What Root Are You Tripping Over?

06.04.2019 by Tracy Stella //

The FACETS of Faith team is excited to share what God placed on our hearts for this month’s topic. Why? Because we believe God’s kids are going to get some freedom! That’s our prayer: freedom and fullness of life for all who read and engage with what God inspired us to write. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule. Snuggle up. Settle in. And let’s see what He has to say to us all. He’s given Kim, Jen, and our guest writer a voice in this as well. Can’t wait to see what God has to say through them too!

Life is full of moments, some of them defining. Choosing to forgive is one of them. I know forgiveness is complicated and getting to that place isn’t always easy. Forgiveness has its roots in love. Our lives are better for it. When we invest ourselves in the conscious choice to choose love, we win.

We can’t choose love if we don’t know who He is. Love is sacrificial like Jesus.

“If you have experienced the power of love and forgiveness in your life, you’ll probably give away a lot of both. …. We can reflect the angst we felt or the grace we’ve received.”1

At this point in my life, I’ve experienced God’s love in profound and deep ways. That wasn’t always the case. I didn’t always know His love for me. It was always there waiting. It just took me awhile to be ready to receive it. I pray you have encountered this love, a well so deep, a knowing so intimate and personal, and safe. Jesus, He’s safe. (I feel like someone needs to know that right here, right now.) If that’s you, you need to know Jesus is SAFE. I get that. And He is!

I’ve experienced deep violations in my life. Maybe you have too. The ones they write trauma recovery books about. If that’s you, I pray you open your heart to the safety who is Jesus. Let Him into your life. I promise, sweet one, He is safe, true, loving and kind. In fact, I just read this today. Perhaps, it’s for you.

The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.─Psalm 145:9

Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous─how well I know it.─Psalm 139:14

God made you. He thinks you’re marvelous! And He has compassion for you. He’s not looking at your situation through blind eyes. He knows you. He knows what hurts you. He knows what He has for you, and it’s so much greater than unforgiveness. He knows it will be hard, but He’s not asking you to do anything He wasn’t willing to do Himself.

Jesus forgave many who betrayed Him, belittled Him, and took advantage of Him when all He wanted to do was make this world and the people in it better, good.

Yes, He’s God. But He was also fully man. I’m grateful for that truth, because it helps me to know He understands. He understands, sweet one!

Forgiveness Frees Us from Tripping Over Pride’s Root

Unforgiveness has its roots in pride. How’s that, you ask?

If I choose not to forgive, it’s as if I’m saying my problem is bigger than my God. It’s as if I’m saying my thoughts are higher than His thoughts. It’s as if I’m saying I know more about what’s good for me than God does. The problem, the violation wasn’t good, but where God desires to bring us is good.

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.─Psalm 18:19 NIV

Forgiveness is the spacious place God desires to bring us to. It’s a peaceful place, one where we can breathe freely. Fully.

Does God have great grace for us on our journey toward forgiveness? You bet He does! And when we need to travel that path again, He’ll walk with us. Sometimes, it’s not as simple as merely saying, “I forgive you.” But it’s a good place to start.

Forgiveness is like a decadent wedding cake. There are many layers to it. God gets that, because He gets us. All He’s asking for us to do is bite into it. His promise is that we’ll taste His goodness when we do.

The thing that happened to us isn’t good, but God is. His desire is to set captives free. Forgiveness is a giant key that opens the door to our freedom.

Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.─Proverbs 16:18 NASB

Pride trips us up with a knotted root of unforgiveness.

On the other hand, forgiveness elevates us.

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.─Colossians 3:12-13 BSB

If you have accepted Christ into your heart, you ARE one of His elect, holy and beloved. Stop right there. You are holy. You are beloved.

From that position, clothe yourself with compassion and humility.

Forgive ANY complaint you have against one another.

Any.

(I know. I know. Sometimes, that’s hard. Don’t do it in your own strength. Do it in HIS.)

