Freedom Archives – Page 2 of 5

How Does God Respond to Me?

10.09.2019 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith where we hope and pray you encounter God across these pages. It is our team’s desire that we hear God’s heart & themes for all who read the words He gives us. Any errors are always ours. The truth and love that come through? Those are God’s for His glory. He does good work in each of us. We pray these pages are part of that. Check back each week to see what God inspires the rest of our team to write.

Have you ever wondered what God thinks about you? You are very much on His mind. You are on His heart too. We all are. His awareness of us is broad and global, but specific and intimate as well. He cares about the whole world even as He cares about our unique place in it.

He loves us on our good days. He loves us on our bad ones. His desire is to meet us in both.

God knows we are good, but He also knows we are sinners in need of His saving grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). He’s not surprised by us, by who He’s getting. God meets us in the middle of our mess (and believe me, we all have a bit of mess inside us).

Last month I wrote about freedom. That’s the place God desires to bring us all to, but what He revealed to me is it’s not a destination. God showed me it’s who I am. It’s who He desires us all to be: freedom at the very core of who we are as a child of God.

With freedom in mind, how does God respond to us?

God responds to us with love.

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.─Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT

God demonstrated His love for us before we were ever born. Christ died for us while we were still sinners.

Jesus’ sacrifice was pleasing to God. His death led to the opportunity for our salvation. He was willing to die so that we wouldn’t have to be separated from God because of our sin.

Love sacrifices.

When we love someone, we want to spend time with them. God wants that with us for all eternity, so he demonstrated His love for us. Love wasn’t (and isn’t) just a feeling. Love is action demonstrated for us to see, to experience.

God responded to our sin with His sacrificial love. He still does.

God’s demonstration of love wasn’t only before we were born. It’s for now. Today. Tomorrow. Forever.

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.─Ephesians 3:17-19 NLT

If I were to share all the ways in which I have experienced God’s love, there wouldn’t be time or space to capture its evidence. I see His love in so many ways. Answered prayer. A song with lyrics that speak to my soul. Favor with someone I wouldn’t otherwise possess. God’s Word ministering to me, jumping off the page and into my heart. Through people who follow hard after Jesus and love others well. Being entrusted by God to serve others. For the lessons He teaches and the places He leads. God’s love plays out before us, we just need to open our spiritual eyes to see. His love is too great for us to fully understand, but He is faithful to show us His love, to help us EXPERIENCE His love. I pray you do. It’s a pillar of faith we absolutely must grasp, because when we really believe God loves us, our lives are transformed forever.

We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

God responds to us with joy.

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. ─Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

God rejoices over us with joyful songs.

Think about that.

Imagine God rejoicing over you.

Imagine Him singing, singing because you were born.

Treasure that up in your heart, because it’s true.

Music is important. It creates a strong neural path to memories.

I can hear a song from younger years and be back in that moment. I know all the lyrics, even if I haven’t heard them in years. I see. I smell. I taste. I hear. I feel. I am there, wherever I most associate that music with. Song and memory stitched together in my brain. I’m sure that happens for you too.

Now think of God rejoicing over you in song. He knows the lyrics you need on any given day, the words to encourage, inspire, correct, and reveal His love. He’s stitching the memory on our hearts of His love for us through the power of a lyric.

When a song touches your heart, know that it is God’s tenderness reaching for you.

Awhile ago I incorporated listening to a worship song each morning during my quiet time. I can’t tell you how frequently the song is the exact one I needed to hear that very morning. Whether I’m celebrating, lamenting, pondering, or filled with gratitude, inevitably God plays the song that matches what is needed in the moment.

As He does, I think of Zephaniah 3:17 and know that it is Him singing over me.

He rejoices over us, and when the reality of that truth sinks into our soul, it changes us. There’s a song lyric coming to my mind even now…. “Who are we that He should be mindful of us?”

We are His children, the ones He joyously sings over.

God responds to us with peace.

The LORD gives his people strength. The LORD blesses them with peace. ─Psalm 29:11 NLT

If you read the entirety of Psalm 29, you’ll notice a couple themes: honor and the power of God’s voice. God’s voice changes us. His instruction leads us on a transformation journey. As we grow in our ability to honor God, He blesses us with peace. Truly, it’s supernatural sometimes.

When I was mired down in sin, I didn’t feel peace. A good word for the emotional tumult I endured as a non-Christian is torment. Outwardly, it might not manifest, but the inner caverns of my heart lamented. The tumult might manifest for some as inner torture. For others, it might be fear or anxiety. Still others the dissatisfaction might rear its head through addictions used to mask the pain that lies within a weary soul.

