Jennifer J Howe Archives – Page 3 of 14

A Significant Life Calling: the Road to Adventure

07.17.2020 by Jennifer Howe //

Hey, friend, this month’s topic is quite a thing. We want to know exactly how we fit into all our relationships, the future, and both this world and the next. Isn’t that what the significant life calling is about? We want to make a difference in our sphere of influence; we want to know our lives mattered! That’s what we’re kicking around, so check out Tracy’s, Megan’s, and Charlotte’s posts this month!

Once upon a time I (Jen) waited for a book or survey to tell me how I was wired and how I could be used significantly in this world. I caught myself repeating over and over in my inside voice: There has to be more to life!

It’s been 487 days…

I turned the big 5-0 four hundred eighty-seven days ago. Yesterday it hit me as I struggled through a 6-mile walk with my Chocolate Lab. My legs are short and don’t move as quickly as they did. My right ankle complains, and my knees join the chorus. One shoulder wants to move more freely. My low back is recovering from a strain, a parting gift from poorly done squats. Oh. My. Goodness! When did my house-body become a crumbling cabin in the woods?

A long walk. The rhythm of Theo’s panting. Shoes scuffing the path. The occasional runner or biker hustling past. Thoughts pierce my serenity, an unexpected cymbal-crash in the evening’s golden hour. Did I waste half a century? What do I have to show for the years? I don’t know how many days I have left. B-b-but the last fifty years…the last year and a quarter…

A girl could cry. Fresh desperation welled up. The half-life of Uranium…half its initial value…the half-life of a human…Woman, the chemistry term doesn’t apply!

The golden-hour world went wavy through tears. This doesn’t feel like freedom on the road to calling.

“Self” is a Four-letter Word

I ask hard questions in this life stage. I take a long look in the rear-view mirror and wonder: Why am I here? Is there still opportunity? Did I accept the right challenges and take advantage of the growth along the way? I spent two decades wanting to be older, but am I “too old” now? If I knew then what I know now, would I have lived the same way? Was youth wasted on me? Is the hair glitter I’ve earned anything special?

Do you see what I see? The thought process up there—it’s all about me. I’m speeding down the road, checking the side mirror of self where “objects may be closer than they appear.” The object that’s too close is me, and I can’t see beyond me to the beautiful opportunities I took or the ones I might take.

Self-examination isn’t the same thing as self-preoccupation. There’s a thin line between the two, and it’s got to be a no passing zone or a head-on collision is around the bend.

Eyes on the Road!

I’m not sure why we need laws to reinforce the need for focused attention behind the wheel, but they emphasize an important point. If I’m moving at high speed in a one-ton missile, it’s super-important I’m aware of my surroundings. How much more important when I’m moving through life where opportunity is around every turn!

I won’t see the moment; it’ll sneak up on me, and I’ll be in it. I’ll have to choose between two roads or stopping to help someone on the roadside. Eyes on the road! And ears tuned to the small whisper that guides my heart, mind, and feet in the moment.

What if…

Once upon a time I read books and listened to 45-minute talks focused on helping me know more about my purpose in life. Gifts assessments became a thing. I took them multiple times to see if anything changed. I mean, I want to be certain I’m doing what God has called me to, and I can only do that if I know where my gifts, passions, and season of life intersect. (Yeah, that looks like a GPS to me, too.)

But what if there’s another perspective? What if an author, preacher-man, or questionnaire couldn’t or shouldn’t define me and the opportunities I might accept or reject. I want to know the biblical take on calling, giftedness, and serving.

Plans and Purposes

Your eyes saw me when I was formless;
all my days were written in your book and planned
before a single one of them began. Psalm 139:16 CSB

The Creator of the universe has always known my identity—every physical, emotional, and spiritual detail. My five-foot-two-on-a-good-hair-day height, the grey hair hidden with RB-6 in college, my love of words and Oxford commas, and the best and worst life experiences—He knew all of me. He knew I would enter the world just before breakfast on one day, and He knows the time I will see Him face to face.

