Psalm 139 Archives – Facets of Faith

Is 2020 Feeling Blurry?

01.21.2020 by Megan Abbott //

Hi Friends! Welcome back to Facets of Faith this fine Tuesday. I hope amidst all the anticipation of the new year and new decade, you are finding joy in each and every new day. This month we are sharing how we see 2020. How do you see 2020? Take a minute to jump back a couple weeks to Tracy’s post on finding joy, here, and check out Jen’s thoughts from last week on planning for 2020, here. I pray that as we take on a new year here at FACETS, God will be moving in this community, and encouraging each of us.

Last year I had a word of the year—rest. It started as finding time to slow down and sit with the Lord without an agenda, transformed into learning about the sabbath, and eventually was something that gave me space for healing I really needed. When it was first revealed, though, I was honestly a bit frustrated. I didn’t know where it would lead. It was as if the mental movie of my future felt out of focus because the word could either lead a million places, or nowhere. How did God want me to act on “rest”?

Have you ever been there? Where you prayed for what God had in store for you in the season, and the answer was just blurry enough you were left wondering, “What in the world, God? Where are we going?” If I’m honest, I’m right there again this year. I have been in a season of rest that feels like it prepared me for a whirlwind season. I haven’t quite settled on one word, but I feel full of anticipation for the new adventures ahead in this year. Do you know what isn’t so good, though, for jumping feet first into a new adventure?

A walking cast.

How does this make sense? They aren’t exactly made for jumping, or running, and I’m not even entirely convinced they are made for walking! Definitely not for speed or excitement. When I was considering new adventures in the new year, this wasn’t quite what I meant. But here I am taking one wobbly step forward at the speed of a sloth.

SO WHERE ARE WE GOING GOD?

When I’m really confused and don’t quite know how to pray, I usually end up in the Psalms. I know this is maybe a bit more literal than it should actually be taken, but I prayed Psalm 119:105 over and over again as I was trying to figure out where God was leading me.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105 (ESV)

Praying that I would find clarity in His word for what I should be learning about “rest.” I have been thinking back on it, and the same image keeps coming to mind: trying to find my destination in complete darkness.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND

Several years ago I spent a few years living in a small village in rural southern Belize. There were 254 people, we spoke Q’eqchi, the village was surrounded by rainforest and plantations, and there was no electricity for miles. When the moon was full, or close to full, you could walk around without a flashlight in areas you were familiar with and be alright, but during that new moon time, it was dark. Can’t see the next step in front of you dark. The stars were amazingly beautiful, but flashlights were a requirement for life.

A few things you should know to fully appreciate where we are going:

My bathroom was a latrine about 100ft from my house, and my water spigot where I could wash my hands or dishes was about 50 feet away in a little shed that also housed a tarantula I named Charlotte and often a giant k’oopopo’ (toad);
The shop in my village didn’t sell batteries so if I forgot them on my weekly trip to the market town, I was out of luck;
Batteries die much faster when it is over 100 degrees everyday, and
I didn’t often plan ahead.

UTTER DARKNESS

So I vividly remember what it was like the first time my flashlight died and I tried to walk to the bathroom without it. I also remember the first time I tried to walk down the path using a candle for light. Flashlights light up the whole path in front of you. You can see clearly what you are approaching, and easily find your way. Candles, not so much; they glow in your face. You can see your next step, but not much of anything further than that. I knew exactly where my water spigot was in relationship to my house, but I had no idea where Charlotte would be. When I had a candle, it was one step at a time, and a lot of praying away the tarantulas.

FOLLOW THE LIGHT

I think walking with God bounces back and forth between taking the path with a candle, and taking the path with a flashlight. There have been times where I have peace about decisions, a vision for where I am going, and am confident about the path to get there. There are other times that it is literally minute-by-minute. Either way, God is revealing the path as we go, just sometimes He is using a flashlight, and sometimes He seems to be using a candle. I often want the full moon version where I can see everything clearly.

BY MY VISION

Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.” Psalm 139:12 (ESV)

As someone who likes to understand everything, and really know what the plan is, I struggle with only having a candle light the next step. It isn’t comfortable. It is hard. It requires a lot of trust. I have read and prayed through Psalm 139 almost daily for the last week. It reminds me that God knows me, He surrounds me, He protects me, and He is going wherever I go. How comforting are these words:

Even then You will be there to guide me; Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there. Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me, the light around me will soon be turned to night,” You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes. For You the night is just as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes.” Psalm 139:10-12 (Voice)

I have to trust the One who sees everything to guide me. The One who, whether it is dark or light, sees where I am going, and surrounds me. It is less about seeing clearly where I am going, and more about trusting the One who is guiding me.

