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The Beauty of Gathering

11.24.2020 by Alaina Bennetts //

Welcome! Happy Thanksgiving Week!  This week is my (Megan’s) favorite.  I get to introduce you to my dear friend, Alaina!  When we decided to write on gathering, I couldn’t think of anyone better to share with you.  She really knows how to love her community, and point them back to Jesus. With all that is up in the air right now with traveling and gathering restrictions, the pandemic, and everything else, we know that the holidays may be feeling really different.  Whether everything feels the same or you find yourself in a place of mourning or rejoicing,  I pray that you will be reminded of the presence of God with you and that you will be drawn in by the comfort only He can provide.

 

Who burnt my turkey? (Guest)

 

I’m 33 years old. When I was 31, I started dating Kyle, and 8 months later I married him. Before that, I was pretty single — Like hadn’t gone on a date in over a year and people were highly encouraging to join e-Harmony kind of single. But here’s the thing, even though I was dateless for a while, I learned the art of doing life with people that kept my mind (mostly) off what I didn’t have.  What was one of my secrets, you ask? Sharing a meal with others. Sometimes I’d even reason that communion, Jesus style, was intended to be a whole meal.  So it didn’t matter how busy I was, I loved pausing long enough to enjoy dinner with someone else across the table from me. 

There was something about being with another person face to face and hearing them say what was going on that allowed me to be fully present with them. It gave me permission to be in their world and them in mine for that time. Sharing a meal brought us together. There was a sense of unity in our breaking of the bread. It almost felt like, for that time, we were family, even if we weren’t. All those conversations allowed me to hear at a deeper level what was going on past the quick, “How are you?” exchanges.

In a lot of ways I can see how God shaped those talks to grow me as His daughter, so I would be about His business. As I would step into the lives of those around me, I’d get a better idea of how to live out what the Bible says about loving my neighbor. It gave me a chance to exercise my faith; to pray with people who were hurting; to listen to those who were mourning, and to rejoice with those who were celebrating. It also gave me a chance, more than once, to say, “I’m sorry,” or “I forgive you.” Gathering together wasn’t about the perfect Instagram post to show off later, it was about doing life with people, even when it got messy. Getting close to people can show all our imperfections, but it also shows so much more of the beauty the  life God gave us has to offer. 

And then 2020 came, and we all experienced the pandemic of Covid-19.  Where staying home was mandated, and gathering was prohibited. What was only going to be 2 weeks of slowing down turned into a whole year getting turned upside down as schools adjusted, concerts and sports were canceled, and churches shut the doors of their buildings for the first time in the history of my lifetime and yours. Gatherings weren’t allowed. Even families’ social distanced to keep each other safe, and slow down the spread of the virus.

Screens were the only way we connected as spring started to come into season, but then people started getting creative. Why? Because they realized, gathering together is a key ingredient when you are intentional about living like Jesus did. People started going for walks – no matter the weather.  They dropped off meals. They were showing up to talk to their friends and family on the lawn. Or talking to their neighbors from their porch. 

Churches changed up how they worshiped Jesus & looked for ways to be intentional about serving one another.

 John 13:34-35 reads:

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Have you ever noticed, people don’t accidentally love someone? They have to deliberately plan to put someone else before their own wants. You can’t love other people if you’re doing life alone. In fact, you can’t live out the Bible if you are doing life alone.  

2020 is coming to end and the coming holidays are going to look different than the traditions we are used to, but we still have a choice for how we handle them. 

We have a choice to look for ways to love others, and make room for it in schedules – even if it’s different. 

A choice to go slow with our day so we can be intentional with those God has put in our life. 

A choice to respect how others feel safe, and accommodate them.  You can show them some Jesus-love in person or from afar. 

Yes, gathering is going to look different, but if we don’t prioritize it, we lose the chance to live out the example of the Rescuer that the world desperately needs right now, Jesus Christ.  He is the reason our hope is never lost, no matter the current affairs. Jesus is the reason we can sit across the table and share a meal, even if it’s outside and we’re 6 feet apart.  We’re just looking for a chance to live out the love Jesus first showed us so many years ago; the love that changed the world, and it continues to change mine. 