But God’s powerful voice beckons like a beacon of light keeping ships safe from careening into rocky cliffs. His powerful voice guides us to safety. He helps us rest in His perfect peace as we honor Him. Obedience is one way to do that. When God directs me to change behavior, to turn away from sin, He is after peace for a woman’s weary soul. Sin encumbers. It strangles the possibilities God has for us as sons and daughters until He cuts us loose from the behaviors that hinder us from walking in the goodness and stillness of God’s peace.

As we sit in peace it can feel uncomfortable at first, foreign even. My previous rhythms used to be so accustomed to chaos I had to grow used to peace. As I began to rest in peace, I felt myself able to take a deep breath, to see God with greater clarity. And the more I see, the more I want to honor Him.

I think when one has had a particularly bumpy past, peace is recognized for the very precious gift it is.

When we walk in obedience to the LORD and honor Him, He responds to us with His bountiful peace.

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. ─Colossians 3:15 NLT

God calls us to live in peace. As a child of God, we can because His peace rules our hearts. Live in peace and be thankful you can because His promises say so. When we need help remembering, pull this scripture out and pray it. God, please help me remember that my peace comes from You. Help me to live in peace as you rule my heart. In Jesus name, amen!

God responds to us with patience.

And remember, our Lord’s patience gives people time to be saved. ─2 Peter 3:15a NLT

It’s a really good thing that none of us is judge and jury over what mercy looks like or the timeline for another’s transformation journey. God responds to every one of us with His patience. Time and again we test Him, even those of us who truly desire to walk in His ways. We don’t always do what He wants when He wants us to, even when it’s our desire. He’s patient and persistent to save us. Salvation, yes, of course. But also as He walks along side us, helping us deal with hurts, wounds, hopes, dreams, plans & purposes.

When we’re afraid, He patiently responds.

When we’re resistant to change, He patiently responds.

When we go our own way, He waits patiently for us to return.

He’s patient in His pursuit. He’s patient in His correction. Both happen, but He is long suffering.

We can see a person’s trajectory and think, “Why do they still do that?” We want the bad behavior to stop, not tomorrow, not ten minutes from now. Today.

Not willing to wait because our society keeps teaching us to be less and less patient. Instant gratification.

Not God. God isn’t interested in instant gratification. He’s interested in the good and perfect gifts He has for us, but in His patient, loving way He gives us time and emotional space to open them.

When we don’t? He’ll keep bringing those gifts of transformation back around to us.

Remember this My sweet one? We still need to take it out of the box and look at it. Are you ready yet? It’s time. Let’s glance at it. We can take baby steps. I will be patient. But I don’t want you to miss the sweet treasure this transformation will bring to you.

That’s His patient voice encouraging us. He’s always ready to help, and He’ll help us to get there one baby step at a time if necessary.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with a tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ─Colossians 3:12 NLT

God responds to us with kindness.

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But─When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. ─Titus 3:3-5 NLT

Like a rainy day when the fog lifts, God reveals his kindness and love. When we were mired down in sinful, foolish, disobedient lives, He saw what we could be even as He washed away our sins. Because He responded to us with kindness, we could hear what He had to say. Mercy gets a sinner’s attention. Kindness creates a spiritual curiosity. Anyone can harshly judge. I’ve seen it. I’ve done it. But not God.

Don’t get me wrong, He’s not a pushover and He’s not condoning our sin.

What I am saying is He understands each of our stories. He knows how we ended up on our own well-worn sinful paths. My sin might look different than yours, but we both have a path that we’ve taken that leads us away from God’s best plan for our lives. His desire is to kindly help us out of those sinful paths.

His kindness gifts us with a new birth and a new life. The Holy Spirit helps us walk not as fools, but as ones filled with God’s wisdom.

We don’t have all the answers. We don’t have all the power to walk in righteousness. But we know the God who reveals His kindness and love to us. In His kindness He no longer desires for us to be misled as slaves to the power of darkness. In Christ’s power we overcome.

Think about the teacher, coach, parent, or manager who gave you healthy feedback to help you grow. Those who were kind in their delivery were probably most helpful. When a voice is harsh and critical, it’s hard to change. I think because we know we can’t please that voice. Truth be told, if it’s harsh & critical, it’s not of God. Harsh & critical words have their root in the enemy as their source. Kind words of love and correction, those are God’s. You can please His voice. You already do.

God responds to us with goodness.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever. ─Psalm 23:6 NLT

God responds to us with His goodness, even when we don’t see it. His goodness is there guiding us beside still waters. His goodness renews our strength. His goodness guides us along right paths. His goodness gives us rest. His goodness causes us to walk in courage and hope, protection and comfort, honor and anointing. (See Psalm 23)

We couldn’t be good enough to deserve all of God’s goodness.

