Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

Love Is…Compassion

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Welcome, friend, this month the Facets are turning over a good question: Do they know they are loved? Deciding who “they” might be is up to each writer. We ponder whether we are loving others well because that’s what a follower of Jesus is called to do in light of Jesus’ compassion at the cross. Compassion is key. Take a peek at Tracy’s thoughts here, but don’t miss Megan’s and our guest’s posts when they appear!

03 2020 Do they know they are loved? J Howe

We’ve Got Stories

I (Jennifer) have a story. You do, too. We aren’t that different, you and I. My story may be rougher around the edges than yours, or not. Let’s avoid the comparison game and, instead, think about the experiences and imagine what compassion looks like in light of the good, bad, and ugly stories. How would we give compassion? How would we receive it?

A Hurting World and Harm

In this crazy-busy world, who of us is not hurting? Our culture is overwhelmed with strong, nagging feelings—anxiety over things yet to come that may never come; fear of the hard reality we face every day; frustration over the things others say, think, and do; and anger because, well, life shouldn’t be this way. Our hearts break just a little more each day in a hundred ways.

The harm is real. Adding two elements, helplessness and abandonment, to any deeply harmful incident creates a traumatizing incident, a perfect storm. Whether you’ve been traumatized or not, this may put words to how trauma affects a person—

Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.1

The wounds can be deep—and they can heal! God can use Scripture, relationships, and story work powerfully in the process. God’s biblical truth, compassionate love, and power are always the focus. The stories spark heart connection with God, self, and others. In the right human relationships, we may find the wounds aren’t so different or indelible. We might find a whole community experiencing pain we understand.

Time

It heals all wounds, they say. (I don’t believe that’s true.) It happened so long ago, they say. (Read The Body Keeps the Score.) Why would you go back and dig up dead things in the “bone yard,” they wonder? (We don’t want to do that!) It can’t be as bad as all that—ten minutes of your life in 50 years can’t be that big a deal, they say. (Really. Trauma is that big a deal.)

Trauma in the Church

When the Church welcomes a hurting world, the people inside her walls are wounded by real, terrible things. What will the people in the Church do about that? Will the whole community know the truth and freedom in Jesus? The number of people in the body of Christ knowing the biblical truth, compassionate love, and transforming power of God is related to the preaching, teaching, and relationships. I suggest we think about relationships in the context of God, self, and others.

You and Me

Compassion in our world and our churches begins with you and me. We answer questions for ourselves, and then we can sit with others as they answer the same questions.

Let’s start simply.

Do you know you are loved?

I’m a 5 on the Enneagram, and I desperately need to stretch beyond what I know cognitively to the reality of God’s love.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 NLT

How do you measure God’s love knowing Jesus would die for every one of us? He did just that! Consider Jesus’ love in light of this: But God showed great love for us by sending Jesus to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8).

I won’t lie. It’s not easy to wrap my mind around John 3:16 because I know who I’ve been and the struggles I still have. Honestly, I find myself asking God to make the depth of His love real and settled in my mind and heart.

Do you bless your self with God’s love?

In my too-black-and-white, perfectionist mind, I sometimes fight to believe my God’s grace isn’t saved for perfect people—it saves imperfect people from their sin and into the Kingdom. Imperfect? That’s me! Jesus’ death on the cross wouldn’t be necessary if I could achieve perfection. And if grace could be earned, it wouldn’t be grace. Sin is the reality of this world and our condition at the DNA level. Because of sin, we need God’s solution.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 NLT

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

I think we ask our loving God to help us show appropriate love and care to ourselves—mind, body, and soul—in light of His grace.

Do you bless others with God’s love?

Culture wars, wars on all the things, wars on each other—we aren’t always good at loving, are we? We have a hard time liking people who look, think, or behave differently, let alone loving them! We’ve forgotten the real war:

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 NLT

If we think “we have met the enemy, and the enemy is us,” we would be terribly wrong.2 The one who claims to follow Jesus receives two commands: love God and love others (Matthew 22:37-40). Even if someone qualifies as an “enemy,” we must love and pray for them (Luke 6:27).