Categories // Guest Perspectives, Who Burnt My Turkey? Tags // community, gathering, John 13:34-35, Thanksgiving

Royal Community

05.19.2020 by Megan Abbott //

Hey! Welcome back friends.  I hope you are all doing well this fine Tuesday.  This month we are talking about the Royal Treatment.  If you haven’t had a chance to check out Tracy’s post, you are missing out.  Take a minute to go check out the awesome message she shared from Esther.  You will get a surprise post from Jen sometime soon, and an extra special guest next week, so keep checking back!  I pray that God will bring you joy this week, and that the words shared in this community will be encouraging to your hearts.

Do you give her the royal treatment? (Megan Abbott)

 

Lately, I find myself thinking a lot about community.  I am going to take a wild guess and say it is because this is week 9 or so of the stay-at-home order and actual face-to-face community is something my heart craves daily.  I have Zoomed, FaceTimed, texted, and called, but just nothing is quite like 3 dimensional friendship.  As in-person community has dwindled, and I have had to learn new ways to communicate, and become a lot more intentional in my relationships, I have been reminded just how much my friends help straighten my crown.

The Crown

While I do have a crown, this is not me claiming that I am Princess of Genovia, or anything of the sort.  In fact, when we started bouncing ideas back and forth for this month’s topic, the word “princess” was said a few more times than I would have liked to hear.  I cringed every time.  I’m not a fan.  There is something about being “God’s princess” that does not resonate with me.  It feels too froo froo, too fairy-tale, too fake.  Maybe it is the desire to be strong and independent, and I can’t quite reconcile the two.

The reality, though, is they can be reconciled.  My God, my Heavenly Father, is also the King of Kings.  He is full of majesty.  He reigns over all the earth, and He also calls me His daughter.  I may not be an actual princess, but I am something better – I am a chosen, beloved, daughter of THE King.  

Royal Community

It doesn’t take a lot of digging to find mentions of community in the bible.  In fact, it may take more digging to find absence of community.  When the Pharisees questioned Jesus about the greatest commandment in Matthew 22, His first answer was Love the Lord your God.  The second?  Love your neighbor as yourself.  The second greatest commandment is to love our neighbors.  We are made to live in community.  We see one of the reasons why in Romans 12.

Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.”  Romans 12:4-5

We all belong to each other, many parts of the same body.  As someone recovering from being pretty sick, I have to say, when one part of the body is sick, the whole body struggles.  My legs were healthy and capable, but I couldn’t keep going on long walks because other parts of my body were sick and my legs can’t act independently.  The same is true for believers.  We are part of one body, and need to come alongside one another and encourage healing where healing is needed.  All with grace and truth.

The Importance of Truth-Tellers

Healing doesn’t often happen in just any relationship.  I have a few friends that instantly know when I am struggling.  Whether it is from distraction, disappointment, anger, hurt, or something else, they know me.  They know my heart well enough to see, and they have built the trust with me enough to speak life and truth back to me in those moments.  

Don’t just pretend to love others.  Really love them.  Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” -Romans 12:9-10

In case I haven’t said it quite enough yet, we were not made to do life alone.  I know when things start to get messy, it can feel a lot easier to disconnect from those friends who know us the most, those who share the truth with grace whether it is what we want to hear or not.  The ones who really love us.  However, those are the people we need in our lives.  They are our truth-tellers.  They are the friends that remind us that we are the daughter of the King of Kings, that He loves us, and that there is never a point where we have screwed up so badly our crown can’t be put back on.

I encourage you to hold tight to the truth-tellers in your life.  The friends who will help straighten your crown when it is a bit crooked.  If you don’t have this kind of community, I pray that as you initiate that vulnerability and truth with your friends, that God will cultivate an environment for your friendships to deepen, and flourish.

Join us in the comments below, or on Facebook and let us know what you God has been teaching you in this time of distanced community.