Sometimes, life’s challenges don’t feel good, I’ll admit. However, even in the midst of difficult days, God’s goodness is real, relevant, and in pursuit of us.

It can take every measure of restraint I have not to react to someone else’s sin. In my own power, I can’t. My sin would kick in and I’d likely give a piece of my mind. I’m human.

But God’s goodness also says, “I’m His.”

And because that’s true, I can abide in His goodness and He can help me embody it to others. Imperfectly, certainly. But better than I would have if His goodness stopped pursuing me.

God’s goodness pursues us all the days of our lives.

I don’t know about you, but I believe this world needs a lot more goodness in it. Wouldn’t it be great if we all could be a part of that? Good news is …. we can! As our hearts long for goodness, I’m reminded we won’t get the fullness of that until we are in heaven where sin is locked out and barred for all eternity.

Until then, we can leave wafts of God’s goodness wherever we go as we walk in His.

God responds to us with gentleness.

Let my teaching fall on you like rain; let my speech settle like dew. Let my words fall like rain on tender grass, like gentle showers on young plants. ─Deuteronomy 32:2 NLT

When we need to learn His ways, God teaches us in His gentleness.

Have you ever been caught in a heavy downpour? The rain pummels hard against your skin like needles. The skies open and water pours out like a bursting dam.

Water is powerful. It can remove everything in its wake. Sometimes it does.

God doesn’t want to catch us in a tidal wave of teaching that causes us to become overwhelmed, where nothing sinks in.

Contrast a bursting dam with water from a watering can meant to help our plants flourish and thrive. That is the stream that God wants us to stand within, His trickles of blessing.

He is tender with us, like gentle showers on young plants. He teaches us one drop at a time when necessary. He knows He’s helping our roots to grow deep.

They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do. ─Psalm 1:3 NLT

God responds to us with faithfulness.

The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” ─Lamentations 3:22-24 NLT

When we can’t or don’t see what God has for us in a moment, in a day, in years, He responds to us with His faithfulness. His mercy pursues us afresh each morning. That’s so reassuring to those of us who sometimes blow it. There’s a new day for us to respond to God’s faithfulness with our own. Out of His faithfulness, He births ours. It’s a beautiful thing.

When we grasp how truly faithful God is, we obey faster. Our response time shortens; our bold steps extend. Why? Because we can trust in a Faithful Father whose love NEVER ENDS. He’s not going to let us down.

He is merciful; His mercies never cease. In the words of Buzz Lightyear, “To infinity and beyond!”

Because He is faithful, He grows our ability to see Him more and more through eyes of faith. When we lean in a little, He pulls us close.

I think back to my early walk with the LORD when the word was alive, popping off the page, where it seemed like the verses were there just for me….to speak to my heart, resuscitating it, me, back to life. They were there faithfully waiting for me, for when the Lord knew I’d be ready. To come alive.

I think back to yesterday when the word was alive, popping off the page, breathing fresh strength into my spiritual bones.

God is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow.

What is faithfulness? I define it as when you know you can count on someone.

We can count on God. He is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8).

He is faithful and that should define the footsteps we take. Grasp hold of His hand. He knows where He desires to lead you. Let Him.

For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ.─John 1:17 NLT

The law has its purpose: to show us our need for Jesus. But it’s God’s unfailing love and faithfulness through Christ Jesus that changes the course of lives – yours and mine.

God responds to us with self-control.

God responded to the people who nailed Him to the cross with great self-control. Our sin is part of that equation. We aren’t innocent, but neither are we condemned because Christ died for the forgiveness of our sin. His death and resurrection sealed our fate. When we say “yes” to Him, we are His for all eternity. His self-control saved us. His self-control saved the world.

In the words of the commentator,

(Christ’s death on the cross) is a sublime example of patience. It rebukes our softness and intolerance of pain. How easily we are made to cry out; how peevish and ill-tempered we become under slight annoyances! A headache, a toothache, a cold, or some other slight affair, is supposed to be a sufficient justification for losing all self-control and making a whole household uncomfortable. Suffering does not always sanctify. It sours some tempers and makes them selfish and exacting. This is the besetting sin of invalids – to become absorbed in their own miseries and to make all about them the slaves….But there is another lesson besides patience in this word of Christ. He only uttered one word of physical pain; but He did utter one. His self-control was not proud or sullen. … Jesus was surrounded by those who had wantonly wronged Him; not only had they inflicted pain, but they had laughed and mocked at His sufferings. …Shamefully as He had been treated by those to whom He had to appeal, He believed that there might still be some remains of goodness at the bottom of their hearts. All His life He had been wont to discover more good in the worst than others believed to exist, and to the last He remained true to His own faith. The maxim of the world is to take all men for rogues till the reverse has been proved. Especially when people have enemies, they believe the own very worst of them and paint their characters without a single streak of any colour but black. To those from whom we differ in opinion we attribute the basest motives and refuse to hear any good of them. But this is not the way of Christ: He believed there were some drops of the milk of human kindness even in the hard-hearted Roman soldiers; and He was not disappointed.1

Let that sink in for a moment. We all need to absorb those words. But this is not the way of Christ. He sees the drops of milk of human kindness in the hard-hearted you and me, and yet He’s not disappointed.

