Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

What don’t you know that could hurt you?

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This month we’re looking at protection provided to us when we recognize the truth, rather than hide in darkness and denial. When we’re too afraid to face truth, the hidden things can (and do) hurt us. We’re honored here at Facets of Faith to have Donna Wright share a personal and vulnerable piece of her story. We pray God uses it powerfully in your life as you read it, or in the life of someone you know and love as you share it with him or her. Thank you, Donna, for your contribution to this month’s topic. More importantly, thank you for your courage to share. We know God will honor your bravery and bless you. We also know He will use your piece to minister to His kids’ hearts and minds. Without further ado, here’s Donna’s story.

Have you ever wondered how what you don’t know could hurt you?  I have. I was recently asked that very question to write this article for Facets of Faith. So I began to pray about it and ask God what was that something I don’t know that could hurt me? I thought during this time of so many people committing suicide, not knowing the truth was something that could hurt you.

What You Don't Know (yellow), GuestAll my life, almost 60 years, I have battled with this thought in my head that I am unworthy. I am no good. I do not belong here. No one cares whether I live or die. If I had chosen to believe this about myself, I would not be here today.  I would have taken my life when these thoughts started to attack my brain around the time I turned 13.

I met fear when I was just a small child. I do not know the exact date and time, just that I grew up with a daddy that drank too much alcohol. A daddy that came home late at night and yelled and screamed and beat my mommy.  My child’s heart disappeared before I was ten years old. I accepted a responsibility that was not mine to take on. I had to be the protector of my little brother and sister as we huddled together in our bed and listened to the drunken rages of a man who terrorized us night after night.

This fear has stayed a close friend most of my life. When I first heard the song Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams, I praised God because that song describes the truth about fear.

God says in His word “Do not be afraid” or “Fear not” 103 times in the King James Version. This means to me that this is a truth. This truth triumphs over whatever fear has to say to me. So as I pondered this thought more and thought about my life and how it was, I learned “The Truth” around age 21. I was battling fear of the future─what and who I would become. I feared no one loved me, no one cared, and I had no hope.  There was no point in going on. Yet “The Truth” would not let me go on in unbelief. The Lord sent a couple to my house who shared their story with me, how they had met the Lord Jesus Christ, how He loved them, and how He died on a cross just for them.  He provided a hope and a future I could believe in─if only I would ask Him to come into my life and forgive me.

That very night I prayed to a God I had heard about in Sunday school, a God who a pastor dedicated me to when I was an infant, a God who declares in His word He would “never leave me nor forsake me” Deuteronomy 31:6  I made a choice that night to listen to a new voice, not the one of fear anymore, but the word of God. Had I not chosen that night to follow Jesus and instead chosen to follow fear, I would have taken my life right then and there. End of the story!

However, I did not let fear win that night. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I praise God for His Son who died on a cross for each of us so that “The Truth” now lives in me. By giving access to Jesus, He gave the Holy Spirit to live in me. I am never alone.  I no longer fight the battle against fear alone. I have the Holy Spirit who tells me I am victorious. No matter what fear has to say, no matter what the circumstances, I now belong to Jesus Christ.

My story continues, I went on in life to get married, have three children and now have grandchildren.  The story of my life has not been easy or pleasant at times. God does not promise that we will not have trials and tribulations in life, but that we will for His sake.   In Isaiah 40:31 “But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.” 

I am so grateful to our God that I learned the truth.  I pray for all our youth and for those who have not found this truth. The Lord brings workers into the field for the harvest is ripe. We need to share with everyone there is hope for a future, and life is worth living. Fear lurks trying to take as many people as it can, telling men, woman and children there is no hope. Fear tells them they are unworthy to be on this earth, there is a better way if they die. I am here to tell you that is a LIE. Fear is a liar! There is always hope. There is always acceptance. There is always love in God the Father of us all! John 14:6 Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me.

Join the conversation over at Facets of Faith. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Who Do You Love?