Signature: Megan Abbott

Categories // Do You Give Her the Royal Treatment?, Megan Abbott's Perspective Tags // authentic friendship, community, Matthew 22:34-40, Megan Abbott, Romans 12:, Romans 12:4-5, Romans 12:9-10

Love From a Distance

03.17.2020 by Megan Abbott //

Hello friends!  Welcome back to our gathering space.  This month, each of us have pondered on the question “Do they know they are loved?” and each of us ending with a different “facet” (haha)… Check back with Jen and Tracy to hear their thoughts, and get excited for next week’s guest, Judy!  I am going to be really honest, this has by far been the hardest post I have ever written. There have been tears, second guessing, broken internet, interruptions, lost writing, emotional exhaustion, more tears, and the list goes on.  I pray that God meets us both here, and our hearts find rest in a time of unrest.

03 2020 Do they know they are loved? Megan Abbott

Loneliness Epidemic

For years I have overheard the idea that loneliness is an epidemic in our society, but I don’t think I have ever truly experienced long-term loneliness.  I have had moments of loneliness, glimpses, but never long-term. Moments when living alone left me feeling isolated, searching for a new community made me miss old friends, or even those times I was filling out an emergency contact at the doctor’s office and I remembered I’m single, and my family is 550 miles away. 

Then this past week happened.  Each day there were multiple updates.  It was like every few hours the news changed, trips cancelled, gatherings over 1000, then over 250, then churches cancelled, and then schools cancelled.  Honestly, by the time we got to the middle of the week, each time I read the news, or got another notification about something changing I started crying. I could foresee the moment when I would be told “you should stay home until further notice”.  And now we’re there. I live alone. No other people. No community. No visitors to look forward to. No trips. Just me and my dog. And without a real end date. This is why I was crying all last week. The prospect of loneliness was ominous.

God Given Community

There is no denying that we were created to live in community.  Start in Genesis with Adam and Eve in community with God. The census and lists of tribes throughout the Old Testament.  The friendship between David and Jonathan. Jesus and His disciples. Think, even, just about the Trinity. God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  They exist in community as One. So there is no surprise that we, created in God’s image, would so desperately need community.    

My command is this: love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:12-13 (NIV)

I often experience God’s love and grace towards me through my friends.  They remind me of the truth when I can’t see it. They get me laughing and bring joy to my days.  They give me hugs at just the right moments, when I am really needing to feel God’s presence. 

So what happens when we are alone? Or we are starting over somewhere new? Or there is a global pandemic, and to best love our neighbors, we practice social distancing? How do “they” know they are loved when no one is around?  The easy answer is “God promises to always be with you” (Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 28:20), but what about the moments when we need tangible community? When God feels too far away, and we need a hug to remind us that we aren’t in this alone (unless you are Jen and hugging isn’t your thing). 

Seen From A Distance

A year or so ago, my friend Alaina gave a sermon at her church where the main message was: “The cure for loneliness is to help other people feel less lonely.” We have to be intentional to love people when we aren’t physically able to be in a room with them.  If you are thinking of your friend, send them a text and let them know you are thinking of them, or that you miss them.  Ask them how they are, and actually anticipate a response. Think about a time when you most felt seen and remembered by a loved one, and do that for someone else.  Love people unconditionally like God loves you. While I acknowledge that the Spirit lives within me and often reminds me of God’s presence, God has done a pretty awesome job of leaving me feeling loved and remembered without physically being within the 6 foot buffer recommended by social distancing.  Pray for the Holy Spirit to nudge you, and then listen when people are brought to your mind.

It is okay, and super healthy, to acknowledge if you are sad, if you are feeling disappointed, loss, anxiety, or even a little scared. I think a lot of us are.  Which means we aren’t alone. If you are feeling lonely, reach out to a friend and start the conversation. If you have friends or loved ones that are living alone, check on them.  Call them and remind them they are seen and remembered. Help others feel less lonely.

When life starts to return to normal for most of us, let’s remember that community still requires intentionality.  Loneliness will still be an epidemic requiring our attention.  Let us grow in compassion for one another, and ask God how we can use that compassion to better love our community now, and in the future. 

Join us on Facebook, or in the comments, and let us know how you are loving your friends and community from afar!

Signature: Megan Abbott

Categories // Do They Know They Are Loved?, Megan Abbott's Perspective Tags // community, Isolation, John 15:12-13, loneliness, Love, social distancing

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