Proverbs 31:25 Archives – Facets of Faith

Hey Thelma, Who’s Your Louise?

08.04.2020 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith and our discussion on friendship. While our summer looks a bit different than many of us planned, I pray you are finding ways to connect with the friends you love.

When we first discussed this topic, I envisioned a piece about the fun adventures I’d take with one of my girlfriends. I thought it might be an amazing assignment involving a road trip, laughter and a spirit of adventure. Then Covid created this odd, social standard where we stay physically distant from each other.

So I’m going on a celebratory adventure of some of the Louise’s God has brought into my life and how they’ve impacted it. I’ll take a rain check on the road trip, because that has to happen!

One of the Louise’s in my life loves Jesus, worship, motorcycles, and coffee chats full of authentic conversation. We share that. She also loves chickens, alpacas and goats. Those we don’t share, but that’s okay. Real friendship doesn’t mean we have to be identical; it means we see and appreciate our differences too. Friendship rooted in the gift of vulnerability says, “You are safe. I can share with you.” She’s that kind of friend.

She is a treasure to me, and truly a gift God sent when I needed friendship. God hand-selected her for me, and if you knew her, you’d know how truly blessed I am. Like Thelma and Louise, our friendship involved a road trip.

Great friendships take courage

Maybe you needed to read this piece just to take away this nugget:

Be brave enough to extend an invitation to someone you don’t know. You never know if she may become one of your best friends.

You see, I had radically shifted my lifestyle: from sinner to saint (who still sometimes sins). My old friends were confused by my new behaviors. I remember feeling lonely. God knew my heart, even if I didn’t express it to Him at the time.

He prompted me to invite someone I didn’t know to spend an entire weekend together at a women’s conference. I had an extra ticket and I wasn’t sure who was supposed to attend with me. After prayer, God placed her name on my heart. And I’m glad He did. Because, you see, He knew we had a lot in common and we needed to be friends.

It felt incredibly brave to me at the time, especially since I’m a bit of an introvert.

“Hey, I don’t know you very well, but how about if we drive 5 hours to St. Louis, spend the whole weekend together in the same hotel room, attend this women’s conference, and see how it goes?”

God will have you do some crazy stuff, my friends. Crazy! And terrifying! But sometimes those adventures might turn out to be incredibly terrific. This one did!

God is faithful. And He sets the lonely in friendships that feel like family.

Find your friendships that feel like family

God sets the lonely in families,

he leads out the prisoners with singing

Psalm 68:6a NIV

Friends that feel like family are the perfect Louise to your Thelma. If you don’t have them, I pray God brings them into the fold of your life. If you do, I pray He grows them to be even more blessed.

While I thought I’d be writing a free-spirited piece about adventure (something my adrenaline seeking spirit loves), my heart is also lamenting right now. I wished one of my Louise’s well as she moved 1,024 miles away.

When we are following God, sometimes He takes us down different paths which spread us out (but not apart). We’re still friends, spiritually linked forever because this Louise happens to be someone I am spiritually connected to in a special way.

Know this: you are worthy of friendship

I remember the first time I thought about being friends with a pastor’s wife. I thought to myself, “Um. Not worthy.” You see, I was a baby Christian still breaking free from my sin and shame, but this Louise saw something different in me. She saw who God was making me into, and she spoke precious words over me that I still treasure.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. ─Proverbs 31:25 NIV

I haven’t always felt strong in life, but I postured as though I was. That was my former defense mechanism. She prophesied words over me that now feel true (or at least a whole lot truer than they did about a decade ago).

I also had felt a lot of shame, but that’s not what she spoke over me. She spoke the word dignity over me and my life. And, amazingly, that is the spacious place God has brought me to. He used my precious friend to give those words to me as a gift.

It’s a good place to pause and remind us all to speak words of encouragement over one another. Let’s challenge ourselves to listen to the Holy Spirit’s prompting and be the words of love and encouragement our friends need to hear. Those words have the power to transform a person’s life.

I have done ministry with this woman. I have shared deeply and laughed SO HARD, because she is hilarious. Her hands dunked me in the baptismal and joyously celebrated new life in me as a child of God.

She too is a treasure. She’s on assignment by God and she and her family are following hard after Him, thus the reason she is now a resident of Colorado (effective last weekend). The one consolation I have in this is I now have the perfect excuse to visit one of my favorite places to see some of my favorite people!

Find friends who follow God & bless our faith

Having friendships that follow hard after the things of God for their lives is truly a great blessing. Their faith grows ours. I have realized the friendships I have treasured most are ones in which they commit to learn and grow more each day about who they are and what their contribution to the world will be. I so appreciate friends on the path to always learning and growing.