I’m forever taking the pressure off myself. There’s just too much in the world. A lot could weigh us down. We can’t get to where God is taking us if we let that happen. Choose to seek Him as you take a bite out of unforgiveness. Here’s a prayer to start:

Lord, You know my heart and You know every act committed against me. You also know the things I have done to hurt others. Thank You for Your gift of forgiveness to me, so that I don’t need to wear the weight of that burden. Help me, instead, Lord to put on your righteousness and holiness. Clothe me in Your love, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I can forgive if you help me to get there, Lord. Please bring me to that spacious place. Help me to bask in Your love and peace as I do so, Lord. In Jesus’ precious name, amen!

Forgiveness Frees Us to Receive God’s Abundance

When God knows He can trust us to forgive, He can trust us with more.

To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.─Matthew 13:12 NLT

Joseph comes to mind. He was deeply betrayed by his brothers. He was put in a well and left for dead, all because they were jealous and annoyed with their baby brother who had a God-given dream and needed some growing up to do as to how he shared it. He suffered and was estranged from his family, even his brother Ben (because I like to imagine Joseph called him that versus Benjamin). I drop syllables on people’s names whom I’m close to. Jennifer becomes Jen. Samuel becomes Sam. So in my mind, Benjamin is Ben to Joseph.

Joseph also lost time with his father who deeply loved him. He didn’t get to make the memories with his father that his other siblings did.

We’d understand if Joseph let a bitter root of unforgiveness take over like vines that cling to a brick façade. The vines eventually tear down the structure by weakening it.

Have you ever seen a home unattended to? After awhile things deteriorate. Go back decades later and its almost unrecognizable. Overgrown and in disrepair, its former beauty and purpose hidden.

That’s what can happen to people once happy, who get wounded by other broken people when we choose not to live in the freedom of forgiveness.

Talk about clothing himself in kindness, Joseph did that!

He could have turned his brothers away when they needed food. Instead he used wisdom to test their heart. And he blessed them greatly.

Notice what I wrote above. Joseph tested their motives. Sometimes, people still aren’t safe for us. Forgive them and move on.

But sometimes it’s safe to let people stay (or to let them back in). Pray on this. Ask for God’s wisdom and discernment. And if you’ve never read the story of Joseph, I encourage you to do so. If you have, maybe God is calling you to read it again. This time through the lens of forgiveness.

Joseph rose above circumstances and was given a position of honor and authority. Nothing could thwart God’s plan for Joseph’s life. To fulfill His plan for Joseph, it did require his obedience.

Remember, when God knows He can trust us with a little, He’ll give us more. I’m not saying it will be easy, but start with small acts toward forgiveness.

Practically, what does that look like?

First, ask God to fill you with His love. It’s only out of His overflow that we can sacrificially love. Not out of a place of lack, but of much love.

Second, you could go back up and pray the prayer if you didn’t earlier.

Third, you could ask God for His wisdom and discernment as to whom is safe for you and who is not.

Fourth, pray for the person, especially if he or she is still living. No one is beyond God’s reach. No one.

Fifth, remember, just because we’re supposed to forgive those who trespass against us doesn’t mean we give them full access to tramp upon our hearts. God will show you who and how much access to give.

Lastly, ask God if there is a tangible way you can demonstrate forgiveness.

Maybe there is an act of “releasing” that you can do, ceremonially, that releases that person or circumstance to God. Like planting a flower (a bulb) that symbolizes forgiveness coming up from the darkness. In the future, whenever you see the flower come up each spring, you’ll be reminded of the fresh renewal forgiveness brings.

Maybe it’s placing lights along your sidewalk as a reminder that God’s path is well lit and He’s leading you on a journey toward forgiveness. Every time you see the light, be reminded of Christ’s light and love for you as He leads you on the narrow path. But the path of forgiveness leads to goodness, peace, and truth. The one that leads you to Him.

For me I have another bite of wedding cake God is calling me to take. It’s an easier bite than those I took earlier. The lump in my throat from the pain of the situation made the first bites of forgiveness hard to swallow. That’s how it often is, but if we choose to chew the pain and let Christ help us, we’ll live vibrantly again. Fully. Wholly. Completely.

I don’t want to live a half-eaten life. I don’t only want the leftovers. I want a full plate of God’s goodness. So I’ll chew, even when it’s hard.

