Welcome to FACETS of Faith. We’re so glad you are here! This month we’re talking about connection and correction. Most of us probably want to connect, but don’t love the idea of correction. Visions of being sent to the principal’s office for disrupting the class might come to mind. Erase that thought. Let’s see what God has for us this month as the FACETS team shares what we felt led to write. God’s grace is good. Remember that and happy reading!
I have an eye for editing. I see things missing or off. My tendency is to observe what’s lacking, rather than what’s left that is good, at least at first. When I edit writing, whether mine or others’, I notice what seems incorrect or in need of clarification. Comma here. Word choice there. I see the gaps first. Like meeting a child with two front teeth missing, I can’t help but see what’s right before me.
Children smile large even if a few teeth aren’t there. We can learn from them. Grin large because there is much goodness in each of us, even if we have a thing or two missing.
God has trained me to go back through a piece and notice what works. It’s always there. I recognize some of the goodness at first glance, but when I sit with a piece a bit longer, I see greater good than what I might have originally thought. I add in words of encouragement to myself (if it’s my piece – because writing is basically baring your soul) or words to encourage others, recognizing their brilliant contribution to the creative collective.
Noticing what’s off or missing isn’t necessarily wrong. It’s how we harness what we see and notice, how we wield that knowledge that matters.
Truth isn’t bad but sandwiching it in grace and mercy is always best.
Sometimes, the skill of seeing what’s missing or off serves me well. When I help people sell their homes, I notice things buyers will see. Little things that might prove to be a stumbling block that are easily avoidable. I make my mental list in the spirit of helping them, and always add back in all the beautiful things about their home. But part of why clients hire me is to tell the truth. I wouldn’t be serving them well to speak only about what’s working in their home.
After all, they want to sell it. If I see the blemish, buyers likely will too. We become blind to what’s right in front of us when we live in it every day. We sometimes do need help seeing truth to move forward.
With God’s help I’ve trained myself to see the good. In God. In myself. In others. It hasn’t been easy seeing good. God’s grace and mercy has taught and is teaching me how. I’m still in training, and if I stop my workouts (daily meetings with Jesus, my Bible, and coffee), I’d very likely go right back to where I wouldn’t want to be. Not able to see the good. In God. In myself. In others.
I notice if something doesn’t fit. For a long time, I thought that was me. I’d look in the mirror and pick, pick, pick. Not this. Not that. Not her. Not. Not. Not. God’s grace showed me otherwise. We all fit into His complicated puzzle of family─the Church (big C). We are all different from one another by design, but sometimes that’s hard to see.
It’s also hard to see what God is doing beneath the surface in other people’s lives. Certainly, it’s even hard to often know what He’s doing in ours!
Truth in His Word calls things out for us. The beauty of the Bible is it teaches us good and bad, right and wrong, but not in a way we might imagine. (Or at least some of us might) Jesus has a better way. Of course, He does!
Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.”And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”
She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”─John 8:2-11 NKJV
Did Jesus notice the woman’s sin? Of course, He did. But what really matters is He saw her first. He saw the goodness in her. He knew the good she had in her (even if she didn’t recognize it herself).
The Pharisees edited her life. They only saw what was on the surface as “wrong” and sinful. They didn’t know how she found herself in that position. They didn’t even seek to understand. They drug her before judgement and publicly humiliated her. The Pharisees didn’t recognize their own sin: judgement of others, not recognizing Jesus in their midst, and for some probably even hypocrisy (were any of them adulterers?).
We don’t know why the woman chose a sinful path, but there’s almost always a reason we choose darkness over light. Shame has a way of hiding all that’s beautiful within us. Until Jesus helps us shake it off, stand up, and sin no more.
Jesus gives us such a beautiful picture of connection before correction. It’s very likely you know this story from the Bible. But let us take heed of these words in a new way, a deeper way, let them dig in so we can do God’s good work, because He’s done His good work in each of us.
So, what did Jesus do? He connected before He corrected.
1. Connection Point: He defended her from her accusers.
Defense of a person doesn’t mean we are required to defend their sin. Jesus didn’t do that. But He did defend the woman. Honestly, I sometimes want to shake my hand at fellow believers who hold signs, and protest, rather than love. (But I realize I’d be joining them, so I won’t do that.) How can anyone hear what we have to say if they feel judged by us? They can’t!