REJOICE IN THE PROTECTION

I wonder sometimes what I didn’t see when I was walking to the latrine, or the water spigot, or to my neighbor’s house down the road after dark. Even with the flashlight I only saw what was lit by the flashlight or candle. I saw what I needed to see in that moment. Sometimes I wonder what all I didn’t see. Men went spear fishing in the river and hunting in the bush in the middle of the night. For a period of time, there was a jaguar that was coming into the village and stealing chickens and pigs from my neighbors pens. Can you imagine if I had seen it all? Every tarantula, person, snake, rat, jaguar... everything that could possibly have crossed my path? Ugh, I never would have stepped out of my house.

STEP BY STEP WE MOVE FORWARD

So let’s back up to the word for the year. I’m not sure what yours is, but mine is something related to anticipation (which is actually kind of funny considering it implies some sort of unknown is involved, I think I just found my word). What if God revealed today everything we were going to experience or learn throughout the year related to our words in one moment? Would it feel kind of like stepping out of my house in the village if every creature was illuminated?

I am going to pray we can rejoice in taking today’s steps today, and patiently trust God to reveal tomorrow’s steps tomorrow. Even if they are wobbly and taken at the pace of a sloth.

Thanks for stopping by today. Let us know what word you are walking towards in a comment below, or at the FACETS Facebook Page. We’d love to hear from you!

God Responds to His Children—Perfectly

10.18.2019 by Jennifer Howe //

Hello, friend. I’m thankful you’ve dropped in for a visit. You’re always welcome here, and our team always hopes this space becomes one of your favorite places to think deeply and share generously to the community that has built here over the years. If you’re new, Tracy shared thoughts on the question this month here. Be sure to check in next week for thoughts from our guest, Ever Moore. We know you’ll love meeting her! This week, I’m thinking about how God responds perfectly.

How does God respond to me?

That’s the kind of question I (Jennifer) can turn over in my mind for quite awhile. I often turn toward Him during a quiet, reflective pause in my day; the times I need patience or help; and the desperate, ugly-cry moments. I know how he responds then—He responds in love.

What about when my heart and mind are distracted by innumerable things? How does God respond when I haven’t paused, reflected, or connected? What then? If I were Him—but I am not Him. Running the character of God through my own human, flawed filter has serious problems and repercussions. The mighty, eternal God of truth reveals His nature and character without a doubt. The Bible is clear:

The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103:8 CSB

How does the merciful, gracious, patient, loving God respond to me, you, any of us? How can we be sure He will? When I need to know the heart and mind of my heavenly Father, I search the pages of scripture. You, too?

He knows.

The Lord’s response to me is perfect. That’s all there is. (Okay, we can pack it in since there’s nothing left to say, right? I’m kidding.) His response is perfect because He knows every detail of His creation. His response to me is out of deep love, and it’s in keeping with His character and everything He knows about me.

O LORD, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me. Psalm 139:1 NLT

I’m thankful God is not fickle or passive-aggressive. He is present in a deeply personal way! My thoughts, words, actions—He knows it all before I begin. Why is that important? Because the best response to a person takes everything about them into account.

A special friend knows me well. She is able to pick out a gift that is perfect for me, and I’m both thankful and amazed. My husband has over 20 years of life with me, so he has the opportunity to know so much more about me. How much more intimate knowledge does my Creator hold? When He gives a gift out of His boundless love, there are no words.

He cherishes.

My God knows and cares for me. Because He does, I know He’s thinking about me.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand! Psalm 139:17-18a

When I began dating my future husband all those years ago, it was obvious I was thinking about him all the time. Sometimes a little gift would be left on a car at work. Phone calls were made every night at the same time. He was on my mind even in the busy times (mostly because I couldn’t wait to shag free from the busy to spend time with him).

When you intimately know, care for, and think fondly and highly of someone, you cherish them. Friend, our God cherishes us.

He loves.

Jesus is the embodiment of love. He offers His love completely, without hesitation, and sacrificially. Hundreds of years before the Christ walked on the earth, King David prophesied our need for salvation would be met in Jesus; the Lord provides for those who revere Him.

Surely his salvation is near to those who fear him,
that glory may dwell in our land.
Steadfast love and faithfulness meet;
righteousness and peace kiss each other. Psalm 85:9-10

In Christ, the child of God receives genuine righteousness, His! Unchanging and faithful love has been gifted to us in Jesus. Peace with God and peace within our soul. We have restored relationship with our heavenly Father in Jesus, and we have the Holy Spirit in us. God’s love grants us right standing, “rightness,” with God, and that yields the wholeness we were made for!

