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Life: Unedited

06.09.2020 by Jennifer Howe //

Welcome to FACETS, friend. This month we’re thinking about a life infused with play, or in my case, living life unedited. You can check out Tracy’s post here. Come back the next two weeks to read posts from Megan and our guest writer, Lauren.

Where is the Room for Play? (J. Howe)

I (Jennifer) spend a lot of my time editing others’ work on stacks of pages and through a screen. Bible studies, books, dissertations, web content—I work on a variety of projects with people. I examine the work, scrutinizing spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I want to help each writer put the best work forward. It’s my job to be sure the words are polished and presentable.

I’ve got a red pen, and I’m not afraid to use it!

I’m an editor professionally, but it’s not lost on me—the “red pen mindset” has crept into other areas of life. I’ve been living a carefully edited life most of my 51 years. A tightly-run ship in my childhood home transitioned to self-protection after traumatic events and settled into controlling patterns wherever I had a chance. For years I heard Star Trek’s Captain Piccard say, “Make it so!” in my head. Then I did what I could to orchestrate the things (and people) according to plan. I’m sad that’s been my reality for so long.

What you don’t know…

I’m returning from one of the most emotional trips I can remember. I’m leaving Nevada after visiting my dad and his lovely wife, soaring high above a western state and winging toward Seattle to connect, hang a right, and land in Chicago.

It’s a little like the time I left Oklahoma City as a kid. I didn’t know I was closer to the last time I’d see my grandfather; I still bawled when I left. My mom’s dad was an amazing man (take a peek at this childhood memory, and you’ll know why). My grandfather and my dad were cut from different cloth, a stark contrast. I don’t recall the same intensely sweet memories with my dad.

Fast-forward to today, and my father isn’t the same man. The gaze is different—softer, maybe. A bit more distant, too. His mannerisms are the same and completely different. The jokes are the same; I know them word-for-word. The polite apologies, thankfulness for my presence, and generosity; that’s all new. I’m meeting the same man and one I’ve never known. It’s gain and loss I don’t have words for at the moment.

Makin’ memories!

I’m traveling with a sister who lives a much less edited life. Two flights out to Nevada. A “Thelma and Louise” road trip from one part of the state to the other through the desert in a 2020 black Mustang convertible, top down. Laughs, photos, and GPS in the middle of nowhere and no signal. An Area 51 trinket shop where (clearly!) trinkets had to be bought. The tiniest state capital. Several days with my dad who definitely lives an unedited life. Losing every card game. A touristy town up the mountain. A late birthday lunch at Red Lobster. Riding mountain roads my dad has driven for thirty years (and still does with skill). A crazy drive back through the desert where GPS took us into California and through the Sierras. (The driver was ‘not disappointed’ with the video game-like driving in the right car!) A drive through Red Rock Canyon. Dinner with my writer friend in Vegas. Sleeping to the airline’s on hold phone system all night. 4:30 AM. Sadness parking the ‘Stang the last time. Two flights with a 4-minute connection window when the door opened (that we made with a sprint and one minute to spare!). And on to Chicago.

Stress? Yes. Fun? Absolutely an adrenaline rush!

Thelma, Louise, and life lessons…

Beyond all we shoe-horned into a few days and travel glitches; my usual, careful patterns were challenged. A muscle car, a road trip with someone who doesn’t edit the same parts of life, and meeting a man who doesn’t edit life much at all will push comfortable boundaries. Something in me wants—or desperately needs?—order in life.

When I consider a playful, unedited life, I know there’s room to grow. There’s a huge difference between my red pen mindset and letting the Lord order my days.

Order, please!

The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way… Psalm 37:23 ESV

Trusting Jesus in every situation infuses His order to life and transitions the stress of my need for order to His care. I trust the One who loves me and cares for me!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. I Peter 5:7 NLT

He knows the road, and He’s on it!

