Proverbs 3:5-6 Archives – Facets of Faith

Our team is excited to introduce you to our friend, Maricela. Once we experienced her friendship and her beautiful heart—well, you’ll understand why we love her so much! She’s a wife, mom, and deeply-caring friend who shows up for ladies in her church’s coffee house ministry. She loves her ladies well, and they love her back. We were thrilled she accepted our invitation to write on expecting the unexpected (the series began with Tracy’s, Jennifer’s, and Megan’s posts). I (Jennifer) have been anticipating this post since the invitation. And now, here it is!

Please welcome Mari to Facets, friends, and leave comments below or at the Facebook Page!

Hello, ladies!

When I was invited to write for Facets of Faith I was honored, excited, and very nervous. I’m not a writer. I do a few scribbles here and there in my journal but not anything I’ve ever shared. I decided early in the year that I would say yes to any opportunity that God gave me to share how He has worked in my life. It may bring hope to others. I’m excited to share how my feelings on expecting the unexpected went from fear to anticipation. When I used to think of the unexpected, I always expected the worst, but our God is a good, faithful Father, and He uses the unexpected for our good.

Christmas 2005 was a sad and dark one for me. It was the end of a 10-year relationship I expected to last forever. I don’t believe I have ever fought so hard at anything. The kind of fighting that leaves one drained, empty, and defeated. I didn’t believe in divorce. I couldn’t stand the thought of my son having to go between two homes. I prayed for a loving husband and a loving father for my son, but there I was, a divorced single mother. I felt like a failure and slipped into a severe depression. I was disappointed with God for not answering my prayers the way I expected Him to. I wondered why I wasn’t loved enough by God to let me keep my family together. Why did everything fall apart for me? I tortured myself with questions. Did I not pray enough? Did I not pray the right prayers? Scripture says that if I have enough faith, I could move mountains. Did I not have enough faith?

From a very young age I believed in God. I believed Him to be all mighty and powerful. I knew about His son, Jesus, who died for me, but I was not in relationship with Him. I prayed only to make requests and to give thanks for the good things. Feeling hurt, defeated, and unworthy of God, I turned to other things to fill the void I was carrying. That didn’t turn out well for me.

Without going into deep details, my life just kept spiraling out of control. I had become a victim of my situation. I blamed my bad choices on my life situation. I had an excuse for everything. I had become bitter and full of sarcasm. I went through my days expecting the worst.

It took some time, but slowly I started to feel better and started to seek God again. God healed my wounds. He revealed to me that my identity was not in that broken relationship but in HIM as HIS beloved daughter. He allowed me to revisit my past without the bitterness and anger; thus allowing me to see that He was always present. Although I couldn’t see it back then, He provided me with wonderful friendships, a loving family, and a son that would be my strength and reason to move forward.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

There are times in our life when we can’t understand why things fall apart for us. The unexpected can leave us heartbroken, but the Lord asks us to trust Him in everything, to acknowledge Him always, and to refrain from trying to make sense out of situations. His ways are greater than ours. He will restore our peace and joy in ways that only He can do. Our Father will always replace what we lost with something greater than we ever expected, when we seek Him first.

In 2008 I met Jose on an online dating site. I didn’t expect I would marry him the following year. He became that loving and caring father I had been praying for my son, Tony. In 2011 we were blessed with another son, Gabriel. I wish I could say that Jose and I fell in love, got married, and everything has been great ever since, but that isn’t our story. Jose and I went through a very difficult season in our marriage. Almost defeated and tired of fighting, I surrendered my marriage to God. Instead of fighting, I prayed. Oh, did HE answer my prayers in unexpected ways!

In the spring of 2014, Jose met Jesus and fell in love. I was no longer on this faith journey alone; God provided a companion for me, my husband. We promised each other that we would work on putting Christ at the center of our marriage. We began to seek God’s direction for our family. We got baptized together in March of 2019. It was such a special day for us. In June we celebrated 10 years of marriage. The relationship that I expected to die was given life by Jesus.

