The FACETS of Faith team is excited to share what God placed on our hearts for this month’s topic. Why? Because we believe God’s kids are going to get some freedom! That’s our prayer: freedom and fullness of life for all who read and engage with what God inspired us to write. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule. Snuggle up. Settle in. And let’s see what He has to say to us all. He’s given Kim, Jen, and our guest writer a voice in this as well. Can’t wait to see what God has to say through them too!
Life is full of moments, some of them defining. Choosing to forgive is one of them. I know forgiveness is complicated and getting to that place isn’t always easy. Forgiveness has its roots in love. Our lives are better for it. When we invest ourselves in the conscious choice to choose love, we win.
We can’t choose love if we don’t know who He is. Love is sacrificial like Jesus.
“If you have experienced the power of love and forgiveness in your life, you’ll probably give away a lot of both. …. We can reflect the angst we felt or the grace we’ve received.”1
At this point in my life, I’ve experienced God’s love in profound and deep ways. That wasn’t always the case. I didn’t always know His love for me. It was always there waiting. It just took me awhile to be ready to receive it. I pray you have encountered this love, a well so deep, a knowing so intimate and personal, and safe. Jesus, He’s safe. (I feel like someone needs to know that right here, right now.) If that’s you, you need to know Jesus is SAFE. I get that. And He is!
I’ve experienced deep violations in my life. Maybe you have too. The ones they write trauma recovery books about. If that’s you, I pray you open your heart to the safety who is Jesus. Let Him into your life. I promise, sweet one, He is safe, true, loving and kind. In fact, I just read this today. Perhaps, it’s for you.
The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.─Psalm 145:9
Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous─how well I know it.─Psalm 139:14
God made you. He thinks you’re marvelous! And He has compassion for you. He’s not looking at your situation through blind eyes. He knows you. He knows what hurts you. He knows what He has for you, and it’s so much greater than unforgiveness. He knows it will be hard, but He’s not asking you to do anything He wasn’t willing to do Himself.
Jesus forgave many who betrayed Him, belittled Him, and took advantage of Him when all He wanted to do was make this world and the people in it better, good.
Yes, He’s God. But He was also fully man. I’m grateful for that truth, because it helps me to know He understands. He understands, sweet one!
Forgiveness Frees Us from Tripping Over Pride’s Root
Unforgiveness has its roots in pride. How’s that, you ask?
If I choose not to forgive, it’s as if I’m saying my problem is bigger than my God. It’s as if I’m saying my thoughts are higher than His thoughts. It’s as if I’m saying I know more about what’s good for me than God does. The problem, the violation wasn’t good, but where God desires to bring us is good.
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.─Psalm 18:19 NIV
Forgiveness is the spacious place God desires to bring us to. It’s a peaceful place, one where we can breathe freely. Fully.
Does God have great grace for us on our journey toward forgiveness? You bet He does! And when we need to travel that path again, He’ll walk with us. Sometimes, it’s not as simple as merely saying, “I forgive you.” But it’s a good place to start.
Forgiveness is like a decadent wedding cake. There are many layers to it. God gets that, because He gets us. All He’s asking for us to do is bite into it. His promise is that we’ll taste His goodness when we do.
The thing that happened to us isn’t good, but God is. His desire is to set captives free. Forgiveness is a giant key that opens the door to our freedom.
Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.─Proverbs 16:18 NASB
Pride trips us up with a knotted root of unforgiveness.
On the other hand, forgiveness elevates us.
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.─Colossians 3:12-13 BSB
If you have accepted Christ into your heart, you ARE one of His elect, holy and beloved. Stop right there. You are holy. You are beloved.
From that position, clothe yourself with compassion and humility.
Forgive ANY complaint you have against one another.
Any.
(I know. I know. Sometimes, that’s hard. Don’t do it in your own strength. Do it in HIS.)
I’m forever taking the pressure off myself. There’s just too much in the world. A lot could weigh us down. We can’t get to where God is taking us if we let that happen. Choose to seek Him as you take a bite out of unforgiveness. Here’s a prayer to start:
Lord, You know my heart and You know every act committed against me. You also know the things I have done to hurt others. Thank You for Your gift of forgiveness to me, so that I don’t need to wear the weight of that burden. Help me, instead, Lord to put on your righteousness and holiness. Clothe me in Your love, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I can forgive if you help me to get there, Lord. Please bring me to that spacious place. Help me to bask in Your love and peace as I do so, Lord. In Jesus’ precious name, amen!