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Don’t instantly check out as you see our topic at FACETS this month. Yes, it’s about love. But perhaps God wants to speak something new to your heart through the words He has given Kim, Jennifer or myself. And you’ll definitely want to see what my friend Zolei shares on the topic of love in week four!

February. The month of love. But what if we aren’t in the mood? Sometimes that’s the case. Right? We know we should love, but we just don’t want to. We know we might be missing out, but we might avoid the muddy mess of it all too.

Who do you love?

Do you even want to? Or are you sick of trying? Maybe all you want to do is snuggle up with your dog. Show me an animal lover and you may see someone who’s been deeply hurt and finds it difficult to trust humans. (I may know a thing or two about that.)

Let’s face it. Love can be stickier than cotton candy. Love can melt our heart faster than chocolates left in the car on a hot summer day. Love can be messy! Love can leave a stain that makes us think to ourselves, “Perhaps it’s easier to just steer clear.”

Maybe your line sounds something more like this, “I’ll just deal with this empty, dry, loveless relationship until death do us part. I’ll endure it, but I won’t enjoy it.”

Friendships that sour and leave a bitter taste in our mouth. Loves lost, but not before first leaving us scarred. And scared. Familial love that didn’t look like it does in the bedtime stories of children safely nestled in their beds, mama and papa tucking them in before the child drifts off in dreamy slumber.

Love is not always easy. Love is more likely almost always hard. Love is work. Love isn’t the stuff of romantic comedies or fairy tales. Love is the stuff of in the trenches digging in and doing what’s right.  And getting up the next day and putting loving well on repeat, not missing a beat. When we get it wrong? Fess up! Ask for forgiveness. A – pol- o – gize

Love is leaning in with intention. Love isn’t leaving when the going gets tough. I didn’t always know that.

My hope and prayer for everyone who finds this blog is that you realize while love isn’t easy, it’s possible and even necessary. Please, please don’t close yourself off to the idea of love. It’s not too lofty for anyone.  It’s not too late.

Hope for authentic love is not lost. Whether that love you so desperately desire is for a partner, a friend, a child, a parent, or someone else, love is possible for you.  But it will take some work on your part. I’ve done some work in that area myself.

But lean in to hear this…

It was worth it!

The hard work was absolutely worth it! I’ve walked through some love land mines. I could have been blown to bits, but I’m here. Still breathing. And smiling. Most days, heart full. And when it’s not, I run to Jesus and let Him fill me with His love, so I can operate from a place of confident boldness. I am loved.

I am loved! Which makes me able to love!

You are loved! Which makes you able to love!

If you haven’t received Christ as your Lord and Savior, you are loved!

But!

But you don’t have access to His power and ability to love others well. It’s only when we accept Jesus into our hearts that we are given the Holy Spirit (God in us). We don’t have strength to love the difficult people in our own power, but in God’s we can.

And you aren’t in your pursuit of love alone. God is love. God desires love for all His children. We were made to love, because we were made in His image.

If you want to receive Jesus into your heart, pray a simple prayer of surrender. “Jesus, I want to know You and Your love. I want to know how to love others well. I want and need Your power to do so. I give You my heart. Please help me to receive Your love and guidance for my life. Help me always to remain in Your love, power, and soundness of mind. Help me to be bold in my faith and in my love for You, myself, and others. Give me confidence and the ability to overcome my fears. In Jesus’ name, amen!”

Most of us are probably very familiar with the greatest commandments to love God and love others as ourselves. (See Matthew 22:36-39)  Love coded into our DNA by design. When we go against love, we go against the grain of God’s plan for each of our lives. If we resist love, we resist God Himself.

By the way, one can be IN a relationship but not act in a loving way. I know we are all aware of this, but it’s worth mentioning. Just because we are partnered up with someone romantically or just because we are in a friendship with someone, doesn’t mean we are in a love relationship with them.

We can treat our friends less than loving. We can be unloving to our spouse. We can show our worst side to those closest to us as we show our sparkly, shiny selves to those further off in the distance.