Every day has been attended to and accounted for, and it has all been perfectly tailored to me in partnership with Him. The people I meet. The opportunities in front of me. No surprises and no mistakes. In this life stage, I see it better.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 CSB

Something deep nudges me toward truth. I was made on purpose, with purpose, for a purpose! It’s no wonder some kind of “why cry” comes from down deep. The most important part is that He offers opportunities to partner with Him in good works. I was made for more. And so were you!

S-S-Slow down!

I imagine myself with Mario Andretti skills. Life is crazy-fast, and some days are jam-packed with only minutes between iCal events. It looks good on paper, but there’s no time for resting, recuperating, or relaxing. I burn rubber until I burn out.

How in the world can I hear the “still, small voice” (1 Kings 19:12)? My engine’s RPMs are too high, I’m flying through a flat desert, and the people and opportunities are a blur.

Truth is, I desperately need quiet and time to hear His small voice. When I’m listening, I have a unique chance to follow His lead. If I’m attentive, I live a life with three unique traits.

My life is Spirit-led because I hear and respond to His voice.
My life is Spirit-infused and fueled because I am moving with Him.
My life is surrendered because I want His good, perfect, and pleasing will (Romans 12:2).

These three things mostly exist when I slow down and spend time walking and talking with God.

Humble Willingness

Those three, unique traits in my life equal humble willingness. I’m willing to carry the weight of awareness each day. I’ll see people—really see them—and remain open to the possibility of a divine iCal request on my calendar.

Here’s the funny thing: I’m reminded it has nothing to do with the list of gifts, passions, or skills at this point. Those things are the springboard for how I might partner with Him, but it’s way-cool to experience serving someone with the love of God by the power of God. There’s no way I cover that kind of distance by my own heart, mind, or abilities.

The freedom on the road? My calling? It’s an adventure if I’m humble and willing…

Share your thoughts in the comments or the Facebook Page. I’d really love to read them!

Life: Unedited

06.09.2020 by Jennifer Howe //

Welcome to FACETS, friend. This month we’re thinking about a life infused with play, or in my case, living life unedited. You can check out Tracy’s post here. Come back the next two weeks to read posts from Megan and our guest writer, Lauren.

I (Jennifer) spend a lot of my time editing others’ work on stacks of pages and through a screen. Bible studies, books, dissertations, web content—I work on a variety of projects with people. I examine the work, scrutinizing spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I want to help each writer put the best work forward. It’s my job to be sure the words are polished and presentable.

I’ve got a red pen, and I’m not afraid to use it!

I’m an editor professionally, but it’s not lost on me—the “red pen mindset” has crept into other areas of life. I’ve been living a carefully edited life most of my 51 years. A tightly-run ship in my childhood home transitioned to self-protection after traumatic events and settled into controlling patterns wherever I had a chance. For years I heard Star Trek’s Captain Piccard say, “Make it so!” in my head. Then I did what I could to orchestrate the things (and people) according to plan. I’m sad that’s been my reality for so long.

What you don’t know…

I’m returning from one of the most emotional trips I can remember. I’m leaving Nevada after visiting my dad and his lovely wife, soaring high above a western state and winging toward Seattle to connect, hang a right, and land in Chicago.

It’s a little like the time I left Oklahoma City as a kid. I didn’t know I was closer to the last time I’d see my grandfather; I still bawled when I left. My mom’s dad was an amazing man (take a peek at this childhood memory, and you’ll know why). My grandfather and my dad were cut from different cloth, a stark contrast. I don’t recall the same intensely sweet memories with my dad.

Fast-forward to today, and my father isn’t the same man. The gaze is different—softer, maybe. A bit more distant, too. His mannerisms are the same and completely different. The jokes are the same; I know them word-for-word. The polite apologies, thankfulness for my presence, and generosity; that’s all new. I’m meeting the same man and one I’ve never known. It’s gain and loss I don’t have words for at the moment.

Makin’ memories!

