Who Needs the Royal Treatment?

05.05.2020 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith dear one! I pray you are well and that you are prepared to hear what God has placed on each one of our hearts as we discuss the need for the royal treatment. I’m excited to see how God uses our words to shape us into the women we are destined to become. I felt led to write about beauty treatments this month. In a time when I’m longing to see my stylist (roots anyone?), some are wishing they could have their nails done, and women want their beauty supplies, it’s kind of funny that God placed this message on my heart well in advance of needing my moisturizer but not being able to purchase any! Small problems in the big scheme of things, I know. I’m merely making an observation that will make sense as you read.

Have you ever desired the royal treatment ─ to be pampered and well taken care of? Does an afternoon at the spa sound invigorating? Perhaps a day when someone else takes care of all the household or workplace responsibilities feels in order. Who is going to take care of you (and me), after all? Have you ever wondered, “Why am I called to be the responsible one?” Have you ever felt that way? “What about me? What about me? What about me? Who is going to take care of me?”

What if there is more to the royal treatment than self-indulgence? What if there is great purpose when we appropriately use every royal treatment we are given? What if the royal treatment is about far more than how it benefits us?

Daughter of the King, how is God calling you to use the royal treatment He has given you to extend it to someone else?

One of my very favorite books in the bible is Esther. Before we get too far down the path, let’s remind ourselves Esther was a woman much like you and me. She’s not a fictional character; she was a woman with great godly character.

She wasn’t born a superhero, but she arose as one. (More about that later.)

Esther had fears and concerns much like you and me when we feel called into situations bigger than us. Daunting circumstances open doors of doubt. Stepping forward boldly in spite of fear demonstrates great courage. But how did she get there?

King Xerxes expelled his former queen. She would not honor his request to come to him and his subjects. He was drunk on wine (7 days drunk), and so were his advisors. King Xerxes’ pride and counsel from his inner circle abolished Queen Vashti from her position.

The king’s advisors were more concerned about how Queen Vashti’s perceived disrespect would impact the treatment they received from their wives. The advisors weren’t thinking of the king’s best interest. They were thinking of their own. A good side note: be careful whose counsel you listen to.

It was no secret throughout the kingdom what had happened to Queen Vashti. Unless you were living under a regal rock, you would have known she was removed from her royal position.

Think about any pop star fall from fame; that’s what we’re looking at. If People magazine were a thing back then, Queen Vashti’s face would have been plastered all over the cover. The headline may have read:

Disobedient Queen Dumped

Nothing secret about this demotion. Not. One. Thing. If you were in the kingdom, you knew about it.

Enter the young girl Esther.

The king grew lonely and his personal attendants advised him to gather all the virgins throughout all the provinces, place them under the care of the king’s eunuch Hegai, and give them royal beauty treatments.

Then the king’s personal attendants proposed, “Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king. …Let them be placed under the care of Hegai, the king’s eunuch, who is in charge of the women; and let beauty treatments be given to them. Then let the young woman who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti.” This advice appealed to the king, and he followed it.─Esther 2:3-4 NIV

Of course, it pleased the king, am I right ladies? As a woman in the modern era, this can be a bit maddening to read, especially if you are unfamiliar with the entirety of Esther’s story. But hang in there with me. It gets better. I promise!

Esther was rounded up with all the other beautiful women throughout the kingdom. She didn’t choose this fate, yet somehow, she found herself in a beauty contest to win the king’s attention. If she didn’t, she’d be a woman in a sea of the king’s harem.

I imagine Esther had dreams of her own that probably never involved the king. But if given the choice between holding a position of honor over that of just another face in the harem, wouldn’t it be better to be in a position to help shape the culture of the kingdom?

We women have great influence after all. Wasn’t that what the advisors were so concerned about with the former Queen Vashti?

When we have position in life, there is opportunity for influence. How we use it matters.

Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. ─ Esther 2:12 NIV

Esther didn’t have a choice in the matter. She had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments.

But what if those beauty treatments weren’t really about beauty treatments at all?

Think about how isolated and alone Esther must have felt over the course of those twelve months. You can be in a sea of people yet feel completely alone. She was outside of her comfortable home setting. She had lost her daily routine and her family advisors speaking into her life. She was in this dreadful competition. Imagine the jealousies and insecurities on display with the royal crown at stake. I envision some pretty bad behavior by some. Esther’s time isn’t so different than ours. Competition can create cruelty. (This is me imagining at least a little of what harem life might have been like.)

