Identity Archives – Page 2 of 6

Who Am I? God, You Say…

09.17.2019 by Jennifer Howe //

Welcome to FACETS, friend. I (Jennifer) am so glad you stopped to read on this month’s topic, Who do You (God) say that I am? We’re thinking about our identity through the eyes of God, and the thoughts promise to be rich, personal, and encouraging. You can read Tracy’s thoughts here. We’re holding space for you. The Facets have thoughts to share, but your heart-shares are important to the conversation. Join us?

Who am I?

In elementary school I thought the meaning of my name was everything. Later, I believed what I said, thought, and did defined me. As an adult I introduce myself to others and share sound bites to communicate who I am.

We live in a culture that tries to group, categorize, and “type” everything out there. We describe people with those labels, and we often seek them out.

Female. Survivor. Control freak. Tony’s wife. Two adult sons’ mom. Animal lover. Singer. Writer-editor. Enneagram 5 with balanced wings (looking like a 1 in a tight spot). The rare INTJ combination. Facebook quiz-taker for more specialized personality-type information. (Who doesn’t want to know which character comes up in the Lord of the Rings Meyers-Briggs quiz?) Something down deep says, “Tell me who I am!”

All the wrong places…

We look in strange places for affirmation and clarity, don’t we? I don’t put much weight in the online quizzes but probably give them more time and energy than they deserve. I’m more likely to look to my relationships.

Husband, tell me—am I good enough? Do you still love me after all these years?
Son, I spent so much energy “not being your friend.” Do you still want to spend time with me?
Friend, do you value our time together? Do you value me?
Supervisor, is my work good enough? Am I useful?

These aren’t the exact words, but in quiet moments when I examine my relationships, I feel emotions from thoughts like these surfacing.

The company we keep…

Relationship. We might define ourselves by the company we keep. I always reminded my boys, “You might become who you hang with—” (Proverbs 13:20 ). When I married I worked through an identity shift every time I signed my name (I wrote some goofy hybrid of a letter for weeks every time I got to my last name). Now I was part of the new family my husband and I became. I joined communities of people, too: a church, a neighborhood, a workplace. Because I identified with these people in some kind of personal or professional relationship, my identity had slivers of connection that seemingly belonged to them.

The primary relationship…

Reasons and seasons can shape our friendships and connections. Once upon a time I had long, beautiful conversations with a friend nearly every day, and then life stages and availability changed things. Once upon a time feels very far away some days. Do you have a relationship like that? A little faded but precious nonetheless? The reason or season we connect can shift, and it can be painful in the “letting go,” right? (So you know, I am *not* a fan of the “for a time” thing when it’s an excuse to relieve brokenness in a relationship!)

Know what I know? There is only one (1!) relationship that transcends all reasons and seasons: the completely loving, sacrificial, adoption into to our heavenly Father’s family through Jesus’ death and resurrection and the moment-by-moment counsel and partnership with His Spirit. If this is permanence both here and in eternity, I’m in! By this adoption, I know my identity changes significantly forever.

I am…

When I humbly come to the throne of the King of the universe as a daughter, the relationship to the all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present, merciful, and gracious God—Whew! Think about THAT!—I’m identified with and by Him!

He says I am—

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it—the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus Romans 2:21-24

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God John 1:12

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth…For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:14, 16

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser…I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:1, 5

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15

“But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me. John 15:26

I don’t know if you see a “John 15” theme here, but I do. That’s one place in Scripture where we can find golden nuggets that call out the goodness of God in relationship to Him. There are so many places, though! The Word of God specifically expresses the heart, mind, and will of God. Drink it in, friend! Regularly.

Fill the Void

We should fill that identity void with the richness of our relationship to our Father, the Creator and King of the universe, the God with us and within us. (Mmm—that beautiful Trinity that our God is! That’s how He gives all of Himself to us!) We are refined and defined by our relationship to Him.

What do you think about that? I might cry when I begin to get a small glimpse or grasp of it all. You, too? Share below or at our Facebook page.

Ponder this:
Where do you look to define your identity?
Who or what tells you who you are—really?
Which relationship speaks the loudest to your mind and heart about your identity?
How do you know who’s telling you who you are?
Do you know (and believe!) who you are in God’s eyes?

