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The Gift of Friendship

08.25.2020 by Kelli Worrall //

The Facets of Faith team is excited to share two of our lovely friends with you. That’s right, two writers this guest post rather than one.  We thought, “What fun would it be for two dear friends to collaborate on a piece about friendship?”  We knew just who to ask, Gloria Cooley and Kelli Worrall are fabulous friends who share a common bond – first Jesus, then life experiences, and time invested in each other.  We can learn a lot from others’ friendships. Keep reading for their fun real-life story of friendship on mission and orchestrated by God. We love them, and we know you will too!

Hey, Thelma! Who's Your Louise? (Guest)

I met Gloria in the fall of 2012 when our kids were in preschool together—and we initially bonded over the subject of adoption. My husband Peter and I had recently returned from China with our daughter Amelia, and Gloria and her husband Daniel were completing the paperwork for their own Chinese adoption.

Since then our friendship has expanded and deepened. We’ve been friends for eight years, but it seems much longer. In a good way! Maybe it’s because we’ve been through some big things together in those eight years. Maybe it’s because Gloria is one of those people with whom I was very quickly able to talk about anything—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Maybe it’s because Gloria is one of the most faithful friends you could ever want to have.

We’ve been in small groups and writing groups together, enjoyed many meals together—she’s been there when my cooking has turned out well and when it’s been a flop. We have celebrated birthdays and holidays and milestones.

But one of my favorite Gloria memories so far has to be Spring Break 2014.

You may remember the winter of 2013-14. Or perhaps you’ve blocked it from your memory. It was one of the top four worst winters in the Chicago area. Sixty-seven inches of snow. The third-coldest winter on record. 26 days of below 0 temps. The Polar Vortex brought bitter cold temps way into March.

Near the end of March—at the beginning of Spring Break week—Gloria and I met with our kids at the Jump Zone, and the Jump Zone was crazy! Our kids were climbing the walls—literally—while she and I stood in the midst of the chaos, just staring at each other—still cold to the bone. While the kids were burning off steam, the Jump Zone wasn’t doing anything for our stir-craziness.

Eventually, Gloria looked at me wistfully and said, “I’ve been dreaming about sticking Eleanor in the car and driving to my in-law’s lake house in Texas.”

I looked wistfully back at her and replied, “That’s funny because I’ve been dreaming of sticking my kids in the car and driving down to see my family in Tennessee.”

We both chuckled for a moment.

Then we looked back at each other through squinty, quizzical, “are you thinking what I’m thinking” eyes. I don’t remember which one of us first voiced the question: “Why don’t we do it?”

We rolled the idea over in our minds for only a minute or two before we called our husbands, expecting them to talk us out of it. However, they didn’t. I think they were secretly thrilled to see us go.

As soon as we hung up our phones, we started making plans. We would take our kids home, feed them lunch, pack our bags, and leave early the next morning.

So I took my kids home. I fed them lunch, and I started making a packing list—all the time thinking, “This is crazy.”

Suddenly, my phone rang, and it was Gloria. I answered the phone and didn’t even say, “Hello.” I just asked the obvious, “Are you having second thoughts?”

“Yes,” she said. But then she continued: “But not about going. I’m just not sure we should wait until tomorrow. I think we should leave now! That way we can drive through the night. The kids will sleep in the car, and we’ll be there by morning.”

I didn’t miss a beat. “Ok!” I said.

Then I ran around the house, shoving clothing and kid paraphernalia in bags. Within an hour and a half, Gloria pulled into my icy driveway. We shifted all of her luggage into my vehicle, and in no time at all we were on the road.

My husband jokingly called us “Thelma and Louise”—those famous friends. Thankfully, our trip bore little resemblance to theirs—other than it was a wonderful opportunity to bond and deepen our friendship.

A couple of years after our crazy trip, Gloria and I shared this story at a women’s Christmas tea. It served as the introduction to a message we gave about another friendship—of some far more famous women, who bonded over the most extreme adventure one could imagine. These two women were Mary, mother of Jesus, and her cousin/friend Elizabeth.

