How Do You See 2020?

01.09.2020 by Tracy Stella //

This is the not the piece I thought I’d be writing when the Facets team selected our topic. However, God knew. He is fully aware of each of our situations, and I am reminded of this as I navigate these waters, the ones I wish I weren’t swimming in. Through it all, I know the Lord is FAITHFUL. That is a certainty, an anchor I can cling to. And I do.

I was going to bypass selecting a word for the new year (a word to live by and guide me like a compass in case you are unfamiliar with the idea). I felt like everyone was doing it now, and I’m not one who wants to do what everyone else is doing. I also don’t want to get into a spiritual rut, and just do something because I’ve always done it a certain way. In my opinion, that’s how faith becomes stale and flat. God is alive and vibrant and always up to new things.

However.

However, God began stirring my heart in late December to select a word as my compass for 2020. I’ll spare you all the details of how we landed on the word “Joy”, because those aren’t all that important to anyone other than myself. So, my primary word for the year is “Joy”, and I believe God gave me a secondary word “Refreshment”. He gave me a picture of a book title where there’s a primary, larger title coupled with a secondary, smaller one. I believe refreshment is a byproduct of joy, so it makes sense to me that God would couple them together.

It might look something like this:

JOY

Refreshment

A generous person will prosper;

whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.─Proverbs 11:25 NIV

I really liked this verse when God pointed it out to me. I could wrap my brain around the idea of refreshing others. I have learned it really IS a blessing. In God’s goodness, He shows us how wonderful we feel when we do good unto others. There’s so much self-absorption in the world (and I’m not immune to it myself). But when I remember the goodness of the Lord, how truly good He has been to me, and I allow myself to be a part of His plan, it’s beautiful. Magnificent (not because of anything I get to do) …. Please don’t mistake what I’m saying. I’m sharing because God blesses US so much when we do. Even in the hard moments, like this one if I’m being honest, He is blessing me. So, my hope is that God uses me to refresh you, and in the refreshing, I too am refreshed. Because I need it. And He knows it!

Recently, I received heart breaking news someone precious to me died of a drug overdose. The news took my breath away. I went into a state of shock and grief threatened to overwhelm my heart at the futility of it. I couldn’t process what had happened to this precious one in that moment. I had to put it in a box and place it on a shelf with the help of Jesus. Jesus, you know I can’t engage in this right now. Please help me to keep the emotions at bay until I can safely process them with You.

God is faithful. He answered my prayer. Thank You, Jesus! He gave me His grace to engage in activities I had to take care of (for hours and hours). About 6 hours after hearing the news, I was finally able to let myself consider what happened. I pulled over in a school parking lot, not even waiting until I arrived home. Slowly, I turned the valve of emotion on. Like a torrent, tears flooded. I’d come prepared. There was a box of tissues in my passenger seat. I knew when I finally let myself “go there” I’d need them.

The tragedy of her death broke my heart (still does). I consider her family, her children, and all the things she dreamed of doing. I got the privilege and honor of walking closely alongside this precious one for the better part of a year almost every day. I heard her story, the hard bits, the things she’d had to overcome. She was brave. She was special. She learned how much the Lord loves her and received healing from the One with the most tender of touch. She overcame much. She learned to grieve, a treasured moment too sacred to share publicly, but I got to see God at work in her life. Powerfully. And it was beautiful.

As I consider one of my treasured memories of her, I am reminded of the importance of grieving a loss in season. So, I give myself permission to grieve. It’s healthy. And then I search out Joy. Because I have to do that too. She’d want God to do good things with it, and so I will. I’ll fight my way through it. I am fighting my way through it.

God gave me the word “Joy” before her death, knowing I’d need to seek Joy, to search it out, and to use it to find my way back to Him and to hope.

Joy isn’t the absence of sorrow. It’s a choice. Especially in times like these.

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.─John 14:24

This was advice Jesus gave to the disciples, preparing them for the grief they’d experience at His death and all they’d endure. I believe it is for us as well. Part of the choosing of joy can only be sourced in the name of Jesus. When we can’t get to that place on our own, we can turn to Him. We ask. We receive. And our joy is complete even in our grief.

Sourcing Joy on our good days is easy. It’s in the dark days that we need Him to hold our hand and walk us into the radiant light of His presence which will always lead us closer to Him and point us to every fruit of the spirit, including joy. It’s part of our “DNA”. It’s in us if we are believers. We have love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, & self-control (Gal 5:22). Through prayer, God helps us access Joy. Sometimes, it’s supernatural.

