Grace Archives – Page 2 of 6

Guest Post: Much Becoming Little and Little Becoming Much

10.22.2018 by Jennifer Howe //

Hello friend, I (Jennifer) am excited to introduce you to one of my dear friends, a beautiful thinker and writer of Bible studies with her team, Woven. (See their site here.) Please welcome Beth Whartnaby to our little corner of the Internet. The FACETS believe you will love knowing her and reading her thoughts on God multiplying little into much.

This is a story about much becoming little, and little becoming much.

Eight years ago I moved my elderly parents, who were suffering from chronic physical and mental health issues, from the Gulf coast of Alabama to my hometown in Illinois. My mom and dad had reached the stage where they needed assistance. They were clearly failing, and as their only daughter, I was ready and willing to help. The prospect of having them near us for the first time in our married life excited me as I anticipated sweet times together as a family. I was eager to assume the caretaker role.

Looking back, I realize that I was full of much. I was chock-full of energy, enthusiasm, ideas, and plans, bursting with knowledge and creativity, ready to dedicate my time. I was determined to make a lovely little home for them in their tiny new apartment, find all the right specialists to treat their medical needs, make sense of all their insurance questions, diligently drive them to all their appointments, and warmly include them in family gatherings, making the little time I believed we would have together into much.

God beautifully positioned me to obey the fifth commandment, “Honor your father and mother,” in a very hands on way—and I was determined to do it. But I forgot where the strength and power to fulfill this mandate comes from.

After a few years of caring for my parents I found myself scraping up the dregs from my bucket of much. My own physical and emotional health began to suffer, and it was all I could do to walk into their building each day. My feet felt like lead and my heart broke at our combined need—I was burned out. It was then I realized that what I thought was much, was actually little. I had gone from feeling like I had much to feeling like I needed much, when all I really needed was one thing: God’s powerful grace.

Each time he [God] said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me … For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9, 10b NLT

The funny thing about God’s grace is you have to let God fill you with it to experience the power. You have to acknowledge your weakness, surrender control, and offer your empty bucket to God so He can fill it.

For out of His fullness [the superabundance of His grace and truth] we have all received grace upon grace [spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing, favor upon favor, and gift heaped upon gift]. John 1:16 AMP

I realize now that if I had just surrendered my little to God in the beginning and allowed Him to be strong in my weakness, I would have started out with much! But I didn’t. It took hitting the wall of my own resources for me to actually live what I know: “When I am weak, then I am strong.” When I have little and I put it in the hands of Jesus and leave it there, trusting Him to work on my behalf then I have much.

Doing what God calls us to do is the first thing. Doing what He calls us to do in His strength and not our own is the only way the first thing is possible. Humanly, we all have little. Only God, in His wondrous grace, by the power of His Holy Spirit, can turn our little into a harvest of much. Surrendering everything to God is like handing Him our bucket, the one we think is filled with so much. Suddenly we are overwhelmed when we realize it is now bottomless. Imagine the awe of the boy with only five small barley loaves and two small fish watching thousands feast on his meager lunch (John 6:1-13)!

So how do we live in this power and grace that transforms our little into much? We dwell with Jesus minute by minute, relying on the Holy Spirit to influence our decisions and to infuse us with all we need to follow through. We cultivate a life centered on God’s Word and prayer, growing into a deep abiding with God that makes Him our first and best thought each day, our “go-to” every minute, and our source of rest and peace each night. There is a sweet discipline involved in living in God’s power and grace, an effort on our part, that pays off exponentially. As we surrender our life completely to God, the gift we get in return is “infinitely more than we might ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20).

By God’s grace my parents are still with us, battling daily against the challenges of being in their 90s. We have navigated countless doctors’ appointments, many hospitalizations, and our fair share of emergencies. We have argued and agreed, negotiated and surrendered, laughed and cried. The burdens that many would consider much are, in the scheme of things, really little. The little I had to offer, by God’s grace has yielded a harvest of much.

Is there much in your life that God is waiting for you to realize is really little? When you see it, surrender it, and by the power of His amazing grace, He will turn it into much.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 NLT

What Lessons Has Life Taught Me?

09.04.2018 by Tracy Stella //

What lessons has life taught me? Just a small question, small like the climbing of Mt Everest. Since we are always in the process of being transformed by the renewal of our mind (Romans 12:2), change is ever under way. Change means lessons learned always, if we’re listening, if we take heed.

Rather than become overwhelmed by the question, I thought I’d focus on one area of life. Still, it feels big, looming like the ocean when you set sail on a cruise and find yourself far from shore. Looking out, all you see upon the horizon is where water kisses sky, waves reaching upward. Vast. That’s how big marriage feels and the lessons God has, and is, using it to teach me.