When the road in front of me feels like switchbacks, dips, and bumps in the Sierras, everything in me wants to “Make it so!” But I trade trust for exhaustion and a measure of failure when I take charge. I never intend to walk off the narrow road. My heart wants to be with the One who knows the options, outcomes, and the beauty in divine appointments with anyone He puts in my path. My head, though! Control is about me and my comfort, and it has nothing to do with why He has me here.

A follower of Jesus loves Him with all her heart, mind, and strength; she looks for opportunity to love and serve others, and ultimately introduce them to Jesus in casual conversation and day-to-day activity. That kind of unedited life is infused with and fueled by the Holy Spirit’s truth, love, and power. I can’t muster it; it’s not a “fake it till you make it” thing. And it can be fun and joy-filled!

Trusting and following—that’s where the rubber squeals on the mountain road.

The Right Edits

There are choices (edits) to make in line with who I am in Jesus, and there is so much out there that allows for God-gifted joy and significance, and both sad and happy tears in good company. I lean a little more serious than playful, but I’m eyeing the fun road with Him and others! (Probably not in a shiny 2020 Mustang, sadly.)

Ordering my world exhausts me! I wonder how I’m going to do this fun, unedited life thing. Fear isn’t needed, so I’ll do the work to set it aside. The Bible tells me my steps are ordered, no matter how it looks. I’m reminded control is a myth, fun lies in opportunities I can say yes to, and smiling in uncomfortable moments is a choice.

If you live a carefully edited life, how’s it going for you? Can we both lean into the unedited life? We can certainly pray for each other to find joy in His ordered plans for us.

If you live the God-honoring, play-filled life, share with the rest of us. How’d you do that? Inquiring minds want to know!

If you’ve read this far, thank you for blessing and honoring me. Let’s connect at the Facebook page or the comments below!

As always, sharing is caring. Who else might consider the unedited, playful life?

 

Signature: Jennifer Howe

 

Categories // Jennifer Howe's Perspective, Life Tags // 1 Peter 5:7, Fun, Jennifer J Howe, Joy, LIfe, Life unscripted, Make it so!, Order, Psalm 37:23, Relationship, Room for play, Unedited life

Do They Know They Are Loved?

03.24.2020 by Judy Maldonado //

I (Tracy) can’t wait for you to read our guest contributor’s piece this month!  I’ve been anticipating the day I would be able to share my dear friend’s piece. If you know Judy Maldonado, you love her. She is kind, compassionate, funny, diplomatic, & smart. She loves the Lord, and it shows in her every day actions.  So snuggle up and see what the Lord put on her heart well in advance of this season of slow down and stay in.  Perhaps the Lord knew we’d all need to immerse ourselves in His love to get through our current Covid-19 plight.

03 2020 Do they know they are loved? Guest Judy Maldonado

Sitting in a counselor’s office I was asked to answer a ridiculously easy question, “What are a few things you love about your daughter?”

When I finished listing my top 40 and looked over at my daughter’s face, her eyes were wide.

The counselor asked, “Did you know your mom thought these things about you?”

I immediately thought, “Of course she does. How could she not?”

But my jaw dropped as my daughter slowly shook her head, “No, I had no idea.”

Those few words shook me. How could this amazing girl, my firstborn child, my pride and joy, not know how incredible I thought she was? How could she not grasp I was head over heels in love with her?

As I spent time thinking over this later, it hit me. I do the same thing with my Father. When I make mistakes or when I feel I’m not doing the things I should- having time with Him in the morning, ending my days with reflection and prayer, spending time in the Word- my natural reaction is to think, He must be so disappointed in me. On some level He probably loves me a little less right now. Perhaps I’m not on His priority list, because He’s busy with people who are better at being Christian than I am.