Elizabeth only appears in one chapter of the Bible, yet despite her brief mention in Scripture, she plays quite an influential role. We don’t know a lot about her—only that she was quite a bit older than Mary, and she had married well. Her husband was a priest. Yet despite these desirable qualities, Elizabeth bore a scarlet letter. She was barren.

Then one day something miraculous happened.

An angel appeared to her husband Zacharias while he was in the temple. “Do not be afraid,” the angel said. “Your petition has been heard and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will give him the name John.” This child would make ready the way for the Lord

            Zacharias questioned the angel’s message, and the angel told him that because of his disbelief he would be unable to speak until the child was born. And immediately, Zacharias became mute. He returned home to Elizabeth, and soon she became pregnant.

But Elizabeth was not to walk alone in her pregnancy.

God would soon provide another gift for her.

The gift of a friend.

Mary was different from Elizabeth in many ways. She was young, unmarried, but engaged. She was a virgin from Nazareth—a modest, agrarian society.

Just months after the angel appeared to Zacharias, God sent Gabriel to Mary in Nazareth. As far as we know, she was alone when the angel appears. Certainly, she was startled and afraid. But Gabriel began with a blessing and a declaration of God’s grace.

Then he delivered his astonishing news. “Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus.”

But this wouldn’t be just any baby. The angel continued, “He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end.”

This proposition didn’t make logical sense, so Mary asked, “How can this be since I have never known a man?”

“The Holy Spirit will come upon you,” the angel said. “And this baby will be the Son of God.”

Then Gabriel offered Mary a bit of evidence, some more miraculous news. Mary’s relative Elizabeth—old and barren—was pregnant as well. Six months along.

“For nothing,” the angel concluded, “Nothing is impossible with God.”

How did Mary respond? With complete conviction and commitment, she said, “I am a bondslave of the Lord. May it be to me as you have said.”

Mary’s first order of business after the angel leaves was to plan a trip to the hill country of Judea, outside of Jerusalem. It was a three-day journey of some 80 or more miles—not an easy journey for a young girl.

But Mary had to find Elizabeth. She wanted to see with her own eyes the sign of which the angel spoke.

As soon as Elizabeth saw Mary’s face, the baby in her own womb leapt for joy! Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and in a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!….Why am I so favored that the mother of my Lord should come to me? Blessed is she who has believed what the Lord has said.”

This meeting of two mothers was one of utmost joy. Both women wondered at their privilege and the favor they had found with God. Both women were ready and willing to be used by Him.

Obviously, the narrative in Luke chapter 1 is one of the most important passages in all of Scripture as the imminent virgin birth of our Lord was announced.

But as we look at these two women—whose lives converged around this most important point in history—we also see some beautiful things happening between them. We see an example of what a friendship centered around Jesus can do.

  • First, God used their friendship to confirm what He was doing in each of their lives.
  • Second, Elizabeth accepted Mary when others probably shunned her and could not understand.
  • Third, Mary and Elizabeth rejoiced together in what God was doing and pointed each other to Him.

The level of joy in Luke 1:39-46 is beyond compare. There is no competition between Mary and Elizabeth. No “my son is going to be greater than your son.” No “why didn’t God give me your life?” There is just joy and awe and gratitude.

They each expressed humility at having been chosen by God for such a role.

And they praised God together for who He is, for what He has done, and what He will do.

Our prayer for each of you is you find and foster such friendships in your own life, that God’s sovereign hand would lead you to godly friendships full of laughter, love and blessing. In Jesus’ name, amen!

We’d love it if you joined the conversation.  What are your thoughts on friendship? Post your thoughts on the Facets of Faith Facebook page.

 

Categories // Friendship, Guest Perspectives, Thelma! Who's Your Louise? Tags // Adoption, Adventure, Friendship, Luke 1, Luke 1:39-46, Mary and Elizabeth, Road trip

Hey Thelma, Who’s Your Louise?

08.04.2020 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith and our discussion on friendship. While our summer looks a bit different than many of us planned, I pray you are finding ways to connect with the friends you love.