The person I’m feeling called to bless didn’t directly hurt me, but a shared circumstance did (kind of – it’s complicated – it’s life, after all). I’ve felt led to pray for this person, so I have. And now I am feeling led to bless the person, which I will do. I’ve been praying about how God would want me to bless this person. He’s given me a few ideas, and we’re still working out the details.

He just kind of dropped the idea in my brain yesterday while I was out on a motorcycle ride. (Because that’s one of the spacious places He brings me to where I find peace. The open road, the more winding the better.)

I cried a little underneath my helmet, not because I’m mad or upset anymore. I cried at God’s goodness. I knew I would never have been able to easily accept His idea to bless a person involved with a circumstance that had wounded me deeply if it hadn’t been for Him. They were kind of celebratory tears of sorts. The deep pain had turned to a “small scar”.

What happened didn’t go away, but the excruciating pain had. In its place was God’s love and peace and the ability to bless.

If that’s not a spacious place, I don’t know what is.

Forgiveness Frees Us to Take Up Great Causes

There’s a song by Francesca Battistelli that keeps going through my brain. The lyric is this:

“It’s your life–what you gonna do? The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who your heart beats for
It’s an open door”2

I want to win. Don’t you?

One of the ways we win is when we take our deepest tragedies and turn them into triumphs.

I think of the mom who lost her son in a terrible tragedy. MADD was started because a mom chose to do something worthy and worthwhile with her pain. She chose to invest in forgiveness and used that horrific event as a platform to make the world a better place.

I want that for us. I want each of us to have the courage to take some of the darkest moments of our lives and turn them into something beautiful with Christ’s help. That is my prayer for all who are reading this.

How that looks for you will be dramatically different than how it looks for me. We don’t need any copycats. We are all originals, made in God’s image, but with a specific plan and purpose. I pray God shows you what that is and how to take the dark moments of your life and turn them into something beautiful. Only He has the power to do that, to transform our thinking (and our theology). Forgive. Love. Live. Go on vacation from the enemy’s tricks and choose God’s way.

If you’ve ever been to Hawaii, you know how breathtaking it is. I’ve visited the island of Kawaii a few times. It’s nothing short of paradise. (And it always reminds me of Fantasy Island since the opening scene was shot there.) You may already know this, but for those of you who don’t, the islands were formed from volcanic eruptions. From something cataclysmic, beauty emerged. When the lava cooled, it left something to build upon.

“Somewhere along the way, a lot of us misplaced our childlike imaginations and stopped believing we could either get around the lava or build something beautiful on top of it when it cooled. We began to question what was possible and what we’re actually capable of. We ran and fell, or tried and failed, or risked and lost. … Don’t let what’s happened in your past stop you from moving forward with your future. Give it some time. We can find our way around the lava where it flowed and build something beautiful on it when it cools. … We don’t need to run from the lava anymore, but instead imagine what it might become in time.”1

Isn’t that beautiful? I’ve been very touched by the book Love Lives Here. If you’re looking for your next book, this is a good one!

There was a dream I had. It got scorched. I could relate to the lava metaphor. It was like I had something – a dream God had given me – and it was burned to the ground. All that was left were ashes and a broken heart. The lava flowed and consumed it. It oozed and clung, ember red, everything up in flames. Then fear that hadn’t been there before set in. Fear interfered like an intruder. The scars limited my mobility. My imagination wasn’t able to stretch as far as it once had.

But rather than letting the lava scare me, I feel God calling me to rebuild upon the ashes. To let any little embers remaining spark something good and beautiful, something purposeful.

God is calling me to imagine again.

I wrote in my journal, “Lord, if I imagined, what? What then?”

As I did so, tears quickly slipped down my face. They poured. Not anything like lava. Like a rush.

“What then? I do not know. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. I don’t know even if I can. What, Lord? What then? What do You have to say about this? What does the still, small voice say?”

And do you know what? He “spoke”. He cast vision afresh. He knows I’m afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again. I wasn’t afraid the first time, but sometimes the second time around makes our knees knock a bit. (At least mine.)

It takes more courage to do something twice.

We know more. We know the cost. We’re definitely counting it.