Let’s vow not to act in a spirit of competition with our sisters in Christ. It’s one way we can let our light shine brilliantly. When we are cheerleaders in the kingdom for one another, we all rise a little higher. Let’s celebrate our sisters!

But you can bet that probably wasn’t the world Esther was living in, with the crown and all that came with it up for grabs.

What if the isolation Esther faced was more about preparation?

There have been plenty of times when God has pulled me away from the hustle and bustle of life. It can feel lonely and quiet, but I have learned over time to recognize those instances as His time for divine preparation, to equip me, for what He has next.

Even now in our quarantine, I am reminded of this for myself and for you. What is God preparing you for?

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

Even Jesus did this when He separated Himself from the disciples to pray and seek the Father’s will. (But I digress.)

When the king’s order and edict had been proclaimed, many young women were brought to the citadel of Susa and put under the care of Hegai. Esther also was taken to the king’s palace and entrusted to Hegai, who had charge of the harem. She pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food. He assigned to her seven female attendants selected from the king’s palace and moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem. ─ Esther 2:8-9 NIV

Yes, Esther was away from her family, but already she was walking in the favor of the Lord. She was assigned to the best place in the harem. She may not have been able to choose her fate, but she was experiencing God’s blessings in the midst of a difficult circumstance.

Again, I think of our current quarantine. It can feel hard, like a fate we’d rather not choose. None of us would have volunteered for these circumstances, yet here we find ourselves.

What has been beautiful to watch is how many have made the best of a difficult situation. You can see God’s favor in their lives, favor in the form of joy, hope, and gratitude. Personally, I have seen God’s provision and peace and He’s even brought laughter and joy. There was a moment of despair on my part, but then I heard God’s sweet, reassuring voice, and I somehow knew everything was going to be okay.

Lock down isn’t perfect, but it’s perfecting us.

I wonder what God whispered to Esther’s heart as she was quarantined for 12 months of beauty preparation.

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

Sometimes these times of separation show us how we’ve ALREADY been prepared. God’s in the business of preparing us, even when we don’t think we’re being prepared. (Can I get an amen?)

Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. This young woman, who was also known as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died. ─ Esther 2:7 NIV

Esther’s loss of her parents created in her someone different than she would have been had they still been alive. That kind of loss shapes someone. Yet, she had an amazing family member step into her life in a sacrificial, loving fashion. You can see that dynamic play out through the book of Esther. You realize how much Esther respects Mordecai when we see her act on his counsel (and thank goodness she did). As we see Mordecai’s actions and character play out, we understand why. (Read the book of Esther. You’ll see what I mean.)

So, while Esther’s circumstances were not ideal, the trials she faced helped her to stare down twelve months of royal beauty treatments in a contest to win the king’s choice award.

If you are anything like me, times of adversity have forged your character. Difficult times deliver us into our destiny if we allow the Lord to use them to do so.

I read something pretty amazing the other day about trauma.

We have come to recognize that our past can either define us or refine us. Those who are refined by their trauma, who truly end up being better off, are experiencing what scientific literature calls posttraumatic growth. Everyone’s heard of posttraumatic stress disorder, but posttraumatic growth is when people actually use their hardship as a springboard and a catalyst to improve their lives.1

Fascinating! Posttraumatic growth. Pause on that thought for a good, long while.

Posttraumatic growth is possible if we choose it. Do you want to know in what context the above quote came from? Assisting sex trafficking survivors! Those engaged with helping survivors with their healing have studied what most helps these women and men succeed after incredible trauma. The answer is simple and hard all at the same time.

Posttraumatic growth occurred because of each ones’ conscious choice to survive and thrive.

We can let our past define or refine us. We choose.

Esther could have played the victim. People would have understood. But that’s not what she chose to do. In grief’s separation, loneliness, and isolation, she allowed grief to prepare her for her divine purpose. She didn’t have to have awareness of that truth for it to BE true.

That’s a good word for us all!

Whatever life’s tragedies and triumphs, they are all preparation for our kingdom purpose. We don’t have to be aware of our preparation for it to do its work. Hindsight often shows us where that has taken place without us ever having a hint it was happening.