He stays.

The next verse is precious to me. When I think I’ve “lost” my connection (usually due to choosing busyness and allowing too much noise in my life), I’m reminded that He is never misplaced. He is always present. He is with me all the time.

I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence! Psalm 139:7

I’m married, and I know the permanence of the relationship these 22 years. On any given day or night, I know where my husband is, but occasionally he travels or I do. When we are separated by distance, we will still honor the vows that marked the beginning of our married life. Why? Because we are committed to being with each other.

God’s commitment to me looks the same and different. The permanence is the same but more intimate and heightened; nothing changes my relationship to Him. Paul wrote,

I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8:38

Nothing? Life, death, spiritual beings, fears, worries, the powers of hell—even my foolish busyness? Nothing. He is committed to me to the end and for all eternity. That’s genuine permanence right there!

He hears.

His ear attunes to me, my heart, all of my life. Every breath, every word, every heartbeat—my heavenly Father’s ear is so keen, He catches it all. The Spirit intimately connects—hearing, inspiring, and often amplifing the cries of my heart.

He grants the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cries for help and rescues them. Psalm 145:19

It’s not like having a programmed smart device in our home listening for the next question or command. It’s closer to a very important skill that may be diminishing in our culture: actively listening. When you love and care for someone, you listen very carefully and respond with their best interest in mind. If my husband were to use his words to ask for help, I’d hear his voice and heart in that ask; and then I would want to give my best yes because I love him.

With God, I make many requests. What I know is, “he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him” (1 John 5:14).

God responds perfectly!

It never enters my God’s all-knowing, deeply-loving mind to turn a cold shoulder to the child He loves. Sometimes I miss out on pausing, reflecting, and connecting, and that breaks His tender heart. And it has consequences for me in my life, consequences He would never want any of His children to experience.

It’s all true up there. He loves me (us!) and wants the very best for His child. Out of that love, He will wait for me to come to Him and spend time with Him.

Because I love God—I won’t want to make Him wait.

Is there any particular way you experience God responding to you? I’m curious! Share below or at the Facebook Page.

“I Give Up. Who Am I?”

07.11.2017 by Jennifer Howe //

Hello, friend! I’m glad you paused for this month’s topic at FACETS because it’s a good one! Tracy’s post last week was heart-felt and full of truth. Kim will bring her beautiful heart to the screen next week. Then we look forward to a guest we think you should know the fourth week. Take a peek on Tuesdays to find out what’s happening at Facets. We think amazing conversations can begin surrounding the topics and posts.

What’s your secret? I (Jennifer) suffer from bouts with amnesia. When I sat down to write I wondered if I’d find myself in good company. Maybe I will. The truth is, sometimes I have no idea who I am. More importantly, I forget whose I am. Let me explain.

For those who believe God, you know there was a point in time when everything changed. That was true for me the summer of ’94. I had survived so many challenging relationships, experiences, and choices by then. That summer, I made the only choice that will ever matter, I think. I decided to believe God. Sure, I could have tried to do all the right things to impress Almighty God, Holy God—but that couldn’t work. I would still be the court jester performing for the King in His presence, and it wouldn’t do a thing to address the real problem. Outside of believing God, I can do nothing to improve my condition: I’m imperfect in the presence of holiness, offending holy God by trying to be good enough to earn His love. What does that mean? When my imperfection meets Holy God, He has resolved everything in Jesus.

It’s new life and new beginnings in that moment, right? Yes!

A-n-n-n-nd then I forget who I am and whose I am. The past creeps into a moment and blackens it. Memories of whatever I thought changed my life forever in a bad way slither onto the stage of my mind and begin the ugly dance I’ve seen before. I think I even know the choreography by now. The amnesia tries to strip me of my whole identity. Oh, it’s never all at once. Usually, it’s bit by bit, little things I might not even notice at first—the slip of an unkind word or thought, replacing the truth with something slightly warped or “more interesting” than reality. You get the picture. Maybe you even have the dance in your own head choreographed. It tends to look something less of the people of God and more like people who have no regard for Him.

But we are called to something else!

2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 NLT

In my best moments, this is what I want—to believe God and live in a way that honors Him. Then the amazing adventure follows: His good plan for my life. And so, I begin by believing that He has a good plan…and that He wants me to think clearly about who He is, who I am, and the good life He has planned.

But, the cause of the amnesia is often from a single root. When I forget, I’m missing who He is and my identity that is a gift from Him through Jesus. The great thing is, when I can’t remember, powerful words will serve to correct my thought patterns and create the right kind of memory! (Thank you for the Bible, God!)