Who do You say I am?

09.10.2019 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to Facets of Faith! We pray you meet God across the pages of this blog, and His message reaches each person as He intends. We pray you experience God, that His message is always what is heard in love and truth that delivers freedom, beauty and boldness, in each of us – whether reader, writer, or both. Check back each week to see what else God has to share with us on this topic. He has many vantage points. It’s important we see each as He reveals His heart to us.

Who do You say I am? I suppose there could be several responses to that question. However, one message rises to the surface like a diver who comes up out of the deep, dark water to breathe salty fresh air. Breathe deep into lungs screaming for oxygen before you fill them with the freshness of freedom. Breath. Air. Life. Vital and above the surface. That’s where freedom lies too. Above the surface and in the truth.

God says I am freedom. I am freedom for me, and I am freedom for others. Let me explain.

So many of us walk around subconsciously holding our breath, conforming even when we might wish to go our own way. Trying to fit in, wondering if we ever will. Oh, we might not share those thoughts with the world at large, but inner insecurities whisper and taunt.

“Not good enough.”

“They don’t really like you.”

“You don’t fit in.”

“You’re not one of ‘them’ and you never will be.”

“There’s no hope for you. Your future is futile.”

Or whatever other flavor of lie the enemy is serving up that day. “Not good enough” was probably one of his favorites for me.

Those were the words the enemy used to taunt me, day in and day out. He knew my vulnerabilities, and he wasn’t above using them against me. But God has been doing a good work in my life for quite some time now. He doesn’t just bring me freedom. He says freedom DEFINES me. Freedom is who I am. That truth is a game changer my friends!

Recently, my husband Sam had to endure an hour long + car ride with me to Wheaton. We were in route to an intimate gathering among people I mostly didn’t know. These were probably smart theologian types. After all we were going to Wheaton. Billy Graham attended Wheaton Bible College, don’t ya know? The plan was to meet the author of a marriage book, listen to a talk, and the nemesis to a person like me who is better one on one than in a non-structured group setting … informal mixing. Ugh!

Give me a girlfriend one on one and I am good. More than good. That’s my sweet spot. But group settings without structure? Torture! Pure torture!

Or at least those settings used to be. God’s bringing me into the light of His truth: Freedom. Unfortunately, my husband had to endure my lesson our entire car ride to Wheaton.

Tap. Tap. Tap on Sam’s arm.

Me – motioning from head to toe and in my most sassy voice – “This is what freedom looks like.”

Tap. Tap. Tap on Sam’s arm.

Me – motioning from head to toe and in my most sassy voice – “This is what freedom looks like.”

Tap. Tap. Tap on Sam’s arm.

Me – motioning from head to toe and in my most sassy voice – “This is what freedom looks like.”

Over and over (I’m not even sure how many times Sam had to listen to that sassy soundtrack). He signed up for it when he chose me as his wife. He is stuck with me for life! That there is some freedom to put on your sassy hat, my friends. Poor guy. Lucky me,

Why was that a message of freedom?

Well, I think partly I needed to remind myself to just be me. God made me. And He made me good (not perfect, but good).

One of the most telling truths that I am freedom came from what I didn’t do, rather than what I did.

I didn’t feel like getting dressed up. I didn’t feel like trying to dress a certain way to fit in with the rest of the group. How we dress can be used as armor. I’ve done that before. I love fashion, so it’s not always about armor —but sometimes how I dressed was absolutely about armor. I “grew up” in corporate America in the late 80’s and 90’s and beyond. Those early days were all about the power suit. That mentality can be tough to set aside.

But now that I am freedom, I wore my black jeans and grabbed my zip up sweatshirt (not even a cute cardigan, ladies)!

It wasn’t that I didn’t care about the presenter. It wasn’t that I was trying to be, well, anything other than myself in that moment. I promise, there will be plenty of moments when I want to get all girly with skirts, jewelry, and sparkly things. Sunday night just wasn’t one of them.

The freedom came because I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. There was no need to do that. None!

There will be people who “get me”. There will be people who won’t. That’s okay.

There will be people who “get you”. There will be people who won’t. That’s okay. You be you anyhow! You be freedom.