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

I imagine Esther wasn’t as demanding as other women in the king’s collection. She wasn’t high maintenance, expecting everyone to cater to her. No. I think her humility won her favor with Hegai, the king’s eunuch. And because she had favor with Hegai, she ultimately gained favor with the king himself.

(Esther) pleased (Hegai) and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food…. He moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem. ─ Esther 2:9 NIV (clarification added)

Esther, just being Esther, won favor. Humility and kindness make a woman more beautiful.

I do imagine Esther being kind, not acting in any kind of entitled way. We later see that.

When the turn came for Esther (the young woman Mordecai had adopted, the daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king’s eunuch who was in charge of the harem, suggested. And Esther won favor of everyone who saw her. ─ Esther 2:15 NIV

Esther didn’t have to fight for what she needed. She wisely listened to Hegai for his insight into what was best. Because she did, she walked in everyone’s favor. She WON favor of everyone who saw her. Wisdom and humility open doors we cannot. Such a great lesson for us all.

Who wouldn’t want to win favor versus having to fight for it at every turn? We can learn a lot from our sister Esther!

Esther had not revealed her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had forbidden her to do so. Every day he walked back and forth near the courtyard of the harem to find out how Esther was and what was happening to her. ─ Esther 2:10-11 NIV

What’s obvious here is Mordecai’s great concern and care for his cousin Esther. While she was separated and alone, he forbid Esther to talk about her heritage. Mordecai showed great regard for Esther’s well-being. He knew her status as a Jew could cause difficulty in her circumstances.

But do you want to know what’s even more awesome about this withholding of information?

The Lord was preparing a way to safety for Esther and every Jew throughout the kingdom. They didn’t know it yet, but the Lord was well aware that during Esther’s time of separation and isolation there was preparation …. So that an entire group of people could walk free in spite of the king’s decree to kill every Jew in every citadel.

How many times has the Lord prepared you for a future season you didn’t see coming? It’s only in reflecting back that we are able to make sense of it and see God’s hand at work in our life all along. Those are faith bolstering moments!

But Esther had kept secret her family background and nationality just as Mordecai had told her to do, for she continued to follow Mordecai’s instructions as she had done when he was bringing her up. ─ Esther 2:20 NIV

Esther had been prepared her whole life for her calling. She’d been given wise instruction from Mordecai as he raised her, and he continued to have great influence. He could speak into her life in a way that made impact on her actions and for a nation.

When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” ─ Esther 4:12-14 NIV

That’s speaking the truth in love right there! Being on the receiving end of both truth and love is absolutely part of our preparation.

You see, there was an edict (a law) that was issued by the king to kill and annihilate all the Jews. Esther was fearful to approach the king. Doing so without his calling her to him could have meant her death. Understandably, she was afraid. But Mordecai did not coddle her. He gave her a challenge instead.

And she accepted it.

Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” ─ Esther 4:15-16 NIV

She prepared through fasting and prayer, and asked others to join her in doing so.

She put together a plan to approach the king.

She was strategic.

She was patient and deliberate.

You can see a woman using great restraint as she carried out her divine purpose.

And because she did, the Jews were saved.

On this day the enemies of the Jews had hoped to overpower them, but now the tables were turned and the Jews got the upper hand over those who hated them. ─ Esther 9:1b NIV

While it had looked like defeat for the Jews was surely at hand, one woman’s courage changed many people’s fate. Esther was made for this moment! Her preparation saved a nation.

Not only that, her cousin Mordecai was promoted to a position of great influence as well.

Mordecai was prominent in the palace; his reputation spread throughout the provinces, and he became more and more powerful. ─ Esther 9:4 NIV

Because Esther allowed her times of separation and isolation to prepare her, it paved the way for those who’d previously helped her to receive promotion. Mordecai’s wisdom in Esther’s life was expanded to shape that of a nation.

Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Xerxes, preeminent among the Jews, and held in high esteem by his many fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke for the welfare of all the Jews. ─ Esther 10:3 NIV

Because a man like Mordecai raised Esther it paved the way for her to see him interact with others as he worked for their good. He prepared her by the way he raised her to work for the good of her people.

Leadership can sometimes feel lonely and a little separated, but Esther was prepared for it. It was her destiny.

Ultimately, she walked in FULL AUTHORITY as God’s daughter, destined to do great things. (Esther 10:29)

It’s your destiny too, friend.