I’m traveling with a sister who lives a much less edited life. Two flights out to Nevada. A “Thelma and Louise” road trip from one part of the state to the other through the desert in a 2020 black Mustang convertible, top down. Laughs, photos, and GPS in the middle of nowhere and no signal. An Area 51 trinket shop where (clearly!) trinkets had to be bought. The tiniest state capital. Several days with my dad who definitely lives an unedited life. Losing every card game. A touristy town up the mountain. A late birthday lunch at Red Lobster. Riding mountain roads my dad has driven for thirty years (and still does with skill). A crazy drive back through the desert where GPS took us into California and through the Sierras. (The driver was ‘not disappointed’ with the video game-like driving in the right car!) A drive through Red Rock Canyon. Dinner with my writer friend in Vegas. Sleeping to the airline’s on hold phone system all night. 4:30 AM. Sadness parking the ‘Stang the last time. Two flights with a 4-minute connection window when the door opened (that we made with a sprint and one minute to spare!). And on to Chicago.

Stress? Yes. Fun? Absolutely an adrenaline rush!

Thelma, Louise, and life lessons…

Beyond all we shoe-horned into a few days and travel glitches; my usual, careful patterns were challenged. A muscle car, a road trip with someone who doesn’t edit the same parts of life, and meeting a man who doesn’t edit life much at all will push comfortable boundaries. Something in me wants—or desperately needs?—order in life.

When I consider a playful, unedited life, I know there’s room to grow. There’s a huge difference between my red pen mindset and letting the Lord order my days.

Order, please!

The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way… Psalm 37:23 ESV

Trusting Jesus in every situation infuses His order to life and transitions the stress of my need for order to His care. I trust the One who loves me and cares for me!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. I Peter 5:7 NLT

He knows the road, and He’s on it!

When the road in front of me feels like switchbacks, dips, and bumps in the Sierras, everything in me wants to “Make it so!” But I trade trust for exhaustion and a measure of failure when I take charge. I never intend to walk off the narrow road. My heart wants to be with the One who knows the options, outcomes, and the beauty in divine appointments with anyone He puts in my path. My head, though! Control is about me and my comfort, and it has nothing to do with why He has me here.

A follower of Jesus loves Him with all her heart, mind, and strength; she looks for opportunity to love and serve others, and ultimately introduce them to Jesus in casual conversation and day-to-day activity. That kind of unedited life is infused with and fueled by the Holy Spirit’s truth, love, and power. I can’t muster it; it’s not a “fake it till you make it” thing. And it can be fun and joy-filled!

Trusting and following—that’s where the rubber squeals on the mountain road.

The Right Edits

There are choices (edits) to make in line with who I am in Jesus, and there is so much out there that allows for God-gifted joy and significance, and both sad and happy tears in good company. I lean a little more serious than playful, but I’m eyeing the fun road with Him and others! (Probably not in a shiny 2020 Mustang, sadly.)

Ordering my world exhausts me! I wonder how I’m going to do this fun, unedited life thing. Fear isn’t needed, so I’ll do the work to set it aside. The Bible tells me my steps are ordered, no matter how it looks. I’m reminded control is a myth, fun lies in opportunities I can say yes to, and smiling in uncomfortable moments is a choice.

If you live a carefully edited life, how’s it going for you? Can we both lean into the unedited life? We can certainly pray for each other to find joy in His ordered plans for us.

If you live the God-honoring, play-filled life, share with the rest of us. How’d you do that? Inquiring minds want to know!

If you’ve read this far, thank you for blessing and honoring me. Let’s connect at the Facebook page or the comments below!

As always, sharing is caring. Who else might consider the unedited, playful life?

You Are…Honored!

02.11.2020 by Jennifer Howe //

Welcome to FACETS, friend. Take a look around in February, and you’ll see we’re at play and doing things a little differently. We are leaning into a “Did you know you are…” set, and we hope you’ll enjoy it. Each Facet is writing from her heart. Take a peek at Tracy’s post that reminds us that we are cherished. You are honored, beloved, and celebrated, too.

Do you know you are…honored?

I (Jennifer) have a unique moment in front of me. The question floats through my mind, to my heart, and back. If we could sit together over a cuppa right now at my caffeinated hidey hole, I’d relish it! We might chat about Chicago’s unpredictable weather, move on to the extraordinary in the very ordinary of our lives—and then something deeper could happen. The question would hang in the air: Do you know you are honored?