Without forgiveness, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. God helped me to forgive. He helped me to heal. And He’s helping me to rise up out of the ashes. There’s still some ash, but I see hibiscus rising up out of the ground. The colors are bright and their smell is sweet.

We’re back to where we started.

Let’s pick up our feet and step over the tangled root of unforgiveness. God’s got places He wants to take us to.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1 Goff, Maria. Love Lives Here: Finding What You Need In A World Telling You What You Want. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2017.

2 Battistelli, Francesca. “It’s Your Life,” track #4 on My Paper Heart. Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group, CAPITOL CHRISTIAN MUSIC GROUP, 2008.

Do You See What I See?

12.05.2017 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith. Merry Christmas! I (Tracy) pray you see Christ in meaningful fashion as you read each of our perspectives this month. It’s a sweet season. Slow down. Savor Him. Look for Him with intention. Lord, help Your precious children see You for all You are to them and others. Reveal Yourself in this season where hearts are open in a special, tender way. In Jesus’ name, amen.

When you consider Christ, what do you see?

I see what I need depending upon what season I am in. I’m not talking about Christmas, Easter, winter or spring. I’m referring to my state of mind. Where am I at in life? How am I feeling about that? What are my present needs? Hopes? Hurts? Aspirations?

Do you see what I see?

What I see is who I need Jesus to be in that very moment.

I’m a woman. My needs fluctuate. You too? I can be on top of a mountain and want to twirl with Jesus like Julie Andrews singing, The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music. The hills alive, because I feel alive. Fresh, green, vibrant as the landscape echoing songs of jubilation back to me. You’re alive! Doesn’t if feel fabulous to breathe deep and take it all in? The score dramatic as my life and music create a crescendo, a beautiful chorus where people want to join in. In these moments, I see my need for a Dance Partner to twirl with me.

Not every day is a Julie Andrews kind of day. Sometimes it’s more like Alanas Morissette. I hate the world today. Angsty. Angry. Grrr. You wake up scrubbing sleep from your eyes, realize you are out of coffee, stub your toe on the sharp edges of your coffee table, creating the need to hop out your pain. All the while you think, Maybe I should go back to bed and toss the covers over my head, darkness beneath the blankets matching bleakness of this day. In these moments, I see my need for an Encourager to move me from sulking to singing.

Perhaps the darkness is more serious than a minor toe-stubbing nuisance. A diagnosis that feels gloomy. A marriage in disrepair. A dream dead. Loved ones lost, not knowing a Savior. In times of lament, I see Him as my greatest Comfort, the One I cannot do without.

That’s life, right? Ups AND downs. How do we deal with all that? We don’t get to pluck the good out and leave behind the things we’d rather not have. That’s not how life works, unfortunately. God said, in this life we would have trouble (John 16:33). Sometimes, that’s what we have.

But we also have hope. And we have a Savior. We have salvation for our souls when we say “yes” to Jesus and surrender our lives to Him. We have salvation for each and every day. The hard days when we want to sit in a puddle and fling mud all over ourselves to match our mood. The good days when our hearts are bursting full of joy, and we get to celebrate with the Only One who really knows what it took to get to the top of life’s mountains.

Do you see what I see?

I see a God who sees me and you.

We could try to explain to others every step that stretched us out of our comfort zone as we climbed that mountain. But we don’t need to explain to God. He gets it. Because He gets us. It is glorious that He gets us.

The fact that He gets me, gets me through.

He’s also the first One I want to run to when I’ve got good news. He is my Confidant. I can confide in Him about ANYTHING. He is trustworthy. If you don’t know that, I pray you come to know it. If you do, I pray He gives you fresh revelation of that truth today.

Do you see what I see?

I see a trustworthy God.

Then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” Luke 1:42 NKJV

Above are the words Elizabeth spoke to her pregnant cousin Mary─Mary, the one who needed to trust God with her reputation and her future.

I love that Elizabeth didn’t use her inside voice. She proclaimed in a loud voice words to the effect of, Mary, do you realize how blessed you are? You carry the Christ! Who get’s to do that? You are carrying THE Blessing! Can you believe how blessed you are?

Elizabeth saw the blessing before Christ was born. Her attentive eyes of faith saw the beauty Mary carried in her. She saw Christ, our blessing.