What is God calling you to? Receive His “royal beauty treatments” in times of isolation and separation. It’s part of your preparation for you and all those whom you love.

It’s your destiny.

Remember, times of separation and isolation are for our preparation if we choose to let them.

Let them!

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ─ Ephesians 2:10 NIV (emphasis added)

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” ─ Esther 4:14b

…hardships are what cause us to learn what’s really in us. If we quit, we miss the chance to discover what we’re capable of.1

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1 Cooley, Ben. Relentless Pursuit, Fuel Your Passion and Fulfill Your Mission. David C Cook, 2019.

How Does the Enemy Try to Silence You?

04.01.2020 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to our FACETS community. We all need more community these days. Don’t let yourself isolate. We need each other. We’re vulnerable when we are off by ourselves. Remember, you are not alone (Immanuel). We are God’s kids and we’ll get through this period of isolation together by reaching out to one another from afar. Let us know how we can be praying for you!

As I (Tracy) consider our topic this month, I think a better question might be, “How DOESN’T the enemy try to silence you?” Sometimes, his schemes can feel overwhelming, never-ending, relentless even.

But there’s good news in that. (Really?) Really!

in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”─2 Corinthians 2:11 NIV

We are not unaware of his schemes. We know he lies. He destroys. His desire is to kill everything in his path. (John 10:10) If you are living for Christ, he has it out for you.

But don’t lose hope.

He uses the same old bag of tricks. Again, we are not UNAWARE of his schemes.

If we were playing cards, he’d have to fold. We know what’s in his hand. And we can call his bluff every time in Christ.

I do not recommend fighting the devil in your own strength. He is stronger than us. He can outwit us as humans. But he doesn’t stand a chance against us in Christ!

Good news #1:

We are not unaware of his schemes. Knowing the enemy’s methods of warfare, helps us know how to fight the good fight.

Know Ephesians 6 like nobody’s business. The best defense is a good offense, they always say. Right? Okay, so then that means we should always use God’s Word as our offensive weapon. Know what God’s Word says. Know the truth in its pages. It is for us. It is for today.

God’s Word has gotten me through some tough times!

Recently, there were false accusations made against me – publicly. (Okay, accuser of the brethren, we are not unaware of your schemes.) I was fighting to hold my head up and keep walking forward. I couldn’t really defend myself in that situation, and I was feeling pretty downcast.

But the brilliance of God and His ministry through His Word, led me to this Scripture.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable─if anything is excellent or praiseworthy─think about such things.─Philippians 4:6-8 NIV

I’ve read this passage countless times, but God chose to highlight a few words that ministered to my heart. He wanted me to pay particular attention to “whatever is true”. It was like He had taken His holy highlighter, and made those words jump off the page.

Whatever is true.

Doesn’t that sound like the perfect anecdote to the schemes of the biggest liar of all?

Satan doesn’t stand a chance when God is in our corner!

God guided me to write that Scripture down and carry it with me. It’s still in my purse.

That way, whenever the enemy starts to taunt with his lies, I am fully prepared─not unaware. There are times when I don’t wholeheartedly believe the opposite of the accusations against me (initially). That’s okay. I might not have power in the moment, but God’s Word does. His Word will give my voice power. Say it enough times and it starts to ring true. Praise God!

Whatever is true─think about such things.

There’s more good news when we are under attack.

Good news #2:

The enemy doesn’t mess with us if we aren’t making kingdom impact. If we aren’t somehow radiating God’s goodness to others, we would not be on his radar. When we love God and try to fulfill the calling He has placed on our lives, the enemy doesn’t like that, of course. I’ve told others this, and sometimes I need to remind myself, when the enemy comes against us, we should consider it a compliment.

If we’re making no impact on Christ’s behalf, the enemy would leave us alone. How do I know? I have about 4 decades of proof before I became a believer.

Once the enemy had me mired down in sin – mine and others, he left me to my own devices. He didn’t need to put a wedge between me and God or the things of God. I was oblivious to them.

But now? Now, I love the Lord. I want to do what He wants me to do. But like Paul, I don’t always do the things I know God would want me to. So frustrating, can I tell you. I do find comfort that EVEN PAUL had this struggle. He was a brilliant follower of Christ, radically transformed, and talk about kingdom impact─we’re still walking in it today! Yet for all this man did for Christ, he didn’t execute flawlessly, the way he hoped he would, the way he thought Christ would want him to.

