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Yesterday, Today, and a Thousand Miles Away

09.21.2018 by Kim Findlay //

This month at Facets of Faith we’re taking a look at where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going. You know, lessons life has taught us. Tracy and Jen have already shared. Be sure to check theirs out by clicking on their names! Now it’s my (Kim) turn.

IMAGE: Life Lessons, Kim Findlay, green.

Where’s Here?

Have you ever asked yourself, how did I get here? Maybe not so much the physical location as much as the season of life. The details.

Maybe you were one of the kids who dreamed someday you’d grow up to  ______ (fill in the blank). As you look at your life today, you wonder what happened before. Now that life isn’t good, perhaps it isn’t what you expected or what you planned.

I’m writing these words at home seated at my desk, a treasured gift from a lifetime ago. My mom bought this beautiful piece for me after fire destroyed my home over thirteen years ago. 

I dreamed about writing words of hope and encouragement sitting at this desk, of obeying the call of Scripture to be one of the redeemed telling her story (Psalm 107:2). Of penning stories to let the world know what He had done.

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.” Psalm 105:1

What I never expected was for my desk to reside anywhere other than in Illinois. Yet here we sit, my desk and I, nestled together in a town just outside of Boston, Massachusetts, a thousand miles from familiar.

Looking Back

Two years ago I visited my daughter and her husband in Connecticut. On a whim we decided to drive up to Concord, Massachusetts and visit Orchard House, the home of Louisa May Alcott. We strolled the grounds and absorbed its history. We meandered down a bit and stumbled upon The Old Manse where the first shots of the Revolutionary War were fired and less than a century later Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nathanial Hawthorne, and Henry David Thoreau spawned a revolution in American philosophy.

A thought snuck in as we walked . . .how neat it would be to live near such history. Inwardly, I gasped. What was I thinking? I had just remarried and we lived in a great house at a great location. Life was settling after years of sorrow and struggles. Not only that, but my youngest daughter’s grave was in Illinois. Surely God wouldn’t ask me to move away, not after all that happened when fire not only destroyed my home, but ended my girl’s sweet life on earth. Surely there was a limit to what He would ask of me.

We think that sometimes though, don’t we? Holding the broken pieces of our hearts and dreams up to God we ask, isn’t this enough? Is there a limit to our pain or some kind of suffering cap we’ll finally reach. Looking around, we wonder why we seemed to have drawn the short straw and they reap such goodness.

The Good News

He knows that —how we feel, what we think. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.” Psalm 103:13-14

I forget that sometimes. Too often. I forget that He made me (Psalm 139:13) and formed me. I forget that He has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) and work for me to do .

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

A Fellow Sojourner

Usually as I try to remind myself of God’s sovereignty, I turn to the pages of Scripture and seek out one of my heroes —Joseph. Joseph, the favored son of Jacob, despised by his brothers yet chosen by God. After being tossed in a well for sharing a dream that he might one day rule over his brothers, Joseph was sold into slavery, accused of rape, thrown in prison, and forgotten. You can read the rest of his story in Genesis 37, 39-46. It’s a pretty amazing to read.

As I read about Joseph’s life, I relate to the unceasing pressure of suffering and trials, feeling forgotten and overlooked.

It would be easy to drown in self-pity. Some might say I have every reason . . .and perhaps you might as well. We look at the details of our lives and see pain after pain with little time to catch our breath. 

But if there’s anything I’ve learned through my forty*cough*cough years of walking the earth, it’s that God doesn’t waste a single tear nor does He toss out our broken hearts and dreams. He uses them to accomplish His purpose and redeems every moment.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

He takes our experiences, our hearts, the work He created for us and somehow fashions them together to create something beautiful . . . a masterpiece.

Hope Ahead

He did that with Joseph. God needed someone to care for His people —Joseph was that answer. The way was rocky, but God was with Joseph every step of the way.

He called for a famine on the land of Canaan, cutting off its food supply. Then he sent someone to Egypt ahead of them— Joseph, who was sold as a slave. They bruised his feet with fetters and placed his neck in an iron collar. Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph’s character. Then Pharaoh sent for him and set him free; the ruler of the nation opened his prison door. Joseph was put in charge of all the king’s household; he became ruler over all the king’s possessions. He could instruct the king’s aides as he pleased and teach the king’s advisers.” Psalm 105:16-22

And He does that with us. He did that with me. He breathed life and hope and healing into a life-in-middle woman with a broken heart and birthed a love for people that compelled her to move a thousand miles from familiar. It hasn’t been an easy journey. I’ve lost more than I ever imagined and felt the depth of pain I didn’t think I could survive. As I sit here at my desk, penning words of hope and encouragement, I realize it’s worth it, this life of faith and sorrow and hope. And I will continue to declare His goodness and sovereignty until my final breath.