How do I know? He’s done it for me. He’s DOING IT for me.

So, how DO I see 2020?

My vision blurred. My ears rang. Head throbbed. All my senses impacted in early 2020 with the horrible news of someone precious leaving this world far too soon, someone who had so much potential, someone who struggled (as we all do in some way or another).

Yet.

Yet there is victory. Her story isn’t over. God is using hers to help write others’ stories too. I know He won’t waste what happened to her. I’ve asked Him to wring every ounce of good He possibly can from the tragedy of her death. Somehow, some way, He will use it for good (even though her death is not good, not at all).

Maybe you are reading this and you struggle with addiction. Get help! You have so much more to do and you CAN have victory with Christ’s help. Don’t struggle alone. It’s a dangerous place to live. Surround yourself with God’s love, healthy people who have traveled the same path and are standing on the other side (NA, AA, Celebrate Recovery – whatever works best for you), and find people to encourage you on your recovery journey. Fight! Because your life MATTERS! People will MISS YOU if you aren’t here. FIGHT! You have it in you! Don’t give up on yourself or your future. You are too important to this world. Whatever healing you need to do, let God do it with you. There’s a reason for addiction. No one chooses it. No one. Whatever the hurt is beneath, don’t bury it. Look at it in 2020 and let God give you a clearer vision of what He has for you. Bring it into the light of God’s love and let Him heal it. If you need professional help, seek it. Don’t ever be ashamed. We all need help sometimes. All. It’s what we’re supposed to do. God calls us to love one another. Helping each other …. Well, that’s part of God’s plan. If you feel alone, know that you NEVER are. God is closer than a breath. He won’t let you down. His love will meet you right where you are. He’s been in bars, strip clubs, prisons, hotel rooms, and in a house that feels lonely because you’re the only one in it. His presence isn’t just for church. His church is everywhere, not confined to a building. Remember that.

So, how DO I see 2020?

The fog clears and lifts. It doesn’t stay cloudy forever when we fight back with Joy. So, I CHOOSE to see 2020 through eyes of Joy. It’s what God has called me to. He calls us all to Joy. (And this joyful photo was taken before Christmas, before I knew I needed a smile.)

Why is Joy so important? I believe God placed a few ideas on my heart as I navigate these waters. He wants me to know this, but I believe He wants you to know these things too.

Joy is our Comfort

God doesn’t want us mired down in our grief, whatever the loss. It could be the death of someone precious, it could be the loss of a job, the loss of a dream, etc. There are a lot of things that feel as if they are snatched away too soon.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.─Matthew 5:5 NIV

God’s word says we are blessed as we mourn. Why? Because God comforts us in our loss. He sees our heartbreak. He sees our brokenness, and He gives us the gift of His presence in special ways. I always feel closest to Him when I need Him most. I see Him more easily because I’m seeking Him more earnestly. Where are You in this, God? I need to see You. I need to know You are near. Show me evidence of You. I need You to minister to me.

And He does.

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.─Psalm 126:5 NKJV (emphasis mine)

We reap a harvest of joy as we allow God to comfort us. Joy is one of the tools He uses to effectively minister to our hearts, helping us to hold our head up and keep going. So, when you find yourself wondering, Why are you so downcast, oh my soul? (Psalm 43:5) Pray that God ministers to you through His ministry of joy which brings comfort beyond our comprehension.

Joy is our Peace

When we look at the fruit of the spirit, we see peace positioned directly after joy.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!─Galatians 5:22-23 NLT (emphasis mine)

I don’t believe anything is accidental in Scripture, including the proximity of joy to peace. Perhaps peace is best possible out of the overflow of joy. The good news is that if you look closely at the verse, God is the One producing it. When we ask for His help, He’ll help us access it. Some days we just won’t naturally have Joy in our hearts. It’s especially in those times we should seek His Joy so we can walk in peace.

The enemy has an all-out war waged against our peace. He’s trying to render us ineffective. We can fight back with Joy. Need more assurance this “Joy thing” isn’t all on you? Let’s see what this scripture has to say.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.─Romans 15:13 NIV (emphasis mine)

Our God of hope will fill us with all joy and peace. Our part? Trust in Him.