King David puts it beautifully in Psalm 139, CSB:

1 Lord, You have searched me and known me. 2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away. 3 You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, Lord. 5 You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me. 6 [This] extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to [reach] it.

Is there any moment in time when my God, my Abba, my Daddy, isn’t aware of me, my world, and even my internal life? No, my God knows everything about me, and He’s mindful of me!

7 Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there. 9 If I live at the eastern horizon [or] settle at the western limits, 10 even there Your hand will lead me; Your right hand will hold on to me.

Can I mistakenly find myself out of His sight? Will I be misled? No, He is always with me, ready to lead me in the right direction. And the best part? He holds me close. He loves me; I’m never alone and He leads me if I’m willing (if I’ll surrender to His will).

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will become night”— 12 even the darkness is not dark to You. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to You.

But those dark times—is He aware, and does He care? I must remember: yes, He knows. More than that, He is with me in them, and there are times He will bring light to the darkness, the kind that overwhelms the dark entirely. I also know there are times I may not see brilliant light for a while, and then I’ll have enough light for the step I’m taking (Psalm 119:105). Some things I can’t change, but I know the light and the darkness are under His power.

13 For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I will praise You, because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know [this] very well. 15 My bones were not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all [my] days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.

Verses 13-16 can be the first step in the amnesia dance in my head. (Is it similar in your head?) I quickly forget the amazing thing that happens when God creates life. Sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty or even to love the life I have. The struggle is real when I think about whatever seems “off” from others’ “normal.” Is it “wonderful” when _______ is part of everyday life? (Fill in the blank with thousands of options!) You and I were made with purpose and for a purpose. God had a plan from the beginning, and there is no Plan B. Plan A is redemption of all things (the good, the bad, the ugly in everything), and His plan is to use people (very often) to bring things to right in this world. (Here’s a random thought: think about how many people work for God and have no idea they do. Atheist doctors may resist that thought. *grin*)

17 God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me [to comprehend]; how vast their sum is! 18 If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with You.

With all that I know about my God, there is so much I can never grasp! What I really want to begin to understand is that li’l, old me is so precious to Him that He thinks of me all the time. Imagine that! And He thinks of all of us in this way and so frequently. I don’t steal a single thought moment from you, friend, and you don’t steal from me. We are equally precious!

23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.

Here’s the deep root of the surrender part! I have to ask myself questions, and the answers are telling. Do I believe God, that He is good, gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, loving, and always thinking of me? Do I believe He has my best interest in mind with every single detail of my life—the things He allows and the things He doesn’t, the things He changes or stops…and the things He doesn’t? Because, if I believe God (in the true character and identity!), then I want Him to speak to me about my words, thoughts, actions, and plans for each day. And I really don’t want to offend Him.

That means I will learn the heart and mind of my God. I will study who He is, and ask Him to help me live in a way that reveals more obviously whose I am. That’s fighting the amnesia with truth and reality, and that makes me less drawn into the dance each time.

Am I perfect? Somehow more perfect than I was the summer of ’94?

Yes…and no.

I am a child of the King. I was redeemed (simultaneously bought with a price and made right in the sight of Holy God) on that day. So yes, I am so different now. I know exactly how the plan ends, but only because I believe God, honestly.

And I live a real life in this world. Ask anyone, and they will tell you I have some “skillz” (with a Z). I have beautiful friends and family who have seen me eat a lot of things: humble pie, crow, and my own feet (both of them!). My love of words can be the very thing that ruins me some days. I also have to learn to love well because that’s really hard for me for lots of reasons. And as I said, the past chases me and tries to figure out how to command center stage in my mind.

But this is about surrender and the pursuit of it. The truth is, we live in the already and not yet of all of this.

When any one of us dives deep into the truth of what God has to say—and when we believe God is who He says He is and does what He says He will do…

That’s when He brings life and liberty in the pursuit of surrender, baby! We are more alive than ever, and we live in freedom that comes with that belief and knowledge.

All that said, if you’re living in the “real world” with difficult struggles and challenges in the pursuit of surrender, I want to share the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Neibuhr. I hope it speaks to you, too. We are all in the process of pursuit.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;  courage to change the things I can;  and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;  Enjoying one moment at a time;  Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;  Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world  as it is, not as I would have it;  Trusting that He will make all things right  if I surrender to His Will;  That I may be reasonably happy in this life  and supremely happy with Him  Forever in the next. Amen. ~Serenity Prayer, Reinhold Neibuhr (1892-1971)

Thanks for reading, friend! Please comment below or at our Facebook Page. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic this month, Psalm 139, or the Serenity Prayer.