Maybe it’s because I don’t ever want to stop learning and growing myself. The woman I am at 50+ years is a much different version of the woman I was in my 20s, 30s and even 40s.

I’m still learning more and more about who I am, and much of that comes through fabulous friends who see and say things to help us realize our giftedness and calling.

And who we feel safe to share with when we fall flat, because we know they’ll dust us off and help us stand again.

When ones’ life has shifted so dramatically, so too has her friendships.

There are a few friendships I miss (I imagine that’s probably true for you too). Not every relationship is for a lifetime, but we can hope some are. I feel like we need to consult with God about that.

What friendships is God calling you to in this season?

God redeems and restores friendships

I’ve seen Him restore a friendship I thought was permanently severed. I remember being afraid to bump into this person at the store, because we’d had quite a traumatic end. But we serve a resurrection God, and He brought that person back into my life. He knew it was safe to do so – for her and for me. I felt peace about it and time demonstrated that feeling to be true. We were different women and we both realized where we’d went wrong. God had grown us, and then He resurrected what I would have once told you was permanently dead.

That person had played a pivotal role in my attending church. I wouldn’t have went had she not invited me. (That whole not worthy thing.) We had shared familial history and we understood one another’s story. We were brought together during tragic life circumstances that God used to grow us closer to Him and each other.

Be on guard of the enemy’s plans to unravel relationships

I’m sure the enemy didn’t want us helping each other learn how to stand, so he tore us apart. I really didn’t understand spiritual matters all that much back then. I was just learning about the things of God. I didn’t know how much I also needed to be on guard for the plans of the enemy. He loves to tear relationships apart, especially when they are trying to help one another seek after the things of God.

Maybe you need to read this piece for that nugget of truth. The enemy has plans to unravel godly friendships, but God tells us to be relationally on guard for that. God doesn’t want our friendships stolen from us; he wants those relationships to be part of the abundant life He died to give us.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.─John 10:10 NIV

There are a few friendships I grieve the loss over.

Grieve & pray about lost friendships

Sometimes, God has to rip you (or them) out of one environment for reasons seen and unseen. I miss my friend I called sister for nearly two decades. She knew things about me I didn’t tell ANYONE. She saw a lot of my sin. Don’t get me wrong, I still sin … but she saw the big stuff.

I don’t want to celebrate my former sin; it led to some pretty painful destinations. But I do celebrate her, and I hope one day God will bring us back together. We didn’t fight; we faded.

Celebrate your sister w/o celebrating your past sin

I think because she knew me and all of my sin, God had to separate us so He could work on separating me from my former sin. It’s my running theory. I’m not sure what He’s been doing in her life, but I’m sure He’s up to something amazing there too. I pray He is and I hold out hope for our friendship.

She is brilliant and funny.

We used to spend the whole week of the 4^th of July out on my boat with magazines splayed across the seats where all sorts of girl talk would ensue. She was my roommate at our national sales meetings, and I knew I could count on our bathroom vanity to be a hot mess with her things strewn all over.

She packed a separate suitcase just for her shoes. How can you not love a woman like that? If one of your favorite places is DSW, you know this friendship was a match made in heaven! Like Cinderella’s glass slipper, it just fit.

She could come over to my place no matter what it looked like, because real friends let their friends see their homes even when they’re a mess.

She knew my love of boots. When I stood up for her at her wedding, that was her gift to me — an amazing pair of grey suede boots that I still adore. Hey, you know you’re a good friend when you can pick out a pair of boots for the other one. It’s kind of like picking out another woman’s purse. You better know her taste!

This is a funny Thelma & Louise type story. It still makes me laugh. Boy, were we some crazy “kids”.

It was April and the thermostat read over 80 degrees. My Louise went to the city with me where we happened upon a cute boutique. I found the most amazing pair of sunglasses I had to have. It was the weather’s fault as I was feeling a bit more free- spirited, as so often happens when the temperature heats up prematurely after a winter thaw.

After my shiny new sunglass purchase, I proposed to my friend we test drive convertibles.

She said, “No way!” (Because she knew her Thelma friend wouldn’t just take the car for a test drive.) She didn’t want to get in trouble with my then-husband for playing a role in this adventure that would involve a major purchase.

Finally, I talked her into it. I saw an adorable silver 2-seater stick shift and I was in love. The car salesperson asked me if I knew how to drive stick shift, but it felt more like a statement than a question.

I wanted to say, “Child, please!” Instead I spoke with my driving skills. He may have had to hold on a little tight that day as I took the curves snug and sharp. (Still makes me laugh thinking about it.)