Okay, God. We don’t always understand, but we will trust You. Please fill us with all joy and peace. Let us walk in joy and the peace of knowing You are never caught off guard by our circumstances. We find peace in Your presence. It’s also where we find fullness of joy. Forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

Joy is our Calling

Pray that I may be kept safe…so that I may come to you with joy, by God’s will and in your company be refreshed.─Romans 15-31-32 NIV (emphasis mine)

The Apostle Paul prayed he would be kept safe so he could carry out His assignment. Paul’s desire was to come to others WITH JOY BY GOD’S WILL. God has assignments for each of us to complete. In part, that is our calling. But we are also called to do it with joy by God’s will. How we do what God has set before us is just as important as what He sets before us. When we spend time with others on mission, we help one another. When one falls down, the other lifts him or her up. That’s by God’s design. I have been refreshed by others in my moments of weakness, even knowing they are praying for me helps beyond measure.

Let’s be that refreshment for one another. Let’s come to one another with Joy by God’s will in what we do each day. None of us knows what another person is going through. God does. When He calls us to a person, there is always purpose in it─for them, for us. Let’s refresh one another with Joy. The world is weary. We are called to be different.

You may be wondering how we can fulfill this calling of Joy when, sometimes, it’s incredibly hard. Keep reading. =)

Joy is our Strength

How do we do “the hard thing” and exhibit joy when, if it were left to us, that wouldn’t be our disposition based on circumstances?

Well, we don’t have to be strong enough. We just need to know the One who is.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.─2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV (emphasis mine)

Well, we don’t have to be strong enough. We just have to know the One who is. And when we do, He’ll move mountains to show us we are far stronger than we think. Neither Hercules nor the Hulk have anything on the power of the Holy Spirit who guides us into His power to do immeasurably more than we think or imagine.

Joy isn’t some silly, slap happy notion. God wants us to fight for our Joy because it is our strength.

This day is holy to the Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.─Nehemiah 8:10b NIV (emphasis mine)

I suppose, in part, that is why God has called me to notice and document something that brings me joy each and every day this year. Noticing things big and small that bring me joy will strengthen me for the journey He has ahead. I’ve already noticed a sunrise, my silly dog bringing me his toys (incessantly), a smile from my sister, a scented candle burning in my office, a song that comes on at the perfect time that ministers to my heart, and that’s just what I’ve seen so far.

What we look for is what we will see. So, I’m on a mission to see Joy. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Joy is our Witness

Joy is at the heart of God’s plan for human beings. The reason for this is worth pondering awhile: Joy is at the heart of God himself. We will never understand the significance of joy in human life until we understand its importance to God. I suspect that most of us seriously underestimate God’s capacity for joy.(1)

When I read this in John Ortberg’s The Life You’ve Always Wanted, Spiritual Disciplines For Ordinary People, it made me pause to consider God’s capacity for joy. Have you ever thought about it? I really hadn’t until that moment.

People who don’t know God often are afraid of Him. They gauge Him as this dour judge handing out sentences of misery and thou shalt nots. If only they truly knew the desires of His heart, they would weep. There is SO MUCH GOODNESS in God we can’t fathom. The world can’t contain it. Heck, if I only look at MY LIFE and see His goodness in it and how much joy He has brought my way, its abundance wouldn’t be contained. And that doesn’t mean I’ve lived some sheltered, perfect life. What it does mean is that He has implanted great joy in my life, even in the midst of hard things.

Some people close to me think God is angry at them (or could be). Again, if they only knew His capacity for joy (and love, mercy, grace, and every other good thing we can think of) they’d sit under a broom tree, throw dust on their heads, and grieve all the time they’d lost with the Lord, of knowing Him and His capacity to bring them great joy.

Well, what if we are the way for them to see that? We are, don’t you know? When people observe us accessing the joy of the Lord in a difficult season, it says something. It says something about our Lord. People know different when they see it. Don’t we want to look different?

I want someone to know Jesus because they knew me and saw His power pulsating through my life. Because Joy in times of trial is supernatural. Only God generates that. Our light shines brightest in the dark.

As products of God’s creation, creatures made in his image, we are to reflect God’s fierce joy in life. (1)

Joy is our Weapon

If you ask me, there’s a reason the enemy comes so hard after our Joy. It’s related to the above. He is fully aware how fragrant our Joy smells to the world, to those who don’t know it. They may know happiness, but Joy, that’s something altogether different.