When we first discussed this topic, I envisioned a piece about the fun adventures I’d take with one of my girlfriends.  I thought it might be an amazing assignment involving a road trip, laughter and a spirit of adventure.  Then Covid created this odd, social standard where we stay physically distant from each other.

So I’m going on a celebratory adventure of some of the Louise’s God has brought into my life and how they’ve impacted it.  I’ll take a rain check on the road trip, because that has to happen!

Hey, Thelma! Who's Your Louise? (T. Stella)

One of the Louise’s in my life loves Jesus, worship, motorcycles, and coffee chats full of authentic conversation.  We share that.  She also loves chickens, alpacas and goats.  Those we don’t share, but that’s okay.  Real friendship doesn’t mean we have to be identical; it means we see and appreciate our differences too.  Friendship rooted in the gift of vulnerability says, “You are safe.  I can share with you.”  She’s that kind of friend.

She is a treasure to me, and truly a gift God sent when I needed friendship.  God hand-selected her for me, and if you knew her, you’d know how truly blessed I am.  Like Thelma and Louise, our friendship involved a road trip.

Great friendships take courage

Maybe you needed to read this piece just to take away this nugget:

Be brave enough to extend an invitation to someone you don’t know.  You never know if she may become one of your best friends.

You see, I had radically shifted my lifestyle:  from sinner to saint (who still sometimes sins).  My old friends were confused by my new behaviors.  I remember feeling lonely. God knew my heart, even if I didn’t express it to Him at the time.

He prompted me to invite someone I didn’t know to spend an entire weekend together at a women’s conference.  I had an extra ticket and I wasn’t sure who was supposed to attend with me.  After prayer, God placed her name on my heart.  And I’m glad He did.  Because, you see, He knew we had a lot in common and we needed to be friends.

It felt incredibly brave to me at the time, especially since I’m a bit of an introvert.

“Hey, I don’t know you very well, but how about if we drive 5 hours to St. Louis, spend the whole weekend together in the same hotel room, attend this women’s conference, and see how it goes?”

God will have you do some crazy stuff, my friends.  Crazy! And terrifying!  But sometimes those adventures might turn out to be incredibly terrific.  This one did!

God is faithful. And He sets the lonely in friendships that feel like family.

Find your friendships that feel like family

God sets the lonely in families,

            he leads out the prisoners with singing

Psalm 68:6a NIV

 

Friends that feel like family are the perfect Louise to your Thelma.  If you don’t have them, I pray God brings them into the fold of your life.  If you do, I pray He grows them to be even more blessed.

While I thought I’d be writing a free-spirited piece about adventure (something my adrenaline seeking spirit loves), my heart is also lamenting right now. I wished one of my Louise’s well as she moved 1,024 miles away.

When we are following God, sometimes He takes us down different paths which spread us out (but not apart).  We’re still friends, spiritually linked forever because this Louise happens to be someone I am spiritually connected to in a special way.

Know this: you are worthy of friendship

I remember the first time I thought about being friends with a pastor’s wife.  I thought to myself, “Um.  Not worthy.”  You see, I was a baby Christian still breaking free from my sin and shame, but this Louise saw something different in me.  She saw who God was making me into, and she spoke precious words over me that I still treasure.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. ─Proverbs 31:25 NIV

I haven’t always felt strong in life, but I postured as though I was.  That was my former defense mechanism.  She prophesied words over me that now feel true (or at least a whole lot truer than they did about a decade ago).

I also had felt a lot of shame, but that’s not what she spoke over me.  She spoke the word dignity over me and my life.  And, amazingly, that is the spacious place God has brought me to.  He used my precious friend to give those words to me as a gift.

It’s a good place to pause and remind us all to speak words of encouragement over one another.  Let’s challenge ourselves to listen to the Holy Spirit’s prompting and be the words of love and encouragement our friends need to hear.  Those words have the power to transform a person’s life.

I have done ministry with this woman. I have shared deeply and laughed SO HARD, because she is hilarious.  Her hands dunked me in the baptismal and joyously celebrated new life in me as a child of God.