For freedom Christ freed us. Stand fast therefore and do not be entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”─Galatians 5:1 MEV

Freedom doesn’t mean reckless abandon, do what I want, narcissistic behavior. The world has enough of that. The world is entangled in that. Sinful choices are bondage. They hurt us. They hurt others. That’s captivity – not freedom.

I have a plethora of examples even from my own life. Sin on whichever side of it you are sitting -the person doling out sinful behavior or on the receiving end of someone else’s sinful choices – is bondage. It hurts. We were never designed for sin. (See Genesis 1-3)

Christ died to free us. He died so I could be freedom. He died so you could be freedom.

What if we were that diver, delving in the ocean of life only to get snarled in seaweed and unable to escape? That entanglement would keep us where we are at and may eventually pull us under. That’s what sin does.

We do have free will. We get to choose. Just know when we choose sin, we aren’t choosing freedom for us or anyone around us.

Freedom wants us to break out our spiritual sword and cut through those entanglements of sin’s lies. There are all sorts of lies sin tells us.

When we say we’re not good, we’re saying God’s works aren’t good – that He’s somehow insufficient and unqualified to create beauty in each of us. That’s sin.

I bet you thought I might talk about addiction, adultery, stealing, lying. Yes, those are sin too. Those choices don’t lead to freedom either.

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead. use your freedom to serve one another in love.─Galatians 5:13 NLT

We shouldn’t use our freedom to satisfy our sinful nature. When we do, we hurt ourselves. When we do, we hurt others.

Freedom in God’s eyes is to serve one another in love. We need to love ourselves well in order to do that. We need to know who we are as God’s children. We are freedom. He died so we could be freedom. He longs for us to be free. He longs for those in our lives to be free.

When I think of all the unnecessary pain I caused myself and others from my sinful choices, I could lament and pull myself into the inky ocean of regret. But that doesn’t serve a good purpose and it doesn’t embody the freedom Christ died to give me, to define me as. We all have things we wish would have went differently in life.

Freedom takes those choices and learns from them.

Sam & I sat at the Wheaton gathering listening to the speaker share his thoughts on “Emotional Pain Words”. The author shared how God uses our marriage union (in part) to help each other heal. I agree. But what I noticed as I glanced through the list of emotional pain words is what God has done in my life. Instead of seeing emotional pain words I was experiencing, I saw what God delivered me from and who God has made me to be. Freedom.

As I scanned the extensive list of pain words, I wanted to write “BC” next to many of them. Before Christ these were experiences or false beliefs I’d possessed.

I saw my old self in many of the words. I used to believe these lies as truth about me. Things like, suicidal, not cherished, despair, controlled, dishonored, shamed, unwanted, and terrified. Truth be told, I used to be able to relate to almost all of the emotional pain words on the list.

But as I glanced through the words that used to define me. I allowed Gods new word to define me. Freedom!

I’m no longer any of those false beliefs. I’m me. Redeemed and made new, imperfect yet pure and righteous in God’s eyes. That doesn’t mean God and I still don’t need to work on some things, but believe me when I tell you, “Wow! He delivered me from much!”

I’m one if His daughters who knows who He is because He knew me first and He went out of His way to court me. It’s in His love that we experience His healing which leads to full freedom.

God teaches us how to live lives defined by freedom. Day in, day out, when we listen to Him, when we immerse ourselves in the truth of His Word, He points us to freedom.

I heard a message on Sunday I’d like to briefly share.

Before entering the Promised Land, twelve men were sent ahead to survey the land. Ten came back and only saw the insurmountable obstacle of an enemy they felt they couldn’t defeat. These ten saw themselves as grasshoppers. Small. Easy to defeat. Only Joshua and Caleb saw themselves as God had made them, able to conquer and overcome obstacles, able to defeat the enemy and enter into the Promised Land. The ten didn’t. The two did.

Which do we want to be?

Friend, I encourage you to choose freedom’s choice. Be the two who see all the beauty and potential God has placed within you. He is SO GOOD! And He creates REALLY GOOD things. You. Me.