The enemy doesn’t want us to be Ambassadors for Christ, so he’ll present situations that feel unbearable sometimes. But that’s a lie. With God all things are possible. We are never alone, and we are most visibly God’s WARRIORS when we wield Joy like a weapon that slashes through the darkness.

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”─John 16:33 NLT (emphasis mine)

God has already overcome the world. It’s done. The enemy has been defeated. And when we remember that, it’s a much quicker journey to Joy.

He’ll try to steal it. Let’s not let him!

Instead, let’s use the Joy of the Lord as a weapon for kingdom advancement. Let’s take back some territory from the darkness. Let’s make the loss of precious ones like I just lost be the motivation to say, “No more.” Let’s show the world our brilliant lights for Christ, because they NEED to know Him. I can’t imagine trying to process this without His love, comfort and grace that points me to His joy even in the darkest moments. Don’t we want the world to know that too? We have been given a gift, the presence of God to meet us in our moments of need. Let’s help others see why walking with Jesus is different, why it matters, and why they might want to consider it for themselves.

Faith is an individual journey for each of us. We can be people pointing to reasons to pursue Christ, or we can be a reason not to.

I know God wants us to illuminate the world. Let’s plug into His joy and make some advancements. Let’s look a little different. For Him.

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”─John 8:12 NLT (emphasis mine)

Let’s follow Him and walk out of darkness. While we do, let’s help someone else into the light as well.

Joy is our Worship

Joy is worship. When we feel otherwise, yet still choose to exhibit joy God sees our sacrifice. Choosing joy doesn’t mean denying what happened or our associated feelings; we must deal with those with God’s help. It is healthy to process our wounds with the Lord. But while we are dealing with those feelings and allowing the Lord to point us to the hope, healing, & abundance of life He has for us, He asks us to do so with Joy. In that, He sees our sacrifice. It’s an offering precious and beautiful unto Him.

One of the most beautiful ways to exhibit joy is through a worship song. The psalmist points us to just that point.

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;

            it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

Praise the LORD with the harp;

            make music with the ten-stringed lyre.

Sing to him a new song;

            play skillfully, and shout for joy.─Psalm 33:1-3 NIV (emphasis mine)

Sometimes when I’m at a loss for what to do, I sing. I surrender to the song and let God show me His sweetness. It never fails that He plays the perfect soundtrack to HELP ME play skillfully and shout for joy. The soundtrack He has played over the last several days has too many songs to note, but they all pointed me to Him, to healing, to hope, all while acknowledging my humanness and the grief such a loss of life can hit us with.

Sometimes we just need to sing in faith. He does the rest. Praise Jesus!

Here’s a song God had on my playlist these last few days. I Raise A Hallelujah by Bethel Music, Jonathon & Melissa Helser.

Maybe you need to hear it too. And don’t forget to “sing a little louder”; I’d say that counts as shouting for joy.

Joy is our Salvation

What saved me from utter despair about the tragedy of the precious one’s loss of life is this: I know she was saved. I went back and watched her baptism video. Here’s a transcript.

This precious one was asked, Do you love Jesus with all your heart?

Precious one shook her head affirmatively, Yes

This precious one was asked, Do you accept Jesus as the leader of your life, your Lord?

Precious one nodded again, Yes!

This precious one was asked, Do you accept Jesus as the Savior, your Savior?

Precious one shook her head so that her ponytail bobbed up and down in agreement, Yes!

And then it was proclaimed, We baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit as she was dipped into the baptismal and was brought up a Child of God with full access to His kingdom inheritance.

There was a great group of witnesses who broke out in jubilant celebration here on earth and in heaven that day. And I know she was greeted at the gates of heaven by more celebration once she went on to be with the Lord just a few days ago.

As I watched her baptism video and paused it at the moment she first came up out of the water, I am reminded of what Joy looks like. It’s written all over her face! It’s beautiful!

It gives me great comfort to know that she is not dead; this is not good-bye. I know how much she loved Jesus. I heard her heart in that many times. God has reassured me she is snuggled safely in His arms where she has no more tears, no more sorrows. She is finally at peace.

Thank you for that gift, Lord. It gives me the greatest Joy of all to know she was saved and that she gets to spend all of eternity with You!

Until I see you again, precious one, celebrate with Joy your time with Jesus. We’ll have a party in heaven together with all the other saints who love and miss you already!

So, how DO I see 2020?

