Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

When All I Have to Offer is Broken

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This month at Facets of Faith we’re answering the question, “what do I have to offer?”. Tracy and Jen have shared their heart-felt responses, ones you don’t want to miss. Take a moment and jump over to their pages to see how they responded.


I (Kim) was terrified. The divorce was final and I had started the slow rebuild of all that was damaged. I felt unsure, unsteady, and unworthy. But there I sat at the computer, rereading the email for the eighth time.

We’d love to have you back to share the story of the death of your daughter and how you trusted God.

It took a few moments for the invitation to sink in. I spoke at this church a few years prior and shared my story of trusting God after the death of a child. I offered practical tips on how I learned to trust Him. But that was before the divorce.

I started to feel like a fraud as I read. What did I have to offer? My marriage fell apart and I almost did, too. I still cried. A lot. I questioned and wondered and struggled. I talked with God about my pain and loss all the time but didn’t seem to have many answers. I felt broken, damaged, and unusable.

All I wanted to do was to offer God my best. But during that season of my life, my best didn’t feel all that great. I looked around and saw other people doing great things for Him: impacting countries, writing transformational books, and making real differences in peoples’ lives.

And then there was me.

Broken. Grief-filled. Wrestling and struggling with life. Not all the time, of course. But it seemed every time I took a step or two forward, I got knocked back three or four.

I sat in front of my computer, hoping the answer would jump out from between the lines. I wanted to be honest — with Him and myself. Yes, I wanted to offer my best, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized what I really wanted to offer was perfection.

I wanted to show God the pristine pictures and put-together poses. I didn’t want to show the frustrations and painful places that still plagued me. I didn’t want him or anyone else to see all those broken pieces I kept trying to sweep up and hide.

Perhaps you can relate?

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b, NLT

My heart was broken, but it was still beating, even begun to heal. During those dark days I started to hear a quiet voice whisper soothing sounds to my soul. I experienced God in ways I’d only tasted before.

I love you.

But if you only knew . . .

I do know, and I love you. Nothing will ever change that or take you away from me.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39, NLT

But what about the time I . . .

Not even that.

But I ‘m scared. What will people say?

It’s okay. I’m with you. I will never leave you.

I have nothing to offer you, nothing good. My life is full of broken pieces.

That’s enough. Trust me with them. Watch what I can create.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20

Broken pieces. A shattered heart and failed marriage. A life filled with sorrow and years of disappointment. Oh, and tears — gallons of tears cried in the shadows. To the world, my life looked like a mess, but to God? Well, to Him, there was value. There is value.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8, NLT

Like a child offering a precious gift to a loving parent, I held out all my broken pieces and offered them all to Him. I named each piece and placed them at His feet. When I was done, I felt empty, yet somehow at peace. I trusted He would remind me of His love and grace on days I tried to take my offering back and on the days I felt strong.

I chose to trust He will do what He said and create something beautiful out of the ugly mess. So I hit reply to the email and said yes. After all, I had much to offer.

And so do you.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3, NLT

Jump in and join the conversation here or over on our Facebook page. We love to hear from you!

When to Say No to the Power of Fear

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This month at Facets of Faith we’re answering the question: when do we say no. Tracy and Jen have already shared their thoughts. Be sure to click on their names and check them out!

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When I (Kim) was a child, there was one thing I feared most: my parents’ death. One night I’d dream my mom died, another my dad. I’d often steal into their room just to make sure they were still there, still breathing, still alive.

I’m honestly not sure where this fear began to take root. Neither of my parents battled health issues. Neither had a brush with death, nor even an extended stay in the hospital, yet those feelings of fear were as real to me as the pillow that captured my tears as I slept.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.” 1 John 4:18, NLT

It’s easy to understand when a child expresses fear. We comfort. We listen. We might try to fix it. But we also quickly learn there’s no telling an 8-year old girl that the fear she feels about losing her parents isn’t real. A child is quick to show you that the truth-telling moment doesn’t bring her comfort.

So what happens when that 8 year-old girl grows up to become a 33 year-old woman and experiences those same feelings? What would you say to her? What if that woman is you? What do you say to yourself when fear dominates and controls?

Fear, itself, is a feeling, and depending on the situation, an expected one. I felt intense fear after my daughter died from a fire that destroyed our home. My worst nightmare became my vivid reality. Even so, I remember people telling me not feel fear, not to worry. She’s safe in heaven. The fire’s over. The problem? I did feel afraid. I did worry. Telling me not to feel a certain way added shame to the weight my heart carried and began to crowd out what I knew to be true about God.

The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name.’” Psalm 91:14, NLT

That’s when I knew it was time to say no. No to fear and shame dominating my life and heaping it on top of an already smothered heart. I said no to well-intentioned people controlling my healing. I said no to staying stuck in a place of bitterness and resentment. I said no to the divisive tactics of the evil one whose singular purpose is spelled out in John 10:10 – “The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy.” No to losing sight of God’s true character.

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1, NLT

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” Psalm 91:4, NLT

I don’t know how you’re not triggered all the time.

I sat in a staff meeting with three men of integrity, men who love Jesus with all their hearts. We discussed the election, its aftermath, and some situations that are weighing heavy on our hearts.

Through the course of the conversation, two of them shared something that touched a deep wound in my heart, a sorrow God has spent the past twelve years healing.

I could’ve allowed resentment to enter in because his daughter received healing when mine didn’t. I couldn’t turned bitter and spouted the other mom whose daughter is gravely ill shouldn’t get her hopes up because death takes who it wants. I could’ve allowed my feelings to barrel over the relationships I had with these three men because I felt the hurt and pain.