When I got back from my test drive, “Louise” saw that look on my face.

“I have to buy it. It matches my sunglasses perfectly.”

She shook her head and laughed, because she knew she’d be unable to talk me out of it.

We all need those friends with mutual history that can tell of our stupid stories, but love us too much to share them. This “Louise” holds many pages from my days of youth where you think you are invincible, until you realize you’re not.

I honestly think, in part, it was too hard for her to see my life unravel. And at the time, that’s exactly what was happening.

But I have learned sometimes God unravels a person’s life to weave it together in a far more beautiful fashion. He wants the tapestry to look like a masterpiece from all angles – forward and behind. I pray He does weave this sweet friend back into my life. I remember her saying something to the effect of she didn’t know what to talk about around me anymore.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.─Ephesians 2:10 NLT

This verse gives me hope, because God sets us where we are with whom we are for a reason. He planned our relationships long ago, and even as He creates us anew He is weaving together a beautiful masterpiece — our life.

Trust God is making a masterpiece of your life as He weaves beautiful friendships into it

If my Louise reads this (and I hope she does), I’d tell her to just be yourself. Real friends let you do that. I’d also say, “Yes, there are parts of me that are much different from whom I used to be. But there are parts of me that haven’t changed.”

I still love boots and you never know, maybe I’ll get another convertible one of these days. If I get the inclination, I know just who to call!

She’ll always be my Louise.

There are many friendships I celebrate and treasure, but for whatever reason, these are the ones I felt led to highlight. I trust someone needed to read these vignettes about friendship to help them find (or find again) their own.

I pray every person reading this is blessed with the Louise to your Thelma, those treasured friendships that help us feel seen and loved. I pray God highlights the area He wants you to focus on regarding your friendships.

Which of these stands out to you? What is God speaking to you through the headline?

Great friendships take courage
Find your friendships that feel like family
Know this: you are worthy of friendship
Find friends who follow God & bless our faith
God redeems and restores friendships
Be on guard of the enemy’s plans to unravel relationships
Grieve & pray about lost friendships
Celebrate your sister w/o celebrating your past sin
Trust God is making a masterpiece of your life as He weaves beautiful friendships into it

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Woman.of.God

05.28.2019 by Mackenzie Carter //

Welcome to FACETS and spring (for real)! I (Tracy) can’t wait to introduce you to Mackenzie Carter as she shares her writing and communication gift with us. Truth be told, as I read her piece ahead of time, it moved me. A lot! I pray God touches your heart through it at least as much as He moved mine. Rhema. A good word, fresh and in season for all God’s girls.

I wish I could say that I am an expert on this subject, that I have steadily walked this out with beautiful grace and dignity, but that would not be true.

I stumble and fall – quite literally

all. the. time.

I have allowed myself to be tossed about with emotions and questions throughout the last twenty-two years of following Christ. I have struggled with shame. I often feel I am not deep enough, a bit quirky, and maybe a little too loud and excited for most. Questions often fill my mind – Am I ok? Do I belong? Who am I?

What would I want preached to myself during all those times that I question or stumble?

Fellow women of God, maybe you need to hear this too.

Quit trying to earn everyone’s love.

Jesus loves you. The King of the Universe. Live your life falling more and more in love with Him.

Though sometimes it may feel this way, God is not mad at you. He doesn’t pace back and forth in heaven frustrated as He thinks about you. He is not the voice of the critic in your head. It is quite the contrary. When God thinks about you and I, a smile warms His face. A love that can never be squandered fills His heart for you. His thoughts about you are kind. His plans for you are good.

When Jesus died on the cross – you were on His mind. His blood covers you. He breaks strongholds. Fear and shame flee at the sound of His Name. You have been made into a new creation. There has never been a day that He has left you alone. He delights in YOU and I. He is proud of you. He will be faithful through all your years. In the midst of insecurity and doubt, you are held, known, seen, and loved.

Anchor yourself in the Word of God. It is your steady in a world of turbulence.

Being a woman of God inherently means knowing Whose you belong to and Who defines you. Honestly, it is way too easy to look around, desperately trying to find affirmation from likes and hearts on social media, peers, what group we belong to, or our titles. You are a woman of God – OF GOD – not of the world, not of Insta or Facebook. Our worth – the meaning of our lives can only come from one place if we are to be truly satisfied. That place is Jesus. The faithful One. The One who invites us to follow Him and find our identity in Him.

My friend, we were meant to live an abundant life of abiding in Jesus. That is where true joy and satisfaction are found. We are daughters of the King. We are women of the Word – the unchanging, never wavering Word of God. Culture shifts, the trends change, but the Word of God remains the same. It is this – the Word of God that defines who we are as a women of God.

