grief Archives – Page 6 of 6

This month we’ve been answering the question “how has God changed my perspective about an issue”. Tracy and Jen shared their stories earlier this month. You do not want to miss them so click on their names and check out how God shifted their perspective on two very personal issues.

I have lived much of my life battling one thing: fear.

When I was little, fear took the shape of typical childhood distress. Fear of the dark. Fear of being lost. Fear of losing my mom or dad.

As I grew, some of those fears remained in my childhood while others shifted into the shadows, lurking close enough to incite anxiety but far enough to remain elusive, unidentifiable.

I didn’t always know I struggled with fear. Early on it wore different faces: moving cross-country; making new friends; starting new schools; the darkness of our basement; moving out of my parents’ home with a newborn baby; uncertainty and distress after the Oklahoma City bombings; blending a family of five after a debilitating stroke struck my first husband; adding a sixth member to our floundering family.

During those years I rationalized my feelings and disregarded their strength. Fear lurked in every corner of my heart, threatened any sense of peace and security yet I was convinced if I just tried harder, served God more, and did all the right things, those feelings would dissipate in absolute trust. After all, doesn’t the Bible tell us not to be afraid, supposedly offering one verse for every day of the year? So if I felt afraid, if I allowed fear to dig its roots into my soul, did I not trust God? Had I lost my faith?

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious righthand.” Isaiah 41:10, NLT

I believe Scripture is true. All of it. I believe when God tells us not to be afraid, we’re not to be afraid. But what I struggled to understand, what I’m still wrestling through: what happens when I do feel afraid? When fear steps creeps out of the shadows and looms large? Because it happens. A lot.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7, NLT

March 2, 2005. My greatest nightmare, my biggest fear, became my most devastating reality as fire destroyed our home and death snatch away the life one of my children. Fear no longer lurked in the shadows but became as real as the air I breathed.

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before the. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6, NLT

I could no longer pretend fear had not been a constant companion. I could no longer deny its existence. I watched its shadow creep over the precious face of my little girl as I stood on the brink of allowing fear to consume me, erasing any existence of God, any truth I thought I believed.

Yet as I stared at my greatest fear, as I look it square in its eye and grabbed it by its shoulders, a greater truth began to take shape. A truth I had heard but was only beginning to understand.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12, NLT

Fear is a feeling, a very real and legitimate feeling given to us as a means of protection. As I stood on my driveway as my house burned, the fear I felt was real and appropriate.

But sometimes it seems bigger and feels even stronger because the unseen world twists and corrupts. That’s the goal, after all: to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10a). The battle is real and fear can be an effective weapon.

Fears are distorted into the what-if’s and what-might-be’s. What if fire strikes again? What if my spouse chooses to leave me? What if something happens to my child? What if I can’t make the bills this month? Scripture calls those fears “worry” and challenges us to determine their usefulness (Matthew 6:27-30). All they do is snatch away our joy, our peace, and sometimes even our relationships.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7, NLT

What do we do when fear creeps in? How can we respond?

I’m learning to bring my fear to Him. Every. Single. One. I’m learning that He doesn’t taunt me or ridicule me. He won’t condemn or make fun of me. As those feelings creep up my spine and grip my heart, I’m learning to cry out and invite Him in, to call on His name and be reminded of His power, power that is stronger than any fear.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.” 1 John 4:18a, NLT

He’s changing my perceptive. He’s opening my eyes to see His true character, who He is and how He cares for me, the truth that He loves me and knows everything about me (Psalm 139), including each fear I face.

The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:14, NLT

I’m learning that while fear lurks in the shadows of this broken and fallen world, I don’t have to face it on my own. Nor do you. We can safely and confidently press in to the One who loves us so much that He fought death on our behalf . . . and won.

Wait patiently for the Lord. Be strong and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14, NLT

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

What issue do you believe God is wanting to shift for you? Join the conversation and share in the comments or over on our Facebook page.

Hi! Welcome to FACETS of Faith! We’re in the final week of sharing a brief glimpse into our life stories. It’s our hope that as you read through ours, God will reveal a thread of truth through your own.

I love stories. Moving a lot as a child, my books and stories were constant companions regardless of where I lived. I could plunge into a mystery with Nancy Drew or go on an adventure through the wardrobe with Lucy and her siblings. I even remember my very first favorite book. I was three and loved to read Hamilton Duck’s Springtime Story with my mom. It was a gripping tale of a duck who fell asleep under a magnolia tree only to wake and think he was stuck in a snowstorm right in the middle of spring. Hamilton eventually realized he wasn’t stuck in a storm, but (spoiler alert!) magnolia petals as they fluttered down from the tree.

I remember being pulled into the story, wondering alongside Hamilton how in the world it could snow in spring. My mom read the story to me so many times I eventually knew which words went with which pictures and could “read” it back to her. But even though I knew the story, I still felt joy with Hamilton when he figured out it wasn’t snowing after all.

I love when stories do that: when we’re pulled in by the details of the story and feel what the characters feel and see what the characters see. I’m surprised when they’re surprised and feel fearful when they’re afraid. It’s a thrill and yet dangerous all at the same time. I zero in on what’s happening, and often lose sight of the bigger picture.

Kind of like Hamilton.

Truth be told, that happens to me in life, too. I get so wrapped up in the details of my life that I almost miss the bigger story God is writing.

I look at my life and see very clear chapters . . . maybe volumes: my childhood, teen years, early mamahood, a blended family, until . . . tragedy struck through the death of my youngest daughter followed years later by a heart-wrenching divorce.

It would’ve been easy to stay stuck there, mired in those details. To gaze at that part of my story and only see the snow, just like Hamilton the duck. I could’ve remained in the sorrow and grief, allowing it to consume me, define me.

And yet . . .

Through those devastating years I learned there was an Author who had been writing my story all along, allowing the good and the bad as He worked to accomplish a greater plan.

“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.” Hebrews 11b-12a, NIV

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

I learned that God is good, regardless of my circumstances. In fact the heartbreak, the sorrow, and the sadness all seemed to highlight His goodness, not as the world defines good, but as Scripture defines it.

“Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13, NLT

And oh, how I have seen His goodness! No, my precious daughter no longer walks this earth, and my heart yearns to hold her once more. But until that day, the sweetness of God’s comfort through those moments of sorrow gives me the strength to wait.

He has provided deep friendships and loving relationships. He shifted my perspective from the details of my circumstances to see the bigger plan He is creating and how my story fits that plan.

He has gifted me with a heart of hope—not in circumstances but hope in believing God is who He says He is and will do all He says He will do. He allowed me to experience the darkest moments a human can: staring death through the eyes of my daughter, as He revealed His love to me even in that—the stuff of nightmares. His deep, abiding, lavish love that knows no bounds or limits.

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

And now? Now He is redeeming those years of broken hearts and shattered dreams. He’s revealing the work He’s done in me in order to pour out His grace through me so I can encourage others to find hope and healing through seasons of loss. I’m able to create safe space for people to hear that facing our worst nightmares may be our reality but He is bigger, He is stronger, He is with us, and He is victorious!

Then one day, when the time on earth has come to an end, God promises that everything we hoped for, everything we longed for, all of our brokenness will be fully healed.

“I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, ‘Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.’” Revelation 21:3-4 NLT

And then we’ll see that the snowstorm in our lives just might become fluttering magnolia petals, just like Hamilton.

When the Shadow of Fear Looms

Finding Hope in Life’s Storms