Forgiveness Frees Us to Receive God’s Abundance
When God knows He can trust us to forgive, He can trust us with more.
To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.─Matthew 13:12 NLT
Joseph comes to mind. He was deeply betrayed by his brothers. He was put in a well and left for dead, all because they were jealous and annoyed with their baby brother who had a God-given dream and needed some growing up to do as to how he shared it. He suffered and was estranged from his family, even his brother Ben (because I like to imagine Joseph called him that versus Benjamin). I drop syllables on people’s names whom I’m close to. Jennifer becomes Jen. Samuel becomes Sam. So in my mind, Benjamin is Ben to Joseph.
Joseph also lost time with his father who deeply loved him. He didn’t get to make the memories with his father that his other siblings did.
We’d understand if Joseph let a bitter root of unforgiveness take over like vines that cling to a brick façade. The vines eventually tear down the structure by weakening it.
Have you ever seen a home unattended to? After awhile things deteriorate. Go back decades later and its almost unrecognizable. Overgrown and in disrepair, its former beauty and purpose hidden.
That’s what can happen to people once happy, who get wounded by other broken people when we choose not to live in the freedom of forgiveness.
Talk about clothing himself in kindness, Joseph did that!
He could have turned his brothers away when they needed food. Instead he used wisdom to test their heart. And he blessed them greatly.
Notice what I wrote above. Joseph tested their motives. Sometimes, people still aren’t safe for us. Forgive them and move on.
But sometimes it’s safe to let people stay (or to let them back in). Pray on this. Ask for God’s wisdom and discernment. And if you’ve never read the story of Joseph, I encourage you to do so. If you have, maybe God is calling you to read it again. This time through the lens of forgiveness.
Joseph rose above circumstances and was given a position of honor and authority. Nothing could thwart God’s plan for Joseph’s life. To fulfill His plan for Joseph, it did require his obedience.
Remember, when God knows He can trust us with a little, He’ll give us more. I’m not saying it will be easy, but start with small acts toward forgiveness.
Practically, what does that look like?
First, ask God to fill you with His love. It’s only out of His overflow that we can sacrificially love. Not out of a place of lack, but of much love.
Second, you could go back up and pray the prayer if you didn’t earlier.
Third, you could ask God for His wisdom and discernment as to whom is safe for you and who is not.
Fourth, pray for the person, especially if he or she is still living. No one is beyond God’s reach. No one.
Fifth, remember, just because we’re supposed to forgive those who trespass against us doesn’t mean we give them full access to tramp upon our hearts. God will show you who and how much access to give.
Lastly, ask God if there is a tangible way you can demonstrate forgiveness.
Maybe there is an act of “releasing” that you can do, ceremonially, that releases that person or circumstance to God. Like planting a flower (a bulb) that symbolizes forgiveness coming up from the darkness. In the future, whenever you see the flower come up each spring, you’ll be reminded of the fresh renewal forgiveness brings.
Maybe it’s placing lights along your sidewalk as a reminder that God’s path is well lit and He’s leading you on a journey toward forgiveness. Every time you see the light, be reminded of Christ’s light and love for you as He leads you on the narrow path. But the path of forgiveness leads to goodness, peace, and truth. The one that leads you to Him.
For me I have another bite of wedding cake God is calling me to take. It’s an easier bite than those I took earlier. The lump in my throat from the pain of the situation made the first bites of forgiveness hard to swallow. That’s how it often is, but if we choose to chew the pain and let Christ help us, we’ll live vibrantly again. Fully. Wholly. Completely.
I don’t want to live a half-eaten life. I don’t only want the leftovers. I want a full plate of God’s goodness. So I’ll chew, even when it’s hard.
The person I’m feeling called to bless didn’t directly hurt me, but a shared circumstance did (kind of – it’s complicated – it’s life, after all). I’ve felt led to pray for this person, so I have. And now I am feeling led to bless the person, which I will do. I’ve been praying about how God would want me to bless this person. He’s given me a few ideas, and we’re still working out the details.
He just kind of dropped the idea in my brain yesterday while I was out on a motorcycle ride. (Because that’s one of the spacious places He brings me to where I find peace. The open road, the more winding the better.)
I cried a little underneath my helmet, not because I’m mad or upset anymore. I cried at God’s goodness. I knew I would never have been able to easily accept His idea to bless a person involved with a circumstance that had wounded me deeply if it hadn’t been for Him. They were kind of celebratory tears of sorts. The deep pain had turned to a “small scar”.