Do you see what I see?

I see Christ our blessing. Do you see it too? Do you see Him as a blessing? Do you see that sweet precious baby born to a virgin as a blessing? He is you know. Even if you know Him and you love Him, do you really understand the depth of His blessing as He came through the womb of an innocent, pure, normal-until-that-day young woman?

It makes me wonder what Jesus saw in Mary that He would give her that kind of trust.

Mary faced hard circumstances. Judgement, I’m sure, from people who didn’t understand her situation. It was rather unbelievable, like many things of faith. God isn’t logical, practical, or fully comprehensible. It’s what makes Him God and requires our faith.

Do you see what I see?

I see a God who sees beyond who we are to whom we will become.

God saw a young woman whom He knew with His help would be strong enough to carry Him and care for Him in spite of what others might think. He gave her a close confidant in Joseph. God knew she’d need him to help her fulfill her calling. Angels were sent to Joseph too. He knew what God asked of him as well. Sacrifice. They both sacrificed much so that one day their precious baby boy could become our Sacrifice, the Sacrifice that saved the world —including you and me.

Do you see what I see?

Baby born to save the world through every day people.

Without the courage, trust, and belief of Mary and Joseph, we wouldn’t have our Christ. (Admittedly, God would have used someone else to deliver us. But because they were courageous, He didn’t have to.) What courage, trust, and belief is God calling you to? What won’t the world have if you don’t step into it?

“But why is this granted to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?” Luke 1:43 NKJV

Do you see what I see?

I see our Lord.

Like Elizabeth, we were given a Lord. He’s ahead of us in this matter. Waiting in the wings for each of us to say yes to Him as Leader of our lives. He wants to be, if we’ll let Him. We get choice. We get to choose Him as Lord (or not).

He’ll meet us on our most difficult days, like He ended up doing for his precious mama the day she looked on and saw her son, the Son, hanging on a cross willing to die for you and me. Before He did so, Jesus made sure His mama would be well-cared for by His closest companion, John, the disciple whom He loved. My friend, John, the one I love. I need you to love my mama. I know you will. I trust you to care for her. You’ve learned from me. Now take care of her. She’s going to need you. And I know you won’t let me down. That is a dark, desperate mama day. Literally, at Jesus’ death the skies turned dark (Mark 15:33). Mary’s Lord made sure she wasn’t left alone.

When Mary sat in Elizabeth’s kitchen (where I visualize her because that’s where good conversation often takes place) and heard these words, I don’t think she could have imagined that dark day.

“For indeed, as soon as the voice of your greeting sounded in my ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy. Blessed is she who believed, for these will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.” Luke 1:44-45 NKJV

Do you see what I see?

I see blessing born from belief.

Mary was told she would have a child, and He would save the world. He did. And He does. Jesus saves.

John the Baptist leaped in his mother’s womb for joy at the encounter with Christ. The stirring inside Elizabeth revealed to her Mary carried the Savior of the world.

Mary was given the immense privilege to care for the long-awaited Promise. Scripture fulfilled because she said “yes”.

Do you see what I see?

I see Jesus, our source of joy.

When we recognize Jesus, we see our source of all joy. Even a babe in a womb recognized it and leaped. Nothing else can bring joy like Jesus. The world will present all sorts of false narratives about what brings joy: buy me, try me, play me, let me play with you, idolatry.

Make no mistake. Joy to the world comes only through Christ.

When I look at Christ, I see joy. I see Him look upon us, me, with adoration in spite of my messy, muddled up attempts at living life for Him. I imagine His eyes twinkling as He looks upon me. She’s mine. That one with the freckles. She makes me smile. Knowing He delights in me in spite of my sin (not because of it, in spite of it) brings me joy. He loves you in spite of your sin too; I hope you bask in great joy over that truth.

What struck me today as I wondered about what I see when I look at Christ is how He chose to introduce Himself to you and me. A baby. A baby born to a previously unknown, unpretentious, betrothed woman who the town probably thought of as tainted trash, because they couldn’t see the truth. A baby born to a virgin.

Jesus could have chosen any way to come. He chose this one. I believe He really wants us to notice how He came.