What does love look like?

We are surrounded by people who have stories, just as we have our own. We do well to remember everyone fights a battle we can’t see. Time doesn’t heal wounds, caring relationship does. We all need a saving relationship with God through Jesus, and then we receive God’s power through the presence of His Holy Spirit. God loves us deeply and well—He is compassion. We need Him, and we need supportive relationships with safe people.

It’s not good for a woman to be alone. A wise woman opens her life to honest, compassionate people who can support her when she’s ready. That looks like finding someone who will hold her story with gentleness and kindness by listening carefully without interruption, instructive comments, or judgement. She takes care of herself with gentleness and humility, and then offers the same gentle, humble compassion to others when she can. As she heals and matures, she becomes a safe person for others.

Thanks for reading. You can find the Facets on Facebook. I would love to read your thoughts here or there.

Signature: Jennifer Howe

 

 

 

 

 

1 Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, p. 97.
2 Walt Kelly, 1970.
For more on “story work,” check out The Allender Center, Seattle, WA.

You Are…Honored!

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Welcome to FACETS, friend. Take a look around in February, and you’ll see we’re at play and doing things a little differently. We are leaning into a “Did you know you are…” set, and we hope you’ll enjoy it. Each Facet is writing from her heart. Take a peek at Tracy’s post that reminds us that we are cherished. You are honored, beloved, and celebrated, too.

IMAGE: Do You Know You Are...Honored

Do you know you are…honored?

I (Jennifer) have a unique moment in front of me. The question floats through my mind, to my heart, and back. If we could sit together over a cuppa right now at my caffeinated hidey hole, I’d relish it! We might chat about Chicago’s unpredictable weather, move on to the extraordinary in the very ordinary of our lives—and then something deeper could happen. The question would hang in the air: Do you know you are honored?

I imagine the two of us exploring truth. Are we honored? What does He say? Are we comfortable even speaking the words out loud? I am honored? We do a funny dance around words like that.

Yes? No? Maybe so?

The Christian faith is, first, biblical! And yet, a Moody Founder’s Week speaker reminded me last week, “Some of the worst advice comes from within the church.” What is genuinely true? Do I have “fire insurance” from a prayer I once prayed? If I am saved from my sins, am I saved to something? Am I a sinner halfway dragged from the gutter until heaven? Am I a royal daughter of the King of the universe who has authority over all things and receives a big, ol’ YES! from the heavens in response to every prayer?

I’ve asked all of these questions at some point in over twenty-five years, and the majority of questions like them have been settled in my mind through time reading the Bible, praying to understand the words, and having deep conversations with trusted friends. If you’re still encountering these questions, I want to encourage you—you have the opportunity to silence the slippery tongue that’s trying to confuse you. None of us needs to stay in the place of confused identity when it comes to our relationship with Daddy-God. He will tell us who we are!

Honored? I’m not worthy!

Let’s face it, honored is a big, fat, heavy word for some of us. Can we honor anyone but Jesus? How can I possibly be honored if He is the one worthy of honor and praise:

They said with a loud voice,
Worthy is the Lamb who was slaughtered
to receive power and riches
and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and blessing! Revelation 5:12 CSB

The truth is plain. He. Is. Worthy!

Honor shared…

But what about li’l, old you and me? What does the Bible say about our honor?

Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ. 2 Thessalonians 1:12 ESV [Emphasis mine.]

When I read that, I feel all the emotions. How about you? There is honor in living honorably. We honor Jesus with our lives; He is honored, and we share in His honor. The honor is not our own, and that’s as it should be!

Honor given…

You know I was searching for “real food” in the Bible, right? I looked at all the appearances of honor because I needed to know I was, for sure, reading what He had to say about our honor without the sauce of pride dripping all over it. This practically leapt off the page:

Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them. James 1:9 ESV

I live in a time (in church history) and place (in the world) that is so rich, many of us have forgotten what it means to be genuinely poor. We have a cultural conversation about “the working poor,” American poverty levels, and the wars on all the things. We talk about the difficulty of being a believer in a culture that rejects truth and substitutes it with their own. It’s a shame we can’t talk about God in the workplace or the neighborhood. What would people say?