This month FACETS thought we’d approach the question in a timeline fashion: “Where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going”. Our hope and prayer is that God meets you as we share our hearts and what God is doing in our lives. We pray God uses our writing to help us and you remember where we were, but more importantly where we are going. With that in mind, back to my life lessons as it relates to marriage.

Where I’ve Been

At 28 I got married. I thought I waited long enough to know what I wanted, to know who I was. I thought I knew things, more things than I really did – especially when it came to marriage!

I thought I’d married my Prince Charming. The shoe seemed to fit perfectly. Glass slipper turned into shattered hearts, mine, and I imagine his too. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

We started off well enough. In love. We thought that would keep us afloat. It didn’t. Sometimes, the water gets choppy and you need more than love, the way most people think of love. Marriage takes sacrificial love. It takes dying to self. It takes setting aside pride and seeking to understand. I knew none of these things.

I’d read a lot of Cinderella and virtually nothing of the Bible.

Neither my ex nor I knew the Lord, but we had each other. Us against the world. We eloped secretly to Jamaica and its sandy shores. Ocean, sky, salty air and us. We didn’t see the impending doom upon the horizon. It would take over a decade to implode.

So what happened?

How does love get lost?

How do things turn from ocean, sky and salty air to just, well, salty (before forgiveness sets in)?

For me, one of the reasons things turned so far off course had to do with fear. I feared marriages where fighting was part of the dynamic. I didn’t want volatility, so I avoided conflict like the plague. I didn’t want to argue, so often I would stuff things down. What I didn’t talk about wouldn’t become real, never mind when one little problem, upon one little problem, upon another isn’t dealt with in a healthy fashion. Life can get sucked out of any love relationship.

If we’re not being real about what we want and need and how we feel, we’re not loved for who we are. We’re projecting what we want things to be or what we think the other person wants them to be─codependence at its finest─rather than what they really are, which ends up in shipwreck. After all, we’re made to be truly known, seen and loved. God gives us marriage as a picture (and tool) of His love for us. Man and woman, not to be separated once joined. (Matthew 19:6)

It’s gut wrenching when they are ripped apart. I know. Perhaps you do too.

I denied any issues by not looking at them. I was too naïve sometimes. I was too afraid others. I was lost, in a big world and, like Christopher Columbus, had one version of how things should look and was wrong.

A marriage devoid of fighting isn’t necessarily good. Perhaps, a marriage devoid of fighting means people aren’t communicating enough.

Fear told me fighting was bad. My faith now says, dealing with conflict in a healthy fashion with Jesus at the center is desirable.

I denied his problems. I denied mine. If I had it to do all over again, I’d deal with my junk. Junk leads to sin, shame and sorrow. Unhealthy people inflict pain. Those who get hurt most? The ones closest.

After a big wrestle with all that was wrong, my pride said “divorce him”. Others affirmed my choice. I had no Jesus. (He was there, I just didn’t know Him.) I obviously had no faith. I had nothing solid to stand on, and because the ship was sinking, I jumped off the side. I imagine the impact of a plane crash landing in the ocean. It hurt that much! Maybe more.

The pain didn’t set in right away. I was too busy running. I ran to Hawaii. I ran to the Caribbean. No matter where I ran to, I couldn’t outrun the pain of my broken heart. Who knew? I WAS invincible. I didn’t have the intellectual aptitude to deal with all the emotion threatening to take me away, like the tide carrying debris off the shore into the inky ocean.

There was danger lurking too. I encountered even worse relationships after my divorce. Wounded women are easy targets. I might as well have put a big bulls’ eye on my back.

And then I met a gentleman. He changed things dramatically!

Where I Am

How did I meet this gentleman? What was his name? What does our love story look like?

This Gentleman’s name is Jesus. He saved me! He saved me from harmful relationships. He saved me from harming myself to escape a sea of shame, sin, and pain. His love invaded and consumed me, and my life has never been the same.

His love reached into my heart and spoke all the words I’d longed to hear my whole life. I felt seen. I felt known. I felt understood – for the first time. Miraculously, my pride collapsed, and I knew I didn’t know everything (or pretty much anything). I didn’t need to. I knew, and know, the One who does.

He tenderly loved me back to life. I was limp, left for dead. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). That almost happened. But God. The truest, most real, Prince Charming swept away His bride. His love left me breathless. It still does.

When we really let God’s love invade us, we are never the same. It’s His love that leads to life transforming change. It’s only when we deeply experience God’s love that we can convey love in a meaningful fashion to others.

If your relationships are amiss, explore whether you are fully abiding in God’s love. In Jesus’ words:

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” ─John 15:9 NIV

If love relationships start to slip, go back to the above. Repeat until things are set right once again.