Early in my faith, I wouldn’t have been able to hear all the truth, and all the ways I needed to transform. God knew that. He knew where He was taking me. He didn’t give me a scroll of sin to address. He gave me what I could handle when I could handle it. And you know what? He delighted in me when I joined Him in the process. He didn’t expect me to be perfect. He already knew I wasn’t.
So why do we expect perfection out of people who don’t know Him, or are new to knowing Him, or even have known Him for a long, long time.
We are all sinners in need of God’s grace. Every one of us. You. And me. (Romans 3:23)
2. Connection Point: Jesus “raised Himself up” on behalf of the woman.
By standing up, Jesus took a position of authority over the woman’s accusers. And in His authority, the woman was allowed to rise up out of the ash heap of sin and shame. The woman was standing, but I imagine her standing straighter, with her shoulders back, and her head held high after her encounter with Jesus.
When was the last time someone defended you, even when you were in the wrong? How did that make you feel? We all want mercy. The cross gave us just that!
Jesus always leaves us better off than we were before He speaks truth in love to us. We should always have the goal of helping others to rise up and be genuinely better off because we helped them to stand straighter, shoulders back, and head held high.
The accuser of the brethren (Satan) wants to keep us down. Let’s not participate in his plan.
If we need to say something to someone, connect with God first. Hear His voice. Rely on Him to help us stand against the enemy on behalf of others. Most of the time, we probably shouldn’t say anything at all. But when we do speak, remember how God spoke to this woman. Will our words help this person to stand tall?
Again, before we ever speak a word, we should pray and ask God to help our words help others rise. If that’s not the goal, it’s not a good and perfect gift from God. God is always about helping His kids to rise, to recognize goodness, and to call it out. He does correct. Most generally, He doesn’t need our help doing it.
3. Connection Point: Jesus called her Woman.
My old feminist self would have cringed, because I wouldn’t have understood the meaning of this. At that time in history, women held little power or influence. They were very vulnerable (and this woman, in particular, could have been stoned to death for her transgressions). In fact, men weren’t to be seen alone with women. Especially devout Jews like Jesus. Yet He stood right there with the woman. He stood up to men, men of influence and power. He didn’t care. He wasn’t about following what the world, or even the spiritual leaders, thought was right. He knew He needed to acknowledge the Woman and He did so with all the men. And she witnessed His actions. Acknowledgement and action make impact.
Jesus always fights for the underdog. Scripture gives us plenty of examples: David, Gideon, Nehemiah, Rahab, Ruth, to name a few.
He loves us all. He calls me. He calls you. What’s your name? He knows it!
P.S. For any feminist friends happening to read this, check out the gospel of Luke. See how Jesus treats, treasures, and adores women. I’d also welcome conversation with you.
4. Connection Point: Jesus saw the woman, really saw her.
Jesus stood up and saw the woman. It was only the two of them. All her accusers had scurried off at the realization they could just as easily be accused and found guilty of sin.
Jesus was aware of her sin, but He saw her. He made sure she knew His heart for her first. And always.
Because He wanted the best life for her, He knew she needed to be seen and known. Defended. Protected. Loved.
From that vantage point, she could hear what He had to say to her.
Isn’t that the truth for us too?
It’s very difficult to receive correction from a critical voice. Remember that teacher, manager, parent, or other person in authority who corrected without connection? That’s hard. It’s hard to hear. It’s hard to believe they have your best interests at heart. It’s hard to have any kind of desire to turn from sin toward that voice. Why would we? That can feel scary.
Jesus isn’t scary.
He’s Truth wrapped up in a warm blanket of Love. Like a child’s blankie, when we grasp His heart for us, we desire to take Him with us everywhere. His Love helps us feel safe and secure. Out of that secure position, we can hear the Truth of what He has to say.
He knows our sin. But I believe He knows us as individuals created in His image on a journey of transformation and freedom from sin. That sojourn happens one day at a time out of the overflow of His love for us.
Jesus sees you. And He sees that person who gets on your very last nerve. Yes, He sees them too.
And He wants us to see them as well.