Take hold of the Word – read it, believe it, and live it out.

Follow the ancient paths.

Remember the ones who have gone before who lived solely for Jesus – the Elizabeth Elliot’s, the Mother Theresa’s, and the Amy Carmichael’s. Remember the mentors who simply showed you Jesus. This world is trying so hard to suck you into the vortex of comparison and self-focus. Don’t you give in. You were meant to live a counter-cultural life.

Therefore, I urge you, sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Romans 12:1-2

Live a life worthy of the One who called you. Live every moment as a continual act of worship unto God. Be the one to go against the grain. Don’t worry so much about being “on trend”. Trends are here today and gone tomorrow. Become the woman you would want to sit across the table from in twenty years. Faithful, shining with beauty from within, holy, full of grace and mercy, kindness on your lips, wise from the Word of God being hidden in your heart, and closer to Jesus than ever.

Run together with other women.

You are not alone as you walk this road. I know this can be so hard sometimes. I know you have been hurt and betrayed. I know it feels like sometimes going it alone would be easier.

My friend, you were never meant to be an island. It sure can feel like it though, can’t it? All of us trying so hard to accomplish it all, achieve it all, look and feel the best doing all the things.

We were meant to run together. We were meant to encourage each other in the hardships, to be honest and open with one another, and to cheer wildly as we see our fellow sisters move forward. Y’all, this life is not easy, so lend a hand. We are not in competition! We were made to celebrate one another.

“If we don’t open up, we will miss out on other women’s wisdom and perspective. We might even walk around with a bunch of burdens we shouldn’t be trying to carry alone.” ~ Sophie Hudson, Giddy Up, Eunice

Always trying to get ahead may be stifling your progress.

Bloom where you are planted.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

I know it is easy to want to look ahead and see what is coming. Maybe it seems impossible to know how it is all going to work out. Perhaps you are wondering if you missed it? Maybe you thought you would be somewhere completely different by now.

Be still.

Wait.

Don’t rush over the present – the very gift Jesus gave you today.

You have everything you need for today.

The truth is, God holds what is yours. You are on your way, sister! God has an appointed time for everything. Stay in it, friend.

Run the race that is all your own.

Follow Jesus. Obey His lead. Allow His sanctification process to take place. His timing is perfect and His way is right. He is faithfully leading you.

God is using everything for your good.

There is miraculous joy to be found in the journey, in the process – right here and now. Look around and really see all that surrounds you. Live to the full right now.

Trust Him with it.

Woman of God, you have been called to live out the purpose set before you.

Build your house

“A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands!” Proverbs 14:1

Every time I come across this verse, it stops me in my tracks. I start pondering how am I building up my house-with words and attitude. How I am spending my time? What I am pouring into my children? How I am praying for my family? How am I loving my husband? Am I making it count?

In Finding Your Purpose as a Mom by Donna Otto, she says that our homes are holy ground. Just like Moses took off his shoes at the burning bush, we are to take off our shoes as we come into our homes because of the great work God is doing in our midst.

I want to be a part of it. I don’t want to miss it.

If you are married, rock your marriage. You are the only one who can be your husband’s wife. Love him, encourage him, allow God to show you the joy and beauty of submission, be his teammate, and have fun!

If you have children, you are the only one who can be their momma. Take the time and trouble to shepherd them, train them up, listen well, spend time with them, enjoy them at every stage. You are raising the next generation of warriors for Christ. Teach them about Jesus. This is the most important calling of your life.

Woman of God

You are here on purpose for such a time as this. You have been called to pick up your cross daily and follow Him. We are called to seek first the Kingdom of God. Though this life is not about us, we get to take part in an incredible story – a beautiful tapestry of God’s faithfulness. This life is for God’s glory.

Live for God. Obey Him. Trust Him. Love ferociously. Bring the Kingdom of God in your sphere of influence.

… Wasn’t that great? So many nuggets to ponder!

Add your voice to the conversation at FACETS of Faith’s Facebook page or sign up to receive our weekly blog post and comment to share what God is doing in your life as it relates to each topic.

Want to know more about Swordgirl Conference? Click Mackenzie’s bio link above to be directed to the Swordgirl conference web site.

The Gifts of Joy and Humor in Life

08.08.2017 by Jennifer Howe //

Hi, friend! You came to visit, and I’m so glad you did! This month the FACETS are sharing about God’s sense of humor and joy, so August is peppered with chuckles. Tracy shared last week, and you’ll want to get your eyeballs on that one! You won’t want to miss Kim’s contribution next week. Then one of my dearest friends will share a guest post. You definitely need to read Jenna’s post the fourth week. Please hop into the flow and share your funnies, too!