But I knew better. I knew it was time to say no again. No to fear of division. No to bitterness and resentment. No to damaging relationships because of the feelings that twisted and turned inside.

Instead, I cried. I hate when that happens, especially when I’m the only female in the room. But if I’m going to say no to fear and shame, I need to say yes to something that invites vulnerability and connection.

I cried and shared the fear that churned inside my heart. They had no idea, How could they? I shared how the struggle is constant, the fear and sorrow that sometimes lurks in the background, and sometimes smacks me square in the face. I shared that there are others like me, others who walk with deep unseen wounds and how we treat people really matters. I shared and we drew closer as together we said no to fear and shame.

I don’t know what lies ahead for you, for our nation, or our world, but I do know when I’m going to say no: when fear and shame dominate my thoughts. When the destruction and havoc from our enemy runs rampant through our world and in the lives of people we know and even those we don’t. When darkness looks like it may win or hatred might have the final say.

I’m grateful my little 8 year-old self faced her fear of loss, because this 45 year-old self has the courage to say no to fear’s power over my life. And when those feelings of fear and shame rise within, I will choose to say no to them again and again and again.

This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” Psalm 91:2, NLT

What are you saying no to these days? Share below or join the conversation on our Facebook page.

Kim Signature

The Transforming Power of Forgiveness

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3I’ll never forgive you as long as I live!

She was mad, furious. She was only 9 years old but determined to make her friend pay for the pain she felt. Stomping her foot she declared those words and gave voice to the feelings that festered inside.

Fast forward twenty-five years. Staring at her husband, she’s shocked at the words that spewed from her mouth, resentment burning because of what he had done. Those same words she once yelled at her friend reverberated in her heart. Resentment gave way to bitterness and bitterness wrapped its tangled roots around her heart.

Have you ever felt that way? So wounded that all you wanted to do was shout I’ll never forgive you! To have your pain avenged as you declare your woundedness at any cost. This venom release may feel cathartic, even empowering, but living that way is dangerous. A resentful heart breeds bitterness, and bitterness poisons our soul, destroying any relationships we long to experience.

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” (Hebrews 12:15, NLT)

So what’s the antidote to this poison of bitterness?

Forgiveness.

For those of us who follow Jesus, we are called to a different way to live. We are called to forgive, to live in community, and value life-giving relationships where we encourage and build each other up.

Perhaps your heart races as you read these words. But you don’t know what happened to me, you reason. If you really knew what he did, what she said, how they hurt me…

There are times, horrific times as pain cuts deep and details describe unspeakable offenses where the shards of someone’s brokenness rub up against ours and we bleed. We bleed sorrow and grief, wondering if those shattered remnants will ever heal. We bleed pain that no one knows, that perhaps we’re too afraid to share.

For that, dear one, I am so sorry. I am sorry for the pain you feel and the broken pieces you’ve collected. I’m sorry that part of your story is even in your story.

But here’s what I know because I have also experienced deep wounding at another’s hand. I know God sees you (Proverbs 24:12). He knows what happened to you and is near you (Psalm 34:18). I know He sees each tear that falls (Psalm 56:8), and hears each desperate cry (Psalm 55:17).

Here’s what I don’t know. I don’t know why this happened. I don’t know why you experienced such sorrow and grief or why the details of that particular story are details in your personal story. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the years that no one noticed. I’m sorry for the unanswered prayers and lingering questions. I’m sorry for the unhealed, tender places of your heart that you’ve walled off in self-protection.

But I also know this particular story in your life is not the entire story of your life. There is more, so much more to experience where hope and healing are possible as we’re willing to take one step toward forgiveness.

When we choose to forgive, we release the desire, and perhaps even the right, for revenge. This doesn’t mean we excuse their behavior or even choose to continue in relationship. We release the power they have over us to continue to hurt us by allowing us to set the right pieces in place before the right Person. Forgiveness shifts our gaze and provides context for the story we tell ourselves.

There is a battle going on – one that we cannot see. While it’s easy to look at someone and think they’re the one with whom we’re battling, the reality is that there is a much larger war waging on.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12

Soon after my daughter died in a fire that destroyed our home, unspeakable things were said about me from people I knew, people I loved.

At first, I wasn’t sure how to respond. The accusations made my head spin and crushed my already broken heart. But as I pressed into the lies, as I poured my heart out to my Father in heaven, He opened my eyes to the battle that raged around me. I saw brokenness and pain, fear and sorrow. I saw the battle was not about the words that were said or even the circumstances that had occurred, but about creating division and fear while destroying precious relationships.

The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy.” John 10:10a

As my gaze shifted and the story I told myself changed, I took a step toward forgiveness. I remember praying against the root of bitterness taking hold because I refused to allow the darkness to win. This choice to forgive wasn’t easy; it’s not for the faint of heart. Nor is it a sign of weakness or caving in to what had been done.

No, when I chose to forgive, I made a declaration. A declaration that God would win, that He is in control, no matter what. Forgiveness is a step of faith releasing the desire for revenge or punishment to the One who is fighting for me, the One who is for me, and at work within me.

As He is for you.

The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:14, NLT

When you choose to forgive, you release the power to the One who restores and redeems. It draws you nearer to the presence and heart of God. Because forgiveness is not easy, it is not a natural response to our wounding.

Forgiveness is a gift, a gift for me and for those with whom I’m in relationship. God tenderly heals the darkest corners and my deepest wounds as I pour out my hurt before Him, inviting Him in, asking Him to move and protect, to redeem and restore it all. He has transformed my distrust into deep intimacy, and my story from tragedy to triumph.

And it all began with a step toward forgiveness.

What about you? Does bitterness have a hold of your heart or are you learning the power and gift of forgiveness?

Kim Signature