Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

What don’t you know that could hurt you?

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This month we’re looking at protection provided to us when we recognize the truth, rather than hide in darkness and denial. When we’re too afraid to face truth, the hidden things can (and do) hurt us. We’re honored here at Facets of Faith to have Donna Wright share a personal and vulnerable piece of her story. We pray God uses it powerfully in your life as you read it, or in the life of someone you know and love as you share it with him or her. Thank you, Donna, for your contribution to this month’s topic. More importantly, thank you for your courage to share. We know God will honor your bravery and bless you. We also know He will use your piece to minister to His kids’ hearts and minds. Without further ado, here’s Donna’s story.

Have you ever wondered how what you don’t know could hurt you?  I have. I was recently asked that very question to write this article for Facets of Faith. So I began to pray about it and ask God what was that something I don’t know that could hurt me? I thought during this time of so many people committing suicide, not knowing the truth was something that could hurt you.

What You Don't Know (yellow), GuestAll my life, almost 60 years, I have battled with this thought in my head that I am unworthy. I am no good. I do not belong here. No one cares whether I live or die. If I had chosen to believe this about myself, I would not be here today.  I would have taken my life when these thoughts started to attack my brain around the time I turned 13.

I met fear when I was just a small child. I do not know the exact date and time, just that I grew up with a daddy that drank too much alcohol. A daddy that came home late at night and yelled and screamed and beat my mommy.  My child’s heart disappeared before I was ten years old. I accepted a responsibility that was not mine to take on. I had to be the protector of my little brother and sister as we huddled together in our bed and listened to the drunken rages of a man who terrorized us night after night.

This fear has stayed a close friend most of my life. When I first heard the song Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams, I praised God because that song describes the truth about fear.

God says in His word “Do not be afraid” or “Fear not” 103 times in the King James Version. This means to me that this is a truth. This truth triumphs over whatever fear has to say to me. So as I pondered this thought more and thought about my life and how it was, I learned “The Truth” around age 21. I was battling fear of the future─what and who I would become. I feared no one loved me, no one cared, and I had no hope.  There was no point in going on. Yet “The Truth” would not let me go on in unbelief. The Lord sent a couple to my house who shared their story with me, how they had met the Lord Jesus Christ, how He loved them, and how He died on a cross just for them.  He provided a hope and a future I could believe in─if only I would ask Him to come into my life and forgive me.

That very night I prayed to a God I had heard about in Sunday school, a God who a pastor dedicated me to when I was an infant, a God who declares in His word He would “never leave me nor forsake me” Deuteronomy 31:6  I made a choice that night to listen to a new voice, not the one of fear anymore, but the word of God. Had I not chosen that night to follow Jesus and instead chosen to follow fear, I would have taken my life right then and there. End of the story!

However, I did not let fear win that night. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I praise God for His Son who died on a cross for each of us so that “The Truth” now lives in me. By giving access to Jesus, He gave the Holy Spirit to live in me. I am never alone.  I no longer fight the battle against fear alone. I have the Holy Spirit who tells me I am victorious. No matter what fear has to say, no matter what the circumstances, I now belong to Jesus Christ.

My story continues, I went on in life to get married, have three children and now have grandchildren.  The story of my life has not been easy or pleasant at times. God does not promise that we will not have trials and tribulations in life, but that we will for His sake.   In Isaiah 40:31 “But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.” 

I am so grateful to our God that I learned the truth.  I pray for all our youth and for those who have not found this truth. The Lord brings workers into the field for the harvest is ripe. We need to share with everyone there is hope for a future, and life is worth living. Fear lurks trying to take as many people as it can, telling men, woman and children there is no hope. Fear tells them they are unworthy to be on this earth, there is a better way if they die. I am here to tell you that is a LIE. Fear is a liar! There is always hope. There is always acceptance. There is always love in God the Father of us all! John 14:6 Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me.