He exhibits great self-control. If not, He would have judged the world already. Instead, His mercy waits. He waits for each one of us.

And then there is us, often impatient wondering, “When God when?”

Under pressure and persecution we ask, “Why God why?

God’s desire is to teach us through the trials of our lives. He may not always be the Author of the setbacks and situations we’d rather not have to endure. Satan does come to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), but God will always use the trials of this life to shape us to look more like Christ.

God will take what was meant for our harm and work it for our good (Romans 8:28).

I’ve had to stand in the face of false accusations and harsh criticisms. It’s not easy. But sometimes that’s exactly what God asks of us. That’s hard, but the sometimes harder thing is to not view that person as an enemy. They’re not. Satan is our enemy. God wants us to see each person, all of humanity, through His eyes of love.

Sometimes I’ve done this well. Other times I’ve flopped. That’s one of the reasons why the good news is so good. His mercies are fresh and new each day to help us try again.

So prepare your minds for action and exercise self control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. ─1 Peter 4:13 NLT

Does that sound hard to you? I know! Right? But here’s the thing: God doesn’t leave us on our own. In His response to us, He shows us how to embody the characteristics of God. Not only does He show us how, His Holy Spirit helps us produce these traits.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. ─Galatians 5:22-24 NLT

For those of us who belong to Christ, envision the cross. Imagine Christ’s self-control. Let the Holy Spirit help us produce the good fruit God has placed within each of us. When we choose to act with self-control, we can respond to others as Christ responds to us: with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness.

Let our response to others grow to look more like Christ’s each day.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1The Fifth Word from the Cross, biblehub.com/library/stalker/the_trial_and_death_of_jesus_christ/chapter_xviii_the_fifth_word.htm#1.

Who do You say I am?

09.10.2019 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to Facets of Faith! We pray you meet God across the pages of this blog, and His message reaches each person as He intends. We pray you experience God, that His message is always what is heard in love and truth that delivers freedom, beauty and boldness, in each of us – whether reader, writer, or both. Check back each week to see what else God has to share with us on this topic. He has many vantage points. It’s important we see each as He reveals His heart to us.

Who do You say I am? I suppose there could be several responses to that question. However, one message rises to the surface like a diver who comes up out of the deep, dark water to breathe salty fresh air. Breathe deep into lungs screaming for oxygen before you fill them with the freshness of freedom. Breath. Air. Life. Vital and above the surface. That’s where freedom lies too. Above the surface and in the truth.

God says I am freedom. I am freedom for me, and I am freedom for others. Let me explain.

So many of us walk around subconsciously holding our breath, conforming even when we might wish to go our own way. Trying to fit in, wondering if we ever will. Oh, we might not share those thoughts with the world at large, but inner insecurities whisper and taunt.

“Not good enough.”

“They don’t really like you.”

“You don’t fit in.”

“You’re not one of ‘them’ and you never will be.”

“There’s no hope for you. Your future is futile.”

Or whatever other flavor of lie the enemy is serving up that day. “Not good enough” was probably one of his favorites for me.

Those were the words the enemy used to taunt me, day in and day out. He knew my vulnerabilities, and he wasn’t above using them against me. But God has been doing a good work in my life for quite some time now. He doesn’t just bring me freedom. He says freedom DEFINES me. Freedom is who I am. That truth is a game changer my friends!

Recently, my husband Sam had to endure an hour long + car ride with me to Wheaton. We were in route to an intimate gathering among people I mostly didn’t know. These were probably smart theologian types. After all we were going to Wheaton. Billy Graham attended Wheaton Bible College, don’t ya know? The plan was to meet the author of a marriage book, listen to a talk, and the nemesis to a person like me who is better one on one than in a non-structured group setting … informal mixing. Ugh!

Give me a girlfriend one on one and I am good. More than good. That’s my sweet spot. But group settings without structure? Torture! Pure torture!

Or at least those settings used to be. God’s bringing me into the light of His truth: Freedom. Unfortunately, my husband had to endure my lesson our entire car ride to Wheaton.

Tap. Tap. Tap on Sam’s arm.