She too is a treasure.  She’s on assignment by God and she and her family are following hard after Him, thus the reason she is now a resident of Colorado (effective last weekend).  The one consolation I have in this is I now have the perfect excuse to visit one of my favorite places to see some of my favorite people!

Find friends who follow God & bless our faith

Having friendships that follow hard after the things of God for their lives is truly a great blessing.  Their faith grows ours.  I have realized the friendships I have treasured most are ones in which they commit to learn and grow more each day about who they are and what their contribution to the world will be.  I so appreciate friends on the path to always learning and growing.

Maybe it’s because I don’t ever want to stop learning and growing myself.  The woman I am at 50+ years is a much different version of the woman I was in my 20s, 30s and even 40s.

I’m still learning more and more about who I am, and much of that comes through fabulous friends who see and say things to help us realize our giftedness and calling.

And who we feel safe to share with when we fall flat, because we know they’ll dust us off and help us stand again.

When ones’ life has shifted so dramatically, so too has her friendships.

There are a few friendships I miss (I imagine that’s probably true for you too). Not every relationship is for a lifetime, but we can hope some are.  I feel like we need to consult with God about that.

What friendships is God calling you to in this season?

God redeems and restores friendships

I’ve seen Him restore a friendship I thought was permanently severed.  I remember being afraid to bump into this person at the store, because we’d had quite a traumatic end.   But we serve a resurrection God, and He brought that person back into my life.  He knew it was safe to do so – for her and for me.  I felt peace about it and time demonstrated that feeling to be true. We were different women and we both realized where we’d went wrong.  God had grown us, and then He resurrected what I would have once told you was permanently dead.

That person had played a pivotal role in my attending church.  I wouldn’t have went had she not invited me.  (That whole not worthy thing.) We had shared familial history and we understood one another’s story.  We were brought together during tragic life circumstances that God used to grow us closer to Him and each other.

Be on guard of the enemy’s plans to unravel relationships

I’m sure the enemy didn’t want us helping each other learn how to stand, so he tore us apart.  I really didn’t understand spiritual matters all that much back then.  I was just learning about the things of God. I didn’t know how much I also needed to be on guard for the plans of the enemy. He loves to tear relationships apart, especially when they are trying to help one another seek after the things of God.

Maybe you need to read this piece for that nugget of truth. The enemy has plans to unravel godly friendships, but God tells us to be relationally on guard for that. God doesn’t want our friendships stolen from us; he wants those relationships to be part of the abundant life He died to give us.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.─John 10:10 NIV

There are a few friendships I grieve the loss over.

Grieve & pray about lost friendships

Sometimes, God has to rip you (or them) out of one environment for reasons seen and unseen.  I miss my friend I called sister for nearly two decades. She knew things about me I didn’t tell ANYONE.  She saw a lot of my sin.  Don’t get me wrong, I still sin … but she saw the big stuff.

I don’t want to celebrate my former sin; it led to some pretty painful destinations.  But I do celebrate her, and I hope one day God will bring us back together.  We didn’t fight; we faded.

Celebrate your sister w/o celebrating your past sin

I think because she knew me and all of my sin, God had to separate us so He could work on separating me from my former sin.  It’s my running theory. I’m not sure what He’s been doing in her life, but I’m sure He’s up to something amazing there too.  I pray He is and I hold out hope for our friendship.

She is brilliant and funny.

We used to spend the whole week of the 4th of July out on my boat with magazines splayed across the seats where all sorts of girl talk would ensue.  She was my roommate at our national sales meetings, and I knew I could count on our bathroom vanity to be a hot mess with her things strewn all over.

She packed a separate suitcase just for her shoes.  How can you not love a woman like that?  If one of your favorite places is DSW, you know this friendship was a match made in heaven!  Like Cinderella’s glass slipper, it just fit.

She could come over to my place no matter what it looked like, because real friends let their friends see their homes even when they’re a mess.