This morning, God gifted me with a beautiful sunrise. I looked and saw glorious hues of pink and purple on the horizon.

This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. ─Psalm 118:24

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1“The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People.” The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People, by John Ortberg et al., Zondervan, 2015, pp. 61–63.

How Does God Respond To You?

10.22.2019 by Ever Moore //

The FACETS of Faith team is excited to introduce you to Ever Moore. She is a dynamic, joyful woman with an enthusiasm for life that is contagious! We are so blessed to share her with you. Her story is a powerful one, like the tales you might read in an adventure book. You’ll see right away that she has a gift for story telling. Here’s a bit of hers.

Hi ladies! I want to start by sharing one of my favorite verses. When I consider God’s responses in my life, it feels relevant.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”─Romans 15:13

So how does God respond to me? This is a tough question but also one of my favorites. It allows me to share the goodness of God. I have seen God respond to me in so many ways. For example, I have experienced physical response through prayer where people or myself received healing on the spot.

I have also seen God respond with a big yes to my prayers and a very big no to a lot of stuff in my life. Have you ever prayed for something for awhile and God gives you the opposite of what you’re praying for? This happens to me all the time. Here is just one of the big no’s in my life that turned out to be the best no I ever received.

My mother and I are very close. I wanted to live by her for the rest of my life. My mama and I were like best friends. We enjoyed fetching water together. Even the 2-hour one-way walk to the farm, items perched on our heads and babies balanced on our backs, seemed like a short journey. Twelve years ago I remember praying for a husband who was going to take care of me and my boy Sam. Little did I know the answer to my prayer was going to be a handsome, blue-eyed, tall man all the way from Illinois who traveled to northwestern Zambia.

Without God this encounter would not have happened. With God I found my husband who came to the dusty, dry place no one wants to move to. Even the locals have this saying, “I feel like a mushroom. I was born here, grow here, and I will get rotten here.” Ha ha ha! It’s actually fun for the locals. When they say that, we usually laugh.

My husband Ryan was in the Peace Corps. He lived in my village for two years. The first time I saw him sitting on the tree stump I actually thought I saw Jesus! Ha ha ha! It was definitely love at first sight for both of us. We dated for over a year before he asked me to marry him. I actually forgot the part that he was not from my village and not really from Zambia or Africa at all. We never really talked about that, I think because I really didn’t know any other world apart from my world because it felt perfect.

The night of our wedding people celebrated with dancing and singing. When most people were celebrating, my mom cried all night long. I also grieved for the life I was leaving behind, but one thing I have always held onto through everything in life is that My God does not make mistakes. Everything He does works for good. That hope was the only thing that even made me step on those foreign moving stairs at the airport. I dropped my bags and stepped onto those crazy moving stairs until I heard, “Madam you left your bags!”

There is freedom that comes with knowing God is my pilot, and I just need to sit and enjoy the ride. There will be bumps on the flight, of course, but I have to trust my Captain. I never knew in a million years I would be raising my kids without my mother. It’s very tough some days, but my mother and I are even closer than before. We talk almost every day on the phone. I visit home nearly every year, and I am still working on her coming to visit me here. She keeps telling me she can’t, because she is so scared of flying. As much as I wanted to live by my mom, get married in Zambia, and stay where all was familiar, God had a whole different plan than the one I was praying for.

Today, my marriage to this awesome man who is the father of my 4 amazing children has blessed so many people in my village, including my first son whom I had before I met Ryan. My son had a cyst on his brain that would have killed him without medical treatment. God knew I had to marry someone from so far away so my son could get saved too, like the prayer was already answered before we even prayed it.

What I have come to realize is God will never stop fighting for what He has promised us. It started by our King dying on the cross so we can receive salvation.

So, if God was willing to die for you, what else do you think He wouldn’t do for you?

If you are waiting for God to respond to you, don’t lose hope. He is never late. He is always on time. Look back upon your life. Look at the highs and the lows, and you will see God has always been with you through it all. He will never leave nor forsake you. He is on your side.

Don’t forget what team we are playing on. We are on the offense team. You and I know we win in the end no matter what obstacles are in our way today. We have to choose joy and gratitude, because we know that the Lord our God has got us.

Now I would like you to repeat this after me, “No matter where I am, God is always with me. He will respond to my prayers according to His will not mine.”

I have so much more to share with you ladies, I hope soon. I didn’t even get to the good stuff yet.