That doesn’t always feel easy. It’s okay. It might not be. That’s when we ask for extra doses of grace and mercy from God to do it.
When we see people, they feel seen. Sounds basic. But how many people walk around in this world zombie-like wanting, waiting to be seen? Many! Selfies, anyone? A cry to be seen (at least sometimes). So let’s see. See the ones God calls you to. He doesn’t call you to everyone, but He does call you to some. See your some.
Yesterday, I heard a talk from Mackenzie Carter. She said something that struck me. “Step. Step. Stop.” Through our days, step forward, step forward, and then stop. Stop when we hear that still small voice tell us to take 10 minutes to connect with the person across the screen, table, cash register, or wherever we might be. Stop.
I’d actually like to add to what Mackenzie shared. How about….
“Step. Step. Stop. See.”
We all want to be seen. Let’s start by seeing.
5. Connection Point: Jesus asked a question.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is ask a question and let the Lord help the person come to their own understanding with His help (not ours). I’m not saying we never call anything out, but we should be certain God has asked us to. It’s not always our job to call it out. A better way is questions. We all believe the conclusions we are able to come to ourselves the most. We are all on a quest, a faith quest — even those of us who don’t realize it.
Questions allow the Holy Spirit to do His beautiful work in our brother’s and sister’s lives.
Questions also work in our own lives. Ask the Lord questions on behalf of yourself too. Do not worry. He isn’t going to come down on us like a guillotine. That’s what I used to think. Instead, He falls on us like grace.
His questions reveal a picture of His grace.
“Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”
Through His questions, she considers and answers. “No one.”
Think about how freeing that had to feel.
Imagine if you were caught stealing, in an affair, in addiction, lying, in pride, in gossip, in over-indulgence, in idolatry (children, spouses, jobs, identity in anything other than as a child of God), in any number of our sins. It’s you and Jesus. Just the two of you. Would you feel guilty? Would you squirm from the idea of it? I probably would.
But the beauty of God and His grace is seen even in His timing. Back-to-back questions leading the woman to the conclusion He wanted her to arrive at.
There is no condemnation.
Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you..”
He says that to you and me too.
Jesus says to you and me, “Neither do I condemn you.”
Let it sink in.
6. Correction Point: Now go and sin no more.
Only after God has deeply and genuinely connected with the woman does He tell her to “Go and sin no more.”
Sin hurts us and God knows it. People ask why bad things happen in our world? It’s because of sin. God wants us to stop that! I think of the tragedies in El Paso, TX and Dayton, OH.
That’s someone’s sin splayed across our world with terrible consequences.
“Go and sin no more.”
Sin wrecks lives, ours and others.
That is why God says, “Go and sin no more.”
I think of the pain I caused myself and others from my own sin. I don’t dwell on it, because God wouldn’t want me to. But I do know many of the sins God delivered me from (and is in the process of delivering me from). There are probably things I’m not even aware of yet. It’s because God is still connecting with me and giving me what I can handle, when I can handle it.
He keeps telling me, when I get angry or impatient, “Go and sin no more.”
His voice of correction is kind. It’s not harsh. It’s love wrapped in a blanket of truth that helps me know Him, myself, and how He wants me to carry out my calling here on earth.
So when God asks us to “Go and sin no more.” Let’s join Him. It’s His compassion that leads to change. His example is a good one to follow when dealing with others. (Again, not always easy. I know. But He’ll help us.)
I think of the families who are experiencing great loss right now from the events over the last week or so. We might not want to extend mercy to those who sinned and perpetrated atrocities against others, but consider what Jesus did for the man hanging on the cross next to Him. Jesus connected with him. And that man was saved. Just like you. And just like me. Sin isn’t on a sliding scale, even though we make it that way sometimes.
Why does connection before correction matter?
We all want a better world, a kinder, gentler place, a place where goodness dwells. When we focus on connecting before correcting, we create space for those things to happen.
More importantly (if you can imagine, but it’s true because our world is temporal)…we participate in God’s plan to help others walk out of darkness and into the light of life for all eternity.
Then Jesus spoke to them (the Pharisees) again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”─John 8:12 NKJV (added for clarification)
We won’t get the connecting before correcting right 100% of the time. We should still try.
And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.─John Steinbeck
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