Where do you think God is leading you? Join the conversation by commenting below or jump over to our Facebook page to share.

Signature: Kim Findlay

Categories // Kim Findlay's Perspective, Life Tags // encouragement, Faith, hope, Kim Findlay, moving, Psalm 105, writing

Why We Need the Truth of God’s Goodness in Times of Suffering

08.21.2018 by Kim Findlay //

Welcome to Facets of Faith —a space where three friends take a topic on life or faith or friendship and offer three unique perspectives. This month we’re responding to the idea that what we don’t know, can hurt us. It’s a glimpse into our thoughts on truth and denial. Jen shared last week —you can read that here. I’m (Kim) up this week.What You Don't Know (green), K. Findlay

Truth these days has shifted from the crips black and white into the murkiness of gray. Toss in truth about God and oy! —the potential for a collision of opinion increases a thousandfold. Hang out on social media and it won’t take long to see the naysayers and trolls that come out to play; those whose only desire is to stir up trouble and angst, distracting us from what is real, what is good, what is true.

Here is the truest thing I know: God is good.

I know, as soon as you read those three words, a million reasons started to whisper why He is not. The poverty. The lost. The hungry. The forgotten. The discarded. The broken.

Suffering.

If God is good, why is there so suffering? Why do I suffer?

Before I dive in, I need to add a disclaimer here. I am not a theologian. I did not go to seminary. I’m just a life-in-the-middle gal who believes in Jesus and has a few ideas to share. But lest you think I’m sitting in my ivory tower of wishful thinking, these words you’re about to read were born from suffering.

I’ve endured what many would say is every parent’s nightmare. In 2005, my five-year-old daughter, Emma, died in a fire that destroyed not only our home, but wrecked our lives. The destruction didn’t stop there. Eight years later, my marriage crumbled under the weight of grief.

As I sifted through the rubble, I searched for something —anything that would stabilize me. That would steady my faith and ground me so I could stand. So I could survive.

In those early days after Emma died, I sat with my journal and tried to read my Bible. Sorrow wrapped its fingers around my heart and squeezed until I could barely breath. Why did this happen? How could this happen? Where was God in the middle of all of this?

I searched the Scriptures for something to cling to, for truth to help make sense of the destruction death left in its wake. I stumbled across this truth:“Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13, NLT)

Nothing about my life felt good at that time. Truthfully, nothing about it was good. And yet I couldn’t ignore the words I just read.  Was it possible that God could be good even in this?

Searching for Goodness

I began to search for His goodness —His definition, not my own. I learned He is not a permissive parent, allowing us to gorge on every whim and desire like Pinocchio experienced on Pleasure Island. That place where boys did what they wanted and were as naughty as naught could be.

Was that the kind of life that was good? Not even according to Disney. Fast forward as we watch the magic of the island gradually turn boys who acted like jackasses into donkeys, sold into a lifetime of humiliation and slavery in circuses and mines. What looked like enjoyment and a life of freedom and fun, became a trap into a lifetime of bondage.

And yet our minds still struggle to reconcile the suffering we see with the God who loves us. We begin to assume that because there is suffering, He is not good. Pastor and author Tim Keller explains that for those confident of their own insight, suffering actually disproves the existence of God. They reason that if He really was good, He would want to end suffering. He could do that because He is all-powerful, but since there is evil and brokenness, they determine that God can’t be both, so they believe He is not good.

Jesus’ disciples were confident of their own insight when they saw a man blind from birth. They thought they knew the answer to why he suffered when they asked Jesus. Was it his sin? The sin of his parents? Jesus replied, “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sin. This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.” (John 9:3)

Searching for Truth

Because God is all-powerful, nothing is out of His control. While your world may feel chaotic, there is purpose. And because He is perfectly righteous, everything will work together for good in the end (Genesis 50:20).

Please hear me —death is never good. Jesus wept when he saw the grief from the death of His friend, Lazarus. He wept even though He was about to raise him from the dead. 

My daughter’s death will never be good. There are days when I long to hold her, to hear her giggles, to see her play with her sister. There are days when living with this distance between us is suffocating and I long for it to end, to be reunited with her.

It is in those moments when my grief feels heaviest that I’m able to turn to the One who loves me, who loves my sweet girl, and allow Him to wipe my tears and whisper truth to my soul.

You are loved, dear one.

I see your sorrow and I weep with you.

Just wait, dear one. Wait here with me, and I will wait with you. I will dry each tear and comfort each cry. I will remind you, for as long as it takes, that you are loved. That you are seen. That you are known. And that I am good.