She knew my love of boots.  When I stood up for her at her wedding, that was her gift to me — an amazing pair of grey suede boots that I still adore.  Hey, you know you’re a good friend when you can pick out a pair of boots for the other one.  It’s kind of like picking out another woman’s purse. You better know her taste!

This is a funny Thelma & Louise type story.  It still makes me laugh.  Boy, were we some crazy “kids”.

It was April and the thermostat read over 80 degrees. My Louise went to the city with me where we happened upon a cute boutique.  I found the most amazing pair of sunglasses I had to have. It was the weather’s fault as I was feeling a bit more free- spirited, as so often happens when the temperature heats up prematurely after a winter thaw.

After my shiny new sunglass purchase, I proposed to my friend we test drive convertibles.

She said, “No way!” (Because she knew her Thelma friend wouldn’t just take the car for a test drive.) She didn’t want to get in trouble with my then-husband for playing a role in this adventure that would involve a major purchase.

Finally, I talked her into it.  I saw an adorable silver 2-seater stick shift and I was in love.  The car salesperson asked me if I knew how to drive stick shift, but it felt more like a statement than a question.

I wanted to say, “Child, please!”  Instead I spoke with my driving skills. He may have had to hold on a little tight that day as I took the curves snug and sharp.  (Still makes me laugh thinking about it.)

When I got back from my test drive, “Louise” saw that look on my face.

“I have to buy it.  It matches my sunglasses perfectly.”

She shook her head and laughed, because she knew she’d be unable to talk me out of it.

We all need those friends with mutual history that can tell of our stupid stories, but love us too much to share them.  This “Louise” holds many pages from my days of youth where you think you are invincible, until you realize you’re not.

I honestly think, in part, it was too hard for her to see my life unravel.  And at the time, that’s exactly what was happening.

But I have learned sometimes God unravels a person’s life to weave it together in a far more beautiful fashion.  He wants the tapestry to look like a masterpiece from all angles – forward and behind.  I pray He does weave this sweet friend back into my life.  I remember her saying something to the effect of she didn’t know what to talk about around me anymore.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.─Ephesians 2:10 NLT

This verse gives me hope, because God sets us where we are with whom we are for a reason. He planned our relationships long ago, and even as He creates us anew He is weaving together a beautiful masterpiece — our life.

Trust God is making a masterpiece of your life as He weaves beautiful friendships into it

If my Louise reads this (and I hope she does), I’d tell her to just be yourself. Real friends let you do that.  I’d also say, “Yes, there are parts of me that are much different from whom I used to be.  But there are parts of me that haven’t changed.”

I still love boots and you never know, maybe I’ll get another convertible one of these days.  If I get the inclination, I know just who to call!

She’ll always be my Louise.

There are many friendships I celebrate and treasure, but for whatever reason, these are the ones I felt led to highlight. I trust someone needed to read these vignettes about friendship to help them find (or find again) their own.

I pray every person reading this is blessed with the Louise to your Thelma, those treasured friendships that help us feel seen and loved. I pray God highlights the area He wants you to focus on regarding your friendships.

Which of these stands out to you? What is God speaking to you through the headline?

  • Great friendships take courage
  • Find your friendships that feel like family
  • Know this: you are worthy of friendship
  • Find friends who follow God & bless our faith
  • God redeems and restores friendships
  • Be on guard of the enemy’s plans to unravel relationships
  • Grieve & pray about lost friendships
  •  Celebrate your sister w/o celebrating your past sin
  •  Trust God is making a masterpiece of your life as He weaves beautiful friendships into it

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Categories // Friendship, Tracy Stella's Perspective Tags // Celebrate your sister, Courage, Created anew, Dignity, encourage, Ephesians 2:10, Follow God, Friends that feel like family, Friendship, God's masterpiece, Grieve lost friendship, Invitation, John 10:10, Proverbs 31:25, Psalm 68:6, Redemption, Restoration, Road trip, Satan, Thelma & Louise, Worthy

We Are Family: Finding and Getting to Know Your Family

02.12.2019 by Jennifer Howe //

Welcome to Facets! We’re glad you dropped by. We think you’ll enjoy this month’s topic: finding family. Tracy shared about finding family through a DNA test, Kim is crafting thoughts for next Tuesday, and the following week we have a guest to introduce.Have You Found Your Family? (JJ Howe)I (Jennifer) have memories: playing outside until dusk in the little suburban neighborhood; games of football, frisbee, and tag in a vacant lot across the street; neighborhood kids in that lot after school, Saturday afternoons, and more often in the summer. When the street light on our corner lit up, it was time to go home.