Join the conversation over at Facets of Faith. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Why We Need the Truth of God’s Goodness in Times of Suffering

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Welcome to Facets of Faith —a space where three friends take a topic on life or faith or friendship and offer three unique perspectives. This month we’re responding to the idea that what we don’t know, can hurt us. It’s a glimpse into our thoughts on truth and denial. Jen shared last week —you can read that here. I’m (Kim) up this week.What You Don't Know (green), K. Findlay

Truth these days has shifted from the crips black and white into the murkiness of gray. Toss in truth about God and oy! —the potential for a collision of opinion increases a thousandfold. Hang out on social media and it won’t take long to see the naysayers and trolls that come out to play; those whose only desire is to stir up trouble and angst, distracting us from what is real, what is good, what is true.

Here is the truest thing I know: God is good.

I know, as soon as you read those three words, a million reasons started to whisper why He is not. The poverty. The lost. The hungry. The forgotten. The discarded. The broken.

Suffering.

If God is good, why is there so suffering? Why do I suffer?

Before I dive in, I need to add a disclaimer here. I am not a theologian. I did not go to seminary. I’m just a life-in-the-middle gal who believes in Jesus and has a few ideas to share. But lest you think I’m sitting in my ivory tower of wishful thinking, these words you’re about to read were born from suffering.

I’ve endured what many would say is every parent’s nightmare. In 2005, my five-year-old daughter, Emma, died in a fire that destroyed not only our home, but wrecked our lives. The destruction didn’t stop there. Eight years later, my marriage crumbled under the weight of grief.

As I sifted through the rubble, I searched for something —anything that would stabilize me. That would steady my faith and ground me so I could stand. So I could survive.

In those early days after Emma died, I sat with my journal and tried to read my Bible. Sorrow wrapped its fingers around my heart and squeezed until I could barely breath. Why did this happen? How could this happen? Where was God in the middle of all of this?

I searched the Scriptures for something to cling to, for truth to help make sense of the destruction death left in its wake. I stumbled across this truth:“Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13, NLT)

Nothing about my life felt good at that time. Truthfully, nothing about it was good. And yet I couldn’t ignore the words I just read.  Was it possible that God could be good even in this?

Searching for Goodness

I began to search for His goodness —His definition, not my own. I learned He is not a permissive parent, allowing us to gorge on every whim and desire like Pinocchio experienced on Pleasure Island. That place where boys did what they wanted and were as naughty as naught could be.

Was that the kind of life that was good? Not even according to Disney. Fast forward as we watch the magic of the island gradually turn boys who acted like jackasses into donkeys, sold into a lifetime of humiliation and slavery in circuses and mines. What looked like enjoyment and a life of freedom and fun, became a trap into a lifetime of bondage.

And yet our minds still struggle to reconcile the suffering we see with the God who loves us. We begin to assume that because there is suffering, He is not good. Pastor and author Tim Keller explains that for those confident of their own insight, suffering actually disproves the existence of God. They reason that if He really was good, He would want to end suffering. He could do that because He is all-powerful, but since there is evil and brokenness, they determine that God can’t be both, so they believe He is not good.

Jesus’ disciples were confident of their own insight when they saw a man blind from birth. They thought they knew the answer to why he suffered when they asked Jesus. Was it his sin? The sin of his parents? Jesus replied, “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sin. This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.” (John 9:3)

Searching for Truth

Because God is all-powerful, nothing is out of His control. While your world may feel chaotic, there is purpose. And because He is perfectly righteous, everything will work together for good in the end (Genesis 50:20).

Please hear me —death is never good. Jesus wept when he saw the grief from the death of His friend, Lazarus. He wept even though He was about to raise him from the dead. 

My daughter’s death will never be good. There are days when I long to hold her, to hear her giggles, to see her play with her sister. There are days when living with this distance between us is suffocating and I long for it to end, to be reunited with her.

It is in those moments when my grief feels heaviest that I’m able to turn to the One who loves me, who loves my sweet girl, and allow Him to wipe my tears and whisper truth to my soul.