Let’s get perspective: generations all over the world, places where professing Christianity is a death sentence, hope for the next morsel, the next pittance-paying job, a wedding to reduce the number of mouths to feed, or an orphanage to give a child a better life.

I don’t know this kind of “poor.” It exists, though. What will I do about that? What will we do?

The poor are honored by God because He loves them, because of the frailty of their lives, and because no one else honors them. Our God is loving like that. And we should be the church. We should live a life that honors them and shares in the honor of Christ who loves and honors like that! We give the honor to them because He does.

Sometimes I must write to myself in these posts: Jen, it’s not all about you.

You are…

Our God is loving! That’s what I love so much about Him—He calls every one of us into deep relationship while we are still sinners (Romans 5:8), and He shares His honor with us when we hide our lives in His and live honorably by His power. By extension of our authentic, godly life with Him, we give honor to the weakest—the ones with no voice or wealth or noticeable honor in this world. We are the church when we do that. That’s our calling.

And then there’s this:

…you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you. Isaiah 43:4 ESV

In His goodness and grace, there’s that. The context of that verse up there offers clarity about God’s preferential treatment toward His beloved (that’s us!). You and I are precious to Him. We are the “loved ones” who bring the light! He desires to draw us close; transform our hearts, minds, and lives; and work in and through us in this dark world.

Jesus’ sacrifice on a rough-hewn cross communicates something deep: He chose to come for us, each of us is loved and honored by His choice, and we share in His honor.

I feel this is how this post wraps up. I pray this for us!

So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. 2 Thessalonians 1:11 ESV

It’s an honor that you visit this space. Thank you! If you think this can be a blessing for someone else, share it. What I’d really, really love? Start a conversation here, at the Facebook Page, or on your own Facebook (if you’re bold).

Signature: Jennifer Howe

Is 2020 Feeling Blurry?

by //

Hi Friends! Welcome back to Facets of Faith this fine Tuesday.  I hope amidst all the anticipation of the new year and new decade, you are finding joy in each and every new day.  This month we are sharing how we see 2020.  How do you see 2020?  Take a minute to jump back a couple weeks to Tracy’s post on finding joy, here, and check out Jen’s thoughts from last week on planning for 2020, here.  I pray that as we take on a new year here at FACETS, God will be moving in this community, and encouraging each of us.

How Do You See 2020? (Megan)

Last year I had a word of the year—rest.  It started as finding time to slow down and sit with the Lord without an agenda, transformed into learning about the sabbath, and eventually was something that gave me space for healing I really needed.  When it was first revealed, though, I was honestly a bit frustrated. I didn’t know where it would lead. It was as if the mental movie of my future felt out of focus because the word could either lead a million places, or nowhere.  How did God want me to act on “rest”?

Have you ever been there?  Where you prayed for what God had in store for you in the season, and the answer was just blurry enough you were left wondering, “What in the world, God? Where are we going?” If I’m honest, I’m right there again this year. I have been in a season of rest that feels like it prepared me for a whirlwind season. I haven’t quite settled on one word, but I feel full of anticipation for the new adventures ahead in this year. Do you know what isn’t so good, though, for jumping feet first into a new adventure?  

A walking cast. 

How does this make sense?  They aren’t exactly made for jumping, or running, and I’m not even entirely convinced they are made for walking! Definitely not for speed or excitement. When I was considering new adventures in the new year, this wasn’t quite what I meant. But here I am taking one wobbly step forward at the speed of a sloth.

SO WHERE ARE WE GOING GOD?

When I’m really confused and don’t quite know how to pray, I usually end up in the Psalms. I know this is maybe a bit more literal than it should actually be taken, but I prayed Psalm 119:105 over and over again as I was trying to figure out where God was leading me. 