I will show you things about this world, about yourself, about Me that you could never imagine on your own. I will reveal hidden mysteries and open your eyes to what I see. The beauty will overwhelm your sense and it will be a taste of what is to come.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared  . . . I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, ‘Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:1,3-4, NLT

Do you believe God is good even in the face of suffering? I’d love to chat with you. Please comment below or join the conversation on our Facebook page.Signature: Kim Findlay

Categories // Kim Findlay's Perspective, Truth and Denial Tags // child loss, God is good, grief, hope, is God good, Kim Findlay, suffering, truth

Finding Fun When Your Heart is Weary

06.23.2018 by Kim Findlay //

Welcome to Facets of Faith! Each week we release a new post on Tuesday exploring a specific question from three or four points of view. You can catch what Tracy and Jen shared by clicking on their names.Image: What Do You Do for Fun? (Green)

This month we’re exploring fun and, quite honestly, I almost skipped it. This question has dodged me for a couple of weeks now. All I have are some thoughts jotted down in my notebook .

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” Proverbs 17:22

Perhaps you’re wondering, like me, what’s so difficult about answering this month’s question: what do I do for fun? That’s exactly what I’ve been wrestling with — why is this proving to be so difficult? I’ve written a profile for a dating website before, so surely I have my “fun factor” figured out (true story, by the way).

I thought about making a simple list of the fun things I enjoy doing. Activities like bike riding and jewelry making, hiking and taking pictures . . . all to encourage you to think about what you enjoy doing, too. 

Then I thought about sharing a story from my childhood and crafting the lesson in a way to highlight why fun is so important.  

But nothing stuck. Nothing, that is, except the truth. So here it is . . .

I am weary, O God; I am weary and worn out, O God.” Proverbs 30:1b, NLT

How I really feel

I’m exhausted. I think change and a cross-country move and life have caught up to me and smacked me upside the head. Add on top of that the conflict our country has engaged in over uniting families and this tender heart, mercy-loving, empath is about done. The mere thought of fun right now? Ugh. I don’t even know how to finish that thought.

I thought about sharing why I’m so weary, but some of what’s happening isn’t ready to be shared and, honestly, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. For as tired as I feel, I still see God’s goodness all around. His provision. His sustaining grace. His love and mercy. His kindness. 

I’m trying to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, yet here I am, ready to skip answering this month’s question because, well, life.

How about you

Can you relate? Do you read Scripture or hear a message and know, deep in your soul, what you’re supposed to do? But then when it comes to actually doing what you’ve learned, you just seem to fall short?

Okay. Good. Now we know we’re not alone.

Here’s the thing —even though we may think we’re unable to do what we’ve learned, the truth is we’re not alone. We have the Helper, the Holy Spirit who leads and guides and prompts and strengthens. He gives us courage to embrace the undoable, the difficult, the thing that we fear most.

For me, right now? It’s not only answering this month’s questions, it’s to realize the value in making space for laughter, for brevity . . . finding fun when my heart is weary. 

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10, NLT

Here we go

So here’s my answer —unfiltered and possibly a bit unspiritual, but completely authentic.

What do I do for fun? It honestly depends on the day. Some days fun is  vegging out in front of the TV, binge-watching some adventure show the whisks me away. Shows like The Flash, Supergirl, or the Closer.

Sometimes fun looks like power-shopping for clothes for our ever-growing kids or sauntering through a second-hand shop or antique store where I hunt for treasure from years past.

There are days when I need space to rest my mind and soul and simply not think —to escape the troubles of this world by diving into a compelling story where good triumphs over evil or the underdog finally wins.

Other times fun looks like chatting with a dear friend, someone who knows and accepts me for all of my flaws and failures, who loves me no matter what. 

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9, NLT

Finding fun when my heart is weary

I received a package from a dear friend a couple of days ago. As one of the kids handed me the package,  my husband gave me that look. I assured him I hadn’t ordered another book (oh . . . books! Definitely one of my funs). 

I opened the packed and tucked inside was a Narnia coloring book. Three of my favorites all in one plain brown package: a gift, the imagination stirred by Narnia, and coloring. (I can’t draw —so I color.)

Tears welled up as I chuckled. I had prayed for encouragement early that morning. My heart was heavy with the weight of the world and I desperately cried out to God for hope. I begged Him to show me that He saw me, not just the things that I do.

It’s fun to see God work. Humbling, too. I received this gift the same day I decided to scrap my post for Facets of Faith this month. Yet as I paged through the coloring book, my heart and imagination stirred with the roar of Aslan. I began to realize that maybe setting time aside for fun wasn’t frivolous but something that breathes life into my weariness.

So don’t mind me as I steal away for a few moments of fun and color.

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

What do you do for fun when your heart is weary? Join the conversation by posting below or over on our Facebook page.

Signature: Kim Findlay

Categories // Kim Findlay's Perspective, What Do You Do for Fun? Tags // encouragement, Fun, hope, Kim Findlay, Psalms, Weary

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