In the apostle Paul’s words,

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do─this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.─Romans 7:15-20 NIV (emphasis added)

Thank you, Saint Paul, for admitting your failures. It helps us when we have them too! We can fail forward.

If you are reading this and you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, never judge Him by His followers. We are not Him. We will get it wrong a lot of the time. Even when we don’t want to. I have no idea why He thought it was a good idea to use normal, everyday people, to help others know who He is. That might not have been my plan, just saying. Except for, maybe this, it’s coming to my mind:

God loves us and uses us for good, beautiful, purposeful things in spite of us and our sinful nature. He has this attribute called grace. And in His goodness He extends it to us, me and you, if we are saved. And if you are not saved, if you didn’t say “yes” in your heart to Christ, He would want you to know He accepts you flaws and all. You don’t have to be a certain way, to be perfect for Him to love you deeply just as you are.

In spite of our imperfect nature, God still uses us.

That leads me to one of the weapons the enemy tries to hurl my way, and I’m wondering if some of you can relate.

I have this deep root of perfectionism that trips me up. I can put unbelievable pressure on myself to perform. It’s really off the charts sometimes. I’m not fully sure how that root got wedged in place, but it’s deep. In my mind if I do one thing wrong, the whole thing is bad. Might as well toss it, or not do it at all. If it can’t be done with excellence, it shouldn’t be done.

While that sounds good, maybe even noble or godly to want to do things with excellence (and I think it is okay to want to do your best), God doesn’t expect perfect. He just doesn’t. He is the only One who could ever achieve that. Intellectually, I’m on board. Practically, I still trip over the root.

I say things I shouldn’t. I do things I shouldn’t. And even when I can keep those things in check, I think things I shouldn’t. Ugh, Ugh, Ugh

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.─Philippians 3:12-14 NIV (emphasis added)

Did you catch that?

Sometimes, we need to strain toward what is ahead. Push through the resistance. When we do? We are walking toward the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus to receive.

Just like Moses.

Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess. He was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses was faithful in all God’s house. ─Hebrews 3:1-2 NIV (emphasis added)

As I read Priscilla Shirer’s words, I had to chuckle.

Excuse me? Moses? Faithful? Really?1

For those of you unfamiliar with Moses’ story, he was a bit flawed. For starters, he murdered an Egyptian. He wrestled with anger and insecurity. When the Israelites did dumb things (which was a lot, LOL), he’d lose his patience. He wouldn’t be the poster child for righteousness, but we find him being called out as faithful in all God’s house.

Say what?

Here’s the thing: God knew Moses’ heart. Lean in a little closer as I share this next little nugget. He knows your heart too, dear one!

God never, not once, assigned us to walk out life or our faith perfectly. In fact, He knew well in advance we wouldn’t. Our imperfect nature reminds us that we need Him.

Well, that gives me some hope! How about you?

I love Priscilla’s words here. They are so encouraging.

In spite of all kinds of spills and sputters in the execution, Moses held fast to the calling the Lord had placed on his life. “He was faithful to the one who appointed him” (v 2 NIV). Even in the noisy wind tunnel of guilt and regret, even with loud music inviting him to dance with the decadent, he could still catch the faint whisper of heaven compelling him to forsake temporary feelings and pursuits for the sake of God’s will. And herein lies what separated him and his people from all others. He was not perfect, but he was purposeful. He wasn’t without mistake, but he was marked by God’s presence. … And even when it meant picking himself up off the deck of defeat and discouragement, he did not stop until God Himself allowed him to go no farther. He was called by heaven─an appointment that ordered his priorities, pursuits and passions. Not perfectly but persistently.1

The enemy would love nothing more than to silence me through the weight of perfectionism, even in my faith walk. But that’s when I take a deep breath, literally. Breathe and seek God. Listen to what it is He has to say.

I pay attention to the places He leads me (like Priscilla’s book with well-timed words).

None of us can ever be perfect. But we can be purposeful. When I read that, I cried – a sure sign God was reaching my heart to encourage me. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for your tender ministry toward my heart!

None of us can ever be perfect. But we can be persistent about getting back up, dusting ourselves off, and reminding ourselves God doesn’t even expect perfection. So if He is a giver of grace toward us …. maybe we should extend some to ourselves.