Me – motioning from head to toe and in my most sassy voice – “This is what freedom looks like.”

Tap. Tap. Tap on Sam’s arm.

Me – motioning from head to toe and in my most sassy voice – “This is what freedom looks like.”

Tap. Tap. Tap on Sam’s arm.

Me – motioning from head to toe and in my most sassy voice – “This is what freedom looks like.”

Over and over (I’m not even sure how many times Sam had to listen to that sassy soundtrack). He signed up for it when he chose me as his wife. He is stuck with me for life! That there is some freedom to put on your sassy hat, my friends. Poor guy. Lucky me,

Why was that a message of freedom?

Well, I think partly I needed to remind myself to just be me. God made me. And He made me good (not perfect, but good).

One of the most telling truths that I am freedom came from what I didn’t do, rather than what I did.

I didn’t feel like getting dressed up. I didn’t feel like trying to dress a certain way to fit in with the rest of the group. How we dress can be used as armor. I’ve done that before. I love fashion, so it’s not always about armor —but sometimes how I dressed was absolutely about armor. I “grew up” in corporate America in the late 80’s and 90’s and beyond. Those early days were all about the power suit. That mentality can be tough to set aside.

But now that I am freedom, I wore my black jeans and grabbed my zip up sweatshirt (not even a cute cardigan, ladies)!

It wasn’t that I didn’t care about the presenter. It wasn’t that I was trying to be, well, anything other than myself in that moment. I promise, there will be plenty of moments when I want to get all girly with skirts, jewelry, and sparkly things. Sunday night just wasn’t one of them.

The freedom came because I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. There was no need to do that. None!

There will be people who “get me”. There will be people who won’t. That’s okay.

There will be people who “get you”. There will be people who won’t. That’s okay. You be you anyhow! You be freedom.

For freedom Christ freed us. Stand fast therefore and do not be entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”─Galatians 5:1 MEV

Freedom doesn’t mean reckless abandon, do what I want, narcissistic behavior. The world has enough of that. The world is entangled in that. Sinful choices are bondage. They hurt us. They hurt others. That’s captivity – not freedom.

I have a plethora of examples even from my own life. Sin on whichever side of it you are sitting -the person doling out sinful behavior or on the receiving end of someone else’s sinful choices – is bondage. It hurts. We were never designed for sin. (See Genesis 1-3)

Christ died to free us. He died so I could be freedom. He died so you could be freedom.

What if we were that diver, delving in the ocean of life only to get snarled in seaweed and unable to escape? That entanglement would keep us where we are at and may eventually pull us under. That’s what sin does.

We do have free will. We get to choose. Just know when we choose sin, we aren’t choosing freedom for us or anyone around us.

Freedom wants us to break out our spiritual sword and cut through those entanglements of sin’s lies. There are all sorts of lies sin tells us.

When we say we’re not good, we’re saying God’s works aren’t good – that He’s somehow insufficient and unqualified to create beauty in each of us. That’s sin.

I bet you thought I might talk about addiction, adultery, stealing, lying. Yes, those are sin too. Those choices don’t lead to freedom either.

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead. use your freedom to serve one another in love.─Galatians 5:13 NLT

We shouldn’t use our freedom to satisfy our sinful nature. When we do, we hurt ourselves. When we do, we hurt others.

Freedom in God’s eyes is to serve one another in love. We need to love ourselves well in order to do that. We need to know who we are as God’s children. We are freedom. He died so we could be freedom. He longs for us to be free. He longs for those in our lives to be free.

When I think of all the unnecessary pain I caused myself and others from my sinful choices, I could lament and pull myself into the inky ocean of regret. But that doesn’t serve a good purpose and it doesn’t embody the freedom Christ died to give me, to define me as. We all have things we wish would have went differently in life.

Freedom takes those choices and learns from them.

Sam & I sat at the Wheaton gathering listening to the speaker share his thoughts on “Emotional Pain Words”. The author shared how God uses our marriage union (in part) to help each other heal. I agree. But what I noticed as I glanced through the list of emotional pain words is what God has done in my life. Instead of seeing emotional pain words I was experiencing, I saw what God delivered me from and who God has made me to be. Freedom.

As I scanned the extensive list of pain words, I wanted to write “BC” next to many of them. Before Christ these were experiences or false beliefs I’d possessed.

I saw my old self in many of the words. I used to believe these lies as truth about me. Things like, suicidal, not cherished, despair, controlled, dishonored, shamed, unwanted, and terrified. Truth be told, I used to be able to relate to almost all of the emotional pain words on the list.

But as I glanced through the words that used to define me. I allowed Gods new word to define me. Freedom!

