Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

Finding Fun When Your Heart is Weary

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Welcome to Facets of Faith! Each week we release a new post on Tuesday exploring a specific question from three or four points of view. You can catch what Tracy and Jen shared by clicking on their names.Image: What Do You Do for Fun? (Green)

This month we’re exploring fun and, quite honestly, I almost skipped it. This question has dodged me for a couple of weeks now. All I have are some thoughts jotted down in my notebook .

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” Proverbs 17:22

Perhaps you’re wondering, like me, what’s so difficult about answering this month’s question: what do I do for fun? That’s exactly what I’ve been wrestling with — why is this proving to be so difficult? I’ve written a profile for a dating website before, so surely I have my “fun factor” figured out (true story, by the way).

I thought about making a simple list of the fun things I enjoy doing. Activities like bike riding and jewelry making, hiking and taking pictures . . . all to encourage you to think about what you enjoy doing, too. 

Then I thought about sharing a story from my childhood and crafting the lesson in a way to highlight why fun is so important.  

But nothing stuck. Nothing, that is, except the truth. So here it is . . .

I am weary, O God; I am weary and worn out, O God.” Proverbs 30:1b, NLT

How I really feel

I’m exhausted. I think change and a cross-country move and life have caught up to me and smacked me upside the head. Add on top of that the conflict our country has engaged in over uniting families and this tender heart, mercy-loving, empath is about done. The mere thought of fun right now? Ugh. I don’t even know how to finish that thought.

I thought about sharing why I’m so weary, but some of what’s happening isn’t ready to be shared and, honestly, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. For as tired as I feel, I still see God’s goodness all around. His provision. His sustaining grace. His love and mercy. His kindness. 

I’m trying to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, yet here I am, ready to skip answering this month’s question because, well, life.

How about you

Can you relate? Do you read Scripture or hear a message and know, deep in your soul, what you’re supposed to do? But then when it comes to actually doing what you’ve learned, you just seem to fall short?

Okay. Good. Now we know we’re not alone.

Here’s the thing —even though we may think we’re unable to do what we’ve learned, the truth is we’re not alone. We have the Helper, the Holy Spirit who leads and guides and prompts and strengthens. He gives us courage to embrace the undoable, the difficult, the thing that we fear most.

For me, right now? It’s not only answering this month’s questions, it’s to realize the value in making space for laughter, for brevity . . . finding fun when my heart is weary. 

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10, NLT

Here we go

So here’s my answer —unfiltered and possibly a bit unspiritual, but completely authentic.

What do I do for fun? It honestly depends on the day. Some days fun is  vegging out in front of the TV, binge-watching some adventure show the whisks me away. Shows like The Flash, Supergirl, or the Closer.

Sometimes fun looks like power-shopping for clothes for our ever-growing kids or sauntering through a second-hand shop or antique store where I hunt for treasure from years past.

There are days when I need space to rest my mind and soul and simply not think —to escape the troubles of this world by diving into a compelling story where good triumphs over evil or the underdog finally wins.

Other times fun looks like chatting with a dear friend, someone who knows and accepts me for all of my flaws and failures, who loves me no matter what. 

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9, NLT

Finding fun when my heart is weary

I received a package from a dear friend a couple of days ago. As one of the kids handed me the package,  my husband gave me that look. I assured him I hadn’t ordered another book (oh . . . books! Definitely one of my funs). 

I opened the packed and tucked inside was a Narnia coloring book. Three of my favorites all in one plain brown package: a gift, the imagination stirred by Narnia, and coloring. (I can’t draw —so I color.)

Tears welled up as I chuckled. I had prayed for encouragement early that morning. My heart was heavy with the weight of the world and I desperately cried out to God for hope. I begged Him to show me that He saw me, not just the things that I do.

It’s fun to see God work. Humbling, too. I received this gift the same day I decided to scrap my post for Facets of Faith this month. Yet as I paged through the coloring book, my heart and imagination stirred with the roar of Aslan. I began to realize that maybe setting time aside for fun wasn’t frivolous but something that breathes life into my weariness.

So don’t mind me as I steal away for a few moments of fun and color.