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105 (ESV)  

Praying that I would find clarity in His word for what I should be learning about “rest.” I have been thinking back on it, and the same image keeps coming to mind: trying to find my destination in complete darkness.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND

Several years ago I spent a few years living in a small village in rural southern Belize.  There were 254 people, we spoke Q’eqchi, the village was surrounded by rainforest and plantations, and there was no electricity for miles. When the moon was full, or close to full, you could walk around without a flashlight in areas you were familiar with and be alright, but during that new moon time, it was dark. Can’t see the next step in front of you dark. The stars were amazingly beautiful, but flashlights were a requirement for life.

A few things you should know to fully appreciate where we are going: 

  1. My bathroom was a latrine about 100ft from my house, and my water spigot where I could wash my hands or dishes was about 50 feet away in a little shed that also housed a tarantula I named Charlotte and often a giant k’oopopo’ (toad);
  2. The shop in my village didn’t sell batteries so if I forgot them on my weekly trip to the market town, I was out of luck; 
  3. Batteries die much faster when it is over 100 degrees everyday, and
  4. I didn’t often plan ahead.

UTTER DARKNESS

So I vividly remember what it was like the first time my flashlight died and I tried to walk to the bathroom without it.  I also remember the first time I tried to walk down the path using a candle for light. Flashlights light up the whole path in front of you. You can see clearly what you are approaching, and easily find your way. Candles, not so much; they glow in your face. You can see your next step, but not much of anything further than that. I knew exactly where my water spigot was in relationship to my house, but I had no idea where Charlotte would be. When I had a candle, it was one step at a time, and a lot of praying away the tarantulas.    

FOLLOW THE LIGHT

I think walking with God bounces back and forth between taking the path with a candle, and taking the path with a flashlight.  There have been times where I have peace about decisions, a vision for where I am going, and am confident about the path to get there. There are other times that it is literally minute-by-minute. Either way, God is revealing the path as we go, just sometimes He is using a flashlight, and sometimes He seems to be using a candle. I often want the full moon version where I can see everything clearly.  

BY MY VISION

Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.”  Psalm 139:12 (ESV)

As someone who likes to understand everything, and really know what the plan is, I struggle with only having a candle light the next step.  It isn’t comfortable. It is hard. It requires a lot of trust. I have read and prayed through Psalm 139 almost daily for the last week. It reminds me that God knows me, He surrounds me, He protects me, and He is going wherever I go. How comforting are these words:

Even then You will be there to guide me; Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there. Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me, the light around me will soon be turned to night,” You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes. For You the night is just as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes.” Psalm 139:10-12 (Voice)

I have to trust the One who sees everything to guide me. The One who, whether it is dark or light, sees where I am going, and surrounds me. It is less about seeing clearly where I am going, and more about trusting the One who is guiding me.

REJOICE IN THE PROTECTION

I wonder sometimes what I didn’t see when I was walking to the latrine, or the water spigot, or to my neighbor’s house down the road after dark.  Even with the flashlight I only saw what was lit by the flashlight or candle. I saw what I needed to see in that moment. Sometimes I wonder what all I didn’t see. Men went spear fishing in the river and hunting in the bush in the middle of the night. For a period of time, there was a jaguar that was coming into the village and stealing chickens and pigs from my neighbors pens. Can you imagine if I had seen it all? Every tarantula, person, snake, rat, jaguar... everything that could possibly have crossed my path? Ugh, I never would have stepped out of my house.

STEP BY STEP WE MOVE FORWARD

So let’s back up to the word for the year.  I’m not sure what yours is, but mine is something related to anticipation (which is actually kind of funny considering it implies some sort of unknown is involved, I think I just found my word).  What if God revealed today everything we were going to experience or learn throughout the year related to our words in one moment? Would it feel kind of like stepping out of my house in the village if every creature was illuminated?

I am going to pray we can rejoice in taking today’s steps today, and patiently trust God to reveal tomorrow’s steps tomorrow.  Even if they are wobbly and taken at the pace of a sloth.

Thanks for stopping by today. Let us know what word you are walking towards in a comment below, or at the FACETS Facebook Page. We’d love to hear from you!