I’m no longer any of those false beliefs. I’m me. Redeemed and made new, imperfect yet pure and righteous in God’s eyes. That doesn’t mean God and I still don’t need to work on some things, but believe me when I tell you, “Wow! He delivered me from much!”

I’m one if His daughters who knows who He is because He knew me first and He went out of His way to court me. It’s in His love that we experience His healing which leads to full freedom.

God teaches us how to live lives defined by freedom. Day in, day out, when we listen to Him, when we immerse ourselves in the truth of His Word, He points us to freedom.

I heard a message on Sunday I’d like to briefly share.

Before entering the Promised Land, twelve men were sent ahead to survey the land. Ten came back and only saw the insurmountable obstacle of an enemy they felt they couldn’t defeat. These ten saw themselves as grasshoppers. Small. Easy to defeat. Only Joshua and Caleb saw themselves as God had made them, able to conquer and overcome obstacles, able to defeat the enemy and enter into the Promised Land. The ten didn’t. The two did.

Which do we want to be?

Friend, I encourage you to choose freedom’s choice. Be the two who see all the beauty and potential God has placed within you. He is SO GOOD! And He creates REALLY GOOD things. You. Me.

God was leading the Israelites out of captivity and into the Promised Land. His mission is the same today. He’s leading us out of captivity and into the vast Promised Land of freedom.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.─2 Corinthians 3:17 HCSB

I pray you experience God’s presence and the infilling of His spirit in your heart. I pray we each let His Spirit guide us to the Promised Land called Freedom. I pray our identity embodies freedom.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. God says I am freedom. If you know Him, you are freedom too!

And if you don’t know Him, it’s simple. Day by day give God full access to your heart. He will help you. He will hold you. He will comfort you. He will teach you. You don’t have to do life by yourself. He is your Father. He is your Friend. If you give him permission to lead and guide your life, you’ll look back one day amazed at the beauty He has brought into your life. He brings us to a spacious place. A place where we can breathe life’s vitality. A place where we grow more and more free as we surrender to Him. It sounds impossible, but it’s absolutely true. The more we surrender, the more beautiful freedom He brings in our lives. He shows me things about me I never even knew. He brings new joys. He brings new hopes and vision. I pray you know and experience that too. It’s wonderful, sweet friend!

If you are ready for that measure of freedom and love, you can pray this prayer.

Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross to cover ALL my sin, so I can be COMPLETELY free. Please bring full freedom to me through Your saving grace. Thank You that I don’t have to muster up the will to change myself, but that You will change my heart and mind to align with Your thoughts, Your ways. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your peace. Please guide me each day through both: Your love and Your peace. I surrender my heart to You. I am choosing You out of my own free will so You can bring FULL freedom. In Jesus’ name, amen!

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you remain in My word, then you are truly My disciples. You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s seed and have never been in bondage to anyone. Why do You say, ‘You shall be set free’?”

Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave to sin. Now a slave does not remain in the house forever, but a son remains forever. Therefore, if the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed”.─John 8:31-36 MEV

You shall be free indeed!

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How Do We Grow in Intimacy?

07.02.2019 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith, sweet friends! Whether you are a new friend, or someone who has been with us on this journey for quite some time, I (Tracy) pray God meets you right where you are. It’s not by mistake God has brought you to these pages. I pray you feel God’s loving, warm embrace upon you as your eyes and heart absorb what He has for you.

Depending on your perspective, this topic might stir a host of emotion. You could be enthusiastic about the idea of intimacy.

If you’ve had tragedy in this area, you could be terrified at the mere mention of the word. Please don’t check out if that’s you. Hang in there. Let’s see what healing and restoration God desires to bring to your life. You are BRAVE, sweet one!

Perhaps you’re somewhere in the middle, a little indifferent to the thought of intimacy. Maybe you’re unaware there’s a snag in beliefs you have long held as truth. Maybe what you’ve believed for a lifetime isn’t what you once thought when you turn beliefs over and see what lies beneath.

Intimacy can be beautiful. Pure, sweet, love extended to our marital partner. The counterfeit, worldly version can leave us wanting more. Because there is more when we’re rooted and grounded in Christ’s love.

Truth be told, as we tossed out the idea of writing on this topic, some of the FACETS team was more than a little apprehensive. So, if that’s how you are feeling, know that you are not alone. There’s comfort in that thought, right?

For me personally, I embrace the idea of intimacy when it means intellectual connection, when it means experience of fun things together, but sexual intimacy stirs up a whole pot of feelings that, in some regard, my initial internal response is to run.