If we are unable to give and receive love to others, sit with God. Experience His love. Experience Him. Don’t move into a love relationship before you know as you know the love of God. It’s reckless. It’s consuming. It’s the sweetest, most precious gift He gives us. His love, it’s really beyond explanation. As much as I have experienced it, I desire to experience it more. Because when I do, I am a kinder, better version of me. His love helps us become the best version of ourselves.

God’s love gives us confidence. His grace and mercy tangible evidence of His love.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.─Hebrews 4:16 NIV

His love is perfect, and it casts out all fear.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ─1 John 4:18 NIV

What I’ve found about myself, and others for that matter, is when we react badly to each other, the real reason often is rooted in fear. We’re afraid of getting taken advantage of. We’re afraid of getting hurt. We’re afraid we won’t get what we want, or we won’t get our way. We’re afraid of – fill in the blank, because there is no shortage of things we can fear.

But God’s love casts out fear. God’s love gives us confidence. God’s love helps us to trust in His goodness, which leads us to trust others too.

Trusting God led me to first kneel at His altar, to humbly seek Him, and to listen to what He has to say. Certainly, I try to anyhow. And even in those very early baby years of my Christian faith, I grew to know I could trust our sweet Jesus. Because of His love, I believed Him when He asked me to “trust Him”.

God asked me to “trust Him” to get married to my current husband Sam. As terrified as I was, God’s perfect love cast that fear aside in my heart. I was consumed with the truth that I did trust God and I would obey what felt like walking on a plank that could send me plunging into an inky abyss. I would never have taken the risk it takes to be vulnerable in marriage a second time had God not fostered in me first a loving, trusting relationship with Him.

Out of God’s perfect love that casts out ALL FEAR, I was able to love another human being again.

I met Sam at church, saved only 2 weeks before we met. Skittish and scared, I embarked upon dating my first Christian at age 40. A lot different than my other dating experiences, for sure. I remember being so afraid I was going to mess things all up. I remember not even wanting the relationship at times, not because Sam wasn’t good and kind, sweet and loving, but because of the aroma of fear that God kept fanning away.

I believe the enemy knew how strong Sam and I would be together, how through the love God gave us and poured into us and our marriage, we were going to be a hindrance to the kingdom of darkness. Guess what, marriages forged in the strength, power and love of Christ are a force to be reckoned with!

Make no mistake, the enemy LOVES to attack marriage. When things are going wonky, we always need to look for evidence of the crafty serpent slithering away. He doesn’t want love and relationships to exist. The enemy’s plans are to destroy, to rip apart what God joined together.

God’s plans are that no one separate what God has joined.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. ─Matthew 19:6 NIV

I pray God forges all of our marriages, current – or if you are single, future – in the strength, power and love of Christ. I pray God covers us and our marriages under His protective wing.

Communication is critical to healthy relationships. We can’t make assumptions. We need to clear the air. We need to convey how we feel.

Recently, I shared with my husband how I was feeling about a scenario. He is a kind and good man, but sometimes he doesn’t readily entertain what I’m saying. Like all of us, we can start to plead our case before hearing the other side. What’s different about this is that I don’t let that response silence me nor do I typically let it create World War III.

Sam will encourage me to “believe the best”. I try, but sometimes I question it (generally if my feelings have been hurt in some way).

I’ve learned to express myself, to appropriately “stand up” for myself with words something like this…

“No. It’s okay for me to express how I feel. I heard such and such when you said so and so.”

It’s important to ask questions and clarify what was said and the intention behind the words (or actions).

Sweeping my feelings under the rug is a lousy idea. It’s better to acknowledge them in a healthy fashion.

Admittedly, I don’t always understand them. The best advice I have for myself and you is to seek God in those moments. When we set pride aside and inquire of God about how we are feeling and why, He is faithful to share the root. I might not always get an instant answer, but He is faithful to reveal truth to me in a loving fashion. God’s heart is always to heal us, and He uses our marriages to do that. It’s part of the purpose of marriage.

I am blessed in my marriage, but it’s because we have Christ at the center. Beyond that, keeping communication open and being intentional about spending time with one another, investing in our marriage helps us to stay the course.

I am not naïve enough to think that a healthy marriage will be a guaranteed outcome without additional investment on both our part. What we don’t pay attention to withers. We need to be intentional with each other. We can’t take each other or our love for granted.

Where I’m Going

In my case, I feel like the above should read “Where We’re Going”.

Recently, Sam and I were asked to help launch a marriage ministry at our church. The first study we plan to do is called The Meaning of Marriage. I don’t know how God will use that study in our marriage and in the marriages of those He calls to it, but I DO trust God will show up in the midst of it all.