Today life is far from perfect, but I know my Father has led me exactly to where I’m supposed to be. I no longer fear the unexpected because I look for God’s sweet blessings in it.

Faith. I don’t know where I (Kim) would be if it weren’t for my faith. Perhaps breath would no longer fill my lungs nor might my life be defined by hope. I certainly would have missed the story of redemption woven throughout the broken threads of my life. Broken threads I never thought would be made whole again, let alone woven into something so breathtakingly intricate and beautiful.

And all it took was twelve minutes. Twelve minutes plus a lifetime.

I remember the day I pulled into my driveway and stared in shock at the sight before me.

Smoke. Pouring from my home.

I’d just returned to retrieve something I needed for work. I was only gone twelve minutes.

Twelve minutes that forever changed my life. Twelve minutes that altered the course of my life, my heart, and my faith.

And somewhere within those twelve minutes, my greatest fear became my most tragic reality as my youngest daughter took her last breath.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11, NLT

I grew up knowing Jesus. I made a decision to follow Jesus when I was eight. I began teaching Sunday School when I was fourteen, and by the time I was twenty-eight I was on staff at a church leading children’s ministry. Faith was not only a way of life, it was my life.

When I was eight, my mom and dad gave me my first Bible. As I entered high school, I graduated from the little kids bible to one specifically designed for students. Written in my mom’s beautifully scripted hand on the inside cover was a verse that guides my life.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

Trust was crucial for me growing up. I knew I could trust my parents; they were always with me. I knew I could trust God; the Bible told me so. Maybe it was the number of moves we’d done by the time I was eight, or perhaps it was the fear that seemed to follow me everywhere I went, but somehow fear grew bigger than my ability to trust.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of failure.

Fear of loss.

I’m not exactly sure where the fear first grabbed hold but I often felt its tentacles wrap around my soul, squeezing out any sense of calm, of peace, of comfort.

My biggest fear was death. I remember standing next to my parents’ bed in the middle of the night as a young child, sobbing in fear as remnants of a nightmare slowly trickled away. A nightmare where one of my parents died and left me behind.

As years passed and I became a mom, my fear shifted from losing my parents to that of losing a child. Deep fear. Real fear. Fear that sometimes faded as I learned to trust in the One who is bigger, stronger, and more powerful but sometimes reared its ugly head.

That beautifully scripted verse often came to mind. I thought if I trusted God enough, he would make my path straight. He would keep my family safe and my life free from death and loss.

Right?

Then came that fateful day with those twelve minutes. Twelve minutes where death stormed into my life and snatched away my precious Emma. My greatest fear now became my reality.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1, NIV

Perhaps as you’re reading your own fears are bubbling to the surface. Perhaps it’s not losing a child but losing a spouse, or feeling like you’re not enough and one day you fear someone might agree with you. Perhaps you, too, have stared death in the face through the eyes of your mom or a sibling and you silently scream, “me, too!”

Lean in here, precious one. Lean in close as I whisper this to you . . .

Faith is not about believing God enough so bad things don’t happen. Faith is believing that when those bad things happen, God is enough. He does not change. His love does not end. Neither will His grace or mercy or compassion (Ephesians 3:17-19).

Faith is believing that what Scripture says about God’s character is true, that His ways are higher than we can imagine (Isaiah 55:9), and He will do immeasurably more than we might every imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Good things. Eternity-changing things.

Faith is saying yes to God’s plan even though your heart breaks and life hurts because you believe He is working all things for good (Romans 8:28). Somehow. Someway. Faith is believing nothing separates us from God, from His love or grace or protection (Romans 8:38-39).

That’s what twelve minutes taught me about faith, faith that draws me close to my loving Father no matter what may come my way. Twelve minutes plus a lifetime of faith.

Expecting the Unexpected: from fear to anticipation

Twelve Minutes to Faith