Do you see what I see?

I see a Savior who made Himself vulnerable and humble. That’s how He came.

Not a warrior. Not a knight. Not a king the way we’d expect THE King. When I look at Christ as a baby born to brave, young Mary I see Him as vulnerable and humble.

I don’t want to move on from that. I think that’s His main point to this piece.

He came in vulnerability and humility.

He is our model. He is our ultimate Mentor. He wants me and you to live vulnerable and humble too. It’s how people will see Him.

Vulnerability and humility are not in vogue. That’s okay. The things of Christ aren’t necessarily in vogue with society. The Pharisees couldn’t see Christ because He came in such a vulnerable, humble way. They expected some grand entrance, or at least a grand gesture. Can we have a little fan-fare please?

That wasn’t the way of Christ.

He chose a different fashion to reveal Himself to us. He expects us to do life different too.

When I look at Christ today, I see vulnerability and humility and the blueprint on how to live my life for Him. Christmas, Easter, and every seeming insignificant day. Maybe it’s in the seeming insignificant days we reflect Him most.

This Christmas, I pray we respond like Mary when He calls us to Him and His purposes. I pray we see Him and we help others see Him too.

And Mary said,

I’m bursting with God-news;

I’m dancing the song of my Savior God.

God took one good look at me, and look what happened─

I’m the most fortunate woman on earth!

What God has done for me will never be forgotten,

the God whose very name is holy, set apart from all others.

His mercy flows in wave after wave

on those who are in awe before him.

He bared his arm and showed his strength,

scattered the bluffing braggarts.

He knocked tyrants off their high horses,

pulled victims out of the mud.

The starving poor sat down to a banquet;

the callous rich were left out in the cold.

He embraced his chosen child, Israel;

he remembered and piled on the mercies, piled them high.

It’s exactly what he promised,

beginning with Abraham and right up to now.

─Luke 1:46-55 The Message

What do you see this Christmas as you look toward Christ?

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

How Has God Brought Life and Liberty to You?

07.04.2017 by Tracy Stella //

If you’re an American, you’ve probably heard the expression “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Surrender.”

What’s that? That’s NOT what the Declaration of Independence says?

“Oh,” she says sheepishly. “That’s right. Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Yeah, yeah, that’s it! Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Well, this month at Facets of Faith we explore “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Surrender”─no disrespect to our nation’s founding fathers. Settle into a cozy chair, put up your pedicured toes (after all it is summer), and sip on some iced tea as you read about life, liberty and the pursuit of surrender.

I (Tracy) kick us off. Jennifer and Kim follow in the weeks ahead, so don’t miss their contribution to the conversation. Feel free to chime in yourself. We’d love to hear your life, liberty and pursuit of surrender stories too!

Have you ever lay dream-filled eyes on something and thought, “Now that’s what I want for myself”? Most of us want life. Most of us want liberty. And most of us want happiness. But surrender? Forget about it!

What might me miss if we decide not to embrace surrender with a welcoming hug? What if we bristle like a cactus and back away from God? “Don’t touch me! Quit poking! That hurts!”

Let’s face it. Sometimes surrender does hurt. Sometimes surrender keeps poking and prodding as we feel like an ember as the fire glows orange. Surrender’s heat sanctifies. Surrender’s heat says, I’ve got a better way. Surrender’s heat says, Follow me into the fiery furnace.

Who wants to join me?

Now don’t everyone raise their hands at once!

What’s the problem when we don’t surrender? (Every time God asks us to)

We’re not going to find liberty. We’re not going to live as God intended, and that’s no way to live at all. Christ died so we could have abundant life. In light of His sacrifice, why wouldn’t we want to live our lives to the fullest, even if it requires surrender that sometimes pokes and prods a bit more than we wish?

Our selfish, sinful nature says, I want what I want. Whatever makes me happy? I’ll grab at that!

We may or may not recognize our behavior, but we all have a sin nature. Awareness is what helps us surrender it to God bit by bit. Some things God shows me as sin now, I would never have recognized as such years ago.

Subtly, slowly (but then again not) He sets me a little freer. Each decision of surrender moves me closer to whom God intended me to be all along. Pure. Holy. Righteous.