Life experience used to tell me men wanted one thing and my job was to give it to them. I deeply desired someone to love me, but struggled with the idea I was even worthy of love. The more years under my belt, the more deeply engrained those lies became. I grew to believe I was only as valuable as how I made the other person feel. And because I allowed my misguided attempts at love to guide my decisions, sadly, it was a self-fulfilling prophesy. Very often I attracted the wrong type of man, the one who only wanted to use me for what I could give him and then move on.

Not everyone in my life fell into that category, but many did.

This internal belief only served to create a deeper root of insecurity. I put a lot of pressure on myself to look a certain way, to do certain things – performance more than genuine, intimate connection.

If someone could have looked inside my heart, they would have seen a grieving young girl that grew into a grieving, love-starved woman. As years progressed, I became more and more broken. I became what I thought I was worth.

If we don’t value ourselves. No one else will either.

I also possessed a lot of self-sabotaging behaviors. It all came down to me feeling not good enough, so I’d engage in behaviors that were sure to prove my theory true.

At some point anger set in as well. I was mad about how I’d been treated, about the things certain people said or did. There were deep scars that served to scream at me. Unworthy! Unlovable! Not enough!

I was raped at a party and disassociated from the memory for a long time, even though I had attempted suicide because of that incident. There’s a cumulative effect of life’s trials. All the layers of mine had added up to despair. I was in a relationship with a “good guy”, but after the rape incident, my body and my mind couldn’t carry the weight of it all.

I sabotaged the relationship, because of the depths of depression I was sinking in. It was suffocating, and I wouldn’t have been able to even tell you why. Only my journals revealed the truth. Years later, when I read the words I’d written long before my eyes could handle reading them, I sighed a sigh of relief. Somehow, things began to make sense. Not crazy. Deeply wounded and in need of God’s loving, healing hands that never hurt. His embrace always sweet. Pure. Innocent. Love. Good intentions from the day He created you and me in our mother’s wombs.

Another journal from 3^rd grade revealed inappropriate adult attention from a neighbor. I wasn’t sure if my mind was making it up and reading too much into the words I saw in my “little girl” journal. I was able to verify through someone else who also spent a lot of time with this individual that he had done inappropriate things to us both. As sad as that made me feel for the little girl who used to be me, I was grateful for the puzzle piece to my story.

When we’re ready for the details, they can bring clarity and relief. These insights can’t be rushed or provoked. I believe it’s all in God’s good timing. He shows up as truth mixed with love when we have the capacity to see it, to process it without being undone because of it.

As part of my story, I had an abortion. The unknown trauma that decision caused me came to light a number of years ago (and decades after my decision) when God brought me through a healing journey. I received His forgiveness and was given the opportunity to grieve the loss of my child. I’m glad eternity is long. Time will give us the chance to get to know one another while worshipping Jesus together.

God is merciful to forgive repentant hearts from things we may think are beyond His reach. Even more beautiful? His grace takes our worst sin and works it together for our good. Sharing about my bad decision has helped others to make a good one. Each child’s life saved because sharing of story is a picture of God’s grace. It’s LAVISH, my friends!

Sex used to be my misguided attempt to give and receive love. I really had no concept of what genuine, sacrificial, Christ-shaped love looked like. I thought if I used my body to appeal to men they would love me. Instead, I was so often left feeling unloved and rejected (even if the relationship were longer). I came to believe my worth and value to a man was calculated by how I made him feel.

This and probably a scroll’s worth of sin I brought into my marriage.

My life has shaped me, but it doesn’t define me. Christ does! For you too. Nothing you have done, nothing that has been done to you, is beyond His redemption.

His blood covers my sin and shame. In fact, He blows those things to smithereens. It’s one of the reasons I’m genuinely grateful to God for what He has done in my life. His grace is the only reason I can write about my past without feeling condemned by it.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.─Ephesians 4:32

I have been forgiven much. I had to forgive much. God’s grace helped (and helps) me to not only extend forgiveness but receive it as well. When you have spent a large chunk of your life feeling unworthy, Christ’s grace makes sure you believe you are. Worthy of forgiveness. Worthy of love. Worthy of His time and undivided attention. Worthy of so much more than what we think or imagine.

He wants us to run to Him with our wounds, to rest secure in His arms. He is Counselor. He is Physician. He is Friend. He is our Husband. As children of God, we are His bride.

When you have a past as bumpy as the road I’ve travelled, the only way to feel worthy of the beauty and grace that is God and all He has for us is by losing ourselves in His immense love. If you’ve never experienced the love of God, I pray you are open enough to the idea of Him to receive it. He is Beautiful. Pure. True. Untainted.

He gives us power and strength to peer into our past for the purpose of a bright, beautiful, and hopeful future.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”─Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Even if you don’t believe you are worthy, even if you don’t believe those words could be true for you, if you have only a morsel of hope and belief they are true for you, that is enough. I pray God grows your belief into the fullness of reality that you are worthy. Valuable. Priceless and treasured.

