soul. And if someone had even hinted that one of my children might die, I might’ve laughed, and then cried, and then lived in fear every minute of the day.

Emma was our gift, as every child is to a family. But her? She was the one who belonged to each of us, a completion to our blended family. She drew us in, bound us together, and spread love everywhere she went.
Especially to me.

I’m her mom, after all. Her momma bear. The one who watches over her, protects her, and cares for her. I carried her in my womb for nine months as those innate, primal instincts grew alongside her, just as they had with her older sister.

Isn’t it natural, then, to think our children belong to us; that she belonged to me?

So when death ripped my sweet Emma way at the tender age of five, it felt anything but natural. Fire destroyed our home and I stared death down . . . and lost. I lost her. I lost my identity as her mom. And I almost lost my way.

The weeks that followed the fire were a blur of hospitals & doctors, police & fire investigators, sorrow & failure. My heart vacillated between the destruction my family endured, the longing to hold my precious girl once more, and listening to a quiet, gentle voice that began whispering to my tattered heart.

I failed her.
There is no condemnation with me (Romans 8:1)

I don’t know what to do now.
I know the plans I have for you (Jeremiah 29:11)

I’ll never see her again.
In my house are many rooms (John 14:1-4)

Her life was cut way too short.
 I set her number of days, and yours (Psalm 139:16)

I can’t live without her.
You can do everything with me (Philippians 4:13)

But I was supposed to die first.
My ways are higher (Isaiah 55:9)

That’s the thing about sorrow, it distorts everything around us. Our circumstances. Our perspectives. Our truth.

Even about my sweet girl.

A battle raged deep in my soul between the seen devastation and His unseen kingdom. Stories about the great cloud of witnesses, Scripture verses, and those whispers drew together to become a tender battle cry, spurring me on as the drama of death and loss unfolded.

When all I could see was the empty chair at the table, He reminded me of His presence (Psalm 91:14-16) . When my eyes stayed stuck on what I lacked, He reminded me of His provision (Matthew 6:33). When shame and sorrow wrapped around my soul threatening to squeeze out the last ounce of breath, He reminded me that He is my sustainer and giver of life (Ezekiel 37:5-6).

I begged God to show me what was true in spite of what I saw. To help me to fix my eyes on Him as the Author and Perfect of my faith. He heard my cry and slowly, ever so slowly, He shifted my perspective and answered my prayer.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.” Hebrews 12:2a

I knew this to be true: Emma died. Her body no longer moves and breathes and grows. This side of heaven, I will never again hold her in a sweet embrace. I won’t get to watch her learn how to drive, graduate from high school, fall in love, or embrace her life’s passions.

As I pressed into my sorrow and pain, as God blessed me with the strength to keep my eyes fixed on Him, a larger truth took shape.

Heaven is real (1 Peter 3:22).

Jesus is preparing a place for each one of those who love and follow Him there (Ephesians 1:19-20).

Heaven is our home. (Revelation 21:1-4)

She is still my sweet girl and I am still her mom.

No, I will never again see Emma this side of heaven. But that’s the key, isn’t it? This side of heaven. That means there’s another side, a side where Emma lives and breaths and moves, more alive than any moment she had here on earth. A place where a precious piece of my heart now resides. And one day, one glorious day I will join her. One day my Savior will call me home and I’ll walk through heaven with my sweet girl’s hand placed firmly in mine. And this time, mother and daughter will never again be apart.

He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.” Psalm 18:16, NLT

How is God shifting your perceptive about someone in your life?

Kim Signature

Categories // Life, Perspective Tags // child loss, Death, hope, loss, Scripture, truth

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