Join the conversation on our Facebook page. We’d especially love it if you’d encourage our guest contributor this month!

What Root Are You Tripping Over?

06.04.2019 by Tracy Stella //

The FACETS of Faith team is excited to share what God placed on our hearts for this month’s topic. Why? Because we believe God’s kids are going to get some freedom! That’s our prayer: freedom and fullness of life for all who read and engage with what God inspired us to write. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule. Snuggle up. Settle in. And let’s see what He has to say to us all. He’s given Kim, Jen, and our guest writer a voice in this as well. Can’t wait to see what God has to say through them too!

Life is full of moments, some of them defining. Choosing to forgive is one of them. I know forgiveness is complicated and getting to that place isn’t always easy. Forgiveness has its roots in love. Our lives are better for it. When we invest ourselves in the conscious choice to choose love, we win.

We can’t choose love if we don’t know who He is. Love is sacrificial like Jesus.

“If you have experienced the power of love and forgiveness in your life, you’ll probably give away a lot of both. …. We can reflect the angst we felt or the grace we’ve received.”1

At this point in my life, I’ve experienced God’s love in profound and deep ways. That wasn’t always the case. I didn’t always know His love for me. It was always there waiting. It just took me awhile to be ready to receive it. I pray you have encountered this love, a well so deep, a knowing so intimate and personal, and safe. Jesus, He’s safe. (I feel like someone needs to know that right here, right now.) If that’s you, you need to know Jesus is SAFE. I get that. And He is!

I’ve experienced deep violations in my life. Maybe you have too. The ones they write trauma recovery books about. If that’s you, I pray you open your heart to the safety who is Jesus. Let Him into your life. I promise, sweet one, He is safe, true, loving and kind. In fact, I just read this today. Perhaps, it’s for you.

The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.─Psalm 145:9

Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous─how well I know it.─Psalm 139:14

God made you. He thinks you’re marvelous! And He has compassion for you. He’s not looking at your situation through blind eyes. He knows you. He knows what hurts you. He knows what He has for you, and it’s so much greater than unforgiveness. He knows it will be hard, but He’s not asking you to do anything He wasn’t willing to do Himself.

Jesus forgave many who betrayed Him, belittled Him, and took advantage of Him when all He wanted to do was make this world and the people in it better, good.

Yes, He’s God. But He was also fully man. I’m grateful for that truth, because it helps me to know He understands. He understands, sweet one!

Forgiveness Frees Us from Tripping Over Pride’s Root

Unforgiveness has its roots in pride. How’s that, you ask?

If I choose not to forgive, it’s as if I’m saying my problem is bigger than my God. It’s as if I’m saying my thoughts are higher than His thoughts. It’s as if I’m saying I know more about what’s good for me than God does. The problem, the violation wasn’t good, but where God desires to bring us is good.

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.─Psalm 18:19 NIV

Forgiveness is the spacious place God desires to bring us to. It’s a peaceful place, one where we can breathe freely. Fully.

Does God have great grace for us on our journey toward forgiveness? You bet He does! And when we need to travel that path again, He’ll walk with us. Sometimes, it’s not as simple as merely saying, “I forgive you.” But it’s a good place to start.

Forgiveness is like a decadent wedding cake. There are many layers to it. God gets that, because He gets us. All He’s asking for us to do is bite into it. His promise is that we’ll taste His goodness when we do.

The thing that happened to us isn’t good, but God is. His desire is to set captives free. Forgiveness is a giant key that opens the door to our freedom.

Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.─Proverbs 16:18 NASB

Pride trips us up with a knotted root of unforgiveness.

On the other hand, forgiveness elevates us.

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.─Colossians 3:12-13 BSB

If you have accepted Christ into your heart, you ARE one of His elect, holy and beloved. Stop right there. You are holy. You are beloved.

From that position, clothe yourself with compassion and humility.

Forgive ANY complaint you have against one another.

Any.

(I know. I know. Sometimes, that’s hard. Don’t do it in your own strength. Do it in HIS.)

I’m forever taking the pressure off myself. There’s just too much in the world. A lot could weigh us down. We can’t get to where God is taking us if we let that happen. Choose to seek Him as you take a bite out of unforgiveness. Here’s a prayer to start:

Lord, You know my heart and You know every act committed against me. You also know the things I have done to hurt others. Thank You for Your gift of forgiveness to me, so that I don’t need to wear the weight of that burden. Help me, instead, Lord to put on your righteousness and holiness. Clothe me in Your love, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I can forgive if you help me to get there, Lord. Please bring me to that spacious place. Help me to bask in Your love and peace as I do so, Lord. In Jesus’ precious name, amen!