I, with my short legs, wanted to tag along with my older sisters; truth is, as a little sister, I wasn’t cool enough to run with the big kids. I’d show up, only to be sent home. That stage went on for at least three forevers.

In a blink, the oldest sister was off to school, then the second. By then I was drowning in turbulent high school years that transitioned into college chaos. The last sister was on her own journey four years later.

The nest eventually emptied; we all found our flight patterns. I migrated furthest away. We still gather when we can, and I’ve found the transition in these years to be refreshing. It’s been a long time coming, this season we’re in.

You can live with people and never know them.
Never assume. Lesson learned. I lived nearly 18 years with my sisters and thought I knew every detail about them. The truth is I held a caricature of each sister in my mind. One was “the smart, responsible one.” Another was “the smart, social one.” Another was “the super-talented one who could do anything.” Those descriptions were accurate. The distorted caricature took shape over layers of sibling arguing and competition.

Lately, the time spent with family has been different. We’ve flown and grown. Time apart allowed for new experiences and individual growth. I’m not the same person. But, guess what! They aren’t the same either. Some threads in the fabric are distinct, maybe bolder or shinier than they were. The character traits are intricately woven. Many threads have changed or been removed altogether, a little like intricate cutwork. Much of who I am (and who my sisters are) may come from our shared environment as kids, but now I know we didn’t experience the same things in the same way. Many life-changing experiences were never shared at all.

Three phone calls changed my relationships.

Road trips are revealing.
Two phone calls on very different days.

The first asked if I was willing to go on a road trip to Massachusetts. I had spent time with my sister, but nothing as long or in such small space. I had the time, and I love road trips. We’d do a little sight seeing, but there was a new baby to see, too. An adventure! With a sister? Okay. Our rental car had no key fob, stormy weather followed us east for two days, and we talked most of the way. I, being an early riser and too noisy, learned about my sister’s morning routine. And we had fun, except for that one morning. (I learned to be quieter!)

I wouldn’t have traded the experience for anything! Driving through two days of downpour, almost running out of gas, the precious newborn, the walks through Boston, the once-in-a-lifetime lunch. All of it is treasure!

The second call was different. The road trip was short enough to do in a day, but long enough to make it difficult. This one was tricky; the “official ask” didn’t come. I made the assumption I wasn’t needed but took it back when a voice whispered, “Would you write about finding your family without leaning in here?” No. No, I wouldn’t. We padded the trip with a relaxed evening, knowing a long day waited on the other side of sleep. An evening, a long day with a mission, and driving home overnight. That’s an opportunity to get to know someone.

This trip was different: there were moments when it was just two sisters, and then there was extended time with a third family member I spend no time with. And it was all really good, as tough as the trip was. We were short on time and long on miles. The weather would shift, but it was tough to know how and when. Add snow to the end of a long drive, and it just wears on a driver. We did it, though. And for me, finding family on this trip was about little conversations in pockets and longer conversations when the hours crawled.

I wouldn’t trade the road trips for anything. I learned shared experience isn’t completely shared. The caricatures I held in my mind cracked, and pieces began to fall away when I understood my sisters’ perspectives. The relationships between us have been shifting for years—they still need tending to grow—but I can see and understand why things became tense and how they can become healthy. I simply agreed to a couple of road trips.

Share the best me with family.
In less than a month I’ll celebrate one of those birthdays—you know, one where the math gets really simple to calculate the age. *wink* I’m not that little girl running after my sisters’ crowd anymore. My legs aren’t too short—they touch the ground when I’m standing, and I can wear four-inch heels. My natural, metallic roots were given the freedom they always wanted. I’m more comfortable in my own skin. (It’s about time!)