The platypus. If someone wants to know how I (Jennifer) am absolutely sure God has a sense of humor, I could point to the most distinct critter on the planet. An egg-laying mammal is unusual. This toothless creature has no stomach; he has a gullet like a bird and relies on gravel to eat and digest food. He has a duck bill that can detect electrical fields—that’s a superpower. Retractable webbing allows him to change from web-footed water critter to sharp-clawed land rambler like a Transformer®️. And the best part? Mr. Platypus (and only the mister) is—wait for it!—venomous! God’s creativity incorporating unique characteristics from every part of His mind definitely reveals something of His sense of humor. There’s so much joy for me in platypi.

But God doesn’t stop His fantastic originality with critters. Do you know someone who shows off God’s seed of humor in their lives? I have been big-time blessed with two sons, and that (as some boy moms will agree) is fodder for all kinds of laughs. Though, I admit my laughs often had some delay—minutes, days, or decades. *Grin* Take this example: a few weeks ago my brother-in-law shared snippets of the video from his wedding about ten years ago. One clip was PRICELESS!

Imagine: A roaming videographer is capturing best wishes for the newlyweds. This is so perfect and sweet. The video will be the best reminder of all the friends and family on a very special day. What a precious way to walk Memory Lane together after decades of life together.

Fast forward to the part we saw…

My husband’s happy face stared right into the lens and shared nearly two minutes of encouraging words. I was interested in hearing what he had to say, since I hadn’t heard it the first time around. And then…

The “Hambone.” My preschool-aged son’s face appeared in the lower right corner of the screen behind his daddy. First one side, then the other, and back to the first side, making faces the whole time. (We all laughed at the boy playing for the camera while the very happy, encouraging daddy had no idea.) It was one of those adorable moments captured for all time, and it was hilarious!

Eventually, the adorable boy with neatly spiked hair in a tux lost interest in the camera and moved on. Tony kept encouraging the newlywed couple, but I drifted from the words. I noticed, behind him several feet away, I was having a conversation with a cousin. The conversation paused—

The boy had found an open area on the carpet in the lobby and shifted to his favorite activity: breakdancing. In the middle of the lobby. (Have I mentioned he was wearing a rented tux?) Honestly, he had some impressive moves for a preschooler, including spins. Conversations continued around him—except his mom’s.

I had trouble focusing on his dance moves in the video because the next thing I saw was my ASL non-verbal communication kick in. (I had to laugh.) To my husband’s left on the screen is a spinning dance move. Over my husband’s right shoulder is me, signaling what most people know as “SAFE!” in baseball. Back then, I just hoped my son could remember it meant “Don’t!” I probably I hoped the accompanying look filled in any gaps.

Now all of us were laughing at the video, and I was laughing so hard the tears were flowing!

Friend, I can’t tell you how perfectly-timed my brother-in-law’s video was. Sometimes life can be tiring and just too serious, can’t it? Sometimes we desperately need to laugh, and it’s hard to know where it will come from. Maybe it’s the joy in the platypus. It could be in watching someone enjoy life to the full (breakdancing in a tux and all!). Maybe you begin to laugh at yourself. I know this: we really need to laugh! I’m glad sometimes we have the gift of laughter when we need it.

If you’re a mom of littles, you might enjoy laughs several times a day (little people are funny, after all). But maybe that’s not your life—the littles, the laughs, or the frequency of them. If I could do one thing differently, I think I would search harder for the humor in the everyday. The spray-starched sheltie’s 90-minute bath would have been fun. The two-year-old on the refrigerator would have been funny. The ridiculous tendency to get lost would be hilarious. Stress’ kryptonite is laughter, I think.

When life is challenging and you’re feeling pressed by the stuff of life, it’s time to laugh. Who do you know that can bring you back to your giggles, chuckles, and all-out belly laughs? That’s a good place to start.

God’s gift of humor and joy is precious during the hard times. Where we ultimately want to get to is the place of joy—the upbeat, peacefulness blanketing us when we stand in the messy kitchen or the eye of the hurricane. Can you find humor in some of it? Can you find your joy even if the humor hasn’t arrived yet?

Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. Proverbs 31:25 CSB

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice, let them forever shout for joy! Shelter them; and they will be glad, those who love your name. Psalm 5:11 CJB

How have you seen God’s gift of humor or joy in your life? Take time to thank the friend who gifted it to you when you needed it. Be sure to gift it to others when you can.

Thanks for reading, friend! Would you gift me and the readers with your humor or joy today? Share below or at the Facebook Page.