We don’t have all the answers to the meaning of marriage. We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we have one vulnerable enough to share with others the lessons God has taught and is teaching us along the way.

We do know the One who possesses perfect love that casts out all fear.

If you live in the area, consider attending. It starts the end of October. And if you feel you have a solid, Christ-centered marriage and have a heart to help others see Christ at work in their marriage, we’d love to connect with you.

We are praying in advance for you and your marriages, even as we ask that those reading this pray for us, our marriage, and the marriages God is calling us to serve. In Jesus’ name.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Rescued from Shame

04.17.2018 by Kim Findlay //

This month at Facets of Faith we’ve been answering the question “what has God rescued you from?”. Tracy and Jen each shared already —be sure to check out their posts by clicking on their names! If you don’t want to miss out, subscribe by sharing your email in the box to the right. Now, it’s my (Kim) turn!

The image slowly took shape in my mind’s eye. A little girl huddled in the corner. Alone. Scared. Dressed in rags she looked with longing at the banquet table spread out before her. Food filled every inch as the place settings were gilded in gold. She longed to join the feast but shame kept her hidden, and hopelessness kept her silent.

Pulling at her clothes, she wondered how to ease the ache in her stomach. The hunger for more. The longing to be loved and accepted.

Shame hissed in her ear again —you’ll never be loved. Look at what you’ve done. All that’s happened to you. You’re too damaged, too broken, too much. Her head hung lower, touching her knees. For a moment she wished the floor would simply swallow her whole if nothing else but to put an end to the despair.

Have you heard the whisper of shame before? The embarrassment over past decisions, whether yours or those who belonged to someone else? Maybe you’ve not only heard the whisper, you’ve been told that you’re too broken, too damaged, too much to deal with. Like the little girl in my dream, you hunkered down in the corner feeling unwanted, unnoticed, unloved and watched as the party unfolded.

I lived that way for quite a while —it looked like I was at the party but in reality I sat in rags like the little girl, tucked away in the corner listening to the lies that my brokenness was beyond healing as life drained from my bones. Death. Loss. Hopelessness.

I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Sin has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within.” Psalm 31:10

The good news is that I didn’t stay there. Jesus rescued me not only from my sin, but from the shame that hushed my voice and caused me to believe I wasn’t good enough to sit at the table.

Because while I am not good enough (“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” Romans 3:23), He is. There’s nothing I can do to “save” myself. There aren’t enough good deeds to perform or right living to live or pretending life is something it’s not. Only Jesus can save me.

He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.” 2 Samuel 22:17

Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit.” 1 Peter 3:18

He rescued me from death and hopelessness. He rescued me from a life half-lived, from believing my broken heart makes me somehow “less than”, from trudging through the sludge of lies thinking that was all I deserved.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” Psalm 40:1-2

He not only rescued me from the despair that tried to trip me, He filled me with hope that sees beyond my circumstances —beyond my past and my present so I have strength to peer into the future and a life spent with God in eternity. He heals every broken piece and makes something new, something beautiful, something uniquely His that brings Him glory and restores my soul.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Psalm 34:5

I think about that little girl huddled in the corner. I imagine the moment Jesus noticed her. Or perhaps, the moment she noticed Him. Eyes cast down a pair of feet suddenly before her. Maybe she felt Him before she saw Him, that wave of something she couldn’t quite explain. A glimmer of hope? A rush of peace?

Slowly she lifted her eyes, hesitantly, fearfully. She wondered if maybe she’d finally been found out and was about to be caste aside, thrown out like with the garbage.

Instead, she notices a hand reaching out to her. A dark hand worn from work, scarred and gentle. Waiting. Her own little hand reaches up, touching the rough skin as His fingers wrap protectively around hers. Before she knows it, she’s on her feet, wrapped in his warm embrace. Love fills her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Grace washes the tears that stream down her cheeks.

But He doesn’t stop there. He steps back and removes his robe, a robe that glimmers like diamonds. White. Pristine. She thought he was wise to do that, she didn’t want to dirty it with her rags. In a split second she realized he’s not removing it to be kept clean, he’s wrapping it around her shoulders. His righteousness becomes hers as the shame is replaced with hope.

I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness.” Isaiah 61:10a

She begins to realize He’s still not done. She would be satisfied with His robe lovingly wrapped around her shivering body. But there’s more. So much more. He tenderly leads her toward the place she longed for —the banquet table. Pulling out a chair He guides her to sit and enjoy the goodness He has for her.

And she weeps with joy that can’t be contained as she joins the feast. Her heart and soul satisfied and filled with gratitude.

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called —his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.” Ephesians 1:18

We love to hear from you! If God has rescued you, can you tell us how? You can comment below or jump over to our Facets of Faith Facebook page and join the conversation.