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

What do you do for fun when your heart is weary? Join the conversation by posting below or over on our Facebook page.

Signature: Kim Findlay

A Desperate Heart

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Welcome to Facets of Faith! We’re so glad you’re taking a few moments from your day to join us. This month we’re sharing what we’re most desperate for God to do. Tracy and Jen have shared their hearts and words earlier this month –you can check them out by clicking on their names. Next week we have a special guest, my dear friend Abby, and you won’t want to miss it. But for today, it’s my (Kim’s) turn.

I sit staring at the screen. The cursor blinks at me. Mocking me. Taunting me.

You won’t get it done. You’re in over your head.

The whispered words poke the anxiety floating just below the surface, tightening my stomach as it squeezes my soul. The day’s to do list grows long as I think about yet another task to be done and another that might tumble to the side.

I can’t do this.

I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear.” Psalm 143:4, NLT

The realization crushes my heart. I feel like every cartoon character that has ever run smack into the wall. S p l a t !

Lord, I need you. The words begin to bubble from the deepest parts of my soul. I can’t do this.

I think about all of the responsibilities I carry. Wife. Mom. Stepmom. Daughter. Friend. Ministry leader. Counselor. Encourager. Problem solver. Cook. Maid. While it might look impressive on a resume, the weight of responsibilities weigh me down like an anchor trying to steady a ship.

Breath in me, Holy Spirit. Breathe new life into these dry bones. (Ezekiel 37:4-6)

My heart aches. I need you, Lord. I think about the people who depend on me, the ones who look to me for direction, for encouragement, for love. The ones that live under my roof. The ones that carry a piece of my heart. They deserve my very best and yet . . . how often do I look at them as an interruption? A distraction? A frustration?

How often do I look to those around me as a means to an end, that if I can simply get them to do what I want them to do, life will settle. Life will be calm. (insert wide-eyes emoji here) What a lie.

I’m desperate, Lord. For grace. Forgive me for not loving well, for trying to control what is beyond my reach. For not being present for the very ones you’ve entrusted to me. I’m desperate for your forgiveness and grace.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:16, NLT

I sit in the quiet as truth begins to shine through the lies. Truth that He hears me, that He forgives, that He knows all I am facing and not only has enough strength for me to endure, He himself is enough.

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” Psalm 23:1

Realization begins to dawn like a gentle and glorious sunrise. I am alway desperate for God, for Him to reveal Himself in my life. Some days I feel the desperation more than others but the desperation is there.

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain i me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5, NLT

I am desperate for God to move. To redeem the broken places and restore the wounded spaces. I am desperate for Him to speak to me —to reveal His will and His purpose, to replace my heart of stone with one that loves tenderly and completely, expecting nothing in return.

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Ezekiel 36:26, NLT

I am desperate for God to remind me that He is always with me and will never leave me; that He is victorious.

I am desperate for God to remind me that each task on my list has value, that each one brings Him glory when my heart and motive is set on Him and not myself. I am desperate for Him to remind me that each task leads to something bigger than I can see. That the laundry that piles up and the meals that need to be cooked can bring Him glory.

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31, NLT

I am desperate to hear God’s voice and the whispered words that encourage and nourish my soul. Words of love and affirmation. Words that challenge me to see beyond my current circumstances, past the entanglement of my emotions. Words that breathe life and hope and joy.

Long ago the Lord said to Israel, ‘I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” Jeremiah 31:3, NLT

I’m desperate to know truth. Truth that declares that I matter, that my wounds matter. That the pain I’ve suffered and the struggles I’ve endured have a place in the story of redemption He is writing through my life.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8, NLT

I am as desperate for His presence as I am for the air that courses through my lungs, as I sit in the quiet and allow His love to wash over me, for HIs hope to nourish me, for His peace to strengthen me.

Yes, I am desperate. And there is no place I’d rather be.

As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God.” Psalm 42:1, NLT

What are you desperate for God to do? Can you relate to any of the things I listed? Write a comment below or head over to our Facebook page and join the conversation. We’d love to hear from you!

Signature: Kim Findlay