I’ve been in ministry long enough to see, one never knows what goes on behind closed doors.  If that’s you, sitting behind a door that you’d be completely embarrassed if someone peered behind and saw what really goes on… love is not too late for you either. Promise! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Redemption ALWAYS is!

No relationship. No disillusioned love is beyond hope. Hearts still beating? Hope’s still lingering!  If there are old wounds to clean up, do so. It might be more work than if you were a newlywed, but God will help you. HE IS BIG ENOUGH! Don’t give up! Don’t throw in the towel when God is fully capable of cleaning up any mess we make!

Bounty may be the quicker picker upper, but God is the master cleanser and restorer. He not only cleans up. He makes new. Somehow better than when we first began if only we’ll hand our mess over to Him, and follow His lead as He helps us love well.

How do I know?

He’s done it for me! And He does it for me! (Because it’s a daily thing.)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.─2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

Some of you may know my story, that I was married before – and lost everything. Everything. But in the losing of─well─my life, I gained everything.

The gain was instant and gradual all at once. I was flooded with God’s love. A love so genuine, sweet, and authentic that it felt foreign – false almost. You know. Too good to be true. Only thing is … it wasn’t. God was (and is) good for His word. That felt foreign. Someone I could trust. But I could. And I can.

In the beginning I was terrified to trust God, or anyone else. I’d always trusted myself – trust your gut – until you find out that’s not the most reliable source.

I was so afraid to love, I almost lost it!

FEAR LIMITS LOVE

My fear of getting hurt by another human almost left my heart walled off from receiving a sweet gift from God. I have been gifted a wonderful second chance in a godly marriage.

But it almost didn’t happen.

Almost seven years down the line, I’m glad it did! And I’m so glad God understood my fear (and its source) and in His mercy and goodness made His plan for my life abundantly clear.

The Scripture above says God didn’t give us a spirit of fear.

Fear is from the enemy who wants to keep us isolated and alone. Love is from God. He is the source of our love. He gives us the power to love, on the days when it’s easy. And on the days when love takes work.  Real life is made up of both.

Sometimes we can’t love in our own power. Those people that grate on our very last nerve. Like nails on a chalk board. The ones that aren’t easy to love are still lovable in God’s sight. Who do you love? You love them too!

That’s the kind of love we can’t do in our own power. That’s supernatural love.

Our scripture goes on to say God gives us a spirit of power. His power. We’re not in the business of loving the prickly ones in our own power, but His! I may have muttered quietly in my head a time or two, “Help me love this one well, Lord. Because if it’s up to me …. well, I’m pretty sure I’m going to blow it!”

An excerpt from the Message 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.”

“God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.”

When’s the last time you thought of love as being sensible? A gift? Perhaps. Bold? Sure. Sensible? Huh?

Sensible love is a gift.

Long after the adrenaline subsides and relationships settle into pleasant companionship, relationships of genuine concern, love roots in sensible plots of land. Flowers bloom from season to season. Soil fertilized well. Relationships fortified. Forged strong from some rough patches weathered well together. Fragrant blooms of fresh cut flowers still … because love and life aren’t assumed but invested in.

Who do I love?

I love God. I love others. I love myself, because not doing so is a form of insecurity and pride that is rooted so deep in fear that can strangle out love’s possibility for growth.

And I want love to grow.

So I’ll weed and water, preparing the soil of my heart to be ready to give and receive love.

In God’s power as we love others, we are not only giving gifts. We are receiving them too.  For almost certainly what we plant, we will harvest. The more love we plant and nurture, the more love will grow, and the more we will receive. Pressed down. Full to overflowing.

I pray bushel baskets of love filled to capacity for you, sweet friend! I pray you are able to access God’s power (because it’s there for the asking) to love others well. And I pray when you do the hard work of loving others well, you see a bountiful harvest. And if you’ve been deeply hurt and are afraid to love, really love, that you are given a boldness and discernment from God to know who to trust with your heart. I pray God gives you spiritual eyes to see who will love you well. (Because God showed me and He was oh-so-right!) In Jesus’ name, amen!

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Can I Trust God with My Fear?