God was leading the Israelites out of captivity and into the Promised Land. His mission is the same today. He’s leading us out of captivity and into the vast Promised Land of freedom.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.─2 Corinthians 3:17 HCSB

I pray you experience God’s presence and the infilling of His spirit in your heart. I pray we each let His Spirit guide us to the Promised Land called Freedom. I pray our identity embodies freedom.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. God says I am freedom. If you know Him, you are freedom too!

And if you don’t know Him, it’s simple. Day by day give God full access to your heart. He will help you. He will hold you. He will comfort you. He will teach you. You don’t have to do life by yourself. He is your Father. He is your Friend. If you give him permission to lead and guide your life, you’ll look back one day amazed at the beauty He has brought into your life. He brings us to a spacious place. A place where we can breathe life’s vitality. A place where we grow more and more free as we surrender to Him. It sounds impossible, but it’s absolutely true. The more we surrender, the more beautiful freedom He brings in our lives. He shows me things about me I never even knew. He brings new joys. He brings new hopes and vision. I pray you know and experience that too. It’s wonderful, sweet friend!

If you are ready for that measure of freedom and love, you can pray this prayer.

Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross to cover ALL my sin, so I can be COMPLETELY free. Please bring full freedom to me through Your saving grace. Thank You that I don’t have to muster up the will to change myself, but that You will change my heart and mind to align with Your thoughts, Your ways. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your peace. Please guide me each day through both: Your love and Your peace. I surrender my heart to You. I am choosing You out of my own free will so You can bring FULL freedom. In Jesus’ name, amen!

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you remain in My word, then you are truly My disciples. You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s seed and have never been in bondage to anyone. Why do You say, ‘You shall be set free’?”

Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave to sin. Now a slave does not remain in the house forever, but a son remains forever. Therefore, if the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed”.─John 8:31-36 MEV

You shall be free indeed!

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Woman.of.God

05.28.2019 by Mackenzie Carter //

Welcome to FACETS and spring (for real)! I (Tracy) can’t wait to introduce you to Mackenzie Carter as she shares her writing and communication gift with us. Truth be told, as I read her piece ahead of time, it moved me. A lot! I pray God touches your heart through it at least as much as He moved mine. Rhema. A good word, fresh and in season for all God’s girls.

I wish I could say that I am an expert on this subject, that I have steadily walked this out with beautiful grace and dignity, but that would not be true.

I stumble and fall – quite literally

all. the. time.

I have allowed myself to be tossed about with emotions and questions throughout the last twenty-two years of following Christ. I have struggled with shame. I often feel I am not deep enough, a bit quirky, and maybe a little too loud and excited for most. Questions often fill my mind – Am I ok? Do I belong? Who am I?

What would I want preached to myself during all those times that I question or stumble?

Fellow women of God, maybe you need to hear this too.

Quit trying to earn everyone’s love.

Jesus loves you. The King of the Universe. Live your life falling more and more in love with Him.

Though sometimes it may feel this way, God is not mad at you. He doesn’t pace back and forth in heaven frustrated as He thinks about you. He is not the voice of the critic in your head. It is quite the contrary. When God thinks about you and I, a smile warms His face. A love that can never be squandered fills His heart for you. His thoughts about you are kind. His plans for you are good.

When Jesus died on the cross – you were on His mind. His blood covers you. He breaks strongholds. Fear and shame flee at the sound of His Name. You have been made into a new creation. There has never been a day that He has left you alone. He delights in YOU and I. He is proud of you. He will be faithful through all your years. In the midst of insecurity and doubt, you are held, known, seen, and loved.

Anchor yourself in the Word of God. It is your steady in a world of turbulence.

Being a woman of God inherently means knowing Whose you belong to and Who defines you. Honestly, it is way too easy to look around, desperately trying to find affirmation from likes and hearts on social media, peers, what group we belong to, or our titles. You are a woman of God – OF GOD – not of the world, not of Insta or Facebook. Our worth – the meaning of our lives can only come from one place if we are to be truly satisfied. That place is Jesus. The faithful One. The One who invites us to follow Him and find our identity in Him.

My friend, we were meant to live an abundant life of abiding in Jesus. That is where true joy and satisfaction are found. We are daughters of the King. We are women of the Word – the unchanging, never wavering Word of God. Culture shifts, the trends change, but the Word of God remains the same. It is this – the Word of God that defines who we are as a women of God.