Forgiveness Frees Us to Receive God’s Abundance

When God knows He can trust us to forgive, He can trust us with more.

To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.─Matthew 13:12 NLT

Joseph comes to mind. He was deeply betrayed by his brothers. He was put in a well and left for dead, all because they were jealous and annoyed with their baby brother who had a God-given dream and needed some growing up to do as to how he shared it. He suffered and was estranged from his family, even his brother Ben (because I like to imagine Joseph called him that versus Benjamin). I drop syllables on people’s names whom I’m close to. Jennifer becomes Jen. Samuel becomes Sam. So in my mind, Benjamin is Ben to Joseph.

Joseph also lost time with his father who deeply loved him. He didn’t get to make the memories with his father that his other siblings did.

We’d understand if Joseph let a bitter root of unforgiveness take over like vines that cling to a brick façade. The vines eventually tear down the structure by weakening it.

Have you ever seen a home unattended to? After awhile things deteriorate. Go back decades later and its almost unrecognizable. Overgrown and in disrepair, its former beauty and purpose hidden.

That’s what can happen to people once happy, who get wounded by other broken people when we choose not to live in the freedom of forgiveness.

Talk about clothing himself in kindness, Joseph did that!

He could have turned his brothers away when they needed food. Instead he used wisdom to test their heart. And he blessed them greatly.

Notice what I wrote above. Joseph tested their motives. Sometimes, people still aren’t safe for us. Forgive them and move on.

But sometimes it’s safe to let people stay (or to let them back in). Pray on this. Ask for God’s wisdom and discernment. And if you’ve never read the story of Joseph, I encourage you to do so. If you have, maybe God is calling you to read it again. This time through the lens of forgiveness.

Joseph rose above circumstances and was given a position of honor and authority. Nothing could thwart God’s plan for Joseph’s life. To fulfill His plan for Joseph, it did require his obedience.

Remember, when God knows He can trust us with a little, He’ll give us more. I’m not saying it will be easy, but start with small acts toward forgiveness.

Practically, what does that look like?

First, ask God to fill you with His love. It’s only out of His overflow that we can sacrificially love. Not out of a place of lack, but of much love.

Second, you could go back up and pray the prayer if you didn’t earlier.

Third, you could ask God for His wisdom and discernment as to whom is safe for you and who is not.

Fourth, pray for the person, especially if he or she is still living. No one is beyond God’s reach. No one.

Fifth, remember, just because we’re supposed to forgive those who trespass against us doesn’t mean we give them full access to tramp upon our hearts. God will show you who and how much access to give.

Lastly, ask God if there is a tangible way you can demonstrate forgiveness.

Maybe there is an act of “releasing” that you can do, ceremonially, that releases that person or circumstance to God. Like planting a flower (a bulb) that symbolizes forgiveness coming up from the darkness. In the future, whenever you see the flower come up each spring, you’ll be reminded of the fresh renewal forgiveness brings.

Maybe it’s placing lights along your sidewalk as a reminder that God’s path is well lit and He’s leading you on a journey toward forgiveness. Every time you see the light, be reminded of Christ’s light and love for you as He leads you on the narrow path. But the path of forgiveness leads to goodness, peace, and truth. The one that leads you to Him.

For me I have another bite of wedding cake God is calling me to take. It’s an easier bite than those I took earlier. The lump in my throat from the pain of the situation made the first bites of forgiveness hard to swallow. That’s how it often is, but if we choose to chew the pain and let Christ help us, we’ll live vibrantly again. Fully. Wholly. Completely.

I don’t want to live a half-eaten life. I don’t only want the leftovers. I want a full plate of God’s goodness. So I’ll chew, even when it’s hard.

The person I’m feeling called to bless didn’t directly hurt me, but a shared circumstance did (kind of – it’s complicated – it’s life, after all). I’ve felt led to pray for this person, so I have. And now I am feeling led to bless the person, which I will do. I’ve been praying about how God would want me to bless this person. He’s given me a few ideas, and we’re still working out the details.