I know this is possible, because He took this once broken woman and gave me a hope for my future. My life is good, pure, sweet and true, because I’m following the One who is Good, Pure, Sweet and True. He brings peace, and love, healing, and redemption.

He makes all things beautiful in their time.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.─Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

Friends, we can’t fathom the goodness God desires to give us here on earth and for all eternity.

He does give us glimpses.

God gave me a new vision of love and marriage when He brought Sam into my life. From my past and the way I used to create favor with men, God didn’t allow me to use those tactics. He wanted Sam and I to do things differently. I’m so grateful for that!

Because Sam and I weren’t relying on physical intimacy, we created genuine intimacy. I do believe other than God, he knows me best. He knows me better than anyone else ever has. And sometimes he even knows me better than I know myself.

Because we didn’t rely on physical intimacy, I had no choice but to use new tools (mostly a dependency on God to help me walk out a Christian relationship). I prayed God would help me. And He did. And He does.

When there have been challenges Sam and I have had to navigate, as are inevitable in life, we have a strong foundation. Our relationship is built on Christ, the solid rock on which we stand. From that vantage point, His loving hand strengthens and encourages us to continue forward in this loving one another well thing. Really. Truly. Deeply. Flawed and imperfect, but genuine and real. My mask is off. I’m me and I hope he always feels he can be Sam. In the world we might not always be able to wear our heart on our sleeve, but I hope with one another we always will.

Merriam Webster’s definition of intimacy says intimacy is:

marked by a warm friendship developing through long association
suggesting informal warmth or privacy
engaged in, involving, or marked by sex or sexual relations

In aggregate, these make for a brilliant, wonderful marriage. We need friendship first through long association. Friendship isn’t confused by physicality and endorphins. Friendship says, “I see you for who you really are. I like you. I like spending time with you. It could be anything, really, as long as we are together.”

Genuine intimacy also requires warmth and privacy. In a marital bond with Christ leading and guiding, there is a genuine caring and concern. Because Christ lives in us, we possess His nature. He is love. He is trustworthy. He is safe. As husbands and wives, we need to be that for one another. If there has been a breach in trust for any reason, seek to make restoration. Seek forgiveness or seek God to give it to your spouse. It’s not easy. But it’s possible. Trust is built over time, through long association. Little by little, brick by brick, the house Love builds can withstand life’s storms.

While God calls me to share openly and vulnerably sometimes (to help others and to bring deeper healing to me), Sam is most often made aware of my heart long, long before I write or speak about a topic. Sam is kind. He is tender. He holds my hurts and heart gently. Over the course of our long association I have learned I can trust him. At first it felt monumental to share pieces of me and my story, like cliff diving into an unknown sea. Now it feels safe to share with Sam. I can be in my jammies armed with a box of Kleenex, looking a hot mess and know that his heart is for me.

Honestly, the physical nature of our relationship is hardest for me. There’s much hurt and brokenness there on my part, distortion of what is pure, lovely, and true.

God created sex. Satan tainted it. God has grown me to look at sex more through His eyes. At first it was a lot of the “thou shalt nots” being given─not from a distant, dictating God. Guidance given from a loving Father who only wants what’s best for me.

If you don’t know Him or just need reminding,

God wants what’s best for you!

For awhile, I had a hard time distancing myself from memories I didn’t want to linger. I didn’t want reminders of those experiences determined to try to define me. The enemy loved to torment me with those thoughts and doubts. But God brought deliverance and freedom. Years in God’s Word. Years in the school of the Holy Spirit, being comforted by Him and reassured there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Receiving His love and healing. Helping others. These all served to set me free.

Christ gave me freedom. And when I need reminding, He gives me freedom. Sometimes he brings me to new depths of freedom, each time less to hinder me. Growth in the soil of God’s goodness.

God helps me to experience sex as intimacy, not as an act. Acting I was good at. Intimacy I’m growing to become good at. It doesn’t happen over night, it happens in increments. Imagine a bucket on the beach. Little by little you fill it with sand. Eventually it is full. Eventually it overflows. Intimacy is like that.

If you have a story like mine, intimacy isn’t easy. But it if you have a story like mine and God is in the equation, intimacy is possible.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”─Matthew 19:26 NIV

Jesus looks at you.

Jesus looks at you and says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Lord, help each person whose eyes read this to fear not, to know that You are with them. Help them to be not dismayed. Help them to know You. Strengthen each one. Help them and uphold them with Your righteous right hand. In Jesus’ name, amen!

“Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

─Isaiah 41:10 NKJV

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