I imagine the two of us exploring truth. Are we honored? What does He say? Are we comfortable even speaking the words out loud? I am honored? We do a funny dance around words like that.

Yes? No? Maybe so?

The Christian faith is, first, biblical! And yet, a Moody Founder’s Week speaker reminded me last week, “Some of the worst advice comes from within the church.” What is genuinely true? Do I have “fire insurance” from a prayer I once prayed? If I am saved from my sins, am I saved to something? Am I a sinner halfway dragged from the gutter until heaven? Am I a royal daughter of the King of the universe who has authority over all things and receives a big, ol’ YES! from the heavens in response to every prayer?

I’ve asked all of these questions at some point in over twenty-five years, and the majority of questions like them have been settled in my mind through time reading the Bible, praying to understand the words, and having deep conversations with trusted friends. If you’re still encountering these questions, I want to encourage you—you have the opportunity to silence the slippery tongue that’s trying to confuse you. None of us needs to stay in the place of confused identity when it comes to our relationship with Daddy-God. He will tell us who we are!

Honored? I’m not worthy!

Let’s face it, honored is a big, fat, heavy word for some of us. Can we honor anyone but Jesus? How can I possibly be honored if He is the one worthy of honor and praise:

They said with a loud voice,
Worthy is the Lamb who was slaughtered
to receive power and riches
and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and blessing! Revelation 5:12 CSB

The truth is plain. He. Is. Worthy!

Honor shared…

But what about li’l, old you and me? What does the Bible say about our honor?

Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ. 2 Thessalonians 1:12 ESV [Emphasis mine.]

When I read that, I feel all the emotions. How about you? There is honor in living honorably. We honor Jesus with our lives; He is honored, and we share in His honor. The honor is not our own, and that’s as it should be!

Honor given…

You know I was searching for “real food” in the Bible, right? I looked at all the appearances of honor because I needed to know I was, for sure, reading what He had to say about our honor without the sauce of pride dripping all over it. This practically leapt off the page:

Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them. James 1:9 ESV

I live in a time (in church history) and place (in the world) that is so rich, many of us have forgotten what it means to be genuinely poor. We have a cultural conversation about “the working poor,” American poverty levels, and the wars on all the things. We talk about the difficulty of being a believer in a culture that rejects truth and substitutes it with their own. It’s a shame we can’t talk about God in the workplace or the neighborhood. What would people say?

Let’s get perspective: generations all over the world, places where professing Christianity is a death sentence, hope for the next morsel, the next pittance-paying job, a wedding to reduce the number of mouths to feed, or an orphanage to give a child a better life.

I don’t know this kind of “poor.” It exists, though. What will I do about that? What will we do?

The poor are honored by God because He loves them, because of the frailty of their lives, and because no one else honors them. Our God is loving like that. And we should be the church. We should live a life that honors them and shares in the honor of Christ who loves and honors like that! We give the honor to them because He does.

Sometimes I must write to myself in these posts: Jen, it’s not all about you.

You are…

Our God is loving! That’s what I love so much about Him—He calls every one of us into deep relationship while we are still sinners (Romans 5:8), and He shares His honor with us when we hide our lives in His and live honorably by His power. By extension of our authentic, godly life with Him, we give honor to the weakest—the ones with no voice or wealth or noticeable honor in this world. We are the church when we do that. That’s our calling.

And then there’s this:

…you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you. Isaiah 43:4 ESV

In His goodness and grace, there’s that. The context of that verse up there offers clarity about God’s preferential treatment toward His beloved (that’s us!). You and I are precious to Him. We are the “loved ones” who bring the light! He desires to draw us close; transform our hearts, minds, and lives; and work in and through us in this dark world.

Jesus’ sacrifice on a rough-hewn cross communicates something deep: He chose to come for us, each of us is loved and honored by His choice, and we share in His honor.

I feel this is how this post wraps up. I pray this for us!

So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. 2 Thessalonians 1:11 ESV

It’s an honor that you visit this space. Thank you! If you think this can be a blessing for someone else, share it. What I’d really, really love? Start a conversation here, at the Facebook Page, or on your own Facebook (if you’re bold).