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This month, I (Tracy) get to share with our FACETS readers one of my favorite people. Meet my friend Megan. She is kind, humble, and attentive and attuned to God’s leading. One of the things I love most about her is her willingness to be brave, in spite of fear, obediently stepping into what God has for her. I have been blessed to know her, and I’d love to pass that blessing on to you, our readers.  Praying you will bravely step through any residual fear in your lives, as you read and are encouraged by Megan’s story.

Fear has been present in many different forms throughout my life. When I was 3 it was anyone (and I mean anyone) who would say “hi” to me. I would hide behind my mom and cry until they went away. My older brother was the opposite. He loved to yell “hi!” to all we passed and then loudly comment how rude they were when they didn’t respond. We were quite the pair.

As I grew up, though, the fears I faced slowly changed form to things like grades, the idea of perpetual singleness, “what if they knew”, back surgery and, sadly, leading worship. So, when I was asked to write in response to Can I trust God when I’m afraid?, it seemed rather appropriate given my long list. It also, though, led to many pages of scribbled words, songs, scriptures and generally incoherent thoughts as I tried to piece together where God was leading. My brain screamed “YES! Of course you can trust God!”, my heart right there behind it wanting so badly to agree, but my actions – they expose the truth.

The truth is, my fear is often much bigger than my trust.

I never thought of myself as a fearful person, even with all the previous listed items. The day someone asked me to help sing with the worship band and my prayers to God didn’t seem to be leading me away from it, was when I came to terms with my unreasonable and unexplainable fear. Standing with a microphone my heart races.   My voice quivers.  All I have practiced slips away. What remains is my doubt and an overwhelming fear. I hear every shaky note magnified by the microphone, hands trembling. Why can I worship freely, joyfully and confidently until someone hands me this silly microphone? It is as if every insecurity and fear I have ever felt chooses that moment to come up to the surface, leaving me incredibly vulnerable, blocking the praises of my heart.

There is something about being vulnerable –exposed, admitting you are imperfect, opening up to rejection.  It is terrifying. It leaves me wanting to be just vulnerable enough I appear real and relatable, while hiding just enough I don’t really have to fear rejection or judgement. “What if they actually knew the real me? All of me?” I want to control my vulnerability, and the response of others. In these moments, my fear is much bigger than my trust.

So, can I trust God in these moments of fear? If I let go of my control, my pride, and my expectations and trust God with all my fears, then what am I left with?

Him.

I am left with my Heavenly Father. My Father who knows me, knows every thought, every fear, and He walks right beside me through all of them – never leaving me. He sees where I am today and he sees me on the other side, already victorious.

This is illustrated well in the story from Matthew 14 where Jesus sent His disciples ahead of Him, across the lake and said He would meet them there. He went up the hills alone to pray, and as night fell, He started walking across the water to meet them. Meanwhile, the disciples were in the boat in the middle of the lake fighting through stormy waves. They were terrified! Then, along comes Jesus, walking by them on the water and His disciples cried out in fear. Jesus said, “Do not be afraid. Take courage. I am here.”

Did Jesus send them out alone into a storm to battle on their own and just show up when He no longer thought they could handle it themselves? I don’t think so. He was asking them to trust Him.

When the disciples saw Jesus walking on water, Peter called out to Him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” Peter was able to walk towards Jesus on the water until he let himself look back to the storm, was overcome with fear and began to sink.

When Peter called out for help, Jesus immediately reached out to grab him. He didn’t let him drown. Jesus climbed into the boat with them, and His presence stopped the storm.

When Peter’s eyes were focused on Jesus, trusting Jesus, his storm was calmed (and he walked on water!). It was only when he allowed himself to look away he began to fear. Trusting in Jesus overpowered his fear.

I can trust God with my fear, because He is more powerful than my fear. While my fear may come and go, when I cry out to the Lord “Help!” and I focus my eyes on Him, my fear has no power over me. He will not let me drown.

Take reassurance from God’s message to the Israelites, His chosen people, in Isaiah 41:10 (NLT):

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Trust the Lord with your fear, He sees your victory.

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