Take hold of the Word – read it, believe it, and live it out.

Follow the ancient paths.

Remember the ones who have gone before who lived solely for Jesus – the Elizabeth Elliot’s, the Mother Theresa’s, and the Amy Carmichael’s. Remember the mentors who simply showed you Jesus. This world is trying so hard to suck you into the vortex of comparison and self-focus. Don’t you give in. You were meant to live a counter-cultural life.

Therefore, I urge you, sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Romans 12:1-2

Live a life worthy of the One who called you. Live every moment as a continual act of worship unto God. Be the one to go against the grain. Don’t worry so much about being “on trend”. Trends are here today and gone tomorrow. Become the woman you would want to sit across the table from in twenty years. Faithful, shining with beauty from within, holy, full of grace and mercy, kindness on your lips, wise from the Word of God being hidden in your heart, and closer to Jesus than ever.

Run together with other women.

You are not alone as you walk this road. I know this can be so hard sometimes. I know you have been hurt and betrayed. I know it feels like sometimes going it alone would be easier.

My friend, you were never meant to be an island. It sure can feel like it though, can’t it? All of us trying so hard to accomplish it all, achieve it all, look and feel the best doing all the things.

We were meant to run together. We were meant to encourage each other in the hardships, to be honest and open with one another, and to cheer wildly as we see our fellow sisters move forward. Y’all, this life is not easy, so lend a hand. We are not in competition! We were made to celebrate one another.

“If we don’t open up, we will miss out on other women’s wisdom and perspective. We might even walk around with a bunch of burdens we shouldn’t be trying to carry alone.” ~ Sophie Hudson, Giddy Up, Eunice

Always trying to get ahead may be stifling your progress.

Bloom where you are planted.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

I know it is easy to want to look ahead and see what is coming. Maybe it seems impossible to know how it is all going to work out. Perhaps you are wondering if you missed it? Maybe you thought you would be somewhere completely different by now.

Be still.

Wait.

Don’t rush over the present – the very gift Jesus gave you today.

You have everything you need for today.

The truth is, God holds what is yours. You are on your way, sister! God has an appointed time for everything. Stay in it, friend.

Run the race that is all your own.

Follow Jesus. Obey His lead. Allow His sanctification process to take place. His timing is perfect and His way is right. He is faithfully leading you.

God is using everything for your good.

There is miraculous joy to be found in the journey, in the process – right here and now. Look around and really see all that surrounds you. Live to the full right now.

Trust Him with it.

Woman of God, you have been called to live out the purpose set before you.

Build your house

“A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands!” Proverbs 14:1

Every time I come across this verse, it stops me in my tracks. I start pondering how am I building up my house-with words and attitude. How I am spending my time? What I am pouring into my children? How I am praying for my family? How am I loving my husband? Am I making it count?

In Finding Your Purpose as a Mom by Donna Otto, she says that our homes are holy ground. Just like Moses took off his shoes at the burning bush, we are to take off our shoes as we come into our homes because of the great work God is doing in our midst.

I want to be a part of it. I don’t want to miss it.

If you are married, rock your marriage. You are the only one who can be your husband’s wife. Love him, encourage him, allow God to show you the joy and beauty of submission, be his teammate, and have fun!

If you have children, you are the only one who can be their momma. Take the time and trouble to shepherd them, train them up, listen well, spend time with them, enjoy them at every stage. You are raising the next generation of warriors for Christ. Teach them about Jesus. This is the most important calling of your life.

Woman of God

You are here on purpose for such a time as this. You have been called to pick up your cross daily and follow Him. We are called to seek first the Kingdom of God. Though this life is not about us, we get to take part in an incredible story – a beautiful tapestry of God’s faithfulness. This life is for God’s glory.

Live for God. Obey Him. Trust Him. Love ferociously. Bring the Kingdom of God in your sphere of influence.

… Wasn’t that great? So many nuggets to ponder!

Add your voice to the conversation at FACETS of Faith’s Facebook page or sign up to receive our weekly blog post and comment to share what God is doing in your life as it relates to each topic.

Want to know more about Swordgirl Conference? Click Mackenzie’s bio link above to be directed to the Swordgirl conference web site.