You are loved, dear one.

I see your sorrow and I weep with you.

Just wait, dear one. Wait here with me, and I will wait with you. I will dry each tear and comfort each cry. I will remind you, for as long as it takes, that you are loved. That you are seen. That you are known. And that I am good.

I will show you things about this world, about yourself, about Me that you could never imagine on your own. I will reveal hidden mysteries and open your eyes to what I see. The beauty will overwhelm your sense and it will be a taste of what is to come.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared  . . . I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, ‘Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:1,3-4, NLT

Do you believe God is good even in the face of suffering? I’d love to chat with you. Please comment below or join the conversation on our Facebook page.Signature: Kim Findlay

When Our Tank Is Empty, What Do We Do?

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This month our Facets of Faith team has the great pleasure to share with you the thoughts of one of our sisters in Christ, Dawn Stewart.  She writes and speaks from a place of authenticity so lacking today. Her vulnerability shows others how to be real, open, and vulnerable so Jesus can be the soothing balm of our souls.  Sit back, settle in, and prepare to let God use one of His precious daughters to shine light in the darkness of our hearts when we need them fueled with hope.  (Haven’t we all been there before?) *smile *

How does prayer fuel our HOPE? (Guest)I have a really bad habit when it comes to caring for my vehicle.  I don’t do a great job paying attention to my fuel gauge.  Over the years, I have put myself in some very stressful situations because of this bad habit.  Like those crazy, hurried mornings when I have gotten the kids in the car just in time to make it to school only to realize I don’t know if I have enough gas to get them there.

I end up driving with my eyes constantly returning to the gas gauge, stomach in knots, and my thoughts beating me up for not being more responsible.   The guilt that my kids might be late because of my lack of intentionality eats at me. I can’t even enjoy my time with them in the car because I am so hyper-focused on the guilt I’m feeling. It’s stressful.  It’s emotionally and mentally chaotic. And, it’s absolutely unnecessary.  I have everything I need at my disposal to ensure I don’t end up in this situation.  I have the money for gas.  I have gas stations at nearly every corner.  I know how to put gas in my car.  I don’t even mind putting gas in my car.  I just don’t pay attention to the very thing that tells me when I need to take action.

My spiritual journey can get a lot like this as well.  I absolutely have a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical gas tank.  And when I start to run out of gas in any one of those areas, life gets really stressful, emotionally and mentally chaotic, and I end up spending a great deal of my energy focusing on the problems in my life instead of the good that is all around me.  Guilt runs rampant in my heart and consumes my time and energy.  It is just like the car ride, but on a much broader scale.  If I am not aware that my tanks are getting empty, and don’t take the necessary action to fill up, I end up feeling and behaving in ways that are unhealthy for me, for my family, and for those around me.

Each tank requires its own unique fuel and reveals its emptiness in its own way. My physical gas tank begins to get empty when I am not caring for my physical being with proper fuel – food, exercise, and healthy amounts of sleep and rest.  I become tired and weary, hyper-sensitive, and not very fun to be around.

My emotional tank becomes empty when I am not properly fueling my emotional being with times of fun mixed in with the responsibility of life.  I become too serious, easily irritated, frustrated, emotionally clingy and difficult to be around.

My mental tank becomes low when I am not fueling myself with healthy thoughts, positive self-talk, and encouragement. I catch myself having negative thoughts towards myself and others, and those thoughts quickly manifest themselves in negative attitudes and behaviors.

Of all the tanks I need to be paying attention to, my spiritual tank is by far the most important.  For 35 years of my life, I paid no attention to this area of my life.  It was dry as a bone.  I was so consumed with trying on my own strength to keep the other areas of my life fueled and so wrecked with stress because I could never seem to keep up with my own physical, emotional, and mental needs.  Eventually I just gave up and over time became extremely unhealthy in every area of life.  I felt hopeless. I became desperate for change, desperate for help – and it turns out that what I really needed was to begin filling the spiritual tank within me.  I had no idea it was even there.