But if I think about His love for me, that the Word tells me is even bigger than my love for my daughter, then I know this is how He really feels:

He loves me with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

He pursues me with goodness and unfailing love. (Psalm 23:6)

He delights in every detail of my life. (Psalm 37:23)

He is merciful and compassionate to me, and He is slow to get angry with me. (Psalm 145:8)

As I read about God’s love for me in His word, I am blown away.  Over 120 times in the NLT translation, the word “unfailing” precedes a reference to God’s love for His people. His love is unfailing. We didn’t earn it. We do not deserve it. We can’t outrun it. We cannot lose it. We cannot hide from it. We can’t run out of it, and we cannot do anything to ever lessen it. We. Are. Loved.

I wish I could get my daughter to see that- to see how I love her with an unfailing love.  I love her even when her actions disappoint me, when she does things I know are not living up to her true potential, when she makes bad choices, and even when she chooses to push me away. I love her. Period.

But I’ve never thought about how my Father loves me in that same way, but better. Romans 8:38 tells me there is absolutely nothing, on earth or in heaven, in life or in death, not my fears for today or worries about tomorrow, that can separate me from His love. That is a big love.

And on hard days, on good days, on every day, I want to take comfort in the fact I am loved so deeply and unconditionally. It is the only way I can demonstrate true love to anyone else around me.

1 John 4:19 says “We love because He first loved us.”

My pastor once said, “When your relationship with God is better, every relationship in your life is better.”

Those words have rung so true in my life. When I am consistently walking and talking with Jesus, I am a different person. I’m happier. I extend grace easily. I’m not even as upset with my youngest daughter when I have to ask her ten times to put her shoes on.

But there is a tangible difference in who I am when I’m not walking closely with Jesus. When I’m at those times in my life, when I’m just dialing in prayers for things that I need or not taking any time to spend in the Bible. That Judy gets angry quickly, yells more, and just feels overwhelmed and burdened. My family can tell the difference and so can I.

I remember a season years ago that felt very heavy and sad. I was working long hours, felt I barely saw my family, and had no time with Jesus. I came home late one night, and my husband said he had a surprise for me. He led me to our basement, to the closet under the stairs. He opened the door to the closet normally stuffed with chairs and random things the kids “put away” when they were cleaning. It now looked like a completely different space. It was freshly painted, had a lamp and a soft chair with my Bible, note pads, pens, and a small stereo for my worship music.

My husband had made me my own war room. He recognized I was not myself and knew the only way I could find myself was to have intentional alone time with my Jesus. I sat in that sacred space for a long time that night, crying and asking God where He had gone, asking why I felt like I couldn’t find Him.

He led me to this verse, “This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.” Isaiah 30:15.

That verse and truth brought me to my knees. I had been trying to do life on my own- living out of my own strength, and I had just run out. I needed to come back to my source of strength and be saved. I needed to remember I was deeply loved, not because of who I am or what I do, but simply because I am His.

Matthew 12:34 says that “…out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

When I haven’t filled my heart daily with the Word of God and spent time in His presence, I have no overflow of His love in me to pour into others. But when I am spending time with Him and living in His peace, I am able to love people in a way that shows them they are truly loved.

So, how do we address the question we began with, Do they know they are loved?

We can’t make anyone know they are loved, but we can choose to consistently and relentlessly love them the way we are loved. Regardless of whether they accept it or how they react to it, regardless of whether they even deserve it, we are called to love. Love them so well they can’t help but draw closer to the Source of our love.

How do you feel God calling you to respond in this moment? Draw near to Him. Experience His love. Freely give love away. Create your own war room. Spend time in His presence.

We pray the Holy Spirit beckons you to respond in the most appropriate way for you, personally, intimately. You are loved!

Join the conversation over on our FACETS of Faith Facebook page.

Signature: Judy Maldonado

Categories // Do They Know They Are Loved?, Guest Perspectives Tags // 1 John 4:19, Isaiah 30:15, Jeremiah 31:3, Love, Matthew 12:34, Psalm 145:8, Psalm 23:6, Psalm 37:23, Romans 8:38, Unfailing Love, War Room

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