What happened didn’t go away, but the excruciating pain had. In its place was God’s love and peace and the ability to bless.
If that’s not a spacious place, I don’t know what is.
Forgiveness Frees Us to Take Up Great Causes
There’s a song by Francesca Battistelli that keeps going through my brain. The lyric is this:
“It’s your life–what you gonna do? The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who your heart beats for
It’s an open door”2
Life is full of moments, some of them defining. Choosing to forgive is one of them. I know forgiveness is complicated and getting to that place isn’t always easy. Forgiveness has its roots in love. Our lives are better for it. When we invest ourselves in the conscious choice to choose love, we win.
I want to win. Don’t you?
One of the ways we win is when we take our deepest tragedies and turn them into triumphs.
I think of the mom who lost her son in a terrible tragedy. MADD was started because a mom chose to do something worthy and worthwhile with her pain. She chose to invest in forgiveness and used that horrific event as a platform to make the world a better place.
I want that for us. I want each of us to have the courage to take some of the darkest moments of our lives and turn them into something beautiful with Christ’s help. That is my prayer for all who are reading this.
How that looks for you will be dramatically different than how it looks for me. We don’t need any copycats. We are all originals, made in God’s image, but with a specific plan and purpose. I pray God shows you what that is and how to take the dark moments of your life and turn them into something beautiful. Only He has the power to do that, to transform our thinking (and our theology). Forgive. Love. Live. Go on vacation from the enemy’s tricks and choose God’s way.
If you’ve ever been to Hawaii, you know how breathtaking it is. I’ve visited the island of Kawaii a few times. It’s nothing short of paradise. (And it always reminds me of Fantasy Island since the opening scene was shot there.) You may already know this, but for those of you who don’t, the islands were formed from volcanic eruptions. From something cataclysmic, beauty emerged. When the lava cooled, it left something to build upon.
“Somewhere along the way, a lot of us misplaced our childlike imaginations and stopped believing we could either get around the lava or build something beautiful on top of it when it cooled. We began to question what was possible and what we’re actually capable of. We ran and fell, or tried and failed, or risked and lost. … Don’t let what’s happened in your past stop you from moving forward with your future. Give it some time. We can find our way around the lava where it flowed and build something beautiful on it when it cools. … We don’t need to run from the lava anymore, but instead imagine what it might become in time.”1
Isn’t that beautiful? I’ve been very touched by the book Love Lives Here. If you’re looking for your next book, this is a good one!
There was a dream I had. It got scorched. I could relate to the lava metaphor. It was like I had something – a dream God had given me – and it was burned to the ground. All that was left were ashes and a broken heart. The lava flowed and consumed it. It oozed and clung, ember red, everything up in flames. Then fear that hadn’t been there before set in. Fear interfered like an intruder. The scars limited my mobility. My imagination wasn’t able to stretch as far as it once had.
But rather than letting the lava scare me, I feel God calling me to rebuild upon the ashes. To let any little embers remaining spark something good and beautiful, something purposeful.
God is calling me to imagine again.
I wrote in my journal, “Lord, if I imagined, what? What then?”
As I did so, tears quickly slipped down my face. They poured. Not anything like lava. Like a rush.
“What then? I do not know. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. I don’t know even if I can. What, Lord? What then? What do You have to say about this? What does the still, small voice say?”
And do you know what? He “spoke”. He cast vision afresh. He knows I’m afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again. I wasn’t afraid the first time, but sometimes the second time around makes our knees knock a bit. (At least mine.)
It takes more courage to do something twice.
We know more. We know the cost. We’re definitely counting it.
Without forgiveness, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. God helped me to forgive. He helped me to heal. And He’s helping me to rise up out of the ashes. There’s still some ash, but I see hibiscus rising up out of the ground. The colors are bright and their smell is sweet.
We’re back to where we started.
Life is full of moments, some of them defining. Choosing to forgive is one of them. I know forgiveness is complicated and getting to that place isn’t always easy. Forgiveness has its roots in love. Our lives are better for it. When we invest ourselves in the conscious choice to choose love, we win.
Let’s pick up our feet and step over the tangled root of unforgiveness. God’s got places He wants to take us to.
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1 Goff, Maria. Love Lives Here: Finding What You Need In A World Telling You What You Want. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2017.
2 Battistelli, Francesca. “It’s Your Life,” track #4 on My Paper Heart. Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group, CAPITOL CHRISTIAN MUSIC GROUP, 2008.