My first real prayer was one of total desperation.  I couldn’t keep up with life anymore and recognized a need for God’s intervention.  And so I asked Him for help.  I could almost feel the water pour into the dry areas of my soul.  It was like rain falling in an area that has been wrecked with drought.  The more I sought the Lord’s intervention, the more I could feel my soul come to life.  I didn’t even know I was so parched with thirst!  Prayer was the fuel that brought hope into my life again!

I had such little understanding of prayer, but I knew that something in my life was changing.  Over time, I discovered that prayer is the lifeblood of my spiritual journey.  It is so much more than just words coming out of my mouth to a distant God.  True prayer is the very means of communication with an ever-present, living God!  It is a relationship building, soul drenching, heart healing interaction with the very One who created me!  I don’t need to have specific words to form the right prayer, to sound holy enough, or to make sure every need is delivered correctly to Him.  He doesn’t want my performance.  He wants my heart.

Prayer is a way that I hand my heart to the Lord.  It is a way that I come before God and spend time with Him.  It’s a way to both talk to and hear from the Father.  And it fuels my hope daily.  Prayer is the fuel for my spiritual tank.  And it is at my disposal 24-7. I don’t need to go to church to pray.  I don’t need to go anywhere.  I can talk to the Father right where I am, wherever I am.  And as I do that, He fuels my life with hope.  And from that hope – that confident expectation that God is and will always be present and working in my life – I am able to effectively fuel every other tank I have.  In fact, I would go as far as to say that my emotional, mental, and physical tanks are filled with the overflow that comes from my spiritual tank.  I make right choices for my physical self, my emotional self, and my mental self when I am in right relationship with the Father.  When my heart and mind are focused on His Kingdom first (see Matthew 6) the rest of my life comes into proper order.  It’s amazing to me.

I wish I did everything perfectly, but alas – I do not.  There are still some days that I don’t fuel my spiritual tank, and I feel the dryness start to creep back in.  I feel the irritation start to form in my mind again, and I watch my attitudes and behaviors become less than fun to be around.  I am grateful God always makes a way for me to see the gauge on my spiritual tank is getting empty and provides me with time and opportunity to fill it.

Recently, I started noticing my attitude toward my husband and our marriage slowly becoming more and more negative.  I was having a difficult time seeing him as the man God was forming and was paying attention (almost compulsively) to his character flaws. The joy in my heart was starting to wane and bitterness was creeping in.

At first, as is typical, I started thinking the problem was in our marriage and that my husband was becoming less and less interested in connecting with me and our marriage. The more I focused on thoughts like this, the more anxious and worried I began to become. At one point things were starting to feel so bleak inside I found myself wondering if my husband even liked me anymore.

One morning, I was discussing this with a friend and we decided to turn to the Lord in prayer. What ended up happening was that God started showing me I had stopped praying for my husband and our marriage.  And the reason that was impacting me so negatively was I had begun to place my hope in my husband instead of in my God.

As wonderful of a man as my husband is, he was never designed to be the source of my hope.  He is many things, but my hope is to be in the Lord! I am so grateful to have connected with God’s Word in community with a Sister in Christ. As a result of that time, I was able to confess and repent of my error in focus.  God put me back on the right train of thinking. Nothing else had changed. Now my thought life around my husband and our marriage is once again fueled with gratitude, love, appreciation, hope, and excitement for the future. My husband was never lacking in desire for me; I had started lacking in my desire for the Lord.  And He allowed me to feel the discomfort of my spiritual tank becoming empty, and provided me an opportunity to get it filled back up!

I see now how my entire life really is fueled by the One who created me in the first place.  My most important job is to connect to Him daily.  To sit with Him, give Him my heart, and spend time in His presence.  When I do that with consistency, I can rest assured that the other areas of my life will be cared for as well.

And, who knows, I might even get better at watching the fuel gauge on my car!

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Signature: Dawn Stewart