I’m already Beloved. You too! Those other bits? They’re the work God is moving toward as He paints His masterpiece in each of us. We’re His workmanship and we’re made in His image. That’s why, if we love Him, we’ve got to cooperate with His plan.

Cooperation requires surrender to His authority.

I don’t always understand God’s plan. That’s good. It grows my faith. It grows me. Growing pains aren’t just for teenage boys.

Sometimes the growth, and the pain in that growth, helps me to have humility─not something that comes naturally to most. Certainly not to me. I, Me, My … not so humble.

And this is from a woman who wants to be, who loves Jesus, loves herself, and loves others albeit very imperfectly! But my “want to” isn’t broken. I want to do what God wants me to do. I want to be who God wants me to be. But oh brother can I not be sometimes!

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

God walked me through a situation where I didn’t meet someone’s expectations. It was devastating to my spirit. I’ve spent a lifetime of trying to do my best, to be my best and always put my best foot forward — perfectly. Everything in order. Everything just so. Best, best, best — must always do the best. Root deep, God keeps ripping away at it. Like a weed, He’s going to pull it all the way out. Ouch!

Why?

None of that matters! None of it! It doesn’t mean the people aren’t important. It doesn’t mean the project wasn’t important. It means I matter to God more than what He asked me to do.

What’s one thing I learned in my surrender moment?

I matter more to God than what He asks me to do. And He wanted to know if His approval mattered to me enough to outweigh others who didn’t see what I accomplished, didn’t see sacrifices made. Would His approval be enough? Would it be okay to my identity, my self-esteem if no one beside Him recognized one thing I did in that season?

I didn’t like it at first. I got mad. I’m used to relying on my performance. It’s been an AWESOME coping mechanism.

coping mechanism

noun, Psychology.

1. an adaptation to environmental stress that is based on conscious or unconscious choice and that enhances control over behavior or gives psychological comfort.

Compare defense mechanism (def 2).1

The problem with coping mechanisms is it’s all about cover up. Cover Girl doesn’t have anything on this girl’s coping mechanisms God’s chipping away at.

Do you see the key word in the definition? Control! And a close runner up? Psychological comfort!

I had poured my heart and soul into this project, and no one noticed (or so it seemed). It’s as if God blinded their eyes from seeing what I know and those in my inner circle know. Beyond that? Blind as a bat. Would I be okay with that?

I opened the gift God intended.

Yes! Yes, I would be okay with that!

Others’ blindness to my performance gave me freedom. It stung at first, like when sweat drips down into your eyes from hard work. But then, God gave me new vision, He removed the salty tears that blurred and gave me perspective.

I surrendered to Him, audience of One whose eyes see all that I do, all that you do too. He doesn’t miss a thing.

He says, Good job! I see you. I love you! You are Mine. I know this was a hard lesson for you to learn, but isn’t it liberating? You’re not measured by what you do. I want more than that for you. You don’t have to try so hard. Rest in Me. Listen for My voice. Please Me. Don’t worry about the others. Perhaps when the time is right I will reveal to them. For now, you’ve learned a valuable lesson. I love you no matter what! And you will not always meet other people’s expectations no matter what you do, so stop trying so hard to do so. Just do what I ask you to do. No more. No less. No matter what, you are enough. Remember what I told you. You are good enough and sometimes good enough is good enough.

For a woman who has had a tight grip on performance as her security blanket, that sentiment feels foreign, yet liberating to my ears.

God set me a little more free. I stopped striving to earn other’s approval. And in turn I got me back, only a better version, a bit more sanctified. I got a little scorched by the flame. It hurt. But God made it all better in a way only He can. I do care what He thinks. And I’m growing to know I do make Him happy. It’s hard to imagine in my sinful, fallen state.

Coping mechanisms have a way of holding us hostage. God sets His captives free! I don’t have to be an overachiever to be appreciated. Praise Jesus!

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Surrender. Perhaps that’s the key to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. The more I surrender, the happier I become.

What about you? How has God brought life and liberty as you pursue surrender?

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1”Dictionary.com.” Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com n.d. Web. 29 June 2017. <http://www.dictionary.com/>