This month we’re excited to introduce someone new joining the conversation here at FACETS of Faith.  I (Tracy) met Kiersten at a Christian business women’s group and was drawn to her right away. When we had the opportunity to pray with one another, well, that sealed the deal! Kiersten gave a brave yes when I asked her to consider writing for us (perhaps God is calling you to one as well). I love how God stretches and grows us through invitation. Without further ado, let’s see how Kiersten responded.

When I was asked to contribute to Facets of Faith, I was honored and excited to bring my thoughts to a writing. This will be fun!  I responded with a quick, “ABSOLUTELY”.

Then I thought.  Wait, I am not a writer.  I have never taken any classes in writing or blogging.  My mind then went to, well, if she asked me to share, there is some purpose in it.  I proceeded still optimistic I could bang this out quickly given a few hours of quiet time.  Oh man was I wrong!  Writing this has been challenging.  Challenging and yet eye opening. For me, the perspective God gave, ultimately, freeing.  Praise the Lord!

Maybe what gets splashed on this page will only be for me, as God has woken me to some things I wasn’t seeing. But maybe something in the words will touch you too.  That is my hope.

After weeks of trying to write and being blocked over and over, this is what I have to say on “What is the root that I continue to trip over”.   Unforgiveness has affected my life.

Hmmmm, but I am the overly forgiving type.  I am quick to forgive. Maybe even a push over at times.  I am a peacemaker, fulfilled when all is well, and everyone is happy.

I will do almost anything to keep the peace.   Quick to forgive, my goal is to get us back to a happy place.   I strive for peace.

I began to think about the topic at hand, deeper, praying, seeking. I desired God’s wisdom for me personally, so I could write something profound.

Forgiveness, oh yes, I have this!  God has forgiven me,  so I am asked to forgive others.   Yes, that is what I try to do all the time, so sure, I can write on this.  No problem!

Hahahahahhaha!

That is the expression I feel right now. As I look back on this last month, I have attempted to type this at least 10 times.   Writer’s block after writer’s block, and I am not a writer!  What the heck.  Finally….

Here is what God revealed to me regarding the root I keep tripping over.

For me, it has more to do with not becoming a slave to human beings, than it does unforgiveness.

I forgave someone who hurt me DEEPLY.

I will spare you the ugly details.   Let’s just say this one relationship that went off the rails effected every crevice of my life at the time.  When someone you trust, admire, look up to, and believe has your back, turns on you and hurts you with their words and actions, you find yourself crushed and questioning. When they throw you under the bus to others, lie about you, threaten you, manipulate the situation, and then verbally abuse you, it devastates.

But through the grace of God, I forgave her.  I forgave her for hurting me, and I asked for resolution even though I was abused in the situation.   Well, that didn’t end well. A narcissist can’t be reasoned with.  But…

Jesus can speak to that person on my behalf even as He speaks and ministers to my heart. His words are soothing balm. Regardless of whether I ever see a changed heart in the other person, I know Jesus more because He walked me through the valley and brought me to the hopeful place called forgiveness.

That was years ago.

So why did this painful relationship re-emerge as I considered forgiveness?  Why God is she coming to my mind again? I am over that!  Oh God, no, do I have to forgive her again?  Oh, Lord, please. I am over that already.

Then God lovingly showed me, no, you don’t need to forgive her again. You already did that.  She was the most difficult person to forgive, because she hurt you the most. And you forgave her anyway. That is what I ask of you.  Well done, My daughter.

What God showed me is, forgiveness isn’t just successful when both sides come to repentance and grace.  Forgiveness is my job regardless of the other person’s response.  It  is letting go of the pain and accepting that person’s sin, and seeing them past their hurtful ways.  Praying for their best good and then dusting my feet off and moving on, as Matthew 10:14 says, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.”

I have heard the saying about leaving a situation physically but not leaving it inside your mind and heart.  It’s time I forgive myself for the time I wasted looking for human acceptance and approval.

The root I was tripping over is found in 1 Corinthians 7:23:  “You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings.”

Forgiveness.  It’s a beautiful thing.

Other relationships where I have been hurt have been forgiven and easily resolved.  Just today someone forgave me when I unintentionally hurt her. She is someone I care deeply about.  I didn’t realize my lack of awareness caused a hurt in her.  We talked and shared. Our conversation ended in laughter.   I asked her to forgive me, and she gave me grace.

Some will.  Some won’t.  Forgive anyways and when needed dust your feet off and move on.  You were bought at a HIGH price!  Let no one come between your relationship with Jesus.  No one.

Lord I pray You remove this root in me forever!

Lord, thank You for Your gift of forgiveness to every one of us. Your sacrifice gave us the ability to receive it and, with Your grace, to give it. Help us all, Lord, not to trip over the roots of unforgiveness, people pleasing, and false idols. Help us to be still and know that You are God. In Jesus’ name, amen!

Join the conversation on our Facebook page. We’d love to hear how the cleansing love and grace of God has helped you walk the path of forgiveness.