He just kind of dropped the idea in my brain yesterday while I was out on a motorcycle ride. (Because that’s one of the spacious places He brings me to where I find peace. The open road, the more winding the better.)

I cried a little underneath my helmet, not because I’m mad or upset anymore. I cried at God’s goodness. I knew I would never have been able to easily accept His idea to bless a person involved with a circumstance that had wounded me deeply if it hadn’t been for Him. They were kind of celebratory tears of sorts. The deep pain had turned to a “small scar”.

What happened didn’t go away, but the excruciating pain had. In its place was God’s love and peace and the ability to bless.

If that’s not a spacious place, I don’t know what is.

Forgiveness Frees Us to Take Up Great Causes

There’s a song by Francesca Battistelli that keeps going through my brain. The lyric is this:

“It’s your life–what you gonna do? The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who your heart beats for
It’s an open door”2

I want to win. Don’t you?

One of the ways we win is when we take our deepest tragedies and turn them into triumphs.

I think of the mom who lost her son in a terrible tragedy. MADD was started because a mom chose to do something worthy and worthwhile with her pain. She chose to invest in forgiveness and used that horrific event as a platform to make the world a better place.

I want that for us. I want each of us to have the courage to take some of the darkest moments of our lives and turn them into something beautiful with Christ’s help. That is my prayer for all who are reading this.

How that looks for you will be dramatically different than how it looks for me. We don’t need any copycats. We are all originals, made in God’s image, but with a specific plan and purpose. I pray God shows you what that is and how to take the dark moments of your life and turn them into something beautiful. Only He has the power to do that, to transform our thinking (and our theology). Forgive. Love. Live. Go on vacation from the enemy’s tricks and choose God’s way.

If you’ve ever been to Hawaii, you know how breathtaking it is. I’ve visited the island of Kawaii a few times. It’s nothing short of paradise. (And it always reminds me of Fantasy Island since the opening scene was shot there.) You may already know this, but for those of you who don’t, the islands were formed from volcanic eruptions. From something cataclysmic, beauty emerged. When the lava cooled, it left something to build upon.

“Somewhere along the way, a lot of us misplaced our childlike imaginations and stopped believing we could either get around the lava or build something beautiful on top of it when it cooled. We began to question what was possible and what we’re actually capable of. We ran and fell, or tried and failed, or risked and lost. … Don’t let what’s happened in your past stop you from moving forward with your future. Give it some time. We can find our way around the lava where it flowed and build something beautiful on it when it cools. … We don’t need to run from the lava anymore, but instead imagine what it might become in time.”1

Isn’t that beautiful? I’ve been very touched by the book Love Lives Here. If you’re looking for your next book, this is a good one!

There was a dream I had. It got scorched. I could relate to the lava metaphor. It was like I had something – a dream God had given me – and it was burned to the ground. All that was left were ashes and a broken heart. The lava flowed and consumed it. It oozed and clung, ember red, everything up in flames. Then fear that hadn’t been there before set in. Fear interfered like an intruder. The scars limited my mobility. My imagination wasn’t able to stretch as far as it once had.

But rather than letting the lava scare me, I feel God calling me to rebuild upon the ashes. To let any little embers remaining spark something good and beautiful, something purposeful.

God is calling me to imagine again.

I wrote in my journal, “Lord, if I imagined, what? What then?”

As I did so, tears quickly slipped down my face. They poured. Not anything like lava. Like a rush.

“What then? I do not know. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. I don’t know even if I can. What, Lord? What then? What do You have to say about this? What does the still, small voice say?”

And do you know what? He “spoke”. He cast vision afresh. He knows I’m afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again. I wasn’t afraid the first time, but sometimes the second time around makes our knees knock a bit. (At least mine.)

It takes more courage to do something twice.

We know more. We know the cost. We’re definitely counting it.

Without forgiveness, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. God helped me to forgive. He helped me to heal. And He’s helping me to rise up out of the ashes. There’s still some ash, but I see hibiscus rising up out of the ground. The colors are bright and their smell is sweet.

We’re back to where we started.

Let’s pick up our feet and step over the tangled root of unforgiveness. God’s got places He wants to take us to.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1 Goff, Maria. Love Lives Here: Finding What You Need In A World Telling You What You Want. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2017.

2 Battistelli, Francesca. “It’s Your Life,” track #4 on My Paper Heart. Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group, CAPITOL CHRISTIAN MUSIC GROUP, 2008.