I’ve learned lessons in this stage, and each one is precious! This one (presenting my best self with family) was harder. In order to do it, I had to offer the real me, something JEN-uine. I can’t be on a hunt to find my family without offering authentic me.

Families may play a wicked game of “best self” with overdone, fake, cleaned-up images. No one is interested in that, but authenticity and vulnerability only happen in safe places. That means listening more than speaking, noticing more than ignoring, and validating more than preaching, teaching, or explaining. And then there’s taking ownership of the “stuff.”

The “best me” gets real and accepts all the ridiculous shortcomings.
The third call was hard. I dialed a sister who had to be deeply wounded by my words and actions. I was aware, and I wanted to try to repair. It was a good conversation. There was the initial brush-off that can happen when one asks forgiveness, but I pressed in gently. I asked about the pain and emotions connected to my words and actions. I apologized. We both cried. I found family in another way.

We lose relationships over years of disconnection. Ignored hurts are relational landmines, and those are only deactivated in quiet, intimate, carefully-selected moments. Beneath the rubble of a harsh past lies a potentially beautiful future for family. It takes time and intention.

Friend, I don’t know your story—but we have been placed in families, and it can be amazing and wonderful and challenging (and downright hard!). Have you gone looking for your family? Do you know them? Really know them? I find the search to be tough when I haven’t taken time to listen, notice, and validate; but it’s really rich when I do.

Thanks for reading all these words, friend! I’d love to know more about your own journey to finding family. Will you comment below or the Facebook Page?

Signature, Jennifer Howe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P. S. Check the comments for additional thoughts on finding family from me!

Categories // Finding Family, Friendship, Jennifer Howe's Perspective Tags // Active listening, Authenticity, Err and repair, Finding family, Jennifer J Howe, Loving well, Repairing relationships, Road trip, Sibling rivalry, Sisters, The best me, Vulnerability

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Categories

  • A Weary World Rejoices
  • Blooming in Marriage
  • Changes
  • Connection Before Correction
  • Desperate for God to Do?
  • Difficult People
  • Do They Know They Are Loved?
  • Do They Know They Are Loved?
  • Do You Believe God?
  • Do You Give Her the Royal Treatment?
  • Do You Kow You Are…
  • Do You See What I See
  • Expecting the Unexpected
  • Faith
  • Finding Family
  • Forgiveness
  • Freedom
  • Freedom on the Road to Calling
  • Friendship
  • Going Through Change
  • Going Through the Change
  • Guest Perspectives
  • How Do You See 2020?
  • How does God respond to me?
  • How Does Prayer Fuel Hope?
  • How Does the Enemy Try to Silence You?
  • How to Love When It's Hard
  • Intimacy
  • Jennifer Howe's Perspective
  • Joy/Humor
  • Kim Findlay's Perspective
  • Life
  • Life Lessons
  • Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Surrender
  • Mama Guilt
  • Megan Abbott's Perspective
  • Perspective
  • Precious Attributes of God
  • Resurrection Power
  • Safe to be Really Me?
  • Say No
  • Say Yes
  • Singing in April's Showers
  • Spring Forward with God
  • Thankfulness: How do we serve?
  • The Blessing
  • The Blessing: January 2021
  • The Do Over
  • The FACETS Team
  • The Lion the Lamb and the Mirror
  • The Story of Christmas
  • The Trinity: Intimately knowing and growing
  • Thelma! Who's Your Louise?
  • Tracy Stella's Perspective
  • Trusting God When Afraid
  • Truth and Denial
  • Turning Little into Much
  • Uncategorized
  • What are You Going Back to?
  • What Do I Have to Offer
  • What Do You Do for Fun?
  • What Do You Dream About?
  • What has God rescued you from?
  • Who Burnt My Turkey?
  • Who Do You Love?
  • Who Do You Say I Am?
  • Woman of God?

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