None of us can ever be perfect. But we can fix our eyes on His presence.

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. ─2 Corinthians 7:1 NIV

We’re perfecting holiness, not perfect. And that’s okay. Don’t believe the enemy’s lies that perfectionism is required to be used by God. It’s not true. Remember, what is true. Believe the truth.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1 Shirer, Priscilla Evans. The Resolution: for Women. B&H Pub. Group, 2015.

Love From a Distance

03.17.2020 by Megan Abbott //

Hello friends! Welcome back to our gathering space. This month, each of us have pondered on the question “Do they know they are loved?” and each of us ending with a different “facet” (haha)… Check back with Jen and Tracy to hear their thoughts, and get excited for next week’s guest, Judy! I am going to be really honest, this has by far been the hardest post I have ever written. There have been tears, second guessing, broken internet, interruptions, lost writing, emotional exhaustion, more tears, and the list goes on. I pray that God meets us both here, and our hearts find rest in a time of unrest.

Loneliness Epidemic

For years I have overheard the idea that loneliness is an epidemic in our society, but I don’t think I have ever truly experienced long-term loneliness. I have had moments of loneliness, glimpses, but never long-term. Moments when living alone left me feeling isolated, searching for a new community made me miss old friends, or even those times I was filling out an emergency contact at the doctor’s office and I remembered I’m single, and my family is 550 miles away.

Then this past week happened. Each day there were multiple updates. It was like every few hours the news changed, trips cancelled, gatherings over 1000, then over 250, then churches cancelled, and then schools cancelled. Honestly, by the time we got to the middle of the week, each time I read the news, or got another notification about something changing I started crying. I could foresee the moment when I would be told “you should stay home until further notice”. And now we’re there. I live alone. No other people. No community. No visitors to look forward to. No trips. Just me and my dog. And without a real end date. This is why I was crying all last week. The prospect of loneliness was ominous.

God Given Community

There is no denying that we were created to live in community. Start in Genesis with Adam and Eve in community with God. The census and lists of tribes throughout the Old Testament. The friendship between David and Jonathan. Jesus and His disciples. Think, even, just about the Trinity. God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. They exist in community as One. So there is no surprise that we, created in God’s image, would so desperately need community.

My command is this: love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:12-13 (NIV)

I often experience God’s love and grace towards me through my friends. They remind me of the truth when I can’t see it. They get me laughing and bring joy to my days. They give me hugs at just the right moments, when I am really needing to feel God’s presence.

So what happens when we are alone? Or we are starting over somewhere new? Or there is a global pandemic, and to best love our neighbors, we practice social distancing? How do “they” know they are loved when no one is around? The easy answer is “God promises to always be with you” (Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 28:20), but what about the moments when we need tangible community? When God feels too far away, and we need a hug to remind us that we aren’t in this alone (unless you are Jen and hugging isn’t your thing).

Seen From A Distance

A year or so ago, my friend Alaina gave a sermon at her church where the main message was: “The cure for loneliness is to help other people feel less lonely.” We have to be intentional to love people when we aren’t physically able to be in a room with them. If you are thinking of your friend, send them a text and let them know you are thinking of them, or that you miss them. Ask them how they are, and actually anticipate a response. Think about a time when you most felt seen and remembered by a loved one, and do that for someone else. Love people unconditionally like God loves you. While I acknowledge that the Spirit lives within me and often reminds me of God’s presence, God has done a pretty awesome job of leaving me feeling loved and remembered without physically being within the 6 foot buffer recommended by social distancing. Pray for the Holy Spirit to nudge you, and then listen when people are brought to your mind.

It is okay, and super healthy, to acknowledge if you are sad, if you are feeling disappointed, loss, anxiety, or even a little scared. I think a lot of us are. Which means we aren’t alone. If you are feeling lonely, reach out to a friend and start the conversation. If you have friends or loved ones that are living alone, check on them. Call them and remind them they are seen and remembered. Help others feel less lonely.

When life starts to return to normal for most of us, let’s remember that community still requires intentionality. Loneliness will still be an epidemic requiring our attention. Let us grow in compassion for one another, and ask God how we can use that compassion to better love our community now, and in the future.

Join us on Facebook, or in the comments